Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
Cam
Even in a packed venue filled with the elite of the Harrisburg sports world as well as politicians, including the governor, I always looked for Jari.
He seemed at ease for the most part. We’d had one hell of a couple’s session—I was still processing the fact that he and I were now a couple at least in his therapist’s office, so yay for small steps—last week.
It had left him vulnerable but seemingly more resilient.
It had left me deeper in love and with a burning wish to punch Aarni Lankinen in the face repeatedly.
The man was a vile excuse for a human being.
I mean wow. My uncle was a bastard, no doubt, and had pushed his son far too hard to be something he wasn’t, but Kirby’s dad didn’t hold a candle to the sheer malevolence of Jari’s dad.
I mean you had to sink pretty low to beat out my uncle, but Aarni was certainly the king of the slurry pond.
I had spent a sleepless night after that session, telling myself that hopping on a jet to Finland to beat the snot out of my lover’s father was a bad idea.
As was hiring someone to do it for me. The second option had merit, but I didn’t know anyone offhand who knew people.
The kind of people who would shove Aarni in front of a train.
It had taken all my self-restraint, a call to Doc G, and half a chocolate layer cake to get my savior complex in check.
If this kept up I wouldn’t fit in my uniform come February.
Which was another worrisome thing to fret over but not now.
Now Jari and I were together, secretly still, yes, but together.
He spent most nights in my bed. He spoke of coming out in some far-off dreamy way a child does of being a circus horse performer.
As if it were a dream too far from their concept of reality to ever come true.
I refused to push. He would work it out in his own way and in his own time with me at his side.
Not saving him but standing with him. Man, it was hard.
“I’ll take a slice of that coconut cake, please,” I said to a waiter passing by with desserts for the guests.
He slid me a plate then rushed off. Standing by the tables lined with donations that were to be auctioned, I picked up the gold-plated fork and cut off a wedge of cake.
Chewing gently, I realized I had lost track of Jari.
Noah Gunnarson was here with his boyfriend as were his fathers, all seated with Tennant and Jared as well as a few other Railers.
Many of the Iron Horses had flown in to give their support and their checks, as well as a few of the Express players.
“Buddy, you eating cake?” I glanced to my left to find Yanni—all dressed up with a pretty blonde bombshell on his arm—grinning at me. He patted my still flat stomach. “I thought you were averse to all that processed sugar and flour.”
“Mm, well, it’s a special event,” I said around the cake in my mouth.
“Looks like a successful night. I told Jerry that he best show up or I’d fill his cup with bukovo the next time I had the chance.
” I snickered. Yanni was known to fill cups with a wide variety of stuff none of which were pleasant.
Jerry Langton, our second baseman, not only was here, but he’d also donated one of his gloves and had sent us a large check.
“Jerry’s cup is safe. He showed up big time,” I told my catcher. “So, who is this lovely lady?”
As Yanni introduced me to Kymberly—an influencer on IG who told me I needed to use more moisturizer to counteract my age lines—I spied Jari taking a seat with his teammates.
His gaze met mine. We exchanged nods. It sucked.
I would never say that to him but not being able to be with him all night as his date was harsh.
This was where Jari and I were. We were moving through our days pretending life was good but one wrong look caught by a press member could cause trouble. So, we played the roles of being renter and landlord in public, while privately we were so deeply in love it fogged the mind.
“Hey, the auction is over now, and the dancing is starting. You ready to dance or are you too smitten?” I blinked out of my murky thoughts and looked at Yanni. “Smitten. With your cake?”
“Oh, right. The cake. So much coconut. Yeah, dancing. Excellent. I need a partner. I came stag.” Yanni pushed his date at me while plucking my cake dish from my hand.
I smiled down at Kymberly as I led her out onto the dance floor.
My gaze darted to Jari watching us then came back to my dance partner.
She rambled on about my skin and her lip injections which she suggested I get as my lips were flat and not at all pouty.
I nodded, made the right noises and led her away from Jari.
If I couldn’t see his table, I couldn’t see him.
Avoidance. A recommended way to handle a problem.
Not.
It was well after three a.m. when we arrived home.
Snow was falling at a gentle rate. Just enough to make things slippery. Jari and I stood outside the pool house, staring at each other.
“You look tired,” I whispered as if anyone could hear us. They couldn’t. The only ears were ours, the only eyes the security cameras which I had made sure to steer us out of view of before we possibly kissed. “Would you like to go to bed?”
“Your bed, yes. Tonight was… long.” I brushed a flake from his nose. “Seeing you dance with all those women when you should have been dancing with me was fucking awful.”
“Agreed. But it’s just for now. Once you’re comfortable enough things will change.”
“What if I’m never brave enough?”
I tipped his chin up so that I could look into those sad, dark eyes. “Then we continue as we are.”
“I would hate that future. I have to think there’s a brighter one.”
“There is, I promise. Come on, let’s go to bed. The world will look better in the morning.”
It did. Incredibly so.
The snow had slowed to just a few feathery flakes gliding past my bedroom windows.
The sun was out, bright and cold, and Jari was splayed out alongside me.
Long legs taking up three-quarters of the bed, hair tangled, face soft in sleep.
I lay beside him, awake for some time now as my bladder had poked me into wakefulness an hour ago.
I’d snuck into the master bath then back to bed, my lover never twitching.
Now he was coming around, his long thick lashes flickering open then closed a few times before his eyes latched onto me.
“Creeper,” he mumbled.
“Creeper in a good way or a bad way?”
He rolled to his back, his cheek showing the pillow marks. “Is there a good way to be a creeper?”
“Sure.” He cocked an expressive brow. “Those things that roll under cars are good.”
“Wow, you are so weird.” I stole a kiss, then another, and then one more.
“You are so beautiful.”
“Pfft. I have sleepy gunk in my eyes and my breath reeks of the fish paté on those little crackers that they served last night.”
“I love salmon breath.”
“Such a freak.”
“You love me though,” I teased, placing my hand to his bare chest to feel the warmth of his skin. “How do you feel about turkey and stuffing?”
“Uhm… okay, I guess. Is that what we’re having for breakfast?”
“No, no, I’m just… okay, hear me out.” I bolstered my head in my hand as he moved to lie on his side to better see me.
“I’d like to take you to Thanksgiving dinner at Kirby’s.
” His eyes went wide with fear. “No, don’t worry.
We don’t have to make it into something.
We can just be there as friends. He knows you’re renting the pool house and that we’re buddies.
Shared jock mentality and proximity and all that.
I go to his place in Baltimore every year.
He’s pretty much all the family that I have so if I could share that day with you it would be extra special.
But if it makes you feel too uncomfortable then don’t give it another thought. ”
He took a long time to mull it over. Which was good. Leaping into something could be—
“Okay.”
“Oh. Are you sure? You can take today to think about it. Thanksgiving isn’t until next Thursday, so we have plenty of time to let Joy know to set another plate.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m sure. I want to get to know the people in your life better. I need to push on the boundaries a little. To test the water. If Kirby and Joy were to guess about us would they be cool?”
“Oh, hell yeah, totally cool. They’re both huge allies and know that I’m bisexual. Never had any issue with any guys that I dated so if they guessed they’d be totally okay.” I gave his left pectoral a squeeze. Firm. Yummy.
“Then sure, yeah, let’s eat that stuffing with them. Should we bring anything? I don’t know much about your Thanksgiving. We do a smaller gathering on December sixth for celebrating Finland’s independence day but other than that…”
“I usually just bring some cold duck for the adults and a bottle of bubbly grape juice for the twins. You’re going to love their boys!” I kissed him loudly. “Thank you for being so… perfectly you. I’ll text Kirby as soon as I make love to you.”
“I have morning skate at nine,” he softly reminded me then flung the covers aside to expose all that firm, pale skin. Double yummy.
“What happens if you’re late?” I slithered over top of him, rubbing our now stiffening cocks together.
“Bag skates.” He grabbed my ass to keep me pinned to him, his hips rolling.
“Sounds terrible. I’ll be quick.”
“Hmm, no, take your time.”
So, I did. He was quite late. Coach was not impressed. Bag skates ensued. He assured me it was fine and that I could rub the soreness from his overworked thighs when he got home.
Which I also did because I’m just that kind of guy. The kind who’s crazy in love.
My mother used to say that hindsight is twenty-twenty.
In retrospect bringing Jari into a small suburban house with two three-year-old boys might not have been the best thing to do.
After being here for an hour Jari looked shellshocked.
An emotion Archie and Max did tend to bring out in old people at the grocery store, their daycare providers, the neighbor across the street, and their pediatrician.
They were twin dervishes who glommed onto people they liked like barnacles.
Jari had made the mistake of bringing the boys storybooks as a gift.
He also gifted Joy with Lindt chocolates and Kirby with rich pastries from a local bakery. Thoughtful gifts from a lovely man.
“Okay, so if someone can peel the boys off Jari we can sit down to eat. Shit! I forgot the cranberry sauce. Kirby, get the boys into their boosters. Cam, can you start carving the turkey?” Joy shouted over her shoulder as she raced back into the kitchen.
“Huh?” Kirby gasped, lifting one lad to his seat as the other tried to dig so far into his nose that he was about to poke his brain.
Jari sat in his seat, wide-eyed, as I pulled the finger out of Archie’s nose then wiped it off with my sleeve.
“I’m sorry. Who is carving the turkey? That job belongs to the man of the house.
Which is me. Maxwell, please stop trying to help. It’s not helping.”
“Someone is fragile,” I stage-whispered to Jari who cracked a smile.
Kirby scowled then flung a dinner roll at my head.
It bounced off my temple to the floor where the family dog, Woof, a mix breed beagle/poodle/something with a curly tail, pounced on it.
“Let me get the boys seated. You carve,” I said to Kirby after plunking Archie into his booster.
“No! Don’t let him anywhere near that electric carving knife!
” Joy said, reappearing from the kitchen with a platter holding six logs of jellied cranberry.
Six. Six logs. “The last time he tried to carve a roast he cut through the table and ruined my great-grandmother’s beloved wooden meat trencher. ”
“Well, if great granny Gerturde wasn’t serving her guests pork roast on a wooden dish like we were dining with Vikings in some hall in Finland that wouldn’t have happened.”
“Actually, most of the Vikings weren’t Finnish. They were our neighbors and they traded with us Fenni but spoke a different language,” Jari softly interjected into the chaos.
“See, now you’ve offended our special guest,” Joy chided her husband before placing a log of cranberry on Jari’s already overflowing dish. And we’d not even gotten to the bird yet.
“I thought I was the special guest.” I frowned at Archie who giggled gleefully at my pain.
“No, you’re family. Jari is special because this is his first and probably last time dining with us,” Joy explained then dropped a log on my plate. “I couldn’t find lingonberry canned for the meal, so I hope this is acceptable?”
“Very yes, thank you. It’s all very much.”
I gave Jari’s knee a squeeze under the table.
“I never meant to insult you, Jari.” Kirby seemed stricken as he battled to get Max buckled into his seat.
Woof pawed at my leg. I fed him a cooked carrot.
He seemed pleased. Archie was finally seated, belted, and ready to dive in.
I gave him a cooked carrot as well. He also seemed pleased.
The carrot and his wild hair were the same color.
“You didn’t. It’s fine. Truly. I’m very happy to be at your table.
This is nice.” Jari smiled at Joy and Kirby with sincerity.
I placed my hands on the table to avoid Woof licking my fingers.
“My family is… well, far away. Not close much aside from my mother. This is… thank you for having me. I look forward to eating the turkey and stuffing. Cam is very lucky to have you all in his life.” He placed his hand atop mine, right there for everyone and the dog to see—well not the dog as he was too short—but everyone else.
I was shocked. I slid my hand around to rest the back on the cloth-covered table. His fingers meshed with mine.
“We’re lucky to have you in our lives as well,” Joy said then dashed a tear away with her napkin. Kirby gave our hands a glance then threw me a knowing look. He said nothing. That would come later when we were alone. I found that I welcomed it.
“Family is important,” Kirby said as I rubbed my thumb over Jari’s pulse. Calm, steady. “Welcome to the madness that is Chez Blackburn.” Jari blushed. “So, Jari,” Kirby asked as his wife began to carve the turkey. “I need ideas for my next book. Are there any uniquely Finnish ways to kill someone?”
“Kirby!” Joy gasped. “Not in front of the boys.”
“Well, you could lock someone in a sauna,” Jari offered and Kirby’s eyes lit up. “Or they could choke to death on some salmon soup or be gored by a reindeer.”
Yep, Jari had just adopted a cousin. And a new, slightly madcap family if he wanted it. He already possessed my heart.