Chapter Nine
Nine
Taylor
You free tonight? I have an idea
Avery shook her head. Leave it to Taylor to send a text like this on a Friday morning. Slightly stressful, but also kind of exciting, yep, that was Taylor.
Avery glanced at her calendar. She was busy for most of the weekend, but not tonight.
Avery
I’m free after 7. should I be scared? i’m scared.
Taylor
Only a little. pick you up at 8
Avery shook her head. Taylor’s taciturn texting style would be the death of her, and they weren’t even dating! There must be hundreds of group texts out there trying to decipher what her uncapitalized sentence fragment texts really meant.
An hour later, Taylor sent a follow-up:
Taylor
Oh right—wear something casual but a little slutty
Avery
I don’t own anything a little slutty!
Taylor
I figured you’d say that. do it anyway
Avery stared at her closet. She’d clearly underestimated Taylor when she shopped for new clothes. And it was too late to buy anything else. Wait, she had an idea. An outfit started from the inside out, didn’t it? She put on a lacy red bra that pushed her boobs sky-high, and matching underwear. She’d bought them toward the end of her relationship with Derek, but she’d broken up with him before even wearing them. Might as well use that energy for something fun.
Over that she pulled on a snug black sundress. She loved this dress, but because her bra straps always showed in it, she always wore it either with a black bra underneath or with something over it, usually both. But Taylor had called for a little slutty, so tonight, she was going to let her red bra straps show.
She put on bright red lipstick, then pulled the pins out of the low bun that her hair had been in all day and tossed her head back and forth. She looked at herself in the mirror and shrugged. Hopefully this was messy in a sexy way.
Taylor
Here
There was Taylor, exactly on time. Well, five minutes late, but that was exactly on time for Taylor, Avery knew that now.
Avery
Coming!
As she walked out to Taylor’s car, she regretted, once again, what she’d said to Taylor after trivia. She should have just brushed off Taylor’s question about why she’d given her that look when Callie had asked her to come back. But she’d been so used to being honest with Taylor about dating and flirting and everything else that it hadn’t even occurred to her to hedge. Granted, everything that Taylor had said had reassured her, but she still felt silly for being quite so…naked in her insecurity. She didn’t usually do things like that.
Just try to act normal , she said to herself as she got into Taylor’s car.
“Hey,” Taylor said. Her grin widened as she glanced at Avery’s outfit. “Red bra, wow.”
Avery grinned back at her.
“This was a big step for me, I hope you realize. I’m not really a visible-bra-strap kind of girl.”
Taylor patted her on the shoulder.
“Oh, I do realize. I’m very proud.”
Avery knew that Taylor was mostly joking about being proud of her, but she still felt a swell of happiness when she said it, as well as at the lingering feeling of Taylor’s hand on her bare shoulder.
“Good,” Avery said. “Tonight had better be worth this leap of faith.”
“It will be,” Taylor said. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.”
Avery giggled at that, as did Taylor.
“My pretty little head? Seriously?”
Taylor drove off as she shook her head at herself.
“Well, you are very pretty, but yes, I probably could have worded that a little better. I’m not trying to emulate the Wicked Witch of the West. Whatever, you got what I meant.”
Avery felt herself flush at the compliment. Taylor said things like this all the time, in such a casual, direct way. She knew Taylor didn’t mean anything by it—if she hadn’t already known that, Liz and Dani and Callie had made that very clear—but she also knew Taylor wasn’t bullshitting her. Avery looked out the side window and tried not to show how pleased she was.
Wait, why was she doing that? She did that all the time—she hid her emotions from people. Not just the bad emotions, the good ones, too. Why?
Because showing her emotions made her vulnerable. Because then people knew how to hurt you. Ouch.
But it’s not like that had prevented her from getting hurt in the past.
She’d think about that more later. For now, she tried to let herself bask in Taylor’s compliment.
She didn’t even bother to ask Taylor where they were going, but she definitely wondered. Where would Taylor take her that prompted her to tell her to dress “a little slutty”? And why had she wanted to go out tonight, instead of waiting until their regular Tuesday?
“You’re dying to know where we’re going, aren’t you?” Taylor asked, looking at her sideways as she drove.
“Me?” Avery said in an outraged tone. “Nope, not at all, not even thinking about it. I’d honestly forgotten that I was in the car with you, as a matter of fact. Just thinking about a fascinating thing that happened at work today.”
“Mm-hmm,” Taylor said. “And what would that fascinating thing be?”
Avery racked her brain for something slightly believable.
“Uh, tonight’s event was for an ophthalmologist conference, you see, and did you know that when they operate on people’s eyes, they have to stay awake? Because of—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Taylor said, and they both burst out laughing.
A few minutes later, Taylor pulled into a parking spot, despite the many tourists out that night in Downtown Napa.
“How do you always manage to do that?” Avery asked as they got out of the car.
“Do what?” Taylor was in her typical uniform of jeans and a tank top, but tonight’s jeans were ones that hugged her waist and butt very well, and her black tank top was snug in a way that Avery hadn’t quite noticed in the car. Now that she did, though, she knew it was going to distract her all night. Well, depending on what tonight ended up being.
“Find a parking place wherever we go. You barely even have to circle.”
Taylor put her hand on Avery’s back and turned her in the opposite direction.
“What can I say, we all have gifts, that’s mine.” Avery looked at her, and Taylor grinned. “Fine, that’s one of mine.”
Avery shook her head.
“You have an unfair number of gifts, you know.”
Before too long, Taylor guided her into a packed restaurant, and over to the bar. Miraculously, there were two seats together, right at the back. As they slid into them, Taylor leaned close to her.
“Before you say anything,” Taylor said in Avery’s ear, “ this was not one of my gifts—I had Lucy save me two seats at the bar tonight. She owes me a favor.”
Avery laughed and tried not to let Taylor’s proximity give her butterflies. She had a job to do tonight, remember? Even though she didn’t quite know what it was yet.
“Of course she does,” Avery said. “I feel like every bartender in both Napa and Sonoma Counties owes you a favor.”
Taylor winked at her.
“Not just the bartenders.” She turned to Lucy and caught her eyes immediately. “Two gin and tonics please.”
Lucy nodded at her and grabbed a bottle of gin—very good gin, Avery noticed—down from the bar. Avery started to watch Lucy make their drinks, but suddenly, she couldn’t take it anymore.
“Taylor. Why are we here?” she asked.
Taylor turned to her, a grin on her face.
“I thought you’d never ask.” She cleared her throat and folded her hands together. “I realized something the other day: We’re about midway through our flirting lesson curriculum, so to speak, which means it’s just about time for a flirting midterm. You’ve been so desperate to be graded this whole time, here’s your chance.”
Avery just stared at her. Was Taylor serious?
“So, I have to wander around this bar and find random people to flirt with, while knowing the whole time that you’re watching me and judging me?” She’d worn her special red bra—and exposed it to the world—for this?
Taylor’s face fell as Avery talked, and she put her hand on Avery’s upper arm.
“Oh my God, of course not, I would never!”
Avery let out a deep sigh of relief.
“I’m sorry. I just…got stressed for a second. I should have known you wouldn’t do that to me.”
Taylor’s hand was still on her arm.
“No, that was my fault. I was trying to be too dramatic and failed. But I promise, this is much better than having to find random people to flirt with at a bar. Instead, you have to flirt with me.”
Avery sat up straighter, unsure whether she’d heard Taylor correctly over the din of the bar.
“I have to flirt with…you?”
Taylor nodded.
“Yes.” When Avery didn’t say anything, she dropped her hand and pulled back. “Well, not have to. If you don’t think this will be fun, we don’t have to do any of this. You know that, right? Like any of our other lessons, you can abort at any time, including right now, before we’ve even started. Just say the word.”
Obviously, Avery wanted to flirt with Taylor. But she was intimidated by the idea, too. This was sexy-as-hell Taylor Cameron! The idea of flirting with her on purpose, like, committing to it in a way that Taylor knew she was doing it, and then having to figure out how to respond when Taylor flirted with her …And what if the way she responded made Taylor realize Avery had a crush on her? How humiliating!
But this also seemed like an opportunity she couldn’t refuse. And didn’t really want to.
She turned to face Taylor, made eye contact with her, and smiled.
“Oh, I absolutely think this will be fun. I’m glad you do, too.”
Taylor smirked, just for a second, and then picked up her drink.
“I’m happy you agree with me,” she said. “So, what was your work event tonight?” she asked, her eyes locked on Avery’s. “Something about ophthalmologists, you said?”
Avery nodded. She tried to make herself relax into this, but she still felt wound up by what Taylor had said, by her proximity, by the way Taylor was looking at her.
“Yeah,” she said. “It was, um—they’re having a conference in St. Helena, and I guess between talking about eye surgeries or whatever they do, they also like to drink a lot of wine.” She shifted in her seat so that her knee was just barely touching Taylor’s. “So, I organized three wineries to come so they could do wine tastings from a range of Napa Valley wines. Noble was one of them, actually.”
Was she doing this right? Just talking about normal stuff, but making her voice and eyes and body do the flirting work for her? Or, at least, attempting to do that? She thought so, but now she was questioning everything.
As soon as Avery heard Taylor laugh, she relaxed. This was just Taylor. Taylor wasn’t going to care what she did or how she looked at her or how much she touched her. Despite all of her talk about grading her, they both knew that was just a joke; Taylor wouldn’t judge her on how she did—or didn’t—do anything tonight. Taylor probably already knew Avery had a crush on her and didn’t care. This was just for fun.
“Oh, right,” Taylor said. “I helped Margot pack up the wines to go to that event. She didn’t tell me that you’d organized it, though.” Avery couldn’t tell if she’d shifted in her seat or if Taylor had, but now her knee was a lot more than just barely touching Taylor’s; it had moved to the inside of Taylor’s knee. Even in her long dress, and with Taylor in jeans, she could feel the warmth of Taylor’s body through the fabric. Why hadn’t she worn a knee-length dress? If she had, it would have slid up just enough so her bare knee would be touching Taylor’s.
Avery had to laugh at herself. Why was she eroticizing knees, for God’s sake?
“Yeah, Margot was the first person I called when they agreed to my plan to have wineries come to their event,” Avery said. She pushed her hair back behind her right shoulder. She saw Taylor’s eyes linger on her bare shoulder and let herself smile. What had Taylor told her a long time ago? Pay attention to the person you’re flirting with. Avery pushed her hair back behind her left shoulder this time, and she could almost feel Taylor’s attention lock onto her. “The event went really well—I got tons of compliments from the people I worked with, and everyone seemed to enjoy the wine. And the wineries got a bunch of orders, so it was win-win for all of us.”
Taylor picked up her drink and ran her finger along the condensation on the glass. Avery got goose bumps watching the slow, gentle movement of her finger.
“That’s fantastic,” Taylor said. What was fantastic? Avery had forgotten what they were talking about. “I’m sure I’ll hear the details from Margot tomorrow.” Right, the event.
“Yeah, I’m glad I got to organize it,” Avery said. “I got to do one of my favorite things, which is to work together with places I love here in the valley and get business for everyone in the process.” Taylor took a sip of her drink as Avery talked, and one tiny droplet of condensation fell right onto the center of her cleavage. Oh God, Avery couldn’t watch it, she had to look away. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t watch that little drop slide down…and down…and down. That wouldn’t be flirting, it would just be ogling at that point. Avery picked up her own drink, partly to give herself something else to do, and partly to cool herself down a little. She could feel her cheeks getting hot.
She had to get Taylor talking again. That was the only way not to stare at her cleavage. She looked back up at Taylor, who had a knowing smile. She couldn’t have made that little drop of liquid slide into her cleavage…could she? No, impossible.
“Um, how’s your friend Erica doing?” Avery asked.
Taylor sighed and her smile fell.
“She’s fine, I guess. I don’t know, really. We’ve been friends for so long, but it suddenly feels like…” Taylor looked away. “I don’t know, like there’s a gulf growing between us, you know? I sort of feel like whenever I text her, I’m bothering her or something. To be honest, I’m worried she’s firmly in the married-women-with-babies demographic now and not into the whole single-queer-women scene anymore, and I’m a casualty of that.”
Avery wanted to take Taylor’s hand, put her arm around her, do something to comfort her and drive away that sad look in her eyes. She was just about to, when Taylor suddenly laughed and put her hand on Avery’s. “Oh, but she and I did text when we were at trivia—we bet on who was going to win the race to sit next to you after I got up to go to the bar.”
The pressure of Taylor’s warm hand on hers almost made her not pay attention to what Taylor was saying. Almost, but not quite.
“Wait, really?” Avery sat up straight, moving slightly away from Taylor in the process. She didn’t move her hand from underneath Taylor’s, though. “You bet on who was going to try to sit next to me? Erica doesn’t even know me.”
Taylor patted her hand.
“I know, but she knows the rest of that whole crowd. Plus, that’s kind of our thing—Erica and I bet on random stuff all the time.”
“Who won the bet on Tuesday?” Avery asked. “Since it was about me, don’t I get to know?” She turned her hand over halfway, so they were sort of, but not quite, holding hands. She hadn’t even meant to do it, but it just felt natural at this point. When Taylor had first suggested actual flirting tonight, Avery had thought it would feel weird or hard or scary to flirt with her, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It just felt easy, exciting, even comfortable. She couldn’t believe she’d existed for this long and had spent so much time with Taylor without touching her like this, looking at her like this.
Did Taylor feel the same way?
No, of course not. But that didn’t matter right now. Right now, Avery would pretend that she did.
“I won,” Taylor said with a laugh in her voice. Her thumb caressed the center of Avery’s palm. “Erica said it would be Liz, but I bet on Dani, and I was right. Granted, I’d seen the way Dani had been looking at you earlier, and Erica hadn’t, but she knows both Liz and Dani pretty well, so it seemed like a fair contest.”
Avery desperately wanted to know what the history was between Taylor and Liz…and Taylor and Dani…and Taylor and the rest of that group, for that matter. She swallowed the question, but Taylor gave her that knowing look again.
“Go on,” she said. “Ask me what you were about to ask me.”
Avery tilted her head.
“Are you and Liz…I mean, have you ever…?”
Taylor laughed and picked up her drink with her free hand.
“We’re not now, obviously, but yes, we have. It was a long time ago, and we’ve been friends ever since. And to answer your next question, the same answer goes for Dani, but that was just last year. It was just a quick thing, though; we are clearly not for each other, but I like Dani a lot.” Taylor raised an eyebrow. “Why, are you interested in either of them? Or any of the rest of that crowd?”
Taylor wished she hadn’t asked that. She’d done it because it was the kind of half-teasing, half-serious question that she would naturally ask Avery, so it just came out. The problem was right now—with Avery sitting here with her knee in between Taylor’s, and her hand in Taylor’s, and with Taylor’s eyes constantly going in between that flash of a red bra strap, Avery’s big soft lips, and her just-out-of-bed curls—she didn’t know what she would do if Avery said yes. All she knew was that she felt a flash of jealousy just thinking about it.
Avery shook her head.
“Not really, though I have to admit, the attention from them on Tuesday night was flattering.”
Taylor hated the rush of relief she felt. This was unlike her. She wasn’t the jealous type, which was something that had seemed to bother at least a few of her past girlfriends. It was probably this stupid bet with Erica making her act weird. This was like how she’d felt at trivia when she’d wanted to claim Avery as hers, to pull her away from her friends, to sit somewhere with her, just the two of them, and no one else.
And now that’s exactly what they were doing.
Shit. She’d thought that a flirting midterm was a brilliant idea; that it would be a fun night, where Avery would try to flirt with her and she’d flirt back and give her critiques and that would be all. But now she was in much deeper than she’d planned to be.
And the worst part was, she wanted to stay right there.
“But I liked them both a lot, and it was a really fun night,” Avery continued. “It’s been a while…a long time, really, since I enjoyed a night out in a big group like that. It felt nice to be in a group where everyone was friends, everyone was relaxed with one another, no one was trying to, like, make an impression or one-up one another or edge someone else out of a circle. Sure, there was some interpersonal conflict and history that I could feel but didn’t know the details of, but it wasn’t a big deal.”
Now Taylor felt even more guilty for mentally being such a bitch about her friends on Tuesday night. Next time they all went out, she’d buy the first round, as an apology that none of them would ever know they were getting.
“Yeah, it’s a good group,” she said. “We’ve all been through a lot together, and we know one another really well. So even when people have little spats, it blows over quickly.”
Avery picked up her drink and took a sip.