Chapter 25
Miles
We can’t do much without the flour since the crust is the first thing we have to make, so Audrey and I have a beer and chat while we wait for JJ and Noah to get back.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you let your kid go with a stranger.”
Her brows raise. “You trust him, so I assumed I should.”
I chuckle. “You can trust him.”
“Then I’m fine. They won’t be long. The store isn’t far.”
“You’re right,” I say as I bring the can to my mouth for a sip. “Did you get Noah everything he needs for his costume?”
“Yeah, we got it all the other day.”
“Even the new bucket?”
“That was the first thing he went for.”
Audrey sighs, leaning against the counter, tapping her beer mindlessly.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, moving beside her.
My sister and I have always been close, and we tell each other everything. We never fight the way most other siblings do. Even when we were teenagers, we got along. She’s always been my best friend.
“I just hate that I haven’t spent a Halloween with him in five years.”
“I keep telling you to switch your position to days, Audrey.”
“I know, but… I don’t want to wake him up at the ass crack of dawn just because I have to get ready.”
“He’s getting older, and I’m right upstairs. Put a camera in his room and give me one. I know we have different apartments, but it’s basically one big house, and he knows it.”
“He’s only seven, Miles.”
“How is this any different from a two-floor house? I’ll even leave my door open, if it’ll make you feel better. Or who knows—maybe he’ll want to wake up early and come upstairs to have breakfast with Uncle Miles.”
“I don’t know…” She chews on her lip and crosses her arms, the beer still held in her hand.
“It’s a big change. Noah is getting older, I know it’s scary but think of all the extra time you’ll have with him.
” I sip my beer, then put it down on the counter and stand in front of her.
“And we can transition into it. I’ll go downstairs until he gets used to you being gone in the mornings. We can make this work.”
“I don’t even know if there are any shifts open.”
“So, keep an eye out… and if there are, apply. That’s it. It doesn’t mean you have to take it or that you’ll even get it. But maybe trying to make things a little better one step at a time is all you need to feel good.”
“I feel fine, Miles.” She rolls her eyes.
“You’re in a funk, Audrey. I can smell it.”
She shoves me and starts laughing. I grab my beer and take another long sip of it.
“So, you and this guy are pretty serious, huh?” She hides a smile behind her beer.
“Uh, no,” I say simply. “We’re casual.”
“Right… casual. You—”
The front door opens and closes. Thankfully! I did not want to get into this conversation with my sister. She knows I don’t do the hookup thing and prefer relationships, but she was also there when I was with Derek and saw how badly that went. I was about to get an earful, I just know it.
“We’re back!” Noah shouts as loudly as he can.
“You think he’s ever going to grow out of that?” I ask.
“If not… maybe he’ll be a hockey coach, and he can put his yelling to use.”
“Oh, because that’s an option.”
It’s firetrucks or nothing with that kid.
Noah comes into the kitchen with a huge smile on his face and a brightly-colored bouquet of flowers in his hand. JJ is behind him, holding two bags… and another bouquet.
“We got brownies! And these are for you, Mom. And Uncle Miles, JJ got you flowers because he said anyone can have flowers—even boys.”
I look up at JJ, whose eyes are bright. There’s a slight smile on his face, but my eyes are watering. Flowers? He bought me flowers? No one has ever bought me flowers…
I glance at Audrey who mouths the word casual with a raised brow, letting me know it’s a question. I ignore her and bring my gaze back to JJ.
“You did?”
He shrugs. “Saw them and thought of you.” He hands me the bouquet. I glance at Audrey who already has hers. We look at each other, blinking like idiots without a word to say.
I finally snap out of it and look back at JJ. “Thank you. This is so sweet of you. I… I don’t even know what to say.”
“Yes, it is very sweet,” Audrey says, looking at him, then down at Noah. She gives him a hug and kisses the top of his head. “These are beautiful. Thank you, honey.”
“JJ paid for them, but I have to pay him back when I get a job.”
Audrey laughs. “Is that so?”
“Yep. I told him I would. But did you hear me say we got brownies? JJ said we should get dessert and I picked them out because they’re better than cake.”
“Yes, they are,” Audrey agrees.
“Says you,” I huff.
“Good thing we got you this then.” JJ digs into a bag and offers me a giant Kit-Kat.
“Oh my God, I l—” Shit. “I mean… thank you.”
JJ shakes his head, an amused look on his face, as I take the candy bar. He digs into the bag again and hands Audrey two Twix.
“That’s our snack!” Noah says excitedly.
“Thank you, JJ. You didn’t have to do all this.”
“Hard to say no to Noah. He’s kind of cute.”
“Kind of?” Noah asks, grinning from ear to ear.
“Fine. Very cute.”
He grins, then turns back to his mom. “Don’t eat mine, okay? I got one for you and one for me.”
“Promise,” she says.
JJ puts the bag of flour on the counter and I wink at him, my heart nearly bursting at this gesture. Not only did he hang out with my nephew, taking him to the store because he asked to tag along, but he bought everyone something. He’s so thoughtful.
“Okay, now that we have everything for pizza, let’s start making the dough.”
“I’m just going to…” JJ gestures to the corner of the room, where the dining table and chairs are. I laugh as he takes a seat but pause what I’m doing to grab him a beer and give him a quick kiss. I want to kiss him all the damn time.
I say nothing about my almost-admission because it wasn’t really an admission.
I don’t love JJ, not like that. I like him, a lot, and I enjoy spending time with him, but it was just one of those things you say to people when you’re excited.
It’s like the next level of you’re welcome.
If it was anyone else, it wouldn’t have mattered.
But I don’t want to scare him away. Not after he’s slowly making his way in.
Audrey gets to work making the sauce, using a can of tomato sauce as the base and then adding her own ingredients and seasonings to make it better. Noah and I work on the dough until we get it just right. Even if JJ wanted to help, I’m not sure what he could do… separate the pepperoni slices?
Noah helps me add flour to the dough, which is his favorite part. When we get it to the right consistency, I plop it into a bowl, cover it, and slide it away to rest.
“How you doing over there?” I ask Audrey.
“Done.”
“And you?” I ask JJ.
“Just enjoying the show. It’s like a real-life cooking program in here.”
“Can we watch Bluey?” Noah asks.
“Of course,” I say. “Go put it on and we’ll be out in a few.”
He hurries out of the room. JJ gets to his feet. “You want me to clean this up?”
“Wow, is he perfect or something?” Audrey asks under her breath, but loud enough he can here, nudging me with her elbow.
“No, we can clean—it’s our mess.”
“Speak for yourself,” Audrey says. “My feet hurt.”
“Your feet always hurt!” I call after her as she walks out of the kitchen.
JJ comes over to help me clean the counters.
“You don’t have to do this,” I say.
“I didn’t do anything else, so it’s the least I can do.”
“It’s not a big mess.”
“Which is why I don’t mind. Now go out there with your sister and nephew. I’ll be there in a minute.”
I hold his gaze for a moment, loving his demanding voice way too much and unable to believe that he’s just this perfect.
“Okay,” I say with a smile, giving him a quick kiss before going to sit on the couch with Noah and Audrey.
He already has the show on, eyes glued to the TV. It’s one of the few shows he’s watched that I can tolerate. I’m so glad he’s over his Peppa Pig obsession… that was rough.
JJ comes out a few minutes later and sits beside me on the couch, at an appropriate distance but still close enough I can smell him.
He leans back and watches the television like he’s interested in the cartoon.
If we were alone, I’d straddle him and show him how thankful I am for everything he’s done.
But there are people here and that would not be okay.
“Did you know dogs can watch this show?” he asks.
“Well, yeah… dogs can watch TV,” I say.
“Yeah, but they can see this show better than others because of the colors. They don’t see the same colors we do.”
I look at the screen, then back at JJ. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“How do you know that?”
“Leo at the firehouse is full of useless knowledge.”
“I don’t think it’s useless,” I say. “That’s good to know for people who have dogs.”
“It’s kind of cute,” Audrey says.
“Mom, can we get a dog?” Noah asks, keeping his gaze on the TV.
“Yeah, when you’re old enough to take care of it.”
“I am old enough to take care of it. I can feed him and give him baths.”
“Are you going to pick up his poop?” I ask.
Noah makes a disgusted face, and we all laugh.
“That’s what I thought,” Audrey says.
“Maybe a nice hamster,” I say.
“Ew, no. They smell,” she says.
“A fish then?”
She rolls her eyes.
“We don’t need another thing to take care of.”
“A fish would teach Noah some responsibility,” I add. “What do you think?” I look at JJ.
“Oh, I don’t know anything about kids.” He lifts his hands.
“Yeah, but you said you wanted them. Would you get your kid a pet?”
He doesn’t move, holding his breath. It seems everything with him hits a nerve and goes much deeper than I intend it to. Finally, he lets out a breath and starts to blink normally.
“Yeah, probably. Fish are easy. I agree with the dog when he’s older, though. Dogs are good pets but they’re a lot of work.”
“Why don’t you have one?” Audrey asks.
“I work long shifts. I wouldn’t want to leave it home alone for so long.”
“Fair,” Audrey says, giving me a look that is supposed to mean something, but I don’t know what.
“So, a fish for his birthday?” I ask with a grin.
“We’ll talk about it when his birthday comes.”
“But that’s so far, Audrey.”
“If you want a fish, then get a fish.”
“Fine. I will.”
I sit back against the couch, laughing to myself at how engrossed Noah is.
He didn’t catch onto any of the conversation we just had.
We watch Bluey and talk about work while we wait for the dough.
When it’s done, we finish making our pizzas, and even though JJ doesn’t like it, he sits at the table with us and eats the one he made, anyway.
It’s only cheese, but he doesn’t look like he’s hating it.