Chapter 10
AS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT AS THEY ARE, HANBOK are generally pretty uncomfortable, since they have long and poufy double-layered skirts.
Since they were hard to get in Florida, I didn’t grow up wearing the traditional clothes of my ancestors, so I always feel like an imposter in them, like I’m an American trying to be Korean.
But thanks to the power and awesome skills of the costume and makeup ladies, I look like full-fledged Korean royalty by the time I get on set, regardless of how I really feel inside.
When I watched Korean dramas from the comfort of my own home, I always thought the actors and actresses looked so glamorous in their fancy hanbok. But now I know that there’s nothing glamorous about acting out a historical part of a Korean drama.
The Gyeongbokgung Royal Palace looks as regal and cool as it always does, and its lake and trees are as picturesque as ever. But I’m freezing, hungry, and tired. Even though the hanbok I’m wearing is designed for winter months, I still need to wear a parka over it when we’re not shooting.
My nose runs constantly from the cold, and I carefully dab it with a tissue to avoid ruining my makeup. My breath fogs up the air as I review my lines with the script in one hand and a hot thermos of corn tea in the other. The tea is scalding hot, so I switch hands every few minutes.
Despite the minor discomforts, all of this is just part of a normal shooting day. What’s not normal is that today, unfortunately, is the day when Bryan and I have to kiss.
But I’m a professional, aren’t I? I can handle this.
You’ve never kissed anyone , though , my brain reminds me. I gulp.
One bad thing about juggling school and an acting career is that I don’t have much of a social life. And Korean culture is a lot more chaste than American, so... yes, I, Hana Jin, sixteen years old, have never kissed anyone.
In my previous shows, the director let us younger actors “cheat the shot” to make it look like we’re kissing people even when we really weren’t.
But that was before I became the lead. Kiss scenes between main characters in K-dramas are pivotal moments of the whole show and always consist of multiple angles, zoomed-out shots, and intimate close-ups.
A swelling ballad love theme usually accompanies the zany cinematography, loudly declaring the characters’ love for each other to the whole world. A fake kiss isn’t going to cut it.
I know kissing people you barely know is just something you have to do as an actress, but after our amusement park date, things have been so weird between Bryan and me. We haven’t even spoken since our last awkward text conversation.
Bryan gets to the set late, presumably because of traffic. I don’t really think much of his tardiness until after he’s done with hair and makeup, when he says good morning and bows to everyone except me.
I pretend not to notice. I mind my own business, looking over my lines while continuing to sip on my tea. I really don’t want to deal with whatever’s going on with him right now.
What annoys me even more than Bryan himself is how everyone’s responding to him.
Director Cha gave me such a hard time that one instance I was late, but now he’s laughing and smiling, saying stuff like, “Ah, it’s no problem at all!
” and “You were only a few minutes late anyway; no need to apologize.”
He was thirty minutes late. I suppress the urge to roll my eyes.
Bryan being late doesn’t negatively affect me personally, but it hurts our team.
We’ll have to cram in more work in the same amount of time.
Or worse, we’ll be behind schedule again.
I hate that the director isn’t even commenting on how much Bryan is inconveniencing everyone else with his tardiness.
Bryan doesn’t meet my eyes for the entire time that the sound tech guy is getting him miked and ready to go. Instead, he tightly clutches his script and keeps his eyes on the paper like his life depends on it, even though it’s unlikely that he desperately needs to look over his lines at this point.
Only when we’re about to start shooting does Bryan meet my eyes.
And when he does, he’s a one-man master class in acting.
In an instant, he goes from looking friendly and social to being cautious and withdrawn, like I betrayed his trust somehow.
Except I didn’t. There wasn’t any trust to betray in the first place! Was there?
I wish I could check my phone to see if some new story broke out online that might explain his weird behavior. But my phone is safely tucked away in a cabinet with the rest of my clothes. I left it there today because my hanbok doesn’t have pockets.
Before I can ask Bryan what’s wrong, though, Director Cha says, “All right, you two ready to get started?”
Bryan hands his script to his assistant. I don’t have an assistant, and Sophia’s not on set with me today, so I quickly run over to put the rest of my stuff in my cabinet.
“Yes, sir,” Bryan replies, glancing back at me with that same pensive expression.
Okay, what the crap is going on?
The need to know what’s wrong is so strong that it’s hard to think of anything else. But I don’t want to get yelled at by the director again. I push aside all my concerns and get into character.
I first got into acting as a kid because I love the magic of stepping into someone’s shoes.
Of not having to care about my own life and my own problems for the few magical minutes after the director calls out, “Action!” When I’m in character, I’m someone else in another time and place, not Hana Jin, newbie teen actress.
Today, though, it takes all my effort to get into Sora’s head. No part of me wants to kiss Bryan right now, not when he’s being so weird.
I turn around to face the lake, like the script says I should, and wait. Bryan is supposed to start talking first.
And he does, but not in the way I expect him to.
“You’re up early, my princess,” Bryan says, supposedly in character. The script definitely says he’s supposed to sound tender and hesitant. He sounds hesitant, all right, but he’s also downright resentful.
The director doesn’t call it, though, so I keep going, reminding myself over and over again that I’m not Hana, I’m the crown princess who later gets reincarnated as Sora.
“Yes, I wanted to watch the sunrise,” I say, inwardly cheering when my voice comes out just as peaceful and friendly as I want it to.
Not Hana , I repeat in my head. Not Hana.
I turn around to face Bryan, gracefully and slowly like I’m supposed to.
But even my best acting skills aren’t enough to hide the shock on my face when I see him full-on glaring at me.
Unfortunately for me, the camera is on my face for this shot, so only I can see Bryan’s expression.
My eyes widen before I can catch myself. Crap!
“Cut!” The director says. “Hana-ssi, what was that?”
“I—”
I look at Bryan, but his face is once again a pleasant mask.
Fine , I think. If this is the game he’s going to play, then so be it.
“Sorry,” I say. “I’ll try those lines again.”
In the next take, I ace it. The director gives his signature satisfied ahjussi grunt, and we do the lines a few more times to get different angles. Unsurprisingly, when it’s time for the camera to be on his face, Bryan is every bit the doting lover he’s supposed to be.
This is why I could never actually date another actor. They are way too fake.
Finally, we move on to the hardest part of the scene: the kiss.
Oh God , I think. Please let us just do this in one take.
After saying his lines, Bryan angles his head toward mine, making his move. I flutter my eyes closed. When it’s time for our lips to meet, I tilt my head... and end up kissing something that’s definitely not his lips.
“Cut!” yells out Director Cha. “What was that? Why are you kissing his nose?”
Horrified, I open my eyes, only to find myself staring cross-eyed at Bryan’s nose. I hear a few giggles and murmurs from the crew. Bryan himself blinks and moves away, looking just as embarrassed as I am.
“I know the script says you’re supposed to close your eyes for the kiss, but please make sure you land on the right facial feature.” The director groans in exasperation, sounding twenty years older. “Let’s try that again.”
On the second take, I manage to kiss Bryan on the lips. But Bryan messes up this time, flinching back like he’s kissing hot coal.
“Cut!” the director yells. “What was that? You’re not the type to get nervous, are you, Bryan-ssi?”
I’m surprised Director Cha is criticizing Bryan. He must be really frustrated with us.
“Sorry,” Bryan says. “I can try that again.”
We go again. This time, I inhale sharply at exactly the wrong moment, causing us to mess up.
“Cut! Again!”
Bryan coughs just as our lips touch.
“Ew!” I jerk back. “You better not be sick.”
“I’m not,” Bryan curtly replies.
“Cut! Cut! Cut!” The director takes off his baseball cap and throws it on the ground like a disappointed umpire. “Take a break! Come back when you’re both ready to take this seriously.”
I’m still grossed out by the coughing, so I pull on Bryan’s arm. “ You , come with me.”
He thankfully doesn’t resist and lets me lead him away.
“What is wrong with you?” I say when we’re out of earshot from everyone else. “You’ve been weird all day. Like, are you okay? Did something happen? Did a new story break out?”
“No,” Bryan says. “To all accounts.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Bryan doesn’t answer. He looks at the ground, like it’s suddenly fifty thousand times more interesting than it was just a second ago.
“I don’t know,” Bryan says. “I guess I’m just too honest of a person to kiss someone who is playing hard to get.”
I almost can’t believe my ears. “Hard to get?”
“You didn’t want to hang out yesterday. And you didn’t even tell me why.”
Bryan looks almost sullen, and it takes all my self-control to not get mad at him.
“Why do I have to give you a reason ?” I ask. “Besides, you’re the one that put in our terms that we only have to go on a date together once a month.”
“Yeah, but that was before.”
“Before what?”
He looks intently into my eyes, and that’s when I realize. We only went on one date. And that date wasn’t even real! But Bryan Yoon caught feelings .
I don’t like him back, at least not in that way. But now’s probably not the right time and place to tell him this. Not when we’re supposed to make out on camera in a few minutes.
I speak slowly, trying to be as placating as I can. “Okay, look. I had a great time on our date. But what happened afterward was really hard for me. All those comments. Death threats. The hashtag HowCouldYouBryan... It wasn’t easy, okay? Please don’t take it personally.”
“Oh.” Bryan blinks. “Sorry. Yeah, the Brybabies can get a little... intense.”
“Tell me about it. Fortunately, the ones I’ve met in person have been nice. So I don’t think it’s all of them.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Hana! Bryan!” yells Director Cha. “Ready to try again?”
“But yeah,” I quickly say, “let’s just get this kiss over with, all right? We can talk about everything else later.”
Bryan nods and follows me back onto set.
“Did you two get everything sorted out?” the director warily asks when we return.
I give Bryan a pointed look.
“Yes, sir,” he says as he gets into position beside me.
“Good.”
This time, Bryan’s like a whole different person.
He not only delivers his lines seamlessly, but when it’s time for us to kiss, he reaches over to gently caress my cheek.
Even though I don’t have romantic feelings for him, the tenderness of his gesture still touches me, and my heart speeds up as he leans closer.
Everything feels so natural now, it’s hard to believe we had so much trouble with this scene just a couple of minutes before.
“You are so beautiful, my princess.” Bryan delivered this line several times before, but now his emotions feel real.
Maybe they are , I think, remembering the way he’d acted just a few minutes ago.
All my thoughts and anxieties crescendo into a feverish pitch as Bryan, like the K-pop prince he is, leans over and kisses me fully on my lips.