7. Chapter 7 - Layrin
Chapter 7
A fter we discussed everything that happened, the boys immediately went into planning mode. Now that I knew the depths to their manipulations and schemes, it was interesting being on the inside this time, observing how they worked.
I was slowly becoming fascinated with these men. I remembered the boys they were. Young and unrefined, but still able to get impossible things done when they worked together. Now, years later, they worked like a well-oiled machine. Instead of the occasional spat over who did what, they were comfortable in their roles and knew what was needed from each other seamlessly.
Ravi was going to handle my mental training, which would be the last week. He argued that it would be the most taxing, so he needed time to prepare not only the materials but himself. I gave him a wry smile, not really excited for that part of the training.
Rion was going to do the intellectual training. He informed me it would be the most classroom-like subject. We would go through the history of Foedus, all the people I needed to know, as well as familiarize myself with the Foedus systems and programs that most of the kids at my status level already knew how to use. While it might be basic for them, I pretty much only knew how to turn off, update, and work in Microsoft programs. He was going to have his work cut out for him.
That left Roux to handle the physical training, which was no surprise. He gave me an evil grin as he told me how excited he was, promising not to go easy on me, and he expected me to follow his instructions to a T. Grumbling back to him in agreement was the best I could do. He knew how to rub me the wrong way, and while I liked it, I also hated it, which seemed to sum up our relationship.
The more we talked about the expectations of the test and how dangerous it was, the heavier it became. What did this all really mean? After I was trained and passed the tests, what was my role? Was I to become like the guys? Would I be able to kill someone? I didn't know if I could do that.
My hand drifted up, clutching the triangle pendant that had always given me solace, but now… It felt more like a noose. Everything positive in my life was eventually ruined.
Am I really cursed?
Now that I knew that the horrible “accidents” which surrounded me in my high school days were really Roux’s fault, I had begun to believe I was somehow absolved of my black cloud. I’d started to think that the problem wasn't really me… but the more I reflected on my life, I remembered that my bad situations in life weren’t only during those years.
My life had been a collection of misfortune, disappointment, and pain. Everyone who had been close to me or really meant something to me, had either faced their own fair share of bad luck, or ended up dead. Wasn’t that the definition of being a black cloud, the bringer of misfortune?
That soft, cruel voice that followed me all my life broke through. That's why they left you all those years ago. Why you were left all alone in the woods, left to die. You were meant to be alone. Always alone. No one should love you. No one should get close to you. Loneliness and abandonment are the only things to look forward to in your life.
I didn't want to believe those dark thoughts, wanting to rebel against them instead, but with all the facts weighing me down, I was starting to believe them.
My best friend, the first since I was ten years old, had died after going out with me. My whole adult life had been one survival-based decision after another. I was picked on and ridiculed throughout my adolescence. I was raised by a woman who not only abused me but used me, and the people who were supposed to love me, to cherish me, had left me for dead.
Everything had gone wrong, and it all started with my birth—to parents who were apparently a part of this elite group of cutthroat assassins. Did they think I couldn't cut it? Was I not good enough, or did they just not want me?
I jerked away when I felt something touch my hand before a solemn voice said, “We will always want you. Forever and ever if you'll let us.”
Ravi’s hand was on mine, and when I looked up, all three brothers stared at me with the same eyebrows drawn together, their lips pointing down in matching frowns. Fuck. Did I say that out loud?
I pulled my hand back and put it on my lap once my neck and ears heated up, then shrugged. “Sorry, I got lost in thought about something.”
While I was ready to trust them enough to keep me alive, I wasn’t about to spill my heart to them. I’d just barely accepted that they had some pretty intense obsessions for me, expressed in very intense ways, but if I looked beyond the shock of it all, I couldn't deny that I was flattered. I mean who wouldn't be?
When you’d lived all your life being nothing to no one, it made you starve for some kind of attention, any attention. I tried my hardest not to be attracted to boys that I knew were bad for me, but… I couldn’t help the excitement I felt, knowing these boys had thought of me all these years. They had gone to that extent… for me. In the hidden crevices of my mind, the places where those dark thoughts usually lingered, was the frightening desire for more of their attention, more of their obsession. I wanted all of it.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Shaking my head, I reminded myself to think about the here and now. I didn't have time to get caught up in all that misery. The past was the past, and I just needed to survive like I always had. I needed to focus on the next thing. Bottle all that up and let it go. It was what I did best.
Switching gears, I faced Rion before they could attempt to get anything else out of me. “How am I going to do all of this training and my schoolwork?”
He rolled his eyes so far up into his head I thought they would stay up there. “Don’t worry about that. In fact, don’t think about anything else but this. We have a Foedus training facility on campus, so others don’t get suspicious. It's only for the members of the six families and requires a visual, audio, and DNA sample to get in. Your grades will be modified. You’ll be getting all A’s, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
Well, that's handy. I resisted the urge to mumble “rich kids” and shake my head since their privilege was now working in my favor. Wait, if this was all true, was I one of those rich kids now?
“What does it mean to be a part of the Rose family? I don’t understand my role since I'm the only one.”
The guys looked at each other before Rion dispassionately spoke. “There’s not much about the Rose family since the last of the line was killed twenty-one years ago. Most of the heads of the families remember them, but all of us next generation don’t know much. They used to have the United States as their territory before the Ambros family absorbed it, and their banner is covered during the naming ceremony.”
His eyes drilled into mine, trying to tell me something. “I’ll be doing some research on your parents and the Rose family line before training, so I’ll have more answers then.”
“Prepare yourself. Being a Rose might be more trouble than it's worth,” Roux grumbled, side eyeing me like this was all my fault.
“Like I have a choice.” I lifted my hands and shrugged like it was no big deal, trying to hide my trembling hands. “But you all have no one else to blame but yourselves.” An evil smirk sliced across my face. “If you never brought me here, I wouldn’t be on their radar and—”
“And we would hate our lives even more. The end,” Ravi finished with a smile so wide it looked like it hurt.
I let go of my ire at Roux, snorting out a laugh just as my stomach rumbled. Ravi’s chair scraped the tile as he got up. “Let's have a linner feast! Who wants Chinese, French fries, and ice cream?! I do!” He trotted off in typical Ravi fashion, ready to order way too much food, but that was part of his charm.
Rion, Roux, and I sat there, staring at the table. Rion knew that I was logically right, so he was probably thinking of something to say to combat my logic, while Roux sat there slumped and pouting. Then there was me, the queen of shoving horrible dark feelings deep down inside, so I could ignore them.
All of us sat there in silence until my phone rang. After checking the caller ID, I got up. “I’m going to take this in the downstairs office. It’s Cin.”
They nodded, and I turned away, but before I could press the answer button, Rion spoke. “I don’t regret it.” I turned back to face him. “Bringing you here, I mean.” His hands gripped each other on the table, and his shoulders were tense. Despite his obvious discomfort, he kept all his attention on me. “I’ll never regret it. We need you, Rin.”
And I need them.
I kept that thought to myself, not wanting to admit it yet, so I nodded and left the room.
Bringing the phone to my ear, I barked out my anger. “So, tell me, did you plan this from the beginning? Was that why you showed an interest in me?”
A sharp whine came through the phone. “Lay! Of course not!” I exhaled, trying to decide if I believed her. “I promise,” she pleaded. “I didn’t know anything about you possibly being a Rose descendant… at least not until my mom left for the meeting and told me Ambros was already bringing you!” Her voice turned dark. “She doesn't like to let us kids know too much until it's about to happen. I think she knew I would warn you.”
She blurted out more before I could get a word in. “When I met you at orientation, you were one of the only people that didn’t bow down to me. You treated me like a normal person, and I liked it. Then the more time I spent with you the more I found I actually liked you. It's hard to find another smart capable woman that can put up with my crazy.”
A little bit of guilt snuck in beneath her next words. “When things didn’t add up, I figured you were a plant or a spy, so I kept a close watch. I was so glad that I didn't find anything, and then Ambros began sniffing around you. I got a little territorial and wanted to warn you away from him, but it was just jealousy. I’ve never had a normal friend before, and I got greedy.” She went silent for a moment, letting out a harsh breath. “Then my mom asked about you, and I tried not to give her more than basic information that anyone would give, but I accidentally mentioned your necklace. That was when her attention turned to you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that would ruin everything!” She sobbed the last part, and my heart squeezed.
“And that’s not it, Lay…”
Hearing her shaky voice, I knew I wasn't going to like it. “Tell me.”
“You know when I took you to the party?” My heart pounded hard in my chest, but I silently clutched the phone, waiting. “I guess Luca didn't trust me when I said you were clean, so he took it upon himself to… try to get information from you.”
My mouth opened and closed, stunned by what I was hearing, and she rushed out the rest in a sob. “He wasn't trying to hurt you. I promise you that. He feels terrible about it now… but he was the one who drugged you with our family's brand of truth serum.”
I couldn't hold it back now. “Cinzia!”
“I know! I know! I'm so sorry.” Between sobs, she growled, “I ripped him a new one! I told him that there better not be a hair missing from your head or he was going to pay. Once we couldn't find you, we shut down the party. The three of us searched for you everywhere, and when I saw you in our dorm, I was just so happy that you were okay. I didn't think about what else could’ve happened to you.”
Hearing my strong, bitchy friend sob was both satisfying and gut wrenching. I could feel her guilt from across the phone.
“Then, when you thought you could’ve been assaulted, I wanted to burn that fraternity house to the ground. I kept myself together in front of you, but as soon as I got to the Alpha Xi Sigma house, I trashed the whole place. Elio was the only one who could talk me out of burning it to the ground.”
A puff of a laugh escaped my lips at the imagery of a stunned Luca and a nervous Elio, both of them unable to hold a candle to the utter destruction Cin could cause. While I did feel betrayed, I knew that Cin hadn’t drugged me. It wasn't her fault, and with her mother occupying the head seat at Foedus, I could guess how hard it was to make a choice between being a true friend and staying loyal to her family and the group that had raised her.
I sighed, suddenly growing more and more tired of being upset over the past. I just wanted to survive the future. Leaning against the wall, I thought about it as if I were using Rion’s brain. It would be advantageous to have a friend like her on the inside, someone I could talk to outside of the brothers… just in case. The illogical side just wanted to keep our new friend regardless, insisting she would be able to weather being by my side. Cin was strong and capable. She also had her family to back her up.
Her hushed, choked-up voice broke through my thoughts. “I’m so sorry, Layrin. Please. Please believe that I would never harm you.”
Heaving out a breath, I closed my eyes, finally deciding on what I was going to do. “I believe you, Cin.”
“Oh, thank fucking god! Thank you, Lay! You won’t regret it.” I could picture her furiously wiping her tears away with a smile, and it felt good to have my friend back. “But now that you’re a part of Foedus, I don’t have to hide anything from you. That's so exciting!”
Even though she couldn't see me, I smiled. She had a way of causing that, with her peppy attitude. I could admit that I would miss her if I couldn't hang out with her or talk to her. “Yeah. I really don’t like being lied to, so try not to do that to me again, K?
She giggled. “If you were in front of me, I would hug you so hard! No lying. Top of the list!" She paused again, but this time her voice went up an octave. "By the way, where are you?”
“Ha ha. You know I can’t tell you that. Ambros would be pissed.”
She groaned. “Uh, he told you? Who cares, Fuck him!”
I giggled, feeling like myself for the first time in forty-eight hours. God, it had only been that long, but my life had changed so much. “So… I guess you heard I’ll have to take the ‘test’? Do you have any helpful hints for it?”
She got quiet for a second before she answered. “I haven't taken it yet, but I hear it's different for everyone. All I know is that Ambros passed in not only the fastest time frame, but with the least amount of recovery time. All of the heads were massively impressed with him.”
I was a little shocked by the admiration I heard in her voice, and she must have heard it too because she abruptly coughed. “So, yeah. I hate saying this, but he’ll probably be the best teacher to get you through this.” I heard someone in the background calling out to her, their voice faint.
“Shit. I got to go, but we should talk more. I know you're going to be busy with training, but I might pop in every once in a while. Maybe we could get coffee or something?” The desperation in her voice had me giving her a yes. While it was obvious that she just wanted someone to talk to, to connect with, I had the same thoughts. I didn’t want to be alone.
We promised to talk soon before we hung up. I had just opened the door, my stomach so ready for food I was about to raid the pantry, when I spotted the boys huddled around the entrance. I lifted a brow, both annoyed and amused by their antics.
“Is the food here?”
Ravi promptly took a step forward. “Yep, just got here and piping hot.”
I nodded and started walking through the doorway, but Roux grabbed my arm. “What did she say?”
Yanking my hand out of his grasp, I continued into the kitchen, the three of them following me like baby ducks behind their mama. “Nothing that has to do with Foedus, just us.”
I could feel them pause, the three of them drilling holes in the back of my head. When I swiveled around, gearing up to yell at them, they smiled at me like nothing was wrong, even Roux, which was just creepy, but it worked. My anger simmered as my stomach urged me forward. These psychos were always going to be in my business, whether I liked it or not, huh?
The smell of Chinese food wafted up my nose, and I whirled around on the balls of my feet. Their collective breath of relief made a small smile drift across my face. They might hate that I had a person outside of them, but they knew I would definitely fight them about it until I won. Cin was an amazing woman with so many skills, but she was starved for something normal, something that was hers and not her family’s. I also needed someone outside of these men. We were a good fit for each other.
“Let's eat. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to kick my ass.”
Roux smiled, and I knew that our truce would hold for at least tonight. We could always figure our shit out later.