Chapter 9
Jason flopped down on his bed and ignored Felix as he chattered about his day and all his friends. He hated his new school. All the kids stared at him like he was a freak and called him names.
The captain of the football team, Shane, was the worst. Jason’s mouth twisted, and his face flushed, remembering the way Shane and his buddies had cornered him in the locker room. They said horrible things and threatened to beat him up after school. I never want to go to that school again.
Desperate, he tried to scam a way out of going to school.
Felix kept babbling on and on. Jason pulled the pillow over his head.
I’ve got to get out of here. But where? And how?
The absolute worst part of the day had been running into the daughters of that firefighter that he had almost killed at the grocery store after school.
He recognized her from their family picture splashed all over the news.
Mrs. Hendricks stopped to say hi and wanted to introduce him, but his gut clenched in knots. He didn’t trust himself not to break down and confess that he had been the one behind the wheel on Christmas Eve.
He shut his eyes tight, trying to block out the ugly voice in his head.
I’m what Dad always called me when he was drunk—a worthless piece of garbage, a mistake.
Mom doesn’t want me either. Rebecca broke up with me.
The list in his mind became darker and darker.
His thoughts spiraled downward. I have no friends, no car, no home, and no money.
No one loves me or cares about me. I’m just a waste of space.
Blocking out Felix’s rambling, he turned toward the wall. I’m a pathetic nothing, taking up space on the planet. Tears soaked his pillow as he thought about the ways he could end his miserable existence.
The orderly wheeled Noah’s gurney out of the recovery area and into his hospital room, where Ashley was waiting.
Groggy, he curved his lips upward when he saw her. “My angel,” he croaked out. “You’re back!”
She laughed with relief as he rambled on incoherently and muttered about his pretty, pretty princess. His eyelids drooped, and he drifted off. Dr. Baker, the orthopedic surgeon, entered the room as Simone, the day shift RN, bustled around checking IV connections and taking vitals.
“Everything’s looking terrific,” she reported.
Standing next to the bedside, Dr. Baker examined the capillary refill on Noah’s toes. “Circulation is excellent. Can we position a couple of pillows under his feet? I want to reduce the post-op edema as much as possible.”
“You’ve got it.” Simone grabbed two pillows from the linen closet.
Ashley stood to help as they gingerly lifted his casted legs and tucked the pillows underneath.
Dr. Baker scanned his notes. “The procedure went better than expected. There were no signs of infection. I was able to repair both of the femur fractures, clean up the edges, and close the wounds without needing to put in drains. The best of all was that he didn’t need any hardware.
The breaks were clean, and I think after six to eight weeks of casting, he can be back on his feet, with a lot of physical therapy and conditioning of course. ”
Ashley clasped her hands in front of her. “Oh, that is such wonderful news.” Looking down at Noah snoring away, she laughed. “He’s down for the count, but will be so pleased. Thank you. Please thank the team for us.”
He cleared his throat. “Our pleasure, Mrs. Smith. Everyone has been rooting for your family. Such a terrible tragedy, but the positive aspect is that you’re on the healing pathway now. Barring complications, he should be back on the fire lines by next season.”
Ashley shuddered and shook her head. “I can’t think about that now. Day by day.”
“I understand. I’ll check back later this afternoon.”
Ashley settled into the chair next to Noah’s bed. Taking his hand in hers, she closed her eyes in prayer. Thank you.
Hours later, Emma, Katie, and Noah’s parents called out a greeting as they entered the room.
Ashley raised her head with drowsy eyes and yawned widely. “Guess I fell asleep on the job, huh?”
Simone smiled. “Who could blame you? It’s exhausting—and you’re such a trooper staying by his side.”
Noah opened his eyes and held out his arms for his girls. “Hello, my beautiful daughters.”
They walked into his enveloping hug.
Katie hugged him back tightly. “How are you?”
Emma’s kind, oval-shaped face gazed down at her father. “I’ve been praying for you all day.”
“Me too.” Katie spoke up. “Everyone at school knows you had surgery today.” Holding her hand secretively to her mouth, she spoke in a stage whisper. “Between you and me, all the teachers and front office staff are being extra nice. The cafeteria lady even gave me two cookies and a bag of chips.”
Noah chuckled and motioned toward his legs. “Well, you better milk it for all it’s worth, because I’m not gonna go through this again. At least I hope not.”
His dad patted him on the shoulder. “How are you, son? We’re eager to hear how it went.”
Ashley’s eyes grew misty. “The news is excellent, better than expected. I was waiting until Noah was awake to tell him as well. Dr. Baker came in after the surgery to give an update.”
Grasping the overhead bar, Noah pulled himself up and pressed the button to raise the head of the bed. “What did he say?”
“There were no signs of infection, which is wonderful news. The team was able to reduce both femur fractures and close them. You’ll be in the casts for two months.
” She paused to take a breath. “You’ll need extensive physical and occupational therapy, but you’ll be able to walk again and eventually return to work. ”
Noah’s gaze caught hers. His eyes filled with concern. “Did he say what type of work I would be going back to? Will I be able to fight fire again?”
She knew what he was really wondering. What kind of life would he be living? Doing what he loved? Or working a desk job for the rest of his career.
“Please give it to me straight. Don’t hold back. I can take it.”
Emma’s and Katie’s eyes widened, and Mary and Todd leaned in as well.
Ashley kissed him on his forehead. “Well, my strong, healthy husband, here’s the truth. No one can predict exactly how long your recovery will take, but knowing you, I’m sure you’ll surpass anyone’s expectations and be back in action, fighting fire, by next season. How does that sound?”
He let out a pent-up breath. “Thank God!”
Sabrina knocked on the door as she and Dr. Fisher poked their heads in. “Looks like this is where the party is happening.”
“We’re celebrating Noah’s surgery outcome.” Ashley beamed.
“Yes. I read the surgical report. By far the best outcome one could hope, or pray, for,” he said. “How does being home by the weekend sound to you?”
“Yay!” Katie pumped her fist.
“I’d like you to stay for observation for three more days. Then, if everything is going as planned, you’ll be out of here.”
“That gives us time to set up everything at your house,” Sabrina offered. “The wheels are already in motion, and most of the equipment will be delivered in a day or two. Does that work?”
Ashley looked at her in-laws. “Mary? Will that work for you and Todd?”
“Absolutely,” Mary said. “The girls have been helping us clear out the living room for the hospital bed. We can move it into the guest bedroom once we leave, but for now, that room has the most space.”
“Thank you, Mary.”
“Of course, dear. Anything we can do, please ask.”
After everyone left, Ashley sat next to Noah and took hold of his hand. “Do you remember coming back into your room after the surgery? You said the funniest things.”
“What did I say?”
“You said, ‘There’s my angel. She’s back.’ Oh, and you were calling me your pretty, pretty princess. It was hysterical.”
Noah seemed lost in thought for a moment before he gazed into her eyes.
“Now I remember. Several times, when I was waking from the coma, there was a beautiful angel with golden-blonde hair praying for me. I could sense her willing me back. Sometimes she was crying, and all I wanted was to make her happy again.”
He took a sip of water and swallowed. “I was drawn to the beautiful light and love I felt radiating from her. So much love. Now, I realize it was you. The Lord allowed me to make a choice...and I did. One that I will never regret.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes as she leaned down to kiss him. “Thanks for choosing us. I love you.”
At that moment, everything was so right and complete. They were being given a second chance to start on a new path.
At dinner that evening, Jason kept his eyes glued to his plate during the entire meal and pushed the food around with his fork. All he wanted to do was escape—live his own life on his terms. All these eyeballs on him. He wanted to scream!
Mrs. Hendricks kept trying to talk to him. “How was school today? Did you make any new friends?”
“Fine. No.”
“How’s the homework coming along? Do you need help with anything?” Jeff asked.
“It’s okay. I’m good.”
He stood and began to stack the dinner plates. “Why don’t we go outside and throw the ball around? Get some exercise.”
“Yes!” Felix jumped up from the table. “I’ll grab my baseball mitt. Come on, Jason.”
Leave me alone! Gah, these people.
“I have homework to do.” Jason stoically rinsed his plate and placed it in the dishwasher. “Thanks, Mrs. Hendricks.”
He shuffled into his room and sat at the desk, flipping pages of his textbook without reading the words.
Felix bounced into the bedroom. “Hey, Jason. Want to play a game before bed?”
“No,” Jason snapped.
Felix’s face fell as he left the room.
Jason’s world had crumbled. His dad had nothing but hatred and anger toward him. Even his mom had moved on and didn’t want him around. Rebecca dumped him. Everyone hated him. Kids at school either ignored him or taunted him, calling him a weirdo and worse.
I don’t have anything or anyone to live for. A heavy, dark cloud lurked over him, and an evil voice taunted, you’re just a piece of garbage. A loser. You’re just taking up space on the planet.
He’d found a sharp pair of embroidery scissors in Sue’s sewing basket while she was in the kitchen.
He cut into the flesh on his upper forearms. It stung, but also gave him a rush.
A sharp gasp escaped as the blade of the scissors pierced his tender inner arm.
In some weird way, seeing the blood ooze out of the self-inflicted wounds made him feel in control.
When he was through, he pressed the wounds with a washcloth he had set aside until the bleeding stopped and pulled down his sleeves. He wiped the blade on the washcloth and placed the scissors back in their case. He hid both under the mattress...until next time.