Chapter Five
November
“Why did I think opening my own shop was a good idea?” my youngest brother asks.
His face fills my screen, his cheeks splattered with what is most likely grease, as our middle brother finally connects to our monthly call.
“Dude, you look like shit,” is the first thing Bowie says, and Teddy glares at the camera.
“Fuck you, dickhead,” he replies, wiping at his cheek, making the stain worse.
“No, I’m serious. Is everything okay?” Bowie asks, a hint of concern in his question. We might give each other shit half of the time, but we do really care for one another.
Teddy squeezes his eyes shut, a yawn tearing through him. “Yeah, just exhausted. I’ve been putting in extra hours at the shop so I can spend more time with the baby once he’s born,” he says, rubbing his hands down his face. “But it seems like as soon as the locals found out Ana was pregnant and I was taking on more clients, they all thought they were being helpful by actually giving me the work. I love them for it, but this whole small-town vibe they think they’ve got going doesn’t work when Phoenix is this big and word travels fast. I don’t think I’ve had a day off in months.”
“Thank god it’s almost the weekend, huh?” Bowie says optimistically.
“Weekend? What’s a weekend? I don’t know what those are anymore.” His gaze moves across his screen, and he frowns, leaning forward to assess the space I can only imagine is where my face is. “And then you’ve got this asshole all snuggled up in bed. Or are you walking around your house shirtless, showing off to your neighbors?”
Chuckling, I pull back my phone, panning the camera down my body. “Nah, dude, in bed. And like you, I also don’t know what weekends are anymore either.”
“But that was your choice,” Teddy sulks before perking up. “Wait… what’s the time there?”
“Eight-thirty,” I supply, tugging my comforter farther up my chest. “We’re only three hours ahead of you. That’s basic math.”
Teddy huffs, and his dirty blond hair puffs off his forehead. “Eight-thirty. Fuck, I’ll be lucky if I finish at eight-thirty.”
“If you’re worried about money, I can give—”
Teddy holds his hand up, cutting me off. “I’m not worried about money. I just want to continue not having to worry about money.” He half-laughs, half-huffs. “Apparently, having kids is expensive.”
“If you’re sure?” Bowie asks, and Teddy nods.
“Yeah, and I appreciate it, I do, but we’re good. Ana’s good, the baby’s good, the shop’s doing good…everything is good.”
“So good that you’ll be coming back for Thanksgiving at the end of the month?” I ask, hopeful. It’s been far too long since we were all under one roof.
Since Bowie returned from the Amazon, where he spent nearly ten years working for National Geographic, we’ve been lucky if the family has gotten together twice a year, especially since Teddy lives across the country.
He shakes his head, his face falling. “Can’t. Ana’s got a huge campaign due before the holiday, and she can’t take time off. Plus, the flight prices are astronomical.”
“I thought you were working over Thanksgiving anyway, Wyatt? Doesn’t your little princess have a show or whatever?” Bowie asks, and I shake my head.
“No, Phillipa flies with the team when it’s a competition and Mr. Cartwright can’t fly out to Tokyo for it,” I say. “Plus, it’s like the week before Thanksgiving anyway.”
Bowie claps his hands together, smirking into the camera. “So the plane will be free? Good thing we just so happen to have someone in the family who could fly Teddy and Ana out here himself, then.”
I point at myself. “Me?”
“Yes, you, dumbass. It’s not like I could fly Teddy in that fancy-as-fuck plane of yours now, could I?”
Teddy snorts as I roll my eyes. “Except it’s not mine, and I can’t fly it any time I like.”
Even if I do wish it was.
“But I bet if you asked your boss, he’d be all like, why yes, Wyatt, my favorite employee, take whatever you need, ” Bowie mocks, adopting a pseudo-posh voice that sounds nothing like my boss. “That man sucks up your ass. There’s no way he’d say no. Which is good of him, considering you want to bone his daughter.”
“I wish I never told you that,” I mumble, quiet enough that neither brother can hear me. I stare at Bowie’s image, hoping that if I don’t comment further, Teddy won’t notice and instead tease, “You’d know all about ass-sucking, right?”
“It’s almost as good as my dick-sucking,” Bowie smirks.
“Walked right into that one, Wy,” Teddy laughs, but his expression shifts, and I mentally prepare myself. It appears our younger sibling is more astute than I gave him credit for. “Wait, hold up, you want to fuck your boss's daughter? As in, your new boss? The one with the famous kid?”
Kid. I want to roll my eyes at Teddy’s assessment of Mr. Cartwright’s daughter. She is definitely not a kid.
“How many bosses do you think Wyatt’s had?” Bowie asks, only to be hushed by Teddy as he blinks, wide-eyed at the camera, waiting for my answer.
I grimace as a hot prickle of discomfort scatters over my skin. “Uh…”
“Yeah, he does.” Bowie unhelpfully answers for me. “Not that the boss knows. Wy won’t even admit it to himself most days.”
“Gross, dude, isn’t she super young?”
“Twenty-two,” Bowie replies.
“I’m right here, asshole,” I snap, irritation slowly rising to the same level of love I have for my brothers. Usually, I live for these monthly catch-ups, but not today.
“Yeah, but you’re also a secretive bastard, so there’s no wonder you kept that little nugget of information to yourself,” Teddy taunts. “What are you going to do about it?”
“What do you mean? I’m not going to do a thing,” I tell him, my voice serious. Because entertaining doing something over an attraction that would be undoubtedly mind-blowing for a night, but could ultimately fuck up my career, is serious. “I love my job. Mr. Cartwright is a great guy to work for, and I’m not exactly going to quit because Phillipa might single-handedly be the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen. So no, I’m not going to do a damn thing about it.”
Teddy hums to himself. “Yeah, I mean, I get it. You’re old. But you’re not that old, so I guess if you’re worried about getting it up, and that’s why you won’t do anything, there are pills for that.”
“Hey, I have no problem getting it up. But were you not listening? I could get fired ,” I tell him, but the reminder is for me, too.
Bowie gives me a small smile in understanding, but my much younger brother still doesn’t get it.
“So? That’s what makes it hotter, Wy. Don’t tell me that the whole forbidden, taboo, sneaking-around-with-the-chance-of-getting-caught thing doesn’t get you going?”
“Dude?” Bowie chokes on a laugh. “What the hell?”
Teddy casually lifts a shoulder. “Ana’s got these dirty books where the big mafia bad guy ends up banging the kid of his enemy. Not gonna lie, hot as fuck.”
“And you read them?” I ask.
“Yeah, we haven’t been sleeping great. Y’know me with the stress of the shop, her with the baby apparently being nocturnal. But one chapter later, we’re reenacting all the dirty bits.” He waggles his eyebrows salaciously. “Maybe you can do that with your girl, Wyatt.”
“See what you’ve started?” I ask Bowie, my heart doing a noticeable jump at your girl. Bowie grins, which pisses me off enough to spill a secret of his, too, taking the heat off me. “Well, Bowie has a crush on his client and wants to fuck him.”
“Wyatt,” Bowie snarls.
Teddy’s eyes widen, but his expression quickly transforms with a wicked smirk. Even in the small image on the phone, I can tell he’s enjoying this far too much.
“Oh, I see how it is. You both keep shit from me now. Who is it?”
“No one,” Bowie growls, and Teddy’s shoulders deflate.
“Man, I hate not living near you guys. I miss out on all the drama,” he says petulantly.
“You’re not missing much, brother,” I reassure him. “But we do miss you.”
“Yeah, me, too,” Bowie agrees. “But I like that our brotherly video call still happens even though I’m no longer in the Amazon.”
“Ten bucks, Wy,” Teddy grins, his melancholy disappearing. “He mentioned the Amazon within the first fifteen minutes of our call.”
We laugh, and Bowie flips us the middle finger.
“Okay, so speaking of your boss who loves you in a not-completely creepy way, have you been anywhere nice lately?” he asks, steering the conversation back to me.
I shake my head. “Same old, same old. I flew him to St. Barths the other day.”
“Lucky fucker, isn’t he.” Teddy snorts. “Any new tattoos?” At least he’s changing the subject to something I can stand.
I pull down the sheets and angle the camera toward my hip, showing them the new ink near the bottom of my ribs. In muted colors sits a vintage Mustang, similar to the one Teddy restored with our dad. “Totally forgot I got this done a couple of months ago.”
“That’s sick. Have you shown Dad yet?” Bowie asks, at the same time Teddy questions, “How many have you got now?”
I shrug. “Your guess is as good as mine. And no, I haven’t shown Dad yet, but I will this weekend when I go for dinner.”
“Urgh, and I miss that too. All the dinners Mom makes for you,” Teddy groans.
“Nice, when are you going? I’ll come too,” Bowie asks, talking over our brother.
“No idea, but I’ll text Sadie after I land tomorrow and see when they’re free. I’ll let you know, though.”
“Dude, why don’t you call her ‘Mom’? I really don’t get it,” Teddy asks as he props his phone up to lift something round and silver into view and starts to polish it. “I mean, she basically is your mom.”
“Teddy,” Bowie warns with a pointed look, but he ignores him, his attention not on the screen but instead on whatever he’s doing.
“What? It’s weird, right? Our mom has been his mom for almost his whole life, but he still calls her Sadie. I know she’d love it if you called her that.”
My stomach turns to lead as tension seeps into my shoulders and down my back. Yes, Sadie isn’t my biological mother, and yes, she has been in my life since I was nine, but bringing myself to call her Mom …
I tried—really tried—for the first year, but then Bowie and Teddy were born, and it didn’t feel right. She was their mom, not mine.
The silence across the phone is deafening, the distance in the states between us like a chasm. I know what Teddy wants me to say, but I can’t.
“I just think that... I mean... It’s not—”
“Wyatt, aren’t we keeping you up?” Bowie interrupts, and I give him a grateful smile.
“What? No!” Teddy exclaims. “It’s too early.”
“He’s right. Sorry, but getting up at three a.m. isn’t going to feel good if I don’t get my sleep.”
“But it’s still light out,” he tries to argue.
I laugh, the sound hollow. “That’s the light from my lamp. I have blackout curtains, Teddy, so it will be pitch dark as soon as I switch it off.”
He grabs his phone, the camera shaking until it steadies on his face. “Fine, I better go get some food anyway. Speak soon?”
Bowie nods as I say, “Yeah, give Ana our love.”
“Will do. Later losers.”
“Bye, dickhead,” Bowie says, and I click the end-call button without a word.
I stare at the blank screen of my phone. Teddy doesn’t understand. He’s never lived not knowing one of his parents, all the while being completely aware that she’s out there somewhere, just doesn’t care enough to be part of his life. Of having to live with an emptiness inside his soul, and no matter how much he tries to fill it, nothing ever does.
Nothing good comes from wallowing, especially when I’m about to sleep. Reaching behind my nightstand, I grab my charger and plug in my cell before checking my alarm. Just as I’m about to set it down, it vibrates in my hand.
Bowie
Ignore Teddy. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Mom knows you love her no matter what you call her.
I stare at his text, my fingers hovering over the keypad, but I don’t reply. Releasing a breath, I place the device face down and turn off the light. Lying on my back, I stare into the darkness, my mind racing, my stomach churning, until finally, I drift off to sleep.