Chapter Twenty-Nine
‘What the fuck!’ I squealed as I ran over to Willa, pulling her into a hug.
Willa smelt like her rose perfume. Rich and heady.
‘Hey,’ Willa said. ‘Surprise.’
I pulled back to survey my best friend. Her platinum-blonde hair was straightened to perfection. Light touches of make-up framed her pale skin and bright blue eyes. She had her usual expression on her face – schooled and a little cold.
A bad bitch.
My heart burst – a piece of home, just for me.
‘How did you get here? Why are you here? How did you know where I’d be?’
‘I came up on the train.’ She angled her head to Liam. ‘He suggested it would be best to take public transport, despite my aversion.’
I angled my eyebrow. ‘Did you book First Class?’
Willa’s eyes shifted away. ‘Maybe.’
I shook my head. ‘Posh bitch.’
‘I’ve got a brand to maintain.’
I shifted back towards Liam. ‘Willa, this is Liam. Liam, Willa.’
Willa scanned Liam, assessing. ‘We’ve spoken.’
‘I emailed Willa. Asked her to come up for your birthday.’
‘Yes,’ Willa said, her lips rising at the corners. ‘He emailed work, and he was very… insistent. Obviously, I was going to say yes. I was going to point out that I’d invited myself several times. But I didn’t get a chance because he had a very compelling speech prepared.’
I turned to Liam. ‘A speech?’
Liam shifted on his feet. ‘Well, I know how hard it is to get Londoners past the Watford Gap.’
My heart squeezed.
I beamed. ‘Thank you, Liam.’
Liam blushed. Actually blushed. ‘Don’t mention it.’
‘I am going to mention it. This is the best gift ever.’ I slapped my hands on either side of Willa’s face. ‘I’m so excited to show you around. I can show you the house!’
‘Can you let go?’ Willa said, her speech muffled.
I pulled her into another hard hug. She said she hated public displays of affection, but I was one of the rare approved people.
Liam said, ‘I thought we could look around the market. I’ve made you a cheese board for later. I got some wine in. I will be out with Abi, so you two can catch up. I’m taking her to see the latest Marvel film.’
I squeezed Liam’s hand. My eyes threatened to well up. He’d thought of everything. He was willing to give me space to hang out with my best friend.
‘Thank you,’ I murmured, filled with gratitude.
I turned to Willa. She was staring at Liam and me with morbid fascination. I dropped Liam’s hand and felt him tense beside me. I glanced up at him, but I found his resting bitch face firmly in place.
Fuck.
I didn’t want to hurt him, but I couldn’t deny that I was struggling with this.
This was not casual. None of this was casual.
I’d been lulled into a false sense of security in Everly Heath.
But with Willa here, someone from my old life, I felt on display.
I wanted to blame it on Liam and send my walls swinging back up, but it was my fault, too.
I felt comfortable next to him. I felt loved and seen and looked after.
I was down bad, too.
*
‘So, are we going to talk about it, then?’ Willa cocked an eyebrow as we sat watching Clueless and sipping the Sauvignon Blanc Liam had left us in the fridge.
I’d tried to distract Willa all day to avoid this conversation.
I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t ready to face it yet – not for the questions that Willa would ask me bluntly.
We’d walked through the markets, looking at each stall in detail.
We’d gone for a drink at the club, and I’d introduced her to Sandra and Brian, who were having a pint of lager.
I’d even introduced her to Peter, who’d grunted in welcome.
With Liam gone, we’d got a cab to the house, and I’d shown her the progress on the renovation.
I’d watched Willa’s face as she’d looked around, nodding, and I nervously repeated that it wasn’t finished yet.
I ignored her comment, leaned forward, picked up a piece of Parma ham, and threw it in my mouth. I chewed slowly, trying to focus on the salty taste.
‘That man is half in love with you,’ Willa said, sipping her wine.
I choked. ‘No, he’s not.’
‘Kat,’ she said, her tone flat. ‘Don’t pretend you don’t see it, too. I know you do. You’re lying to yourself.’
‘I’m not… I know he cares about me. But we’ve agreed to keep it casual.’
Willa scoffed. ‘It’s more than that. I watched him today.
He pays attention to you, anticipates what you need, but gives you space at the same time.
I mean, what man would pay for their best friend to come up from London, First Class, if they weren’t in love with them.
’ Willa threw some pepperoni in her mouth.
‘He paid?’
‘Yep. He didn’t blink an eyelid about the cost. He just said he would send me the ticket.
I was sure he would flake –’ Willa looked away, and I knew she was thinking about all the times fuck-face John had let her down.
Promised her the world on a string, then bailed.
‘The tickets came through ten minutes later.’
‘I mentioned I missed you.’
‘And then he emailed me, begging for me to come up here.’
‘I doubt he begged. Liam doesn’t beg.’
Willa held out her phone. ‘Do you want to see the email?’
‘No,’ I said too quickly.
Willa shook her head. ‘Only you would be like this.’
‘Like what?’
‘All avoidant.’
‘I’m not avoiding.’ I stood up, needing to move.
‘Yes, you are.’
‘Willa,’ I moaned. ‘I need you to tell me everything is okay. Everything is fine and normal. Nothing has changed.’
Willa nodded. ‘I can tell you that. But it won’t make it the truth.’ Willa patted the sofa next to her. ‘Come on, tell me what’s got you so stressed.’
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
‘I like him. A lot.’
‘Yep, that much is obvious.’
‘Stop it. I like him. And we… we’ve been doing some stuff. We kissed. Amongst other things.’
Willa snorted. ‘That much is obvious, too.’
I could feel my cheeks burn. ‘No, it isn’t. No one knows.’
‘Babes,’ Willa said. ‘Liam looks like the cat that got the cream when he looks at you. Like you’re edible. It’s ridiculous.’
‘You’re being ridiculous,’ I said childishly. ‘And I do like him, and I know he likes me. But I’m moving back, you know that.’ I raised my hands. ‘I mean, I’ve got a month left.’
‘Two weeks,’ Willa said, inspecting her nails.
‘No, four weeks.’
Willa glanced up. ‘Two. Think about it.’
Oh. It was my birthday tomorrow.
‘Fuck,’ I shouted.
How had it gone that quickly?
Liam was almost done installing the boring white tiles in the bathroom, but the kitchen was nowhere near finished. I’d have to move back soon.
‘Indeed. So what are you going to do?’
‘What do you mean? I have no choice. I’ve got to come back to work.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘Yes, I do. I need to come back because you need me.’ I glanced at Willa. ‘Right?’
‘I’d be lying if I didn’t need the help at work.’ Willa bit her lip. ‘But my dad is becoming a bit more involved with the day-to-day of Horizon.’
I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was Willa’s worst nightmare. Willa had a great relationship with her dad but was overly eager to please him. It would have been a low point to ask for his help. Or worse, he interfered after discovering how bad the situation was.
Willa downed the last of her wine.
‘I’m sorry, Wills.’
‘It’s a good thing. Dad and I will strategise a new approach to keeping existing clients, at the very least.’ Willa smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
‘I can help. I want to help.’
‘How?’ Willa cocked an eyebrow. ‘Are you going to hand out more chewed gum? Maybe this time, you could do used tissues, too.’
I gave her a flat look. ‘Cow.’
Willa’s lips twitched, and then her face grew serious.
‘You are your own person, Kat. You can hand in your notice right now if you want.’ Willa’s eyes were soft.
‘Or if you want, you can come back. But don’t pretend I’m the big bad wolf.
I will not make this easier for you by ordering you home.
It’s your choice. And for the record. This is the best I’ve seen you in years. You look brighter. Happier.’
It was like a foot had been removed from my chest.
‘Thanks, Wills.’ My eyes began to water.
‘No, no. None of that, please.’ Willa waved her hand at my face, and I laughed. Willa was allergic to tears. She was repressed as fuck.
‘Okay, okay. I won’t cry. Stop saying cute shit.’ I swiped a finger under my eye.
‘So, now that we’ve cleared that up, what will you do? Stay here?’
‘I don’t know, Wills. I was so set on coming back.
But slowly but surely, this place has got under my skin.
Mum always made it out like it was the Dark Ages up here.
She said that everyone was backward and nosy.
They are definitely nosy, but it’s just because they look after their own. It’s a real community.’
Willa wrinkled her nose. ‘Couldn’t think of anything worse.’
I laughed. ‘I thought so, too. But it’s actually kind of nice.
My aunt and uncle have been great, too. Mum made out that they wouldn’t care about me, that they took Dad’s side in the divorce.
But I don’t think that’s true. Sandra and Brian have been nothing but nice.
’ I sighed, rubbing my eyes. ‘The problem is, Mum doesn’t even know I’m here.
So if I announce that I’m moving here, it’s going to be a big shock. Huge.’
Willa squeaked. ‘You didn’t tell her?’
‘I bottled it. She’s called a few times, but I told her I was really busy with work. I don’t know how much longer –’
Willa’s face had gone pale. ‘Kat –’
My face dropped.
‘I didn’t know you didn’t tell her. She called me at work yesterday because she wanted to speak to you, and I mentioned how I was coming up here to visit.
’ Willa clapped a hand over her mouth. ‘I’m so sorry.
’ Then, Willa whacked me on the arm. ‘You should have told me!’ She whacked me again, harder.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Stop hitting me.’
Willa relented and said, ‘I would have kept it a secret if you’d told me, you twat.’
I gave a sad laugh. ‘I know, I’m sorry. Don’t worry. It’s my fault. I should have told her by now.’
I checked my phone. Nothing from Mum. No missed calls. Not even a text.
Dread sat low in my chest.
‘I should have faced it sooner, but you know when I have something big I don’t want to face –’
‘You hide.’
‘Yep.’
‘Can’t hide from Paula. It’s impossible.’
‘I know. I just wanted to do something myself.’ I picked up my drink and took a sip. ‘I think it’s helped. Having some space from her. I haven’t been doubting myself as much.’
Willa nodded. ‘Make sense.’
None of this was a shock to Willa, so I took a deep breath in and delivered the final blow.
I jumped.
‘I’m not coming back to work at Horizon, Willa.
I think –’ I paused, trying to push the words out.
‘I want to move here. Permanently. And not just because I like Liam and want to see where it goes.’ The next bit came out fast, the words flowing out of me.
‘But because I actually really want to become an interior designer. I’d like to open my own shop, and I think I could do that here.
I couldn’t afford to take the leap in London.
Here, I could. Dad’s house is paid off, so I wouldn’t need to pay rent or a mortgage.
I’ve been looking at some courses on Open University.
I know it’s rogue, and impulsive, and probably irresponsible –’
‘Hey, hey. Take a breath.’
I took a few deep breaths. I peeked at Willa, trying to gauge her reaction. Her brow was furrowed, but she nodded.
Finally, Willa spoke. ‘I think this sounds great.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
She had a small smile on her face. ‘Actually, I think this is the best idea you’ve had in a long time. You and I both know you’ve been phoning it in at work. You’re lucky that you’re such a good designer, or I’d have kicked your arse to the kerb by now.’
A hysterical giggle burst out of me.
Willa nodded. ‘I think a new start, a new project, would be good for you.’
‘But what if I change my mind? Or what if it fails, Wills? I couldn’t face Mum’s face if I come crawling back to her, with my tail between my legs.’
Willa’s lips went into a flat line. ‘No risk, no reward, babes. Them the rules, I’m afraid.’
I bit my lip. I’d been so unhappy at work. For over a year, if I was being honest with myself. Even before Dad died, I’d become restless. It was like I had a persistent shaking leg that wouldn’t stop, even if I placed my hand on it and pushed it down.
I thought about all my side hustles, the candle making and the calligraphy. What if all those failed projects were leading here?
‘Right,’ Willa said with a clap of her hands. ‘If we’re going to do this. Let’s make it happen. Get your laptop out. We’re putting together a business plan, bitch.’
I couldn’t hold back the answering smile from breaking across my face.
*
It was dark when I felt strong arms come around under my legs and my neck. Someone… someone was carrying me. I was pressed against a hard chest.
‘Do you need anything?’ a male voice whispered. ‘The annexe is open.’
‘No, I’m good,’ a woman whispered back. ‘She seems happy here, Liam.’
‘I think she is. I hope she is. She deserves to be,’ the man whispered back.
Liam.
My fuzzy brain began to wake. Willa. Liam. After Willa and I had drafted a business plan, I fell asleep before I saw the end of Clueless.
‘You better take care of her,’ Willa said, a warning in her voice.
‘I will,’ Liam replied. I could hear the soft smile in his voice. ‘I’d do anything for her. You should know that.’
‘Good.’
I drifted off and woke again as Liam lay me on his bed, giving me a light kiss on my forehead. I tried to wake up. I tried to move. I tried to cuddle into him, but I felt so heavy. So, instead, I snuggled deeper into the sheets, and those strong arms came around me anyway.