Chapter 4
“HERE ARE OUR CONDITIONS AS LAID OUT BY MY client and our company,” says Ms. Ahn, Bryan’s manager.
“One, Bryan is still allowed to date other girls as long as he keeps these relationships private and hidden. Two, Bryan and Hana are only obligated to go on a date together once a month. Three, PDA is okay but only to a certain extent and not in a way that infringes on Bryan’s manliness. ”
By the time she reaches the word “manliness,” my brain feels like it’s melting out of my ears. It’s times like these that I wish I couldn’t understand Korean.
I give Bryan a pointed look. “ These are your conditions? Seriously? And ‘manliness’? What the heck do you even mean by that?”
“I have a reputation to uphold,” he explains.
“There’s a reason why most K-pop stars aren’t allowed to date.
We’re supposed to be in a ‘relationship’ with our fans and be the manly, sexy, and somehow also cute, perfect boyfriends they’ve always wanted.
If I’m all over another girl, my fans won’t like me anymore.
Granted, I’m taking a break from the music industry, but I doubt any of us want my fans to drop their support now. ”
“Wait, so then why did you agree to this whole thing?” I ask. Being a girl in the industry is hard, but it doesn’t sound like it’s easy for guys, either. “Aren’t you afraid your fans will turn against you?”
“Hell yeah. But I trust Mr. Kim’s judgment. And our managers’. There’s going to be some backlash for sure, but hopefully it’ll all be worth it.”
We’re back in the studio building, in one of the conference rooms where we first did our table reads for the show.
Bryan’s team is sitting on one side of the table while Sophia sits with me on the other.
I’d feel totally outnumbered if it weren’t for my absolute trust in Sophia.
She spent practically the whole night on the phone with me, going over the terms until everything was exactly the way I wanted it to be.
Sophia shuffles through the documents she prepared for today. Ever the workaholic, she somehow managed to write up a whole contract overnight that runs at least ten pages long.
“And here are our terms,” she says in a firm voice.
“One, Bryan-ssi is under no circumstance allowed to pressure Hana to do things she is not comfortable with. At this point in time, this means that there is to be minimal PDA. And everything, even the slightest brush of hands, must be done with consent. If we feel as though Hana is being taken advantage of or is otherwise harmed in any way, we have the full right to take legal action.”
Bryan raises his eyebrows. “Wow, busting out the big guns early, huh?”
Sophia continues in a matter-of-fact way, “Our company will do everything to make sure Hana is safe. Moving on. Two, Bryan-ssi is to treat Hana with utmost respect and not as though she is one of his groupies.”
“Hey,” Bryan says with his hands held high. “I’m not some predatory jerk, okay? Just ask the Brybabies.”
“The fact that they’re called the Brybabies is a crime against humanity,” I quip.
Bryan’s face reddens, and he looks away as he says, “My fans decided on the name themselves. Who am I to tell them what they can or can’t do?”
Well, at least he can see it’s cringey . His reaction surprises me, since I thought he’d be all for the name. Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought.
“Anyway,” Sophia cuts in. “If you make a move on Hana without her express consent, we will sue. Mind you, Hana is a minor, so the laws against sexual harassment are a lot stricter than they would be if she were an adult. Do we have an understanding?”
Ms. Ahn laughs, which catches me off guard. It’s definitely not a reaction I expected.
“ Miss Sophia ,” she says in a way that is clearly meant to make fun of Sophia’s non-Korean name. I bite my lip so I don’t derail the entire conversation by calling her out on her double standards. Bryan uses his English name professionally; why can’t Sophia?
“You and your client are so American,” Ms. Ahn goes on. “Nothing has even happened yet and you’re already threatening to sue. And do I really have to remind you that my client is also a minor? Please do not speak as though my client is an adult offender when he hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“My apologies. I’m just trying to keep my client safe, but I acknowledge I may have sounded a bit too intense about it,” Sophia replies with a thin smile. She looks polite, but I know her well enough to know that she’s secretly thinking, I’ll end you. “Harvard Law habits die hard.”
It’s the age-old alma mater flex, a passive-aggressive Korean tactic that never goes unnoticed, and certainly not now.
Every member of Bryan’s team immediately looks intimidated as Sophia pushes her glasses up her nose and continues, “But let me just remind you that even minors are charged severely for offenses against other minors.”
Ms. Ahn narrows her eyes but doesn’t say anything.
“So, do we have an agreement?” Sophia says, glancing back and forth from Bryan to Ms. Ahn.
“Yes, of course,” Bryan says, his expression now serious. “I wouldn’t even think of harming Hana in the first place. Again, I’m not that kind of guy.”
“Or so he says,” I mutter.
The moment I say it, I realize it’s a mistake.
Ms. Ahn raises her eyebrows. “Is Hana-ssi insinuating that Bryan is a predator? Because that sort of defamation would be grounds for us to take legal action.”
Sophia shoots me a look before holding her hands out to Ms. Ahn.
“No one is insinuating anything,” she says. “We’re simply being careful. And we’re under mutual agreement that nothing that is discussed here will leave this room unless there is a violation of the terms. Right, Hana- ssi ?”
“Ssi” is a formal Korean honorific that I hear on a daily basis from people who don’t know me well. Sophia normally doesn’t use it with me, so the fact that she’s using it with me now can only mean one thing: she’s pissed .
“Yeah,” I say. “Sorry.”
Sophia and Ms. Ahn continue discussing terms, and no matter how much I try to keep up, most of it goes over my head.
My least favorite part of working in the entertainment industry is the legal negotiations, and this is no exception.
And the fact that all these laws are in the context of Korean society makes it all the more confusing to me.
Luckily, I’d trust Sophia with my life if it ever came down to it.
When they’re finally done, Sophia and Ms. Ahn shake hands. Then, Bryan and I shake hands. I’m surprised when I feel that Bryan’s hands are just as cold and clammy as mine. Even though today was supposed to be a peaceful meeting, it feels like we just declared war on each other.
“Okay, then , jagiya,” Bryan says, calling me the Korean word for “darling” in the world’s cheekiest voice. “Are you ready to do this?”
Two can play at this game , I think. I link my arm with Bryan’s and give him a bright, wide grin.
“More than ready,” I say with a wink.
Bryan blinks, and then, just as quickly, he recovers. He flashes his perfect, K-pop prince smile as he walks me out of the room.
“Well, then, I’m looking forward to our first date.”
By the time I get home that night, I fall into bed, absolutely exhausted.
Laying out the terms with Bryan before the shoot today threw off the vibe between us so much that each scene took twice as long as it normally does.
We only finished a few scenes by the end of the shooting day, putting us way behind schedule. Director Cha was furious.
“You kids were fine before!” he kept yelling. “What happened?”
Ask Mr. Kim! I wanted to yell back. But I didn’t, for obvious reasons.
To minimize the chances of the general public finding out that Bryan’s and my “relationship” is fake, both our teams agreed to keep it a secret from the rest of the cast and crew.
Film sets are full of gossip already. And gossip almost always leads to press leaks in our very small industry.
I startle awake when there’s a knock on the door. I must have fallen asleep.
“Come in!” I groggily say.
Mom comes into my room with a plate of neatly sliced persimmons.
Knocking isn’t really a thing in most Korean households, but it’s something my family started doing in America and never stopped. I’m glad we didn’t because I value my privacy a lot, even within my own family.
“Rough day on set?” Mom asks when she sees my face.
“Kind of.” I almost tell her what’s going on between Bryan and me but catch myself before I spill.
I have no idea how my parents will react to the fake-dating thing.
On one hand, I know I should tell them since they’ll find out about us “dating” eventually when the news is broadcasted and shared all over the world.
But on the other hand, I’m tired and this is a conversation I don’t want to have right now.
Even though I felt mostly sure about at least trying out the plan when I agreed to the whole scheme, the more I think about it, the more I feel uneasy about everything.
I thought I was making the best choice at the time, but what if I just fell victim to peer pressure and this plan is a very bad idea?
It’s enough that I have so many mixed feelings about everything. I don’t want to also deal with however Mom responds to it just yet. I settle on a half-truth. “The first two episodes didn’t perform as well as we’d hoped, so we’re scrambling to figure out ways to boost those ratings.”
Mom frowns in a way that I know all too well. It’s the expression she has whenever she’s thinking “I told you so” but is too nice to say anything.
“Yeah, you and Appa were right,” I admit. “I guess our show doesn’t stand out enough after all.”
“Well, it’s only the beginning, honey. I’m sure you can make up for it.”
“Hopefully.”
Mom gives me a gentle pat on the back.
“I—” I falter, and then forge through. “I overheard you and Appa talking about looking for jobs in America. About how hard it is for you guys here.”
Mom’s face falls, just a tiny bit, before she re-collects herself.
She gives me a reassuring smile. “Nothing is decided yet. Your dad and I are just looking at our options. And this is all for the worst-case scenario, which won’t happen!
So don’t worry. The show just started, honey.
You’re so smart and talented! I know you’ll figure out a way to make this work. ”
Long after she’s gone, I lie in bed in the darkness of my room. Although I always knew that moving back to the US was a possibility, panic and desperation threaten to overwhelm me at the thought.
When I first came to Korea, I missed the quiet peace of Florida beaches and the gentle swaying of giant palm trees.
Korea just seemed so loud and crowded and overwhelming.
But now, I can’t imagine life without the bustling outdoor markets and colorful, busker-filled streets.
I can’t imagine what things will be like without hectic but sometimes also really magical K-drama sets or the music-and-passion-filled halls of my performing arts school.
Plus, it’s unlikely that my parents will let me keep pursuing an acting career if I fail here. And then what’ll I do? What will my life even be like without acting?
That’s when I make up my mind. I’m going to do everything in my power to make our show succeed. Even if that means convincing the world I’m dating Bryan Yoon.
As if pretending to like him on-screen wasn’t enough!
I let out a loud groan and pull the comforter over my head.