14. Chapter 14 - Layrin
Chapter 14
M y arms and legs refused to work after what Ravi and I had just done.
“Fuck, Rin. You took my damn soul with that one.”
Ravi’s breathless playful voice had me smiling against his arm. What the hell were these boys doing to me? I’d never been this turned on in my life. Even my damn sexual dreams weren’t as steamy as these men in real life.
I laughed, thinking about that amazing orgasm as I joked back. “Just snatching what's mine.”
I hadn’t been thinking much about my words, more about the cock still inside of me, but he lifted my face, his serious eyes searching mine. “You know I’m yours, right? Like forever and ever.” His thumbs caressed my jaw, his lips moving closer to mine. “I would gladly throw my soul at your feet.”
Chuckling again, trying to make light of the situation, I said, “Aww, don't do that. I don't want a dirty soul.”
“Layrin.” His rough voice had my eyes snapping to his. He never called me by my actual name, like never. This was serious.
“I’m sorry.” He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes squeezed shut, his normal smiling lips twisted into a grimace. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Something deep in my gut clenched, and feelings that I thought I’d let go in the name of survival came rushing forward. The burning anger wasn’t there anymore because I had worked that out with Roux. This right here, this hollow feeling left behind now that the anger was gone, was soul-crushing hurt. The betrayal that I never imagined would come from them.
He rushed out, “I know that you're protecting yourself, just pushing through it all to get to the other side, but…” His voice broke, and raw intensity filled his eyes, making it hard to look at him. “It would crush me, all three of us, if you decided to leave us after this. We couldn’t handle something like that, not after we’ve had a taste of you and what it's like to have you here with us. It would be too much. The loss so infinite…”
I was left speechless. I mean, what did you say to something like that? We’ll see? Maybe? Once I can fully trust you again? All of those felt wrong, not because I was scared of hurting him, but more because I was scared of saying something that was a lie.
“I don't expect you to give me an answer now. I know you need time, but…” His hazel eyes drilled into mine, and I was captivated by the multitude of colors that spiraled around. “I would gladly pay any penance for the rest of my life if you would just stay by my side, stay with us. I could take the rest of my days living in hell, receiving the worst punishments, as long as you were the one delivering it.” Like he couldn't help it anymore, he dove into my hair, tangling himself in it like he was trying to mix our very essences.
His tone changed, becoming soft and shaky, like a kid confessing his love for the first time. “I needed you to know I see you, I hear you. I’ll never leave your side, even when our bones turn to dust, so…” He gulped down a breath before he whispered a broken plea. “So don’t leave mine.”
His body was shaking, so I circled my arms around him, hugging him. His declaration and apology cut me to my core, but I didn't make any promises because he was right. I was trying to survive, going into a fuck-it mode just to make it out of this mess alive, but once I passed that stage, was I counting on the guys being there? Was that even possible in this organization? Were the heads of families allowed to co-mingle? If not, I didn't want to set myself up for something that couldn’t happen down the road. Unsure of so much, I offered him what I could be certain of.
Running my hands through his hair, calming him, I said what was in my heart. “Rav, I won't disappear. You will always have me in your life.” Whether it was in the organization or as a couple, I couldn't say.
Untangling himself from me, his lips were turned up in a sweet, placating smile, but his eyes were filled with iron determination. He bent down, giving me a sweet, short kiss of acceptance. I was beginning to notice all these little nuances and cues in their thought processes and how they reacted to things. It was like I was learning more about them by being silent than I ever did when I was talking, but I didn’t want them to know that.
Looking down to hide my smirk, I grimaced when I saw the leaky mess we had made. The inside of my thighs felt like a slip and slide. Shit! Thinking back, I didn't even know I could do something like that. It surprised the shit out of me when I came like that, but I was already so far gone that it hadn’t fully registered at the time.
Huffing, I turned and extended my hand to grab some towels, my fingers just a few inches short of reaching them. Ravi jumped into gear, collecting some for me without me needing to ask. I thanked him, pushed him away from me so I could jump off the counter, and cleaned myself up.
Ravi quickly tucked his half-hard cock back in his pants, and my eyes snagged on the bulge. I gave a small snort of a laugh as I noticed that his pants were drenched in the crotch area. Even with his jeans being black, I could still tell the color difference.
“What?” he asked, and I shook my head as I continued to giggle.
He finally stopped hounding me and looked in the mirror, glancing down before turning to me and pointing at his crotch. “Is this what you’re laughing about?”
I tried not to laugh again, so I rolled my lips into my mouth. A large smile crossed his face. “What? You thought I would be embarrassed?” He put his hands on his hips, almost emphasizing the area. “I’m going to wear this with fucking honor. How many men out there can brag about making their girl squirt, huh?”
My mind stopped, digesting what he’d just said and realizing that there was a whole shop of people outside who must’ve heard what we just did. Embarrassing heat took over my whole body as I dropped into a crouched position and covered my face.
What the fuck were you thinking, Layrin?! Not only did I just have sex in public, but we had loud, raunchy sex. Being mortified didn't even touch what I was feeling.
“Hey, hey, my love. Don’t be embarrassed.” Ravi’s words didn't soothe me since I wanted to die right about now. “It's all Rion’s fault, anyway.”
My head snapped up, and I glared at him. His hands immediately went up in surrender, and he spilled the beans faster than I could get mad. “He was the one who told me to come here… In fact, he demanded it. Then, when I saw you talking with the fuckboy bean counter…” My brows furrowed, not understanding who this fuckboy was. “Well…” He looked a little guilty. “Let's just say I'm a passionate guy. I followed you in here to have a chat, then one thing led to another…”
He trailed off, but not before he shook his head to the side. What the fuck was wrong with him? When he did it again, his eyes following this time, I turned to the wall he was motioning to. All I saw was the paper towel dispenser, and I was about to go off on him when I realized that his phone sat on top in a suspiciously placed manner.
Did he… Did Rion… With eyes wide, I looked to Ravi in question, and he nodded his head vigorously. That fucking dick!
I popped up, stomped over to the wall, and snatched the phone, clutching it to me. Ravi stepped over to me, his head bent toward my chest as he said into the phone, “Liked what you saw? Bet the panties you took from her are all wet right now.”
Did Rion like that? Did he enjoy watching his brother and me? I thought back, realizing that the timing of the vibrations had been too perfect. My chest rose and fell, and any thoughts of embarrassment disappeared like sand in the wind. My body heated, and that familiar urge started up beneath my belly. Did I like that he liked it? Did him watching us turn me on?
Ravi slowly slipped the phone from my fingers, whispering in my ear. “He loved every second of what we just did. He got to see you in all your perfect moments, savoring each detail of how your eyes fluttered and your skin flushed. He got to hear your moans and study the difference in each sound.”
I bit my lip, envisioning Rion sitting at his desk, watching us, watching me, as he pleasured himself. I had to admit, that excited me.
Ravi tucked his phone in his back pocket. “And he got to do that while I did all the work.” His arms snaked around me in an instant, yanking me to his chest as I yelped. “But I fucking loved it, so I’m not complaining.” He bent his head to kiss me just as someone knocked on the door.
A desperate voice called through the door, “Excuse me?! We need to use the restroom!”
His head snapped up so he could glare at the door like he was about to open it and kill whoever had interrupted us. Putting my hands on his chest, I gently pushed, reminding him that I was here. “Hey. Let's get out of here.” I smiled, trying to calm the death in his eyes. We didn't want to cause even more of a scene.
He looked at me, his eyes softening before they shifted back to the door in slits. “What my love wants, she gets.”
We had taken a few steps before I felt that familiar bit of string along my thigh. “Hold on,” I told Ravi before I ran into the stall, gently pulled the vibrator out of my ass, and went to the trash can by the sink.
“I’m done with my punishment. If he wants his toy back, he can fish it out himself.”
Ravi cackled to the sky, swinging his arm around my neck before he unlocked the door. We headed out together.
Ravi and I were standing in front of Rion, who was completely at ease behind his desk, reading something off his laptop. “Are you ready to pick up where we left off?”
Crossing my arms and cocking my hip, I glared at Rion. “You don't have anything to say?” I was trying to act furious with him even though I wasn’t really feeling it. I just didn’t want him to think he could pull a stunt like that on me all the time… even if I did like it.
He sighed and pushed his laptop away before he folded his hands in his lap. “I think everything was said that needed to be.” His eyes slid to Ravi, who was currently mimicking my crossed arms, glaring stance. I didn’t really think he meant it, but he was standing in solidarity with me.
“I’m not talking about Ravi. He has been very forthcoming.” I turned toward him, ran my hand along his chin, and gave him a peck on the lips before turning back to Rion. I thought I had proved my point.
Rion’s glare went from annoyed to menacing as he stood up. “And who was the one trouncing in here every day looking like a fucking goddess that I wasn’t allowed to touch?” He came around his desk to stand right in front of me, towering over me. “Who was stealing glances at my ass while she should've been working?” He took a step even closer, our chests just a hair away from touching, but I didn't budge. I wasn't about to let him intimidate me.
“At least I wasn't acting all aloof and totally unfazed!” His eyes widened, but I kept going. “I also wasn't constantly invading someone’s else’s space, getting in their head, and distracting them all the time!”
The air between us was so electrifying you could practically feel it crackle. His scent enveloped me, and my fingers itched to touch him, to push him over the edge and see this well-put-together man unravel in the best of ways.
He leaned forward, that menacing voice becoming cold as ice. “Do I need to bend you over the desk right now to show you how affected I am? Is that what you need, Layrin?”
My body shook. The fighter inside of me wanted to say bring it, but I had a rational side too, and she was more into results.
“Can I watch?” Ravi shoved his face between ours. “Or join? This,” he waved his finger between us, “seems like it would be super fun.” That broke the staring contest between Rion and me since we both turned to him with matching glares. “Alright!” His hands lifted as he backed away. “Geeze. I can tell when I’m not needed. I can take a hint.”
No, he couldn't. He was standing there, looking like a depressed puppy left out in the cold, begging us not to kick him out. The instinct to scoop him up and nuzzle him was strong.
Rion lifted his hand to his face, running his palm up and down, and I knew he was still feeling the effects of our argument. All I could do was smile on the inside. This wouldn't be my last time rattling his cage.
“Ravi, I need to finish the lesson for today. If you want, you can sit in for the rest of the time.” Rion turned away from my words, done with the situation, but he did look back to wink at me. At least now I knew where Rion stood.
Ravi began to drag a chair across the room, making a beeline for my table until Rion barked, “Separate sides of the room!” He looked up at Rion, raising an eyebrow as if he were asking if he wanted to fight.
Rion just folded his arms. “Do you not want her to be prepared?”
Pouting, Ravi glared at his brother before he turned around and stomped his way to the opposite side of the room, dragging his chair behind him. For the next two weeks, Ravi came down for an hour or two, put in his two cents, then left. It was nice having him there to push Rion’s buttons. It always gave me ideas for later.
Eventually, we worked our way out of Foedus and its rules and moved on to software and programming. Since this was more hands on, Rion and I got our groove down, making it easier for me to digest and retain this information. I had learned the basics on how to program AI, look up people, and access building layouts in the Foedus database. The next step was using that for a practical application. It took me a few tries to really understand, but I got the gist.
I was a little worried that I wasn’t learning more, but Rion reminded me that each test was tailored to the person taking it, so they could only guess what Foedus might test me on. The boys wanted to make sure I was well rounded and prepared for anything, which meant the most practical basics were our “curriculum” for now.
He would occasionally help me take the edge off my stress, with a special session on his desk or in Ravi’s chair while he wasn't there. That was especially mean, but it made Rion work extra hard when I reminded him that it was his brother’s seat.
One day, I got the courage to ask Rion about my parents and their death, so he clicked a few screens and found the Foedus’ files. Apparently, my parents were killed in a car accident. The car went off the edge of a winding road, and after it fell, it blew up on impact.
I’d prepared myself for the news before I even asked, having dreamed up all the worst-case scenarios as well as the best, so I’d thought that I could handle the information like a champ.
In reality, I was the opposite of the champ I wanted to be.
My knees got weak, and I fell to the floor with tears streaming down my face. Rion was surprisingly kind when he picked me up and put me in his lap. He hugged me, and the two of us sat in his chair until my body stopped trembling.
“The files never mention you.”
I shook my head, thinking I’d misheard him until he looked down at me like I was being looped into something important.
“The files on your parents, Lisa and Gavin Rose, they didn't have anything about you. No birth certificate, no social, no hospital records. It was like you never existed in our system.” His pinched brow and lips told me this was irregular, the almighty Foedus not having information. "They must've hidden you from everyone."
I shrugged, more focused on the realization that this was the first time I was hearing their names. Lisa and Gavin.
How odd it was to hear their names. A flood of emotions filled me up even though I’d never met these people, or at least I didn’t remember ever meeting them. Lisa and Gavin were the ones who had left me in the woods. Knowing what I knew about the organization they’d belonged to, it was easy to think they had left me there to die after somehow finding me lacking. They must have been getting rid of the evidence. That was how people in this group operated, right?
Water filled my eyes, and my limbs grew heavy as I stared off into space. They didn't want you. You were a burden. A problem that needed to be solved. Reaching up, I grabbed the triangle pendant on my necklace out of habit. The contact shook me out of my stupor, and a thought hit me. If they hadn’t cared for me, why did they give me this? Why did they leave me with a clue to who they were?
“I’m sorry, Layrin. I'm not trying to stir up stuff, but this ‘accident’ just seems very odd and out of place. A lot like how my parents died.” Rion’s voice hitched at the end, and I turned to face him.
Wiping at the wet tracks on my cheeks, I grabbed his hand, feeling both the need to be comforted and give comfort. “What do you mean?”
He opened up a file on his desktop, and loads of documents came out. “Xaden and Margaret Ambros perished when a plane crashed into the side of a mountain. Debris was searched for evidence of the cause, but everything burned up upon impact.” He looked back and forth at both documents.
Mumbling to himself, he said, “It's just so odd that both would…” I put my hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
My stomach rumbled, and he pulled himself away from the computer to look at me with concern. Sheepishly, I said, “I guess I’m ready for dinner.”
He nodded, shutting his computer and ushering me upstairs, but the look in his eyes said he was far from done with those documents. I, on the other hand, refused to get my hopes up. I didn’t think I could handle getting even more disappointed by my dead parents. That would be like opening Pandora's box, and I was afraid once it was out in the open, everything I kept locked up inside would come out… and that was too dangerous.
I suddenly remembered what Mrs. Ricci had said, and I grabbed Rion’s arm. “Maybe Mrs. Ricci knows something.”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Rushing, I explained what I remembered. “After I met with the council, she mentioned my mother. She knew her, and I got the feeling she knew her well. Maybe she could help?”
The gears in his mind were working, and even though he mumbled, “Doubtful,” I saw a small sliver of hope when he said he would look into it.