16. Cole
Cole
Biting into the side of my clenched fist, I was unsuccessful at suppressing the groan of pain as one of the trainers worked to loosen a particularly tight knot in my lower back.
“Your back’s a mess, Cole. In all the years we’ve been working together, it’s never been this bad,” Gabe remarked. “Wanna tell me what you did to get like this?”
The air left my lungs on a grunt. “No idea.”
A snort sounded from near the open door. “Maybe it’s because he’s been sleeping on the floor for the past few weeks.”
Gabe’s hands paused their torturous motion. “Please tell me he’s joking.”
I lifted my head to glare at Levi. “You teach your kids it’s okay to tattle on their friends?”
Unbothered, he shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. “You bet your ass I do if someone is hurt or in danger.”
“You’re a professional athlete.” Gabe groaned. “What the hell are you doing sleeping on the floor?”
“None of your business,” I gritted out.
He sighed. “The recovery regime only works if you do your part outside of this building. You have to meet me halfway, Cole.”
“Got it. Thanks.” My words were clipped, my annoyance at the lecture clear.
The sound of Gabe washing his hands at the sink indicated he was done with me.
Heaving myself upright, I climbed off the table, grabbing my shirt and tugging it over my head. When I went to leave the room, Levi blocked my exit, both arms folded over his chest.
My frustration boiled over. “What the hell is your problem?” I shoved at his shoulders, forcing him to step back enough so that I could sneak past into the hallway.
Levi was hot on my heels. “We need to talk about Bridget.”
I spun on him. “Did something happen? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine.”
Placing a hand over my racing heart, I breathed out, “Don’t scare me like that.”
Instead of offering an apology, my teammate said, “What exactly is your plan?”
My brows drew down. “What are you talking about? Plan for what?”
He pulled me into an empty meeting room, shutting the door to keep our conversation private. “Having her hide out at your place isn’t a long-term solution.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?” he challenged, one eyebrow arched.
I scoffed. “Of course I do.”
“You’re so desperate to keep her, to rekindle the flame of whatever you two shared in the past, that I think it’s clouded your judgment.”
Sarcastic laughter fell from my lips. “Is the guy who’s been married for less than a year seriously standing here acting like he’s the authority on relationships?”
Levi scrubbed a hand over his stubbled jaw. “All I’m trying to do is get you to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.”
“And what’s that?”
“That she needs more than just you. She needs therapy. She needs freedom.”
As much as I hated to admit it, he had a good point. But I was still kinda pissy that he’d come in on his high horse, so I spat, “How would you know what she needs?”
Chest lifting on a deep inhale, he admitted, “Because Arizona’s been through some rough shit too.”
I knew his wife had a past when the truth about her being Austin’s biological mom came out last spring. Since it wasn’t any of my business, I didn’t press for more details. Now that it had been brought up again in conjunction with Bridget’s current situation, I was curious.
“Austin’s dad?”
I’d purposely kept my question vague, but Levi knew what I was asking.
“Yeah.” His jaw tightened. “The bastard’s dead and gone, has been for over a decade, but that doesn’t erase the memories. Especially not when there’s a living, breathing reminder.”
Bile rose up my throat. When I’d come face-to-face with Bridget’s abuser, he’d mentioned his quest to get her pregnant. Thank fucking God he hadn’t been successful before she could make her escape.
With a fist closing around my windpipe, I rasped, “You think I should let her go?”
His gaze softened. “What I think is you need to consider the fact that in playing the savior, she’s become solely reliant on you. She deserves to have the opportunity to stand on her own two feet.”
Fuck. It made me sick to think I’d caused more harm in trying to help her.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I whispered, “I love her.”
A hand came down on my shoulder. “You know what they say about loving someone.”
Unfortunately, I did. But as confident as I was that Bridget was my soulmate, that we were meant to be together, I was terrified to let her go again, for fear that this time it would be the end of us forever.
In the end, I needed to put my own feelings aside and do what was best for her.
That’s what Russ would have wanted.
“Oof.” I crashed to the hard ground with a thud, the air heaving from my lungs upon impact.
I hadn’t climbed a fence in a while, but I used to be good at it. Apparently, not anymore, as evidenced by my less-than-graceful landing. I was damn lucky not to have broken a bone, which I would have had a hell of a time explaining to the Surf medical staff.
When the team arrived back in San Diego, I didn’t care that it was the middle of the night; I drove straight to the cemetery. Of course, when I got there, the gates were locked with a sign prohibiting visitors after dark.
Undeterred, I shed my suit jacket and began to shimmy up the metal barrier. As I straddled the top, things went sideways—literally. The soles of my dress shoes were smooth, offering very little grip, and when I pushed off with my back foot, I slipped, taking a ten-foot plunge back down to earth.
Rolling onto my stomach, I got onto all fours and pulled in a few shallow breaths before standing.
It was pitch black, so I used the flashlight on my phone to navigate my way to my best friend’s grave.
Reaching Russ’s final resting place, I traced over where his name was engraved onto the headstone. “Hey, bud.”
With a heavy exhale, I knelt.
“I know what you’re thinking: ‘What the hell took you so long?’ Somehow I got it into my head that if I didn’t see where you were buried, then I could believe that none of this was real. Which is dumb, because obviously, I know you’re gone.”
Tears burned behind my eyes as I picked at a blade of grass.
“Fuck, I miss you every day.”
Lifting my face to the sky, I blinked furiously.
“I, uh, came to talk to you about Bridget. Crew spilled the beans that you knew about us dating, and I wanted to say I’m sorry for not coming clean and telling you that I was hopelessly in love with her.
I should have trusted in the strength of our friendship, but I was scared.
Scared of losing you, scared of losing her.
And in an ultimate twist of irony, I lost you both anyway. ”
I swallowed, emotion clogging my throat.
“What I’m most sorry for is that I failed you both. You asked me to look out for her, to keep her safe. Because I didn’t, she ended up with some asshole who hurt her.”
Guilt and regret churned in my stomach.
“But I’m gonna do right by her now. I’ll make sure she has a safe place to rebuild her life. Even if that place isn’t with me. I’ve made peace with the fact that maybe I blew my shot years ago, that maybe there is no second chance for us. She comes first from now on. I promise.”
Standing, I felt lighter, having gotten all of that off my chest.
I placed my hand on the top of Russ’s headstone. “And I won’t wait another eight years before I come to visit again. I love you, man.”
Even though it was going to rip the heart right out of my chest, when the sun came up, it would be time to say goodbye to Bridget.
A familiar roughness tickled my bare toes.
“Cinder, it’s too early,” I murmured, still half asleep.
Then my brain came online, reminding me that I was in Levi and Arizona’s house, and I sat up suddenly to stare down at my cat.
I rubbed my tired eyes. “What are you doing here, boy?”
“It felt wrong to leave him behind for so long,” Bridget’s soft voice answered.
My gaze lifted, and I drank in the sight of her. With her bare legs on display past the hem of one of the T-shirts I’d loaned her and she’d never bothered to return, and pillow creases on her cheek, she was hands-down the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“You cut your hair,” I remarked, noting the auburn-streaked brown tresses now barely brushed her shoulders.
Bridget fingered the short strands. “Felt like a change.”
I cleared my throat. “Change is good.”
Her lips turned up at the corners. “I’m starting to see that.”
Rising from the floor, I scooped Cinder into my arms, giving him scratches beneath his chin. His eyes closed, and purrs worked their way through his chest.
“I think he missed you.” Bridget petted the top of the cat’s head.
Humming, I said, “He’s just excited because he knows he gets special treats when I come home after a few days away.”
“Then I probably shouldn’t tell you the kids have been spoiling him rotten while you were gone.”
I chuckled. “That’s not surprising. Those two always sneak over to my place while we’re on the road to give him love. It’s a wonder Crew hasn’t dropped off a kitten in his quest to earn the title of favorite hockey uncle.”
Her smile grew. “That sounds like something he would do. But he’s got his work cut out for him if he’s planning to beat the guy who’s donated what sounds like a large chunk of change to fund a sports camp for kids with special needs.”
Heat crept up the back of my neck. “You heard about that, huh?”
“Arizona might’ve mentioned it.” Big green eyes stared up at me. “You have a big heart and go out of your way to help others. That’s something I’ve always admired about you, Cole.”
I didn’t feel like a good guy. Not when, if I’d kept my deathbed promise to her brother, I could have prevented her from becoming a victim of domestic violence.
She should be happy and thriving, but she wasn’t. Because of me. I could give away my entire fortune to worthy causes, and it would never be enough to assuage that guilt.
Delaying the inevitable was only going to make it hurt more, so I asked, “Ready to head home?”
Bridget dipped her chin. “Sure, just let me get dressed and pack up.”
She disappeared into the guest room and shut the door.
I buried my face in Cinder’s fur. Heartbreak lay directly ahead, and his steady comfort might be the only thing that got me through it.
“I’m gonna head up and grab a shower,” Bridget announced upon our arrival at my house.
Following behind at a respectful distance, I waited until we reached the kitchen before saying, “Actually, I was hoping we could talk.”
She paused, turning around to face me, a question in her eyes. “About what?”
I gestured to the stools positioned around the island. “Sit down, and I’ll tell you.”
“Okay . . .” The word was drawn out slowly, but she took a seat as requested.
Pressing a palm against my aching chest, I confessed, “I made some calls while I was gone and was able to secure you a spot at a domestic violence shelter in Bakersfield. I know you mentioned San Francisco or Sacramento before, and those are still options, but I thought—”
“You want me to leave?” Bridget’s voice came out small, her lower lip wobbling.
“Of course I don’t, but I don’t want you to feel like I’ve trapped you here either. Levi said—” I shook my head. “You know what, it really doesn’t matter.”
The woman I loved stared at me, a tear carving a path down her cheek. My hand twitched, desperate to wipe it away, to erase the proof that I was the one who’d made her cry.
Suddenly, I was transported to the last time I’d felt like I was doing the “right thing” by pushing her away.
I stared at the contact pulled up on my phone, knowing what I had to do but feeling sick over it.
The rule was simple: You didn’t mess around with your best friend’s little sister. But try as I might, I couldn’t resist her. There was this magnetic pull between us, and we’d fallen in love. So hard.
Guilt gnawed at my insides, the betrayal casting a shadow over our happiness.
Bridget loved her brother, and if the truth ever came out, it wouldn’t just ruin my relationship with Russ; it would ruin hers too. And that was something I couldn’t live with.
So it was time to end this. Even if it was going to hurt like hell.
Pressing Call, I brought the phone to my ear, bracing to blow up my world.
After two rings, her cheery voice came down the line. “Hey! How was your game?”
“Good. We won.”
“That’s great! I hate that I can’t watch, but I applied for a job on campus, and if I get it, I can afford to pay for the subscription service that covers your league.”
I gripped the back of my neck. “You don’t need to do that.”
Her eye roll was audible. “I know, I know. You’re gonna tell me that the Surf could call at any time, and that I shouldn’t waste the money.” Then she gasped. “Wait. Did the Surf call? Are you going pro?”
More than anything, I wished that’s all I’d called to say.
“No. Not yet.”
“Oh.” There was a hint of disappointment in her voice. “That’s okay. I’m sure it’ll be soon.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“You sound strange. Is everything okay?”
No, everything wasn’t okay. I wasn’t sure I would ever be “okay” again after breaking both our hearts.
There was no point in dragging this out, so I ripped off the bandage.
“Bridget, I can’t do this anymore.”
The silence stretched for so long that I pulled the phone away to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
“Bridget? Are you there?”
A shaky exhale came through the line. “What are you saying?”
I squeezed my eyes shut against a fresh wave of pain. “It’s over between us.” The words tasted like acid on my tongue.
There was a hitch in her breathing. “O-over? You’re breaking up with me?”
“I am.”
Sniffling, she said, “Y-you said you were going to give me your last name.”
The reminder that I was giving up my dreams for the future felt like a dagger piercing through my heart, but I pushed forward anyway.
Derisive laughter burst past my lips. “How would that even be possible when we can never bring our relationship into the light?”
“Then let’s stop hiding.”
“No.”
“No?” she asked in disbelief.
I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “Russ is my best friend.”
“And he’s my brother!” she cried. “When he finds out how much we love each other, he’ll accept us as a couple. I know it.”
“Acceptance isn’t the same as forgiveness.”
“So, you’re choosing him over me?” Her voice came out watery.
“It’s what I should have done in the first place.”
A hiccupping sob sounded in my ear. “Wh-when did I become something you regret?”
“I always knew it was wrong. That’s what made it so exciting. But now that the fun of sneaking around has worn off, I realize it’s not worth the risk.”
Damn, those words came out so cold that I couldn’t suppress a shiver.
“Cole, you don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
“Please don’t do this,” she begged, desperation taking hold. “I love you.”
“You’ve confused a teenage infatuation for love. You’ll get over it eventually.”
She was blubbering loudly now, and her breaths came in broken gasps.
Unable to take it a moment longer, I said, “I have to go.”
“No, w-wait! Cole, I—”
Vision blurry, I hung up, but that wasn’t enough to stop the sound of her brokenhearted cries from echoing in my ears.
Back in the present, I blurted, “I should’ve never broken up with you!”