74. Chapter Seventy-Four
Xander has been gone for only three days, and I’m going crazy without him. Despite talking twice a day, once with Alex, and later having a more intimate conversation with just the two of us, involving a bit of phone action. Xander”s dirty talk has always been a turn-on, but damn, when he gets explicit about what he wants to do to me, it”s next level.
Xander filled me in about Ronnie, who won’t quit hitting on him. Just last night, right after the concert, she showed up at his door, saying she wanted to chat. Instead of opening the door, Xander had Neil come over and ask her to leave. The guys” new plan is to get Neil to kick her out when she shows up. Poor Neil. I feel sorry for him for having to deal with her shitty antics. But I tell you, if I ever come across that bitch, she’s gonna regret hitting on my man.
Xander’s day trip pics are always a riot, especially with the guys’ hilarious disguises. But none of them can beat Theo”s crazy sideburns and over-the-top mustache. Without Reg, they”re having a blast exploring more of the country they”re touring. And in turn, I send Xander photos of Alex and me as we go about our days.
We”ve made ourselves at home in this beautiful place. I haven”t had a chance to hang my posters yet, the ones from my old bedroom. I’m kinda lost on where to put them because I wanna make sure it’s okay with Xander. Especially with all the music awards proudly displayed on the walls, highlighting his success with diamond, gold, and platinum albums.
During the afternoons, Alex and I enjoy spending time together in the pool. Afterward, we head indoors, where I indulge in some baking, and Alex tries to learn his dad’s songs on his guitar. There are many moments when I see him, completely engrossed in his guitar, hunched over with the instrument resting on his lap. His mouth slightly contorts in concentration, reminiscent of Xander. When Xander’s back, Alex wants to play one of the band”s songs on his guitar to surprise him.
Whenever my son talks about his dad, I can see the love in his eyes. Despite the difficulty I faced at the time and over the years that followed, I know now that leaving my mom”s house was the best choice, particularly when she began speaking ill of Xander. The father-child relationship is something I’ve always held sacred, and I would never want it to be tainted. I felt compelled to tell Alex about his dad, even though Xander had not been a part of his life at that point. The last thing I wanted was to follow in my mother”s footsteps, witnessing the chaos she created with her hurtful words and actions towards my father.
Every day, I am uncovering the world of music that I have missed out on for so many years. The sound of the piano resonates through the air as I lose myself in the melodies that effortlessly come to life under my fingertips. It feels as though a beloved old friend has resurfaced, granting me a renewed sense of liberation and emotional release, just as it once did before.
As I navigate through this journey, a powerful urge emerges within me to aid children who face difficulties in communicating, especially those who cannot speak. The aspirations I once had for my life are resurfacing. I realize now that my mother’s perception of me does not define who I am. I have the potential to surpass her expectations and become so much more than she thinks.