Chapter 25
SINCE I DON’T WANT TO RISK BEING OVERHEARD on the phone, especially by my parents, I ride the subway early the next morning to Sophia’s office before I have to get on set.
My management company looks like any old office building on the outside, but on the inside, it looks like it exists on a whole other plane thanks to its high ceilings, airy open spaces, and golden overhead lights.
Every sleek white wall is covered by posters and trophies of various celebrities that the company represents.
Some are stars I saw on TV ever since I was a kid, while others are from my parents’ time and beyond.
The first time I walked around this building, I felt so inspired by the posters. I relished in the fact that I belonged to the same company as so many great celebrities. But now, I feel like I’m being watched as I walk down the halls.
Sophia hugs me warmly when I enter her office, making me feel a bit better.
She shuts the door behind me and says, “Thanks for coming such a long way, Hana! What did you want to talk about? Must be important if you didn’t just want to talk about it on the phone.”
Even though I was mentally preparing myself for this the entire day, my hands still grow sweaty. There’s a huge lump in my throat, and I take a deep breath so I don’t turn around and run out the door.
I close my eyes and just spit it out. “I want to stop fake-dating Bryan. It should be okay, though, right? We haven’t gone on a date since New Year’s Eve.”
Sophia frowns. “It’s smarter, professionally at least, to keep it up.
Even though it doesn’t do much anymore, a lot of the interest in the show started because of your and Bryan’s fake relationship.
And a lot of the people who shipped you two provide steady viewership for the show.
Hana, I definitely want the best for you, and if you’re absolutely certain that you want to stop fake-dating Bryan, I’ll help you navigate that scenario.
But why the sudden change? Did something happen? ”
I stare down at my feet. For a moment, I think about how much of the truth I should tell Sophia. I settle on, “I like someone. Actually like them. Things were different when I was single, but now that I’m really dating someone... fake-dating someone else feels wrong.”
Sophia sighs. She doesn’t sound like she’s sick of me, more so like she’s tired just thinking about the work that’s ahead of her. “Okay. That’s understandable. Mr. Kim won’t be happy with our decision, but sometimes we just have to do what’s the best for ourselves.”
“If Bryan and I publicly break up before the show is over, wouldn’t that garner more interest?” I suggest, finally looking up to make eye contact with Sophia. “People might watch the show out of morbid curiosity to see if they can pick up on clues about what ‘went wrong’ between us.”
Sophia purses her lips. “It’s risky, but that might work. However, if we’re not careful about how we announce it, it might also create lots of unnecessary backlash for you. The last thing you want to do is make an enemy of Bryan’s fans.”
“Can we maybe work out a joint statement with Bryan’s team?”
“Possibly. I’ll discuss it with Ms. Ahn and get back to you. Do you by any chance know if Bryan will be okay with you calling off the relationship? Have you talked about it with him yet?”
“Well, not exactly,” I admit. “But he knows I like someone else, so I think he’ll be fine with it.”
“Good to hear. Okay, I’ll keep you updated,” Sophia promises, pushing her glasses up her nose.
If there’s anyone I can trust with all this, it’s definitely her.
Sophia didn’t pry and politely refrained from asking who I’m dating, but I kind of wish she had. Her... my parents... I wish I could tell someone the truth about Minjee and me.
On my way back home from set later that evening, I think about coming out to my parents.
They lived in the States for a while before they had me, and in other states, too. Not just Florida, I think to myself. Maybe they’re more open-minded than I think they are.
But when I open the door to Mom’s smiling face and bury myself in her embrace as Dad looks happily on, I lose all my resolve.
I couldn’t get through anything in my life without my parents there beside me.
Even just the smallest possibility that they might not accept me for who I am makes my throat close up in fear.
“You look so tired today,” Mom says. “Is everything okay?”
Mom and I keep few secrets from each other, so it pains every fiber of my body to not tell her about what’s going on.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I lie. “I guess I’m just worn out after the shooting day.”
“Ah, things must be really getting busy in these last few episodes.” Mom gives me a sympathetic look. “Hang in there!”
“Thanks, Umma,” I say.
“Luckily, the show will finish before the first week of classes, so you should be able to go to school like normal at the beginning of the semester,” Mom continues. “Unless you want to take some more time off so you can catch a breath?”
I’m so unprepared for even the thought of going back to school that I immediately say, “Yes, please. If that’s okay? I could use a vacation.”
“That’s true,” Mom says. “I’ll contact the school and see what we can do!”
Later that night, I’m lying in bed when I get a text from Sophia.
Okay, so Bryan’s team agreed to make a joint announcement with us about the breakup.
We’re going to frame it as a “Bryan moving on from you” thing in order to reduce repercussions for you.
I know it’s not ideal, but my concern is that if we say anything otherwise, the fans might attack you for “breaking up” with him. Is that okay with you?
I couldn’t care less how we “break up,” so I reply, Sure!
OK. It should go live in an hour or so. I’d mute your notifications if you haven’t already.
I’m about to turn off my entire phone when I get a call. I expect it to be Sophia, but it’s not. It’s Bryan.
“Um, hello?” I ask. “Is everything okay?”
Even though I know Bryan was okay with me dating Minjee, I can’t help but feel a little anxious about why he’s calling me.
“Oh, hi!” Bryan says. “So, you probably heard about the joint announcement, right?”
“Yeah. We’re framing it as a ‘you breaking up with me’ thing.”
“Unfortunately. But yeah, just wanted to give you a heads-up before I post anything. Don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“I won’t,” I say. “Sophia already explained everything to me, but I appreciate you checking in. Should I unfollow you and block you, too? To up the drama?”
“Ooh, yeah,” Bryan replies. “You don’t really look at my content anyway, right?”
“Nah.”
“Wow, you were really missing out.” I don’t have to see his face to know he’s giving me that mischievous grin of his.
“Okay, then, cool. Go ahead and block me on everything. I think they’re posting the announcement at nine, so I was thinking of posting my dramatic breakup post at nine thirty.
Or maybe ten, since I don’t want it to look staged. Are you gonna post anything?”
“Nope. I don’t think I would even if we were actually dating.”
“Ouch.”
“No offense,” I quickly say. “I’m just not as public about my private life on social media.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s cool. I bet my manager wishes I were more private.”
We both laugh, and I’m expecting Bryan to say bye when he instead adds, “So, just so you know. Between you and me. I think it’s incredibly brave what you’re doing. Let me know if you need help with anything, okay?”
“Okay,” I reply. “Thanks, Bryan. For everything. Let’s finish this show strong.”
“No problem. And yeah, let’s!”
The next morning, my phone miraculously doesn’t crash when I turn it back on. It’s flooded with texts from friends and news reports about Bryan’s and my breakup.
I swipe away all of them for now and go on Bryan’s Instagram one last time. His most recent picture, posted at 9:45 p.m. on the dot, is of him on a rooftop with his arms spread wide, his smiling face lit up by the starry skies above.
Free again and it feels so good , reads the caption.
What a lovable jerk. I laugh and block Bryan Yoon on all my social media.