Chapter 4
Jack
While I am dressing for work Saturday morning, I find myself wondering if I really want to make the commitment of marriage right now.
Before I leave for work, I try to call Willow. Hoping the sound of her voice will calm the anxiety inside. My call goes to voice mail. So I text her.
Willow: I think we should take the next couple of days and think things through.
I really don’t think you are all that excited about marrying me.
Take some time and think about it. We can talk about it Friday night at the wedding party dinner.
If you want to call it off, we could make the announcement then.
If you want to talk before, I’ll be open for that… Jack
I hesitate for a few moments and then hit send. Instantly, I feel a sense of relief. Almost like a sense of closure of some sort. Is that what I really want? Do I want this to be over?
I keep myself busy at work Saturday. Keeping my mind off of Willow. On Saturday evening, I have beers with Tommy at our favorite watering hole.
“It’s not too late to back out buddy. You are young and jest getting established. Good looking guy like you with the bread you make could attract all kinds of women.” Tommy told me while we watched some strippers and drank beer.
“I’m not saying anything bad Jack. But think about it. The only girl you have been with since High school is Willow. You have never had the pleasure of having other girls.,” Tommy pointed out.
“And what about Willow? Didn’t you say that she gives you shit about giving her flowers or poetry.
Most girls would revel in that sort of attention.
Why doesn’t she? Maybe she is feeling like it’s not time to settle down.
Maybe she has second thoughts. Maybe she wants to experience other guys before she gets married,” Tommy suggests.
I want to scream. I want to yell. I want to tell Tommy to shut the fuck up. But what he has to say is a valid point of view. Truth is that I have been thinking similar things since last night.
By 10pm I am sloppy drunk and have to take a taxi home to my condo. I am torn with indecision. Do I really want to marry Willow? Is she even the girl I have thought that she was? It doesn’t feel like it.
Tommy had a real good point when he said that most girls would revel in the type of attention that I try to give Willow. Why does Willow shy away from that? I am really confused.
I was just about to crawl into bed to so to sleep when I got a call on my cell phone. Deep inside I was hoping it was Willow.
Rachel: Hello Jack. This is Rachel.
Jack: Rachel? What is this about. Is something wrong with Willow?
Rachel: Willow is okay but I can’t say there is nothing wrong.
Jack: What-what do you mean by that?
Rachel: Look, this is something that we should talk face to face about. Could we meet somewhere tomorrow?
Jack: Meet me at Junior Burger at noon.
I feel a ball of tension in my stomach and a tightness in my chest as I crawl into bed. Thanks to the alcohol, I am out within moments.