Diving Deeper
Failure unlocked
Socrates moved around so effortlessly during his scene with Amethyst that I didn’t pick up on the truth until it was right in front of me. Turning to Pixie Girl, I notice she is still pouting as she stares at him.
It’s obvious she hasn’t caught on yet, and I have to force back a smile. We both assumed he was staring at her with interest, but he was only staring straight ahead.
Now that I realize that Socrates is blind, I’m even more impressed when he confidently reaches up, grabs the steel bar hanging from the top of the tripod frame, and quickly detaches two suspension cuffs.
He orders Carlisle to stand before him. “Have you done suspension before, Mr. Carlisle?”
“I have,” he answers, looking at the rest of us with an air of superiority.
“Good. Then place your hand in this cuff.”
Carlisle doesn’t appear to be aware that Socrates can’t see. He’s too focused on putting his wrist into the suspension cuff and watching intently as Socrates securely buckles first it and then the other.
Taking a step back, Socrates orders, “Stand in the center of the frame, directly under the bar.”
While Carlisle does as he’s told, Socrates addresses the rest of us. “For those of you who have not experienced suspension, it can be challenging on the body when you are unused to it. To enjoy the experience, you must reconcile your feelings of discomfort with the freedom that suspension brings.”
I shudder, disliking the idea of it even more.
Socrates turns back to Carlisle. I realize the Dom must be very familiar with the dimensions of the frame, because he moves confidently up to Carlisle and puts his hand on Carlisle’s right shoulder, then runs it down his arm to grab the cuff encasing his wrist. Lifting it above Carlisle’s head, he explains to us, “I’m attaching the cuffs with carabiners to secure them to the metal bar. ”
Once Socrates is done, Carlisle is left balancing on his toes with his arms spread wide above him inside the frame-like structure. I dislike seeing him in such a helpless state, and I’m unsure how this constitutes suspension.
I notice Headmaster Wallace gets up and picks up the box on the table, bringing it over to Socrates and setting it down at his feet.
“Thank you, Wallace.”
“Of course, my friend.”
I have never heard the Headmaster address any of the other Doms so casually, and I’m instantly curious about the history between the two.
Socrates reaches into the box and pulls out two ankle cuffs. He quickly binds Carlisle with those as well, then hooks the ankle cuffs together with several carabiners. My classmate swings unsteadily as he tries to balance on his toes in this more challenging position.
Although I would personally hate to be bound in such a way, Carlisle has a huge grin on his face.
That grin grows even wider when Socrates pulls a long strand of metal chain with rounded links from the box. He attaches one end to the cuffs, before stringing the other up through a metal piece near the top of the frame.
Wrapping both hands around the chain, he asks Carlisle, “Are you ready?”
“I am, Socrates,” he says in a voice hoarse with excitement.
The entire class remains captivated as we watch Socrates pull on the chain with both hands. I notice the muscles of his strong biceps bulge as Carlisle’s feet leave the floor and his ankles are pulled up behind him.
Socrates stops for a moment to check in again. “Color?”
“Still green,” Carlisle replies as his thin frame swings back and forth in the air.
I feel goosebumps rise on my skin each time Socrates pulls and the chain is dragged noisily through the metal piece above. He pulls Carlisle’s ankles higher and higher until he can attach the other end of the chain to the ankle cuffs.
Socrates points upward and informs us, “I’ve strung the chain through a twister swivel because it allows me to do this…”
The energy in the room intensifies when he starts Carlisle spinning slowly in the air. Carlisle lets out a gleeful shout and begs to go faster.
When Socrates obliges, Carlisle throws back his head and laughs as he spins swiftly in the air.
“That should be me,” Pixie Girl laments next to me.
I barely hear her. Intellectually, I can appreciate the artistic aspect of combining movement with suspension. But, on a primal level, witnessing it in person puts a cold shiver up my back and I feel my scalp start to tingle.
My breath catches when I realize that I’m edging dangerously close to a panic attack.
I have to take quick action. I refuse to make a fool of myself in front of the whole class. So, I ask to be excused and hurry to the bathroom, just making it to a stall before I throw up.
With my hands still trembling, I wash up at the sink and gaze into the mirror. After taking a few deep breaths, the rising panic begins to recede. I help it along by repeating the words, “I am safe. This feeling will pass.”
After several minutes, I hear the distinct click of someone’s heels as they walk down the hall to the bathroom. I quickly dry my face with a paper towel, tossing it in the trash seconds before Mistress Kim enters.
“Are you okay, Miss Lane? You left in a rush.”
I turn to face her and shrug, trying to make light of it. “Guess I shouldn’t have had that latte before class. I just couldn’t wait until our break.”
She looks me over critically. “Is that the only reason?”
I nod, hoping she believes my little white lie. “It’s a simple mistake on my part. I won’t let it happen again.”
“See that you don’t.” She opens the door for both of us and, together, we walk back to class to find Dono Marcelo peppering the students with questions about the demonstration.
After I rejoin the others, he glances at Mistress Kim, who nods to him. He then directs the next question to me, “What did you learn by watching this demonstration, Miss Lane?”
That I’m totally triggered by it, I think to myself.
I glance at Lord Murray, who came to my aid recently with the metal cuff. He warned me on the very first night of class that I should be aware of my fears or they would prevent my growth.
I remember making a vow to myself that I would prove to him and everyone here that I was not afraid. And yet, here I am, making excuses to the trainers about why I fled class…
Doubling down on that vow, I take a deep breath before I answer. “I refuse to let fear define me. Not in my real life…and not in my journey as a submissive.”
“Explain what you mean by that,” he states.
I take a few moments before I answer. “I don’t want to decline an experience simply because it makes me uncomfortable. I might miss out on something I’d actually enjoy.”
He nods. “Thank you, Miss Lane.”
After we’re dismissed, we head off to the lounge. But I’m still too shaken to eat anything, so I opt for a warm cup of tea, and sit down at the table to wait for the others.
Michelle and Tamara pepper Amethyst with questions about her scene with Socrates while I slowly sip my tea trying to calm my stomach.
But soon, Amethyst senses something is wrong and looks at me. “Are you okay? What happened to you back there?”
Tamara gives me a worried look as well.
I immediately tense, afraid that talking about my near panic attack might cause it to return. So I divert the conversation by blurting, “Did you notice anything unusual about Socrates?”
“What? That he’s too sexy for his own good?” Michelle laughs.
“While I agree, that’s not what I am talking about,” I tell her.
Still glowing from her encounter with the Dom, Amethyst smiles. “What do you mean then?”
Leaning in, I lower my voice and say, “I’m pretty sure he’s blind.”
Michelle scoffs. “There’s no way!”
I glance at Amethyst and Tamara, who are looking at me doubtfully. “I’m being serious.”
“Who told you that?” Amethyst prods.
I stare at her in disbelief. “Surely you could tell when you were scening with him?”
“No…” she says as if she thinks I’m crazy.
“Did you two notice?” I implore Michelle and Tamara, certain that at least one of them will back me up.
They shake their heads in unison.
“I watched him closely the entire time, and I’m sure of it,” I insist.
Amethyst laughs. “How could he tie up my feet in such an intricate pattern?”
I shrug. “I have to admit, I was amazed myself.”
Tamara asks me, “What makes you so sure?”
I chuckle, nodding toward Pixie Girl sitting two tables down. “No one could miss how he was staring at her when we first arrived, right?”
The others nod.
“But he never looked at her again after getting up from the table to start the demonstrations.”
Michelle rolls her eyes. “That doesn’t prove anything.”
I turn my attention back to Amethyst. “When Lord Murray picked you to start, I noticed that Socrates didn’t look in your direction until you answered his question.”
The three of them still look unconvinced.
Amethyst insists, “I scened with the man. I think I would have noticed if he couldn’t see.”
“But that was the beauty of it!” I tell her.
“He told both you and Carlisle exactly what to do and where to stand, even down to where you were to place your clothes. I’m telling you, Socrates is blind and he choreographed the scene so perfectly that he was able to move through it without any problem. ”
Tamara opens her mouth to protest, then shuts it as if she’s thinking over what I just shared.
Nash must have been listening in, because I hear him snort before he announces to everyone, “Get a load of this…Miss Lame over there, is trying to convince her friends that Socrates is blind.”
The entire lounge breaks out in hysterical laughter while I sit there in silence fuming at him.
“Leave her alone,” Michelle barks, putting her arm around me.
Nash snickers. “Why? Because she’s a complete moron?”