Chapter Eighteen #2
“I’m glad to hear it.” I turn my attention back to the Steeles. “You must be getting excited about Leni’s wedding.”
“We are beyond thrilled,” Shelley says. “Although Leni is with Indi and the rest of the girls right now. You know how she hates people fussing over her. I hope they don’t drive her so batty, she cancels the wedding.”
I can see Leni throwing her hands up and calling it off to elope, but I don’t dare say it.
Steve reaches for his wife’s hand. “That’s not going to happen. She loves Raz, and she knows how much planning has gone into this wedding.”
“Wells, you’ve been awfully busy running back and forth to the city lately,” Gail says. “Have you found a spot for a restaurant yet?”
The high of seeing the property on the dock with Victory comes rushing back, but the ache in my chest overshadows it. I have no idea how I’m going to navigate that, much less going back to the city when everything about it reminds me of her. “We’re getting close.”
“That’s wonderful news,” Shelley exclaims.
“Yes, we’re all excited about your new business endeavor,” Lenore says. “But I’d rather hear the scoop on you and your new lady friend. We hear you’re getting hotsy totsy with Flynn’s sister, Victory.”
Shelley gives her a chiding look. “Mom, don’t embarrass him.”
Roddy laughs. “You can’t embarrass this guy. He can have any woman he wants.”
No, I can’t. Not when the only woman I want doesn’t want me. I grit my teeth to keep those words from coming out.
“Raz mentioned that he and Leni caught you two in a lip-lock right in the middle of the busy city sidewalk,” Lenore says.
“Gotta love Raz,” Roddy says.
“We’re happy for you, honey,” Shelley says. “We adore Victory, and her family is lovely.”
“We liked her, too,” Gail said. “Will we be seeing her at the wedding?”
Fuck. I don’t even want to think about navigating the wedding. I need to get the hell out of here. “I’m sure you’ll see her there.” Before they can ask any more questions, I say, “I’d better get going. It was great to see all of you. Enjoy your evening.”
I escape into the bar and weave through the lively crowd, stopping to introduce myself to new customers and catching up with Sunday-night regulars.
I chat with a few friends from around town, and when I notice a blonde and brunette eyeing me near the dance floor, I make my way up to the bar to avoid them.
“Hey, Wells,” Fitz calls out as he and Grant break through the crowd.
“Hey. I didn’t know you guys were here. How’s it going?”
“Not bad,” Grant says. “We haven’t seen much of you lately. We thought we’d swing by and catch up.”
“Sorry. I’ve been pretty busy.” I walk behind the bar. “Can I get you a beer?”
“Sounds good,” Fitz says, and Grant says, “Sure.”
I fill three glasses and then join them on the other side of the bar.
Grant lifts his mug. “To your new restaurant, little bro.”
“The property isn’t ours yet. The lawyers have to jump through some legal hoops first to make sure it’s doable.” I take a drink, not wanting to talk about that , either.
“You know I was kidding with all that shit talk, right?” Fitz says.
“Yeah, whatever. It’s all good.” I take another pull of my beer, feeling antsy as fuck.
“It’s cool that Victory found it for you,” Fitz says.
“That reminds me, why did I have to hear about your new girl from my wife?” Grant asks. “Is that who you were frustrated about when we played poker last month?”
I try to sound casual. “Yeah.”
“Guess that means things are going well,” Fitz says.
Not really. I take a drink instead of responding.
“What can I say? I give great advice,” Grant says.
“What are you, the love guru? Jamison gave him great advice.” Fitz lifts his chin at me and says, “How crazy is it that the guys who have dated the least are the ones who helped you win her over?”
Lot of good it did. “Pretty crazy.” I guzzle my beer, then set my empty glass on the bar, catching a glance I can’t read between my brothers. That’s my cue to get the hell out of Dodge. “You guys enjoy yourselves. I’ve got things to do. I’m heading out.” I make a beeline for the exit.
They catch up to me as I step outside. One on either side, like fucking bookends.
“A’right, Wells, what’s going on?” Grant asks.
“Nothing. I just have things to do.” I continue walking along the stone path that cuts through the lawn to the crest of the hill overlooking the marina.
“Come on, bro,” Fitz urges. “We know you better than that.”
Grant steps in front of me at the top of the hill, blocking my way, and crosses his arms. “You wear your emotions on your sleeve. Always have. You can’t fake smiles worth shit, and you’re usually the first to joke around, so fess up. What’s going on?”
“Whatever it is, you can trust us,” Fitz says.
Yeah, I can fucking trust them. They’ve helped me through the hardest times in my life, and as much as even thinking about admitting the truth hurts, I can’t stop it from barreling out.
“You want to know what’s wrong? I’m the fucking good-time guy.
That’s what’s wrong. But ever since Victory and I got together, she’s all I want.
She’s all I fucking think about. It’s never been like this with anyone, and it’s not because she’s hot or any of that bullshit,” I seethe, as if they’ve accused me of being shallow.
I pace, unable to tamp down my frustration or my heartache.
“When I look at her, I see a woman who is good and honest and so fucking strong. But she’s also so damn fragile, and you’d never know it, would you?
But I know it.” I bang my fist against my chest. “I see it and I feel it, and I want to be the guy she trusts with that side of herself. I thought I was doing all the right things. That we had something special. I thought I could do this.” I stop pacing and realize they’re just staring at me.
“But by the looks on your faces, you know I can’t. ” Just like Victory .
“What’re you talking about?” Grant snaps. “What look ?”
“The one that says you think I’m too selfish or incapable of having a long-term relationship. It makes sense. I’ve never had one other than Leni, and I cheated on her—”
“You were a kid,” Fitz says sharply.
“So what?” I fume. “I knew right from wrong, and I still hurt my best friend. Love scared the shit out of me. I thought I learned from all that crap, but maybe I’m just fooling myself, and Victory somehow knows I’ll screw up down the road.”
“ Wait ,” Grant snaps. “What the fuck happened between you two?”
“I don’t fucking know. We always spend the night in my hotel room when I’m there, so Friday night I suggested we spend the night at her place, and she freaked out.
She looked scared, or appalled. I don’t know how she looked.
But it makes sense. I told her what happened with Leni, and she knows how we grew up.
Pretending shit was normal. I’m sure to Victory I’m one big fucking red flag.
I guess our childhood fucked me up for good after all. ”
“What kid doesn’t have baggage from their childhood?” Fitz asks.
“It fucked me up for a long time, too,” Grant admits solemnly.
“I’ve worked through it, and Dad and I are cool now, but, Wells, I don’t think you’re selfish or incapable of having a relationship.
You dropped everything to set up a special night for Jules when I asked you to.
You called in favors and gave the woman I love the night of her life, when I’m the last person you should have done anything for. ”
Thinking about that day, I remember how good it felt to see him come back to life.
I would’ve done anything to help him stay on that path, and I was happy to turn the private rooftop dining room at Rock Bottom into a romantic wonderland for the woman who was helping bring him back to us.
“You’re my brother. I’d do anything for you. ”
“That’s what makes you a great guy,” Grant says. “I was a complete dick to you and everyone else, and you didn’t hold it against me.”
“Like I said,” I grit out. “You’re family.”
“Dude, you’re always the first to help anyone, whether they’re family or not,” Fitz says. “When Abby’s mom died, you offered to buy the Bistro so she wouldn’t have to move back to the island, and we all know you didn’t want to own another restaurant on the island.”
“You would’ve done the same thing.”
Fitz and Grant exchange dismissing glances and shake their heads.
“No, we wouldn’t, and we didn’t,” Grant says.
“You’re a different breed, Wells,” Fitz says.
“Remember when Goldie Gallow’s kitchen at the B and B flooded a few years ago and she had a full house and was hosting a community breakfast that weekend?
The second you got wind of it, you handled it.
You catered breakfasts for her guests and gave them free dinners at Rock Bottom, and you catered breakfast for the whole Seaport community.
A selfish person wouldn’t have done any of those things. ”
Goldie Gallow is in her eighties. She owns a bed and breakfast in Seaport and has hosted monthly breakfasts for the entire community since before I was born. We went as a family, and I still enjoy going to them.
“He’s right. You’ve never been selfish, Wells,” Grant says.
“Not even as a little kid. After Dad moved out, you did whatever the girls wanted just to keep them happy. I could hold them when they cried, but I couldn’t do that pretend-prince shit you did.
And you used to pick Mom’s favorite flowers and leave them on her pillow.
They’d wilt by the time she found them, but they made her happy. ”
I didn’t think anyone knew about that. “How do you know about the flowers?”
“I found her crying one night and saw dirt on her pillow,” Grant says. “I thought one of you had ruined her sheets or something, but she said they were happy tears and showed me the note you left. It said you were sorry Dad moved out and that you would be the man of the house for her.”
Fitz laughs. “Always taking top billing. Even as a kid.”
I smile, appreciating the levity. “She was so sad. I just wanted to help.”
“She showed me where she kept them,” Grant says. “On a bookshelf in her bedroom, pressed between the pages of a gardening book.”
My throat thickens. “I assumed she threw them out.”
“I bet they’re still there,” Grant says. “If Stevie ever does anything like that, there’s no way Jules or I would throw them out. Mom said you left her flowers all the time, and that you had Dad’s heart, which pissed me off, because I was furious at him after he left. I thought he didn’t love us.”
“I felt that way for a little while at first,” I admit.
“I never did,” Fitz says. “That must’ve sucked.”
“It did. Why didn’t you feel that way?” Grant asked.
“I don’t know.” Fitz’s brows knit. “Dad and I have always had a different relationship than you guys have. You and Dad fought all the time, and even as a kid, Wells was the family jokester. Dad used to do things just to get him to make a joke, but I was Dad’s serious sidekick.
He sat me down before he left and told me how much he loved us and said things would work out.
I believed him. And yeah, everything changed after he moved out, and that sucked, but I never doubted that he loved us. ”
“You always were a kiss ass,” Grant said.
Fitz looks at him like he’s lost his mind.
“You think I liked being tagged as the good one? That’s a fucking noose around my neck.
I was jealous of you guys when we were younger.
” He lifts his chin at Grant. “You never took shit from anyone, and, Wells, you broke the rules every damn day and everyone still adored you.”
“What are you saying? You wanted to be a bad boy?” Grant snarls.
“Fuck yeah,” Fitz says. “You made it look cool, and Wells made it look fun.”
“There’s nothing cool about how angry I was at Dad,” Grant says firmly.
“And I never tried to break the rules. Not back then, anyway,” I say. “It’s just who I am, and that’s a noose around my neck. Look at my current situation. Victory sees me as a fucking boy toy.”
“If she thinks that, it’s her loss. You’re a great guy,” Fitz says.
“I don’t know about that,” I admit. “Look at my dating history. Everyone knows me as the good-time fling guy.”
“Not the people who really know you,” Fitz says.
“Who gives a damn about your dating history, anyway?” Grant says sharply. “Your value as a partner isn’t derived from the length of your past relationships. It’s about who you are and how you treat others. You’re as trustworthy as they come.”
“Haven’t you been showing up to see her in the city a couple of times each week?” Fitz asks. “Or were all those trips just for the restaurant?”
“Both, but mostly her.”
“If you ask me, that makes you a fucking knight in shining armor,” Grant says.
I scoff. “Hardly.”
“Listen, without a crystal ball, you can’t know what’s going through her head,” Fitz says.
“Actually, I think I do,” I admit. “She told me she wasn’t looking for a relationship, but like a fool, I fell for her. When I saw the fear or whatever it was in her eyes, I gave her an out. I said it was too much too fast, and she took it.”
“Well, shit . Maybe she’ll come around,” Grant says.
“Part of me wants to force her to open her fucking eyes and see us like I see us, but the other part of me doesn’t want to make things harder for her.”
“See? Not selfish,” Fitz says. “If you did wrong by her, I’d say grovel your heart out, but it doesn’t sound like you did. Maybe she’s as confused about it as you are. Some time and space might help. What do you say we head over to my place and play some pool? Help you forget her for a while.”
There is no forgetting Victoria Braden, but sitting at home picking this shit apart for another night would be torture.
As we head to the parking lot, Grant claps a hand on my shoulder and says, “Nobody said love was easy, but when it’s with the right woman, it’s worth it.”
“That’s great, Grant,” Fitz says sarcastically. “Rub your happiness in his face.”
Grant glowers at him. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
“It’s okay, Fitz,” I say. “Pixie’s penchant for sprinkling happy dust must be rubbing off on him.”
Fitz and I laugh.
“Fuck off. I’m as broody as ever,” Grant says, which only makes it more fun to heckle him.
“As broody as a giddy girl who just got asked to prom,” I taunt, and Grant’s eyes narrow, which makes me laugh harder.
“I’m going to worry if he starts singing ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun,’” Fitz says.
We both start singing and howling with laughter.
Grant looks like he’s got smoke coming out of his ears. “Shut the fuck up before I take you both down,” he warns, which sends us further into hysterics.
“Uh-oh,” I choke out between laughs. “I see pixie wings sprouting from his shoulders.”
“I’ll give you pixie wings.” Grant charges at us, knocking us both to the ground.
We wrestle, cracking up and calling each other names, and it almost drowns out the ache of missing Victory.