Chapter Thirty-Two
Liam – To Do
Book Franks
Call Olivia at Manchester Art Gallery
Pick up Kat’s dress
‘White or grey?’ Liam asked, holding up the two bags of grout.
My brain swirled, and I was thinking about a million things, and none of them were the grout colour for the bathroom.
Liam had fixed a half wall of tiles around the whole bathroom, white subway tiles on the walls and up the shower enclosure.
The light from the south-facing window reflected off them, sending white light around the room.
It was too bright.
It was clinical.
More importantly, it was boring.
I chewed at my lip. This had been my choice. I could have done something more elaborate, but I didn’t. I chose to be practical, and this bathroom was practical. It was inoffensive.
And I fucking hated it.
‘Kat.’ Liam frowned.
I shook my head. ‘Sorry. Yes.’
‘Grey or white? Or I can get some other colours if you want.’
As Willa would say, I was fresh out of fucks to give.
I was pissed off with the boring white tiles.
I was pissed off with my mum. The latter, I had chosen to ignore for the time being.
On the drive back on Sunday, I told Liam what Brian had shared.
Once we were parked in his driveway, the floodlights illuminating our faces, he’d pulled me into a long hug while a few tears escaped down my cheeks.
Since then, three days had passed, and I’d moved through them in a daze.
A low level of anxiety hummed. I was unable to concentrate on anything.
I was flitting from task to task, each unfinished.
Even when I was at home with Liam, I was somewhere else.
Ruminating over what to do about my job, the new career I desperately wanted to explore and the growing feeling that Everly Heath was home.
I knew Liam had noticed, but he hadn’t mentioned anything.
He showed up with gentle touches to my cheeks, bringing me back into my body, into the present.
He cooked me food and kept my water topped up.
He pulled me into his chest at night, neither of us mentioning that the annexe was outside, unoccupied.
‘You choose,’ I said, turning back to the bedrooms.
The carpets were going in this week, and I wasn’t particularly excited. I was thankful they weren’t grey.
‘Red,’ Liam said, his voice following behind me. I kept my gaze away from him, worried he’d read the misery on my face. His hand came up and cupped my neck, and he planted a kiss on my forehead.
‘Talk to me.’
I sighed into the contact, some of my residual anxiety running out of me.
‘I fucking hate the white tiles,’ I started. ‘And I know that is stupid because I picked them, and you took ages tiling, but I hate them. They are too white, and it’s too bright in there.’ I raised my hands. ‘It’s boring. Nothing like what I designed. And I hate it.’
Silence.
I finally looked up to find Liam holding back a laugh.
‘What?’ I asked, exasperated.
‘That’s all? The tiles?’ He lifted my head to look at him. ‘I’ll take them down right now if you want. I’ll go pick up the ones you want.’
I ran a hand across my face. ‘No – those tiles are fine. It’s not what I imagined, and I knew that would happen. But I didn’t prepare myself to see it. To see all of it and be underwhelmed.’
I glanced around the house at the inoffensive white walls and the bare alcoves.
I’d wanted to pay a carpenter to install some fitted wardrobes before I realised I’d be spending the money on someone else.
My clothes wouldn’t be thrown in in a manic hour of tidying before company came over.
No, the person who bought this house would probably be all ordered and fold their clothes into perfect squares.
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe I was becoming resentful of a fictional person.
‘Do you want me to take them down?’ Liam asked, and my head whipped up.
He wasn’t joking. He had his serious face on.
He’d spent a whole day tiling that bathroom.
‘I’ve got a hammer. I can start taking them down now.
I’ll go to the shop now and order the other ones.
’ I could see the cogs turning in his brain.
‘It won’t set us back many days. I can move on to the kitchen. ’
‘No,’ I said, my hand linking with his. ‘Thank you, but no. I’m being stupid. Childish. This is me banging my feet on the floor. It’s a tantrum.’
Liam’s lips twitched. ‘I’m familiar.’
‘Hey! I’m not that bad.’
Liam pulled me into his chest. ‘I told you before. Anything you want, Kat. Anything. I’ll make it happen. You know that, right?’
I planted my head against his chest, breathing him in.
He did make it better. Just breathing in his scent and hearing his steady heartbeat.
I supposed that was our dynamic. I was hectic and overemotional, while Liam was steady and rational.
We stood there for a few more moments as some of the anxiety dripped away.
Liam kept telling me, through his actions, that he was invested in this relationship, and all I’d done was insist we keep it casual.
I’d never had someone so committed to me before, and it was scary.
He was so certain of my vision and what I could do.
It made me feel invincible and powerful.
I wanted to feel like that all the time.
‘I was thinking of staying, Liam,’ I said in a small voice. I didn’t lift my head. I kept my face in his chest. ‘In Everly Heath. I’m thinking of staying.’
Liam stilled.
‘You –’ Liam stuttered. ‘You want to stay. Here.’
‘I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.
I spoke to Willa about it, and she didn’t die of shock.
She seemed to think it was a good idea, actually.
I’m still worried about Mum. She’s going to think I’ve gone mad.
She’ll try to convince me out of it; I know she will.
She knows I’m here. Willa accidentally told her last week, so I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
’ Liam’s hand moved over my back in circles.
‘After what Brian told me –’ Anger and indignation rose in my chest, burning bright.
Liam’s other hand came up to my hair. He kissed the top of my head.
‘But I’m scared, Liam. Really scared. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but this is big for me. Moving up here after a couple of months. I’m scared I’ll turn into my dad and bolt, and I don’t want to hurt you.’
Liam’s voice was hoarse. ‘Okay, okay.’
‘What if I fuck all of this up? What if I move up here and then change my mind? What if I throw away a good job, working with my best friend every day for some pipe dream of building something myself?’ My voice grew high-pitched.
‘Okay.’ Liam’s voice was calm and solid, his hand still moving against my lower back. His heartbeat had sped up, just a bit. ‘You’re being brave, Red. I’m proud of you. But all of this is a lot to process. For anyone. So don’t make any decisions yet.’
My heart sank. He didn’t want me to stay.
Liam lifted my head with his thumb and forefinger.
‘Don’t work yourself up. Let’s take some time for ourselves, just you and me.’
‘We can’t – we have to finish here.’ I gestured around the half-finished room. ‘Even if I decide to move up here, we still need to finish this place.’
‘Easy.’ Liam’s hands ran up my arms. ‘You’re thinking about moving up here, so why don’t you let me show you the reasons to stay?’
My brow furrowed, but my mouth quirked. ‘What do you mean?’
A bright smile took over his face. I loved it when he smiled like that, like all his defences were down. ‘Give me one day, and I’ll convince you it’s best to stay. Some courage to face your mum. Who sounds terrifying, by the way. Can’t wait to meet her.’
I gave a snort and Liam lifted his pinkie finger in front of me.
‘Deal?’
‘Deal.’
Our pinkie fingers interlocked.
*
Liam’s cedar cologne enveloped me. Warmth rolled off him in waves as we stood close. He trailed his hand up my arm, up and down, driving me mad. The train doors opened, and people shuffled to the door. Liam pulled me closer into his chest, out of the way.
My heart still raced to be this close to him.
I still woke up craving his rough palms on my skin.
The smell of his skin still drove me wild.
I glanced up at Liam to find him smirking down at me, like he knew what was on my mind.
Smug bastard. He lifted my chin with his thumb and forefinger, placing a soft but insistent kiss on my lips.
I tried to kiss him with more fervour, but he pulled back.
‘Behave,’ he hushed in my ear, making me grunt with annoyance, only making him smile wider.
It was only yesterday Liam promised to give me reasons to stay in Everly Heath, and he moved fast. This morning, he came into our bedroom with flowers and a tray of fruit and pastries.
After we finished eating, Liam ate me. He grinned as I came, moaning his name, which will be etched into my mind forever.
Once I came down from the high, he swatted away my hand and jumped out of bed in an effort to distract me.
‘I got you something,’ Liam said as he turned to his wardrobe.
The wardrobe that some of my clothes had sneaked their way into.
I didn’t know who I was trying to kid with this ‘keeping it casual’ shit.
All my stuff had invaded Liam’s house. Liam had tried to collect the rest of my stuff from the annexe, but I had insisted it was fine.
So my luggage sat in the annexe, like bringing them into Liam’s house symbolised something permanent.
Liam opened his wardrobe and pulled out the most beautiful emerald-green dress I’d ever seen.
It nipped in at the waist, had balloon sleeves, and a swishy skirt I could imagine would be a lot of fun on a dance floor.
I jumped out of bed, running my hand across the silky fabric.
It also had an open back, which would look great if I styled my hair up.
‘Sandra helped me pick this out,’ Liam said, a blush running up his cheeks. ‘Since Mum died, well, I guess I haven’t had many role models when it comes to women’s clothes. Abi won’t let me pick anything out for her. If you hate it –’
My nose stung. God, he was so adorable. I couldn’t remember a time a man had ever bought anything for me. To be fair, I don’t think I let them close enough to allow it.
‘I love it, Liam. Thank you.’
His shoulders dropped.
‘I thought the colour would look beautiful on you, and you could wear it today,’ he said. ‘It’s supposed to be warm, so you shouldn’t be cold.’
‘You know’ – I smirked – ‘you’re incredibly thoughtful underneath that resting bitch face.’
Liam grinned. ‘You’re going to get it now, Red.’
He threw me on the bed, tickling me so much that my chest hurt with laughter.
*
The train pulled into Manchester Piccadilly, and Liam grabbed my hand, speed-walking through the crowds.
It was only a Thursday, but the station was packed.
Outside, the weather was overcast, the odd ray of sun peeking through the clouds.
I followed the natural flow of people, but Liam pulled me back.
‘We’re not going that way. That way is Piccadilly Gardens, and we do not want to go there.
’ He laughed dryly. ‘Not the best impression of Manchester, trust me.’
Liam walked us over a bridge and past some tall buildings, all glass and steel. We followed the tramlines and took the back streets until we stood in front of a Grecian-inspired building with huge stone pillars. The sign read MANCHESTER ART GALLERY, and I was like a bottle of pop, shaken up.
Liam looked over at me, reading my reaction. ‘You said you liked London for the art galleries.’
‘When –’ I frowned, and then I realised it had been when we were standing in the social club kitchen, side by side, preparing sandwiches. It had been such an offhand comment – I hadn’t expected Liam to remember.
He bumped my shoulder. ‘You’ll have to go easy on me. I don’t know anything about this.’
I grinned. ‘I can show you.’
We pushed through the double doors to find a woman standing in the foyer. She had pink streaks running through her grey hair and wore a red plaid wrap skirt. Her ice-blue eyes were behind oversized red glasses. Suddenly, I felt incredibly uncool.
‘Olivia?’ Liam asked, extending his hand.
Olivia smiled and shook it. ‘Lovely to meet you. As I mentioned over email, you have the place to yourselves for two hours.’
Liam nodded. ‘Perfect.’
I turned to Liam, gaping. He scratched his head. ‘Well, the thing is… I booked out the gallery.’
‘You booked out the entire gallery.’
‘Yes.’
‘Liam.’ My heart began to race.
This was too much.
My feet were beginning to itch.
‘Can we have a minute before the tour?’ Liam asked.
‘Sure,’ Olivia said. ‘I’ll be in Gallery One.’
‘Hey’ – Liam turned my shoulders to face him once Olivia was out of earshot – ‘what’s up?’
‘This is too much. I – no one has ever done anything like this before.’
Liam shrugged. ‘Well, they should have.’
I squeaked. I couldn’t look anywhere at him. I couldn’t admit that I’d never felt deserving of anything like this. I’d kept the men I’d dated an arm’s length because, ultimately, I was scared. I was scared I would get attached and they’d ruin me.
Liam was entirely capable of ruining me, I was realising now.
‘You’re spiralling.’ Liam lifted my chin to meet his stare. ‘Tell me what you’re thinking.’
I squeezed my eyelids together.
‘Can’t.’
‘Red,’ Liam said softly. ‘We’re better than that. We’re honest with each other, aren’t we? Whatever you tell me, I’m not going anywhere. I keep telling you I’m here. I’m in this.’
I exhaled. ‘No one has ever done anything like this for me. It just feels like a lot. I don’t deserve it.’
Liam’s breath caught. ‘Kat. I want to punch whoever has made you feel like this.’
‘You can’t – he’s dead.’ I laughed meekly. ‘Daddy issues.’
Liam’s lips flattened. ‘I want you to listen to me. Really listen, okay? You deserve this and more. You are worthy. You’re a bright, shining light to everyone around you.
Brian and Sandra adore you. Lydia too. Abi worships the ground you walk on.
And I know you don’t see it. But I do. So let me do what I can to prove it to you.
’ His hand clasped the back of my neck and pressed our foreheads together.
‘I told you yesterday. Don’t think about what is coming. Just be here with me.’
‘Okay.’
‘Okay.’
‘Let’s go.’ Liam smiled and pulled me into the first gallery.