Chapter Seventeen
Everything was blurry. Blood had rushed to my head.
‘I’m so sorry, Kat. I shouldn’t have brought them here. I didn’t think – I’m sorry.’ Brian’s arms came around my shoulders, holding me close.
‘Red.’ A gruff voice came from somewhere behind me. I knew exactly who it was. But for once, I didn’t have the bandwidth to acknowledge him. I was concentrating on my breath.
‘Shall we step out for some fresh air?’ Liam asked, his voice light.
I rose from my seat, suddenly aware of the scene I was causing. Embarrassment rolled through me. I collected the documents, my tears hitting the folder. I suddenly became desperate for any chance to escape any onlookers.
Liam gave me that, like an outstretched hand.
I glanced up at him, and his eyes met mine, his eyebrows pinched. His gaze dropped to the plans.
‘I’ll take care of these,’ he said, and his hand brushed mine. I followed Liam through the side door into a small courtyard with wooden tables and chairs. It was chilly but not raining, thankfully.
Liam shrugged off his coat and handed it to me.
‘I’m fine –’
‘Don’t argue with me.’
I took his coat and put my arms through it. It was warm and smelt like cedar and musk. It was nice. I sat down at one of the tables, feeling numb.
‘Wait here a minute,’ Liam announced and went back inside.
A few moments later, he came out with a Guinness and what looked like a Coke and popped them on the wooden table in front of us.
‘I figured you could do with a pint.’
‘Do you mind?’ I was suddenly aware I’d never asked if he was okay with being around people drinking.
Liam nodded. ‘Oh yeah, don’t worry, I’m fine. I – I don’t think I’d call myself a recovering alcoholic. I didn’t like the person I was when I drank.’
I sensed there was a bit more detail than that.
‘Have you ever Split the G?’ Liam nodded at the pint.
I shook my head.
‘In one sip, you have to drink so that the line hits right there.’ He pointed to the G on the Guinness logo. ‘Go on, give it a go.’
I took a big sip, put my glass down and waited for the swirling brown liquid to settle. The dark line of the stout was bang-on aligned with the curve of the letter G.
‘Beginner’s luck.’ Liam smiled at me. It was the first proper smile I’d seen on his face, and it felt like an offering. Tentative and sweet. It started a buzzing in my chest, and I couldn’t help but look at his mouth. He had straight, white teeth framed by full lips.
‘I’ll take beginner’s luck.’ I smiled.
Like a switch, Liam’s face turned grave, and I instantly missed the warmth of that smile.
‘About what Brian brought you.’
My stomach sank. Liam had distracted me. I’d almost forgotten why we’d come out here.
Liam held his hands up. ‘You don’t have to tell me if it’s private.’
I shifted my glass and ran my fingers over the ridges of the Guinness logo. ‘It’s okay. They are my dad’s plans for the house. He sketched them himself before he passed.’ I passed them to Liam, giving him permission to have a look.
Liam opened them, and his eyes widened. ‘He drew these? They’re incredible.’
My leg shook under the table. ‘He was a talented artist when he wanted to be. He didn’t get to do it much, though. There wasn’t much of an option to be an artist when he was younger. His family didn’t have money, so he needed to go into a profession. He became a mechanic.’
Liam frowned.
‘Yeah, I know. Artist and mechanic don’t add up. He owned a garage in Reading, but it closed when the financial crash hit in ’08. I didn’t really get the whole story because I was young, and I think my parents were trying to shield me from it.’
‘So then he decided to do up houses?’
I swallowed a sip of Guinness. ‘I think it was his way of being creative in a practical way. He could put together designs, and he had a great skill set, which meant he didn’t need to bring a lot of tradesmen in, apart from some electrical stuff.’
If I was honest, I didn’t fully know what my dad did or didn’t do on his renovation projects.
On the rare occasion we would talk over the phone every few months, he never divulged much information apart from where he was in the country and what he was having for tea.
Panic bubbled up inside me when I thought about how clueless I was.
My dad had these plans drawn, and I could barely knock the plaster off walls without supervision.
According to Liam, at least.
‘Dad had more ambitious plans than me. I can’t afford to do this’ – I pointed at the plans – ‘and turn a profit once I sell.’
‘Let me look,’ Liam said, reaching for the plans.
I watched his dark eyes scan over the paper; his eyes widened when he read my name.
The realisation that Dad had made the plans for me.
I should have felt exposed, divulging that information to someone I’d only known a week, but something about Liam’s way made me feel comfortable.
I knew he wouldn’t try to make me feel better with useless words.
He would listen and I’d never had anyone listen.
‘I mean, we could,’ Liam said. ‘But if you are moving back –’ He glanced up at me as if it was a question.
‘I’m moving back.’
Liam glanced away, a shadow flitting over his face. Then, he nodded. ‘You don’t want to overspend.’
‘It’s fine. We’ll continue with the plan we made. I’m happy with it.’ I forced a smile, only slightly disappointed. If not for my dad, then for me. Because I had to admit they were bigger and better than my more modest approach.
Liam tilted his head. ‘The plan we made is solid. You’ll be guaranteed a return.’
‘Fine. We keep it as is,’ I said, only a tinge of disappointment entering my voice.
I picked up the folder and took the plans out again, running my hand over the sketches. I could feel where my dad’s pencil had made grooves, and the watercolours had dried on the paper.
‘Kat?’ I heard my uncle call out from the side door of the club.
‘Out here, Brian,’ Liam called into the dark.
‘Ay up, you two.’ My uncle sat beside Liam, struggling slightly to pull his leg over the bench.
‘Alright, old man?’ Liam grinned.
‘Oi, you. You’re not too old for a good hiding, you know.’ Brian rubbed Liam’s head, messing up his hair. There was a relaxed, natural rapport between them, which made my heart hurt.
‘Kat, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought the plans here. I –’ He stuttered, looking completely overwhelmed.
‘Brian, don’t worry.’
‘I didn’t think you’d get upset.’ He cringed, and I wanted to laugh. In my experience, men of a certain age were oblivious to feelings. ‘If it helps, Sandra’s given me an earful in the middle of the club.’
The image of my auntie giving Brian a bollocking in front of everyone made me laugh.
‘It’s okay, honestly. I think being here, well, it’s just dug some things up.’
Brian nodded. Liam was watching me intently. It felt reassuring to have him here. It was weird that I’d been here about a week and felt more comfortable around Liam than with my uncle. Even if I thought Liam was still a bit… skittish around me.
‘I’m sorry, love,’ Brian said, reaching his hand over to mine.
I knew my uncle was always kind and warm whenever I’d seen him, but I’d clung to the idea that they ‘sided’ with my dad throughout my life.
They’d never tried to see me, so they must be the bad guys.
My auntie and uncle were slowly chipping away at my resolve to keep a distance.
‘We don’t think we’ll be able to follow Dad’s plans,’ I said, glancing at Liam.
‘That’s fine. He wouldn’t have wanted them to be a burden. But keep the plans, Kat. You might buy a house someday and want some inspiration,’ Brian said, a hopeful tone in his voice.
I nodded.
A hand came over mine; this time, it was large and calloused. Liam’s eyes met mine with a silent message.
Do you want to head back?
I gave a little shake of my head. I’m fine.
Are you sure?
‘When you’re ready, I can drop you back to the house if you want, Kat.’ Brian’s gaze flitted between me and Liam. ‘I haven’t seen it in years. It would be nice to see it again.’
I froze, unsure what to say. Brian didn’t know I was staying at Liam’s place.
‘She’s staying at mine, Brian,’ Liam said. ‘In the annexe,’ he clarified quickly.
Brian’s gaze shifted between Liam and me. ‘Oh, I didn’t realise.’
‘The house needed gutting completely, so Liam offered me the annexe to stay,’ I explained.
Brian frowned. ‘You could have stayed with us, Kat. You should have asked. We’re here to help if you need it.’
Liam gave me a look as if to say, See, I told you so, which made me want to stick my tongue out at him.
Despite Brian’s offer, I still felt weird about staying with them.
I didn’t want to look at Brian’s familiar body language and expressions daily and be reminded of my dad. Of all that complicated pain and grief.
But then again, I was imposing on Liam. And he didn’t owe me anything. So, I should probably take Brian up on the offer, even if it made me feel icky.
‘Well, if you’re sure –’ I began.
‘She has her own space at mine,’ Liam interrupted. ‘Right, Red?’
‘Well, yeah,’ I said uselessly.
Brian looked at Liam, his head cocked for a moment, then turned to me. ‘Well, the offer is always there. You know Sandra is still distraught from Lydia moving out.’
Liam huffed. ‘That was six years ago.’
Brian shrugged. ‘It might as well be yesterday to Sandra. Speaking of, I better go and grovel. I’ll see you two later.’
Brian clapped a hand on Liam’s shoulders as he stood up.
Once he was gone, I piped up, ‘You didn’t have to do that. I can take Brian and Sandra up on their offer if I’m imposing.’
‘You didn’t see your face.’ Liam shook his head. ‘No one should be uncomfortable where they live, even for a few weeks. Nothing is worse than having to tiptoe around someone else’s place. I get it. The annexe means you have your own space.’
‘To leave my socks on the bathroom floor.’
‘As long as it’s only socks.’ Liam’s eyes flickered with humour.
‘Erm, excuse me. I’m very tidy.’
‘Sure, sure. I’ll believe it when I see it.’
It struck me then how generous and open Liam was being with someone who was basically a stranger to him.
‘Why are you so generous?’
‘I’m repenting, remember? Plus, you’re entertaining.
’ He shrugged, but then he held my gaze.
His eyes flickered around my face, cheeks, eyes.
My stomach swooped. I hated that my body reacted funny when he looked at me like that.
I was sure this stupid crush was one-sided, so it was pointless getting all hot and bothered over a single look.
‘I like having you around,’ Liam said, his voice low, and warmth spread through my chest.
‘You like having me around,’ I repeated, a bit high from his admission. My face broke into a grin. ‘You like me. Oh my god.’ I gasped and raised my voice. ‘Liam Hunter likes me!’
Liam’s lips twitched, and he rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, all right, all right. Don’t get big-headed.’
I smiled wider. ‘But you like having my big head around.’
‘I should never have said that.’
I laughed and sipped my pint, trying to hide my smile.