CHAPTER TEN #2
Pacing back and forth along the length of the island, Cameron waved his hands around animatedly and muttered things under his breath. Every once in a while, Asher would catch bits and pieces, and he’d have to stifle a laugh at words like “underwear,” “cockblocked,” and “kissing.”
It sounded like he might be trying to talk himself into something—or maybe out of it. With Cameron, he could never be sure. However, he was pretty certain the debate had to do with sex, and he kind of felt like he should get a vote in that.
“Too rigid,” Cameron muttered on his next pass as he traced the collar of his T-shirt with his fingertips.
Asher smiled .
Cameron was fucking adorable. He didn’t think he’d ever used that word to describe someone he wanted to see naked, but it just fit the guy.
His silly quirks and nervous gestures. The way he blushed when he became flustered.
His insane and frustrating need to overthink every decision as if it might be his last.
Little things that would probably annoy the hell out of him with anyone else, but with Cameron, they were just pieces to a bigger puzzle he enjoyed trying to solve.
“Maybe Richard was right.” Cameron carded both hands through his hair and tugged the strands. He went quiet for a couple of passes, and then muttered, “Stupid.”
Asher didn’t know Richard, nor did he have all the details about his relationship with Cameron, but he hated the guy a little, just on principle. It wasn’t clear who or what was stupid, but Asher had a bad feeling Cameron meant himself. Either way, he’d brooded for long enough.
Standing, he took a couple of steps to place himself in Cameron’s path and waited for the collision. It happened just as he expected, and he had to laugh when Cameron grunted, stumbled back half a step, then blushed a dozen shades of red.
“Crap, sorry.”
Winding an arm around his waist, Asher pulled him close and motioned toward the barstools at the island. “Come on, sit. You can tell all about it. ”
Cameron sat with only a small sigh of protest. “It’s nothing.”
“Didn’t look like nothing.”
“What are we?” he blurted. “I mean, are we boyfriends? Friends with benefits? Is this a relationship, or are we just having fun?”
Okay, not where he thought this was going, but at least they’d started with something easy. “Do we have to label it?”
Cameron kind of nodded and shook his head all at once in a jerky movement that looked more like a seizure than anything. “I guess it’s not really fair, but yeah, I think I need to label it.”
Asher didn’t answer right away. They hadn’t progressed past kissing, so while they might be friends, he couldn’t claim any extra benefits. They definitely had fun together, but Asher could have fun with anyone. He just didn’t want to anymore. Which only left him with one possible answer.
“Then I guess you have yourself a boyfriend.”
“We haven’t even slept together, and I read this article that most people don’t even consider it a relationship until at least date six.”
Asher picked at a blueberry muffin in one of the to-go containers on the counter while he tried to keep up with the conversation .
“First, you probably shouldn’t look for relationship advice from a fashion rag. Secondly, there are people who don’t have sex until after they’re married.” He shrugged, then continued mutilating the muffin. “I mean, I don’t get it, but I hear it happens.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“What? Getting married? I…uh…” Thankfully, he was saved from a full-blown panic attack when Cameron looked him in the eye and shook his head.
“That we haven’t slept together,” he clarified.
Back in familiar territory, the pressure on Asher’s chest eased, and his pulse gradually slowed to a less dangerous rhythm. “How about you start at the beginning, because I think I’m missing some crucial information.”
Sure, given the opportunity, he’d readily pound Cameron into the nearest flat surface.
Was he okay with the fact that he hadn’t been presented with that opportunity yet?
Surprisingly, yes. The whole discussion felt off, though, like he trailed a step behind, and he needed some context before he started dishing out answers.
Cameron’s mouth worked, but no sound emerged.
When he looked to be the one in danger of panicking, Asher took pity on him and changed tactics.
Sometimes, writing even a chapter felt like an insurmountable task, but it always seemed less daunting when he broke it down into scenes. Maybe the same would work for Cameron .
“You said something about cockblocking.” He bit the inside of cheek and tried not to laugh when Cameron began coughing and sputtering. “Let’s start there. What did you mean by that?”
“You really want to do this right now?”
“I don’t see why not.”
Cameron nodded slowly. “Then, I’m going to need coffee, and you’re going to want to get comfortable.”
Widening his eyes, Asher rose from his seat and rounded the island to make Cameron a cup of coffee and refill his own. “That good, huh?”
Cameron didn’t smile. “Yeah, pretty much.”
Unsure what to think, Asher poured coffee in silence, passed one of the mugs to Cameron, then led him down the hallway to the den.
Cameron had said he should get comfortable, and the oversized leather sofa with its deep cushions fit the bill.
Settling onto one end, he frowned but didn’t protest when Cameron eased into an adjacent armchair instead of sitting beside him.
Still, it kind of…hurt. Yep, that was exactly what the tight, heavy feeling in his chest meant.
Sitting at the very edge of his seat, Cameron rested his elbows on his knees, coffee cup held firmly between his hands, and stared down into the contents. “So, you said start at the beginning?”
Asher nodded and tried to smile through his nerves. “Probably for the best. ”
“Well, the beginning of this story starts with an apology.” Looking up, he met Asher’s gaze and grinned.
“For last night,” he clarified. “I’d like to blame it on the tequila, but truthfully, I think even without the alcohol, I would have found some excuse to pump the brakes.
So, I’m sorry for being a tease instead of just being straight with you. ”
Asher just couldn’t resist that setup. “Please, never be straight with me.”
His joke had the desired effect, and Cameron laughed, though it sounded a little self-deprecating. “My point is, I got overwhelmed and freaked instead of just talking to you like an adult. To be fair, I didn’t realize it until just a few minutes ago.”
“So, you’re saying your sudden-onset starvation wasn’t a conscious decision?”
Again, Cameron chuckled. This time, it didn’t sound like he was choking on it, either. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
“That’s what the cockblocking comment was about?”
Cameron blushed and stared down at his coffee again. “I didn’t realize I’d said anything out loud.”
Fuck, he was cute. “Is this moving too fast for you?”
Once Asher decided he wanted something, he went for it—open throttle, no second-guessing, no doubts.
Just grab it with both hands, punch the accelerator, and hang on for the ride.
It hadn’t occurred to him that Cameron would be overwhelmed, but after everything he’d learned about the guy, maybe it should have.
“Yes, and no,” Cameron answered, his words slow, his voice measured. “Normally, I wouldn’t spend the weekend with someone until we’d been together for a lot longer, but I’ve had fun. I like this part.”
Asher melted into the couch cushions, his relief palpable.
Cameron wasn’t saying he’d made a mistake, or that he wanted to end things between them.
Asher hadn’t even known he’d been worried about that until the weight on his chest lifted, allowing him to take his first deep breath since the conversation had started.
Interesting how much the idea of ending their shiny, new relationship bothered him, especially since he’d never wanted one before now.
“So, which part don’t you like?”
“It’s not something I don’t like. I’m just careful, I guess.”
The way he stammered and refused to look at him gave Asher a good idea of what he was struggling to say. “You’re talking about sex.”
Still staring into his coffee as if it held all the secrets of life, Cameron nodded. “It’s just this rule I have.” His shoulders rounded, and a muscle ticked in his jaw. “It’s stupid and old-fashioned, but well… ”
Leaning forward, Asher placed his hand on Cameron’s forearm, waiting for him to finally look up, then smiled. “Tell me this rule of yours.”
“No sex for at least thirty days after I start seeing someone.”
He said it without inflection or emotion, but those goddamn expressive eyes told Asher everything he needed to know.
He wasn’t the first to be on the receiving end of this particular conversation, and for reasons he’d rather not examine, he fucking hated that.
Also, if he guessed correctly, the information hadn’t been well received in the past.
Four weeks didn’t sound unreasonable. He’d abstained for longer than that, usually when he was behind on a deadline, but still, it counted.
It wouldn’t be easy, especially when he just had to look at Cameron to get hard, but he could do it.
He could keep his hands to himself and his dick in his pants for thirty days. Easy. Piece of cake.
Who the fuck am I kidding? This is going to be hell.
And still, Cameron was worth it.
“I have a couple of questions, but before I ask them, I want to make something very clear.” Cameron flinched, but Asher just leaned in closer and whispered a kiss across his cheek. “This is not a deal-breaker. Got it?”
The sad smile he received in return damn near broke his heart .
“First,” he continued when Cameron didn’t speak, “are we talking everything?”
Cameron sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded again.
“Kissing is okay?” Since they’d done a lot of that, Asher figured it should be obvious, but he didn’t want to assume.
“Kissing is okay,” Cameron confirmed. “Pretty much any PG-13 stuff.”
“Okay, good to know.” They might have a different definition of PG-13 activities, but they could iron out of the specifics later. “Okay, so why thirty days? Why so specific?”
“Do you want the long version or the short?”
Asher cocked an eyebrow. “I’m a storyteller. What do you think?”
Laughing, he held one hand up in mock surrender. “Okay, so, I was roommates with this guy in college. Biggest manwhore you’ve ever met. Girls, guys, gay, straight, trans, it didn’t matter to him. Marcus was hot enough to have anyone he wanted, and he had them in every way imaginable.”
The story could go one of two ways, and Asher prayed that it ended with Cameron telling this Marcus guy to fuck right off. “Manwhore, got it.”
“After an entire semester of him trying to get into my pants, I finally told him that if he swore off sex for an entire month, I’d do it. ”
“You mean, do him .” Asher bit his lip. He hadn’t meant to say that, but he really wanted this story to end.
“Well, yes,” Cameron allowed with a little smirk. “Marcus being Marcus accepts right away. No questions.”
“And did he? Make it the whole month?”
“He did.” A fond smile played over his lips. “I never slept with him, though.”
Asher’s mouth fell open, and his eyes rounded until they actually hurt. “Why not?”
“Once he stopped trying to charm me out of my clothes, he turned out to be a pretty decent guy. He ended up becoming one of my best friends, and we realized that was all we’d ever be. Why fuck up a good thing?”
That hadn’t even been a possible outcome in Asher’s list of scenarios. He still felt like he was missing something, though. “And now, you wait to get physical for the same amount of time because…”
“Because I’m not wired for casual sex. Because you can learn a lot about a person in thirty days.” He sat back in his chair and shrugged. “Because even if we never make it that far, or if we do, and the sex is terrible, then there’s a good chance we can still be friends afterwards.”
The virtual king of casual sex, Asher still didn’t fully understand, but he also didn’t want to pressure Cameron into something he wasn’t ready for yet. Hmm, he wondered if mutual masturbation counted as sex. Probably .
“So, have you always been a relationship-type guy?” he asked instead.
“Pretty much.”
Which wasn’t a yes. “You’ve never—?”
“I have.” Cameron sipped his coffee, but his eyes remained fixed on his knees, his gaze distant, hollow. “Once. About six years ago. It didn’t end well.” He sighed, the sound filled with regret. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Asher agreed, because if the look on Cameron’s face was any indication, he didn’t think he wanted to talk about it, either.