Chapter 17
Miles
I pull up to the curb and put the car in park. Noah already has his seatbelt off and is reaching for the handle.
“Whoa,” I say. “Hold up. That’s the street. Let me get out first.”
I get out of the car and pull his door open, crouching down to look him in the eyes.
“I know you’re excited, but safety first, Noah. You can’t jump out of the car and into the street.”
“Sorry, Uncle Miles.”
While Noah is thrilled to be at the fire station again, I’m nervous.
It’s been a little while since I’ve seen JJ.
That last time was at the diner, when he got that phone call and his entire demeanor changed.
Though, we have talked every night for the last few nights, it’s not the same.
He calls late, and I’m not usually a late-night guy, but I enjoy it.
When the house is quiet, and I’m sleepy…
I like listening to his voice. I like getting to know him.
He seems to let more of himself through when the sun is down.
Though, he hasn’t dropped any bombs on me like he did on Friday.
I’m afraid that if I tell you, you won’t want to talk to me anymore.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? It’s cryptic, and maybe concerning, but really, it shows me he cares and maybe he just doesn’t know how to show it.
Maybe JJ doesn’t know anything but hookups.
Maybe he doesn’t know how to be in a relationship.
And I’m not saying that’s what this is, because we never talked about that, but it would explain why he runs.
Why he panics, when he thinks things are getting serious, even though they’re not.
Him staying at my house doesn’t mean he has to move in.
It just means he slept over. That really is the end of it. I wish he understood that.
I don’t really know what to say about it, but it seems letting him come to me is what works.
He’s like a scared animal who wants affection but doesn’t know how to handle it.
I’ve given up on my plan to straight out ask him what is going on with us and just go with it.
Casual is fine. It isn’t hurting me to get to know him like this.
In fact, maybe it’ll benefit me. Jumping into a relationship in the past has never worked.
So maybe that’s the key. Or maybe JJ and I will never amount to anything, and we’re just meant to cross paths.
Why put a label on it? Let’s just see how things go and see where we end up. It could be good for both of us.
The door to the building is pushed open, and JJ walks out.
“Mr. JJ!” Noah shouts, tugging on my arm to move faster. I let go of his hand, knowing there’s nowhere he can run and get hurt. He leaps at JJ.
“Noah!” I say, reaching out my hand like I’m going to stop him, but there’s no way.
JJ is ready and lifts him up, hugging him back while Noah wraps around him like a monkey.
This is the exact reason why Audrey doesn’t want to date.
Am I making a mistake in introducing Noah to JJ?
I can’t imagine it’ll hurt him. We come here to see him, but other guys in the firehouse are getting to know Noah, too.
If for some reason JJ and I stop talking, I think we could still come by to visit.
There’s no way I’m getting out of these trips with Noah now.
“Hey, bud,” JJ says with a genuine smile.
Kids do have the ability to make you smile even when you don’t want to. It’s one of my favorite things about being a teacher. One of those little secrets I don’t tell everyone because it sounds cheesy. But it’s true.
All the trucks are in the bay this time, and Noah is shouting about “playing pool with the guys,” so we head right upstairs.
I recognize a few guys from last time that I say hi to. There are some new people, including a woman, that I am introduced to. Everyone is busy doing something, so we head right over to the table.
“But are you sure we can see the truck after?” Noah asks when he picks up the stick.
“Of course we can,” JJ says. “So, what do you think? Me and you, against Uncle Miles?”
“Whoa, that’s not fair,” I say, holding my hands up. “I suck at this game.”
“Okay… me against you and Noah, then.”
“Yeah!” Noah shouts. “I wanna be on Uncle Miles’ team.”
I groan. “Hope you don’t want to win.”
“Come on, Uncle Miles. Let’s play! You can break.”
I shake my head and grab a stick with a sigh. JJ is smiling at me.
“Already imagining me making a fool of myself?” I ask as he walks around me.
He stops, leaning in and lowering his voice. “Just imagining you bent over the table, actually.”
My cheeks heat as he continues on, pulling out the balls and putting them into the rack.
I stare at his hands, large and rough, and imagine those fingers inside me.
We only slept together that one time, but I’ve thought about it many more times than I probably should have.
I still can’t tell if that’s what he wants out of this, but like I said…
I’m going with the flow. What happens, happens.
No need to jump ahead and demand answers. I can totally be casual.
“I’m so much better at this when I’m drunk,” I mutter ten minutes later when JJ has two balls left to get in and Noah and I haven’t gotten any in—besides the eight ball, which means we already technically lost, but JJ just pulled it out and said he’ll give us another chance.
“Yeah? Is that an invite to a bar?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Uh… right now?” I look around.
He laughs. “No, Miles. Not right now.”
“Oh.” I laugh nervously. “Then, uh… sure.”
He moves closer to me again, his eyes heated as he looks down at me. “Or maybe we could check out that strip club together?”
“You’d want to do that?” I breathe out.
“Hell yeah. I think it’d be fun.” He winks, and I have to hold myself up by the table.
And then this god awful sound starts blaring through the building. Noah covers his ears, looking around like he’s in actual pain.
“Shit,” JJ mutters.
Everyone in the firehouse pauses, and I don’t know what they’re waiting for until I hear the voice that comes over the speakers. It mentions a multi-family fire and is requesting all units from Firehouse 99, which is this one.
“Sorry, gotta go,” JJ says, hurrying toward the stairs. “I’ll call you!”
Within seconds, everyone is downstairs, preparing to leave.
Noah barrels past me toward the window. He shoves his face against it to watch the trucks take off. We stand there until the bay is empty, and then he looks up at me with wide eyes.
“That was crazy,” he says.
I nod in agreement. “Yeah, it was.” I offer out my hand. “We should go.”
He huffs a sigh. “Okay.”
“I know you didn’t see the truck. I’m sorry, but I promise we can come back another day.”
“He’s your friend, right?”
“Yeah, he is,” I say with a smile as we get to the car.
“Then we should be able to visit whenever we want,” Noah says matter-of-factly.
“I wish it worked that way, Noah, but this is his job. He has a boss. And we could get in the way if we’re here all the time.”
He buckles and I get into the driver’s side to start the car.
“Can we get a milkshake?” he asks excitedly.
“Only to-go. We need to get home for dinner. And we need to get one for your mom.”
“But then she’ll get mad that I spoiled my dinner,” he groans.
“Not if you eat it all.”
He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “What is she even cooking?”
“I don’t know. Let’s call and ask.” I call her on the Bluetooth, so we can both hear her through the speaker. I’d talked to her earlier, so she knew we were heading here after school.
“Hello?” she answers.
“Hi, Mom!” Noah shouts.
I chuckle. “Hey, Audrey.”
“What’s up?”
“What is for dinner?” Noah asks in an overly sweet tone.
“Your favorite,” she says, a smile in her voice.
“Yay! Dino nuggies and mac and cheese?”
“That’s right,” she answers.
“You forget dino nuggies are my favorite too,” I say.
“Uncle Miles, I will definitely eat all of that dinner,” he says to me.
“Why was that a question?” Audrey asks curiously.
“Because we have a surprise for you. See you soon. Love you!”
“Love you!” Noah calls quickly.
I end the call and laugh as I pull into the diner parking lot.
“We have to be quick, Noey. We have dino nuggies at home.”
“Yummy!” he shouts, jumping out of the car.
We’re heading home ten minutes later with a tray full of milkshakes.
“Do you think you want to be a firefighter when you grow up, Noah?” I ask, glancing at him in the rear-view mirror. He’s never outright said “I’m going to be a firefighter when I grow up,” but the obsession is real.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Mom doesn’t want me to.”
“Yeah, but do you want to?”
“It would be super cool to drive the fire truck all the time.”
“What if you just fixed them?”
“Like the car guys?” he asks.
“Yeah, only you’re specially trained to fix the fire trucks instead. That would be cool. You’d get to fix them and drive them.”
“That sounds so cool, Uncle Miles. Do you think Mom would like that?”
I smile to myself. “Yeah, I think she would like that.”
“Then that’s what I wanna be when I grow up!”