Chapter 8 What Lies Beneath
What Lies Beneath
Joy and sorrow
I watch as the staff directs Gwen toward my table. The moment she catches sight of me, she pastes on a huge smile and gushes, “I can’t wait to hear all about your big adventure!”
By the time she reaches my table and sees the serious expression on my face, she suddenly looks stricken. “Wait…did something bad happen to you, Soph?”
I frown, pulling the empty chair closer to me and motion for her to sit.
Gwen sets her purse on the table, looking at me warily as she sits down. Leaning in close, she whispers, “Oh sweetie, what happened?”
“I was just going to ask you that.”
She leans back, looking at me in confusion.
“I saw you out on the sidewalk just before you walked into the café,” I explain.
Her smile falters for the briefest of moments, but she decides to pretend ignorance. “What do you mean, silly?”
My heart aches when I ask, “Why were you crying, G?”
I see her lips tremble before she lowers her head.
“I don’t want you to ever pretend with me.” Handing Gwen her coffee, I encourage her, “Take a sip and tell me what happened.”
Picking up the mug in both hands, she brings it up to her lips. After taking several sips, she sets it back down and looks at me pleadingly. “I’d rather talk about you.”
I shake my head sadly. “I can’t bear to see you in pain. Tell me what’s wrong, Gwen. Please.”
Swallowing hard, she says in a strangled voice, “It was just a rough night.”
Immediately imagining the worst, I ask in a hushed voice, “Did that woman fire you?”
“No…” she answers hesitantly, then adds, “But part of me wishes she had.”
I’m shocked by her confession and demand, “What happened tonight?”
She swallows hard, struggling to speak. “Helen finds fault in everything I do. From questioning my acting ability to the way I put on my makeup. Nothing I do is good enough!”
Her voice quivers when she adds, “It’s been starting to affect how the others treat me.”
My jaw drops on hearing that. I know how talented she is as an actress and how hard she’s fought to get where she is. I grab her hand, squeezing it tightly. “Tell me what happened last night. Tell me everything.”
I see several tears fall from behind her sunglasses before Gwen’s lips begin trembling. “She…she demoted me to a walk-on part with no lines.”
I’m heartbroken when I hear that, knowing how demeaning that must be for my friend. It’s not right! Especially after the rave reviews Gwen received when she stood in for the prima donna by playing the lead role.
“Quit!” I blurt. “Nobody is allowed to fuck with you like that.”
Gwen discreetly wipes away her tears and says in a quavering voice, “You don’t understand, Sophie.
That’s what she wants me to do. I signed a contract, and if I quit, my career will be over.
No director will work with me. I’ll be lucky to get a fucking commercial after that. Helen has that kind of power.”
I squeeze Gwen’s hand more tightly, fighting the urge to hug her because I don’t want to draw attention in such a public place. “Let’s get out of here.”
“No!” she states firmly. Holding her head up, she takes off her glasses and looks at me with her red-rimmed eyes. “Helen is not going to steal this from me, too. I’m sick of my every breath being controlled by the bitch.”
Heartened to see my best friend taking back her power, I smile at her encouragingly.
Sucking in a deep breath, she sits in silence for a moment before picking up her mug and taking a sip. Wiggling her shoulders briefly, she gifts me with a smile as the mood between us shifts. “I want to know everything that happened on your trip, starting with whether you got any sleep or not?”
I chuckle lightly as I pick at my sad little excuse for a croissant. “I actually slept like a baby.”
She tilts her head questioningly. “I don’t believe it.”
I tell her about the private jet and describe my luxurious suite in detail while she shakes her head in disbelief.
“But I almost didn’t make it on the plane…”
She frowns. “Why not?”
I smirk. “Okay, I’m being a little overly dramatic. But when the trainers took us to a private room and told us someone was being dismissed from the program, I was sure it was going to be me.”
“Why in the world would you assume that?”
Rolling my eyes, I confess, “I flubbed up some of my practicums.”
“But isn’t that the point of them? To learn as you go?” She shakes her head, laughing lightly. “You are always so hard on yourself, Soph.”
I take another sip of my latte, feeling embarrassed. “Whatever.”
“So, who did get the boot? Was it that idiot Beefcake?”
“I wish…” I mutter. “No, it was the girl, Clueless—the one I spotted at the New Year’s Eve party. I found out on our limo drive to the airport that another student was also at the party that night!”
She interrupts, “Limo drive?”
I shake my head, still amazed by everything that happened. “We were treated like royalty, G. Limousine, private jet, a soft bed in a posh cabin on the flight. And when we got there…we were each assigned a driver so we could explore Paris before the auction.”
“Paris?” she squeals.
I nod enthusiastically. “I fed pigeons in the park, had a perfect Parisian breakfast, visited a glorious music museum, and I even took a prize-winning shot of the Eiffel Tower.” I pull out my phone to show it to her.
“Dang, woman, talk about being pampered…” I hear a hint of envy as she stares at my photo. “Beautiful photo.”
I sigh contentedly as I glance at the pic. “In every possible way, G.”
She leans in closer to ask, “What about the auction? What was it like to scene with a complete stranger?”
“Funny you should ask,” I say with a giggle. I glance around the patio to make certain no one is eavesdropping before confessing, “He wasn’t a stranger.”
Gwen’s eyes widen. “Who was it?”
She says it so loud, I have to hush her.
Giggling, she gets a knowing grin on her face and declares in a whisper, “I bet it was Anton.”
“He was there, but it wasn’t him,” I murmur teasingly.
Her eyes light up. “Who was it then?”
“Do you remember when I was flirting with those two guys at the Luxe, the cowboy and the—?”
“The hot French guy?”
“Needless to say, I was super shocked when I found out that Matisse was the one who made the winning bid.”
Gwen raises her eyebrows suggestively. “And how was he…?”
I close my eyes, thinking back on our scene. “It was perfect, G.” Savoring the memory for a moment longer, I open my eyes with a happy sigh. “He was perfect…I think I may have fallen for my French Dom just a bit.”
Gwen sits back in her chair, shaking her head and grinning at me. “Well, well! You’ve got quite the menagerie. Not only do you have a crush on Anton, and the stud from your practicums…what’s his name?
A blush burns my cheeks when I answer, “Leōn.”
“And now Matisse?” She raises her eyebrows, looking at me proudly. “Girl, I’m happy to see you finally coming out of your shell. Aren’t you glad you dumped that loser?”
I’m surprised by how the sting of Noah’s betrayal still bites and mutter sadly, “Yeah.”
Gwen stares at me as if I’ve offended her. “Don’t you dare allow that jerk to steal your joy now. He did you a favor by showing you who he really is.”
“I know.”
“You should be happy you learned the truth before you got in any deeper.”
“You’re right…but it still hurts, G.”
She scoots her chair closer to mine and puts her arm around me.
“I need you to hear this, Soph. Always look forward. Don’t let bad things from the past define your tomorrow.
That’s the only reason I’ve been able to push through every setback I’ve ever faced.
And that’s how I’m surviving the hell I’m subjected to on a daily basis since Helen’s return. ”
I look at her with concern. “I’m worried about you, G.”
She pats my hand, insisting, “Don’t be. Anything that doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”
I look at her with compassion. “But even the strongest have a breaking point.”
“Not this girl!” she states emphatically. “I’ll admit…Helen got to me last night. But I can handle anything she throws at me because I refuse to break.”
I pull her chair close enough that our knees bump and speak softly so the other customers can’t hear me.
“I know you are a fighter, G. I’ve watched you fight hard all of my life.
But you don’t have to hide anything from me.
I’m your BFF because I love and support you.
All sides of you—even the hurting and scared ones. ”
Gwen glances away, and I watch a single tear slowly run down her cheek. “I’m…” She swallows hard before continuing. “I’m terrified that if I give voice to those feelings, I will drown in them.”
Wrapping my arms around her, I’m surprised to feel her entire body trembling. “Whether you acknowledge those emotions or not, they’re still there, G. I’m afraid that if you don’t release them, they’ll end up eating you from the inside out.”
She sucks in her breath and says in a quavering voice, “I hear you, Soph. But not now.”
I press my forehead against hers and look into her hauntingly beautiful sapphire eyes. “Whenever you’re ready.”
She nods and sits back in her chair, flashing her signature actress smile. “Enough about me. Tell me everything, down to the last detail. I need to live my life vicariously through you right now.”
Appreciating her need for distraction, I keep my voice low as I share all the juicy bits with her. From the terror I felt when I thought I was going to be dismissed, to the beauty of Paris, and the pure ecstasy of having wild sex in the snow with Matisse as my “Kaelith” while Valentin watched.
She stares intently at me the entire time, eating up every word. But the one thing I choose not to divulge is my emerging attraction to the Headmaster.
Gwen shakes her head, grinning. “I had no clue the course would be that much fun!”
“Me either!” I giggle.
Her eyes twinkle with delight. “I bet Matisse will give you high marks in his report.”
My smile falters, and I laugh nervously. “Actually, I’m nervous about that. I was having way too much fun playing out my fantasy, and I completely forgot I was being tested on my training while we were out in the forest.”
She nudges me. “I’m certain he had no complaints.”
Suddenly, my heart constricts and I find myself wondering if I may have botched every single thing I learned this week. I hate that I have this new fear and let out an anxious sigh.
Gwen looks at me with amusement. “Sophie, when are you going to realize you’re exceptional at everything you do?”
“Like what?” I ask, needing a boost of confidence.
She snorts. “Duh? Like playing piano and your fierce loyalty to your friends, just to name a few.”
I groan miserably. “Gwen, the fact that I teach piano and Noah betrayed me would say otherwise.”
She frowns. “Soph, I really admire your ability to teach others your gift. That is a rare commodity. And, as far as that jerk, that has everything to do with him.”
“Hmm…well, if that’s true for Noah, then the same is true in your situation.”
She sits back for a moment, letting my words sink in. Lifting her chin, she states with conviction, “You’re right. Helen can’t touch me, no matter what she does. She’s just the next stepping stone on my path to success.”
“That’s the spirit!”
When the two of us finally get up to say our goodbyes, Gwen gives me an especially long hug. Although she seems more like herself, I’m painfully aware of the avalanche of emotions hiding just underneath the surface and her beautiful movie star smile.
I will be there for her when the dam finally breaks and it’s time I protect my friend.