Chapter 30
Damian | Edinburgh, present day
I’ve said the wrong thing. I know Floss well enough by now to tell when she’s upset.
Her smooth forehead wrinkles slightly, and her eyes get this glazed sad look, like she’s tormented and wishes she could cry.
But I know she can’t. There are things about being a vampire like that that really punch me in the gut.
I’m not saying I want to bawl my eyes out if I’m sad, but it would be nice to have the option.
She gets up slowly from my lap and starts mindlessly rearranging ornaments on the sideboard.
‘Floss ...’
‘If you can’t handle eternity with me, maybe we should call it quits now. I can get Hester to memory-wipe you this evening.’ She says it jokingly, but her attitude riles me.
‘I haven’t decided anything yet. At least give me some time to think about it.’
Floss crosses her arms and looks at me. ‘How much time do you need? I would have thought it was an easy decision. You know, since we slept together and since it was so “frigging magical”,’ she says, using air quotes.
Oh, so this is what she’s upset about. She’s annoyed that I have to think about becoming a vampire. That I’m not just automatically choosing her.
‘Seriously? This is a huge decision. You’ve put me in an impossible position. I’m either spending eternity as a vampire or spending the rest of my life not knowing you exist? And why would you think I’d be happy about that?’
‘Oh.’ Floss looks at me warily, and I can tell she’s dying to read my mind to find out how I feel about her.
I sigh. ‘Just do it. It’s not like I can keep any secrets from you anyway.’
She shakes her head.
I go over to her and put my arms around her, but it’s like hugging a statue. I stroke her back, kiss her temple, but she refuses to budge. ‘Just go, Damian.’
Floss mentioned her sire, Alexander, is stubborn. I’m beginning to see where she gets it from.
‘I don’t want to,’ I murmur. ‘I don’t want to leave you like this.’ Especially as now I’m worried she’s going to get Hester to memory-wipe me anyway. I might wake up tomorrow, and knowing her will be nothing but a lovely dream. It puts things into startling perspective.
I do some eyebrow gymnastics to make her laugh and get a wan smile.
‘Go home.’
‘No. Read my thoughts.’
She shakes her head again.
‘Please.’
She rolls her eyes. ‘Fine.’
Don’t make me live without you.
I tip up her chin and kiss her. It’s a little like kissing an ice sculpture, but I persist until she finally opens her mouth with a little moan and lets me swirl in my tongue.
I want to be with you. It’s a no-brainer.
Floss removes her lips from mine and stares at me. ‘Don’t think things you don’t mean.’
‘I do mean it, and I can prove it.’
‘How?’
‘Feed from me.’