Chapter Twelve
Victory
I can’t believe I confessed so much to Wells.
I always thought my parents were a little selfish for the way they raised us, but I never admitted that to a soul.
Not even to Seth, for fear he’d think I was ungrateful or selfish.
I hope Wells doesn’t see me that way. “I must sound like an entitled brat complaining about living places most kids can only dream of.”
“I don’t think you sound like that at all. I know all about impostor syndrome, and it sucks. Try growing up as a Silver and wishing you were a Steele or a Remington.”
That surprises me, but something in the way he said it tells me it’s true. “Why did you feel that way?”
“Because being a Silver comes with certain expectations, and like you, I craved normalcy. I love my parents, but they did some stuff when we were kids that messed me up.”
My chest constricts. “What do you mean? They seem lovely.”
“They are, but if they were having problems, you’d never know it.
They fought a lot when we were young, but never in public, and we knew better than to talk about it.
It’s not like they ever told us not to—it’s just part of being a Silver.
We learned early on how to put on our happy family faces, and my parents were the king and queen of it. ”
“ Oh, Wells ,” I say softly, holding his hand a little tighter. “That must’ve been stressful.”
“It wasn’t fun, that’s for sure.” He motions across the grass to more playground equipment. “Let’s check that out.”
He leads me toward an enormous climbing area with steps and slides and a bridge between landings, and I can tell he’s uncomfortable. “We don’t have to talk about this.”
“I don’t mind talking about it.” He stops in front of a colorful rock wall that leads up to a landing and guides me in front of him, then pats my butt. “Go on up.”
“There are steps over there.” I point to the other side of the equipment.
“I thought you grew up in the jungle, but if you can’t handle it,” he teases, and moves to the side, clearing a path for me to walk around to the steps.
“ Please . I’ll beat you up it.” We race up the rock wall laughing, and when we get to the landing, he boxes me in against the railing and kisses the hell out of me. “That’s one way to distract me from the conversation.”
“There’s not much to distract from. My father moved out when I was six and they said nothing would change, but of course everything did.
” He takes my hand, talking as we walk from one landing to another, and I get the sense he needs to keep moving as he shares this with me.
“Grant was angry all the time, and Fitz got really quiet. I think that’s when he started trying not to cause trouble, and my sisters were so little, they cried a lot, wanting to know when our dad was coming home. ”
“That’s really sad.” I look up at him as we start crossing the bridge. I want to wrap my arms around him, but he doesn’t meet my eyes, so I let him lead us to the next landing. “What about you? How did you handle it?”
“I remember doing whatever it took to keep my sisters happy. Keira was about four, I think, and she loved pretending to be a baker. We’d have tea parties with Play-Doh cupcakes, and since Bellamy was into frilly princess dresses, I’d dress up in my suit and be her prince.”
“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. What a great brother.” I hook my finger into the waist of his jeans. “But that was for them. What about you? Your world was turned upside down.”
He shrugs. “I’m told I acted out, which I’m sure is true. I was worried about my mom. She tried to hide her sadness, but we knew how hard it was. I used to pick her favorite flowers and put them on her pillow with notes telling her I loved her.”
“I bet you made her day every time you did it.” He does such a good job of hiding his big, loving heart behind his cocky bravado, it’s easy to see why it’s overlooked by so many people.
Including myself initially. I have the strange thought that maybe Harvey had a hand in us getting together on the anniversary of the night Harvey and I met.
But that thought is too big to wrestle with right now.
I tuck it away and say, “Your poor mom. It must have been so hard taking care of five kids, and trying to keep her emotions in check in front of all of you, when she was heartbroken, too.”
“As an adult I can look back and see it must’ve been excruciating for both of my parents, but as a kid I just wanted to make it better.
It was all very confusing. I mean, they fought, so I knew something wasn’t right.
But after some time apart, they started acting like they were happy and in love again.
Sometimes my dad even spent the night at our house, but we never spent the night at his, which was also confusing.
Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep a lot.
But again, when we were in public, we pretended things were normal, even though everyone in town knew our parents weren’t living together. ”
“So, while your family was falling apart, you’d go to school, or out to play, and act like you weren’t sad?” Imagining him as a confused, scared little boy breaks my heart. “You weren’t kidding about understanding impostor syndrome. No wonder you wanted to be a Remington or a Steele.”
“They had issues, too, but at least with them, what you saw is what you got. If they were upset, they didn’t hide it.
They talked it out and made up and were smiling again.
I know now that my parents kept up appearances because of the Silver House, and I get it, but because of that, it was hard to know what was real in my family.
That’s probably why I spent a lot of time at Leni’s house.
Her mom would make snacks and tell us funny stories.
All three of our families were together a lot, and all of us guys were always pranking everyone and having fun. ”
“I’ve heard about those pranks. Leni said her brothers used to scare the crap out of her and Jules when they were little, and didn’t Sutton’s dad prank Archer by saying Flynn was a porn star and dating their grandmother?”
Wells laughs. “Yeah. Miles Long, but those pranks are nothing compared to others they pulled. One year Jock and Archer shaved a penis into the back of Levi’s hair, and he went to school like that without knowing it.” Levi is Leni’s twin brother.
I laugh, then quickly cover my mouth. “That’s horrible.”
“Yeah, but it was funny. Our fathers went to college together, and they were the original pranksters, so we had to carry on the tradition.”
“What kind of sons would you be if you didn’t?” I tease, earning a smile.
“Exactly.” He takes my hand and heads to the top of a curly slide. As he sits down, he says, “Our pranks have escalated over the years, and no one is safe from them.”
“I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m there.”
He pats his legs. “Climb on, sweets.”
I’m loving this jaunt into youthful times as I climb onto his lap. “I can’t imagine your father as a prankster. He seems buttoned-up. Your parents can’t be all that bad if your dad was involved in pranks.”
“Like I said, I love my parents. They just did some confusing shit when I was young, which I guess all parents do on some level.”
“Maybe it’s a rite of passage to give your kids something hard to deal with.”
He pushes off the edge of the slide, and we whip down it, both of us laughing, and we stumble to our feet at the bottom. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me. “Back to the swings?”
“Sure. Do you have good childhood memories other than the pranks?”
“Absolutely. Some of my best memories are from when all of our families would get together. We’d turn on music and barbecue and play games in the yard, or my father would take everyone out fishing on his yacht.
Even though my parents weren’t living together, things seemed more normal when we were all together like that. ”
“You could disappear into the fantasy and pretend.”
“For a little while. But then we had our family dinners a few times each week at the Silver House, which is where abnormal came in. We’d have to get dressed up and act the part of the perfect family, because it was the Silver House and we had a reputation to uphold for the guests, none of whom knew my parents had separated. ”
“That had to be awkward.”
“Sometimes it felt painfully fake, but other times, what started as pretending ended up feeling real. I guess you were right about the fantasy. There were lots of times when I hoped my father would come home with us for good, but of course he never did, and that made me angry and sad all over again.”
“And here I thought that as Silver Island royalty, you had no idea what hardships even were.”
He scoffed. “You’re probably not alone in thinking that.”
“But your parents act like they’re madly in love. How can that be fake?”
“Their love isn’t fake. That’s one thing I learned as time went on. Other than that period of fighting, which was probably only a couple of months, they’ve always been happy, like best friends who are in love.”
“When did they move back in together?”
“They never did. They still don’t live together.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. I know it’s weird, but it works for them.
” He holds the swing out for me as he did before, and as I sit down, he says, “A couple of years ago they got us all together and apologized. I think something happened between them and Grant that brought it on.” He lowers himself to the swing.
“They told us they were so young when they had us, the pressures of family life and some personal things they didn’t divulge got the better of them, and they didn’t want to confuse us by having us spend nights at my dad’s house.
They thought they were doing the right thing. ”
“I can see that. It makes sense.”