Chapter Seven
“Come in.”
Flint’s voice sounded steadier than he felt. He stood in his small kitchen, hands gripping the counter, listening to Python’s footsteps fade as his friend left him alone with Arrow.
The door opened. Arrow stepped inside, and Flint’s breath caught.
Gone was the arrogant wolf in the expensive suit who’d slapped his ass and demanded he bend over.
This man looked...smaller somehow, broken.
His shoulders hunched forward, his eyes were red-rimmed and hollow.
The borrowed clothes hung on him awkwardly, and his hair - that had been so styled in the bar - stuck up in damp clumps from a recent shower.
Flint’s snake stirred, conflicted. Mate looks hurt. Mate needs us.
Mate hurt us first, Flint reminded the animal, but his hands trembled against the counter.
“Thank you for seeing me.” Arrow’s voice was hoarse, like he’d been screaming. Which, according to Python, he had been - well, whining at least in wolf form for the last hour of his captivity.
“I’m not sure why I am.” Flint turned away, busying himself with the kettle. Tea. He needed tea, something to do with his hands. “You made yourself pretty clear the first time we met that you had expectations about me that I have no intention of following.”
“I was a king-sized ass.”
“That doesn’t begin to cover it.” The kettle clicked on, the sound too loud in the silence.
Flint pulled two mugs from the cabinet, muscle memory taking over.
He took out his greenhouse mug for himself and a plain blue one for Arrow.
“I relive that night, time after time in my mind, trying to see something redeemable. But it all comes back to the same thing. You saw me and decided I was nothing but a pretty hole for you to fuck, and even when I tried to tell you otherwise, you wouldn’t listen to me. ”
Arrow flinched. “I know.”
“Do you?” Flint spun around, and Arrow took a step back.
Good. Let him be afraid. “Do you know what it’s like to spend your whole life being underestimated?
To be the best at what you do, but have everyone - everyone - assume you’re weak or incompetent because you don’t look like their idea of a killer? ”
“No.” Arrow’s throat worked. “I don’t know what that’s like.”
“I got to where I am because I’m genuinely the best at what I do.
” Flint’s voice shook despite his best efforts to control it.
“I truly have the highest kill rate in the field. They fly me around the world for impossible shots because I’m that good.
I just spent three days in a filthy London safe house after waiting for a fifteen-minute window to take out a vampire who was trafficking shifter children.
I saved those kids, Arrow. Me. The twink who prefers gingham overalls to tight jeans or suits. ”
Arrow’s face crumpled. “I didn’t know…”
“You didn’t ask!” The words exploded out of Flint.
“What was worse was that when I told you I was working, and I tried to explain, you laughed at me. You said I should be at home cooking your meals and wearing those fucking assless pants so you didn’t have to work for a fuck - all while you were doing the real work. ”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s not good enough!” Flint’s hands clenched into fists. His snake hissed inside him, torn between rage and the desperate need to comfort their mate. “You’re a wolf. Wolves treasure their fated mates, everyone knows that. So why? Why did you treat me like I was disposable trash?”
Arrow’s shoulders sagged. He looked at the floor, at the walls, anywhere but at Flint. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible. “Because I’m a coward.”
Flint waited, barely able to breathe.
“I built my whole life on being better than everyone else.” Arrow’s hands shook.
“I left my pack in Wyoming to prove I was more than just another wolf from a nobody family. I worked myself to the bone to get my fancy loft, my designer suits, my position in cybercrimes. I needed everyone to know I was important.”
The kettle clicked off. Flint didn’t move.
“When I walked into that bar and smelled you...” Arrow’s voice broke. “You were perfect in my eyes. This gorgeous, delicate creature who smelled like fresh-cut grass and sunshine was in a bar full of alcohol fumes and cigarette smoke. My wolf went insane. Mine, mine, mine. And I panicked.”
“You panicked?” Flint’s voice was flat.
“I’m not proud of it.” Arrow finally met his eyes, and the raw shame in them made Flint’s chest ache.
“You were small and pretty and looked nothing like the big alpha wolf I thought I needed to maintain my image. I thought...if I claimed you, what would people say? Would they think I was weak for having a mate who looked like you? So I decided to control the narrative first.”
Flint’s stomach churned.
“I treated you like a boy-toy because if I was the one who reduced you to just a pretty face, then that’s all anyone else would see.
” Arrow’s laugh was bitter. “I thought I could keep you as my dirty little secret. Bring you out when I wanted you, hide you away when I needed to maintain my reputation. And my wolf went along with it because he was too desperate to have you close to care how I got you.”
“That’s fucking disgusting.”
“I know.” A tear tracked down Arrow’s cheek.
“I know it is, but you wanted my truth, so I’m telling it.
And then you left, and I couldn’t find you, and every day the mating pull got worse.
My wolf finally woke up to what I’d done.
He showed me what we’d thrown away - not a toy, but a partner. Someone strong, capable, and perfect.”
Flint’s own eyes burned. “You don’t know me well enough to call me perfect.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you at all.” Arrow wiped his face roughly. “I don’t know your favorite color or what music you like or how you take your tea. I don’t know if you’re a morning person or if you like to sleep in. I don’t know what makes you laugh or what you dream about...”
“Fresh-cut grass,” Flint whispered.
Arrow blinked. “What?”
“You said I smell like fresh-cut grass and sunshine.” Flint’s hands shook as he poured hot water over tea bags. “You smell like pine trees and snow. Clean and sharp and...and like home.”
The silence stretched between them.
Flint carried both mugs to his small kitchen table and sat. After a moment’s hesitation, Arrow took the chair across from him. They didn’t touch, although Arrow’s hand was close enough, Flint would just need to lean...But he wasn’t ready for that.
“I need you to understand something.” Flint wrapped his hands around his mug, letting the heat ground him.
“What you did - what you said - it tapped into my biggest fear. I’ve spent my whole life being dismissed because of how I look.
And then my fated mate, the one person who’s supposed to see me for who I really am, did the exact same thing. ”
“I’m so sorry.” Arrow’s voice cracked. “I can’t take back what’s already been done, but I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are.” Flint stared into his tea. “I can smell it on you. But sorry doesn’t fix this, Arrow. Sorry doesn’t make me trust you.”
“Then what do I need to do?” Arrow leaned forward, desperate. “Tell me how to fix this, please. I’ve been thinking and thinking, but nothing I think of is ever going to make up for what I did. I already know that. So what can I do?”
Flint’s snake coiled tight in his chest. The mating pull throbbed like a wound, made worse by Arrow’s proximity. Every instinct screamed at him to reach across the table, to touch, to claim, to complete the bond that would ease the constant ache.
But Flint had learned long ago not to let instinct override good sense. It was why he was still alive when so many other assassins died in their first year on the job.
“I’m not ready for you to claim me.” The words hurt to say, like shards of glass scraping his throat, but Flint pushed through it. “I need time. I need to know this isn’t just the mating pull talking, that you actually want me and not just the idea of a mate.”
Arrow’s face went pale. “How long?”
“I don’t know.” Flint’s chest constricted. He could feel Arrow’s pain as if it were his own - probably because it was his own. The bond connected them whether they wanted it to or not. “As long as it takes for me to believe you see me as an equal.”
“I do see you as an equal.” Arrow’s hand twitched toward Flint’s, then retreated. “More than equal. You’re incredible.”
“You didn’t think so two weeks ago.”
“I was wrong two weeks ago. About everything.” Arrow’s throat worked. “I understand if you need time. I’ll do my best to wait as long as you need. But Flint...can I at least try? Can I show you I’ve changed?”
Flint wanted to say no. The smart thing would be to send Arrow away, to protect himself from further hurt. But his snake wouldn’t survive it - he would pine away eventually, and Flint’s heart couldn’t handle the idea that it would kill Arrow’s wolf, too. Bullets are so much easier.
“There are other complications, too.” Flint forced himself to think practically, to focus on logistics instead of the emotional minefield between them.
“Even if we did claim each other eventually, we have separate lives. Separate jobs. I have my house here, you have your own place - somewhere. I’m an assassin who works in the field, you sit in an office tracking financial crimes and arresting people in offices and fancy clubs. ”
“I know.”
“I’m not leaving Assassin’s Alley.” Flint’s voice hardened. “This is my home. These people are my family. I won’t give that up for anyone, mate or not.”
Arrow nodded quickly. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”