Chapter 9
CHAPTER
NINE
Riley
Six months later
It’s been six months since I walked out of Flyboy’s hospital room. Every day that I come into this hospital I have to fight with every ounce of my being to not go to him, not to check on his progress, or even fucking think about the asshole. I thought it would get easier to ignore him and my feelings surrounding him when they moved him over to the rehab building. Only two short months later, my best friend graduated and became a licensed Physical Therapist, getting her very first job in that building where he now temporarily resides.
I was over the moon for her and the fact she is finally able to follow her dreams. I scroll through the never-ending job listing on Indeed for the millionth and one time looking for a job for a Physical Therapist assistant position, not finding anything that pays close to what I earn hourly as an E.R. nurse. I also refuse to look anywhere close to here seeing as the shadows of my past are closing in on me fast.
Brother: Little girls who hide and keep secrets get punished.
The night I received the message from my brother I wanted to run so far away that no one would ever be able to find me. I will never admit to anyone that Flyboy could be the reason I’m staying in town. I’ll keep lying to myself and anyone that asks, saying that that I’m staying for Avery and the Ol’ Ladies. I’m a glutton for punishment. I never learn my lessons, you’d think after all the times he’s cut me down I’d take a step back, but I can’t seem to resist the magnetic pull he has over me and my good senses.
Groaning, I drop my head into my arms that are folded over the paper scattered across the nurse’s station. What the fuck am I doing?
“What’s with all that?” I nearly come out of my skin at the sound of Avery’s voice talking right behind me.
“I swear to God, you are a fucking ninja sometimes.” I glare at her once my heart starts to settle and stops trying to beat out of my chest.
“I wouldn’t have to be a ninja when you’re so lost in your own head that you block out the world around you,” Avery chastises with a hand propped on her hip.
“Mind your own business. Let me stay lost in LaLa land if I want to.” Standing, I pull her into a tight hug.
Shaking her head, she sighs. “You’re officially off of work so we are going to go grab ourselves some breakfast.” She starts pulling away from me. “And you, my dear friend, are going to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
“Just trying to find a place to go.” I shrug before turning away from her so she can’t see the lie simmering in my eyes.
I turn away from her and head for the employee locker room. I change out of my scrubs, and dress in my regular clothes, thankful that it’s been a fairly slow night. Once I make it back to Avery, and almost out the door, the tones drop letting me know that the day shift is starting off their day with bang. That’s when it hits me that Avery’s with me and not at work today.
I turn to her just as I go to step into my car, asking, “Ma’am, do you want to tell me why you’re not currently at work?” I raise an eyebrow at her in question.
“Not that you would know since I haven’t seen you, nor have I hardly spoken to your twatwaffle self in nearly two months, but my very first client is a complete jackass and will be in at ten. So, I’ve got exactly two hours to grill you on life and get there in time for our session. Now, let's get moving before I starve to death.” Avery acts as if she is going to pass out from hunger.
“You are so damn dramatic.” I genuinely laugh for the first time in what feels like fucking forever.
“It’s why you love me.” She blows me a kiss as she walks to her car.
I unlock my car and drop into the driver’s seat, beyond happy to be out of the hospital and headed for breakfast. We make it to our favorite place, “Out of the pan into the FIRE”. I smile when we walk into the restaurant seeing all the firefighter memorabilia. All of the guys that work at the place are also current or retired firefighters. They opened this place to raise money for the local area fire houses.
We find a seat quickly, which is rare in this place. Without a moment of thought, two coffees appear in front of us. Looking up, I see Nickels standing there grinning wide.
“Well, if it isn't two of my favorite E.R. nurses gracing us with their presence.” Nickels winks before walking away.
“Damn, that man has an ass.” Avery not so quietly whispers to me.
Laughing, I smack her on the arm not even bothering to look at the menu due to the fact that I always order the same thing every time I come into this place.
“You know I’m speaking the truth. Now, tell me what’s going on. Six months ago, you were out of here, and now that I no longer work in the E.R. I never hear from you.” The hurt I hear in her voice gives me pause.
“To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. I need to be long gone from here. My past is so close that I can taste it. Yet, I can’t bring myself to leave,” I tell her, shredding the napkin in my hand, too ashamed to look at her.
“Riley!” The way that she says my name brings my eyes up to hers. “When’ll you let us in? Tell us what you’re so damn afraid of. You know I would do anything in the world to protect you. Hell, at this point, the brothers in the club would too.”
I know she would do anything for me and that she believes that the brothers would do the same. The thing I know without a doubt, is that when they find out that I’m not only connected to a rival club but the daughter of the president, then they wouldn’t do anything but hand me over to the enemy and wash their hands of me. The club would never believe anything I told them in regard to the fact that I landed in this town by complete accident.
“There’s so much. I don’t even know where I would even try to start when it comes to explaining this. What I do know, is that if the club learned who my family is they would be beyond pissed off.” I reach out grabbing her hands, making sure I’ve got her full attention. “Avery, I’ve broken so many fucking MC rules and regulations when it comes to being here, that they would be justified in any action they decide to take. I just can’t trust them enough to chance it. I’ve already spent too much time with them. Because, when they find out, and they will, they’re all going to feel as if I’ve betrayed them just because of who I am. It’ll be better for me and for them if I just make a clean break of things and head out of town before the option is no longer there.”
I stop talking when Nickels reappears to take our order. Not to say that I don’t trust him but you’ve got to be careful when and where you say things in a town filled with an MC. Nothing happens here without them knowing about it.
“Are you beautiful ladies getting your usual?” He winks with his boyish smirk.
He really is a very good-looking man in that rugged, all-American cowboy sorta way. He is big and broad, with dark brown hair and soulful brown eyes. He has a full sleeve of tattoos running up and down both arms that make you want to see exactly where they lead.
“Sounds right to me. Riles, is that good with you?” Avery smiles over at me. I notice right away that it’s not her normal bright and happy one.
I just nod, studying her closer, seeing that she has lost some weight and is holding herself stiffly. This action tells me that she is hurt and trying to hide it from observers. I continue watching her as she talks and laughs with Nickels, noticing more and more all the things that I’ve missed by having my head shoved up my own ass these last six months. Once Nickels walks away, I narrow my eyes on Avery.
She turns back to me and stops short, looking at me anxiously. “Why are you glaring at me?”
“You want to tell me who I’m burying?” Holding my hand up to stop her next words, I confront her. “Avery, I know that look. The stiffness in your body. The long sleeves you’re wearing when it’s hot enough outside that you could fry eggs on the hood of your car. Hell, woman, your makeup is even applied thicker than normal. Tell me exactly who is dying today. I can’t believe I’ve been so caught up in my own shit that I’ve missed this,” I whisper, sadness and regret swamping me.
Avery chews on her bottom lip, letting me know that this heifer is working hard to hide a smile. Sorrow turns to anger and frustration like a light switch being flipped and illuminating the room.
“Why in the ever-loving hell are you trying to hide a smile? I’m not even joking! This situation is beyond serious. You know I love you and would never judge you in any way. I just want to kill whoever did this to you.” I’m practically shouting by the time I’m done talking.
“I’m trying not to smile because it’s absolutely amazing to see my fiery best friend for the first time in eons. I’ve fucking missed you more than I’ve been missing my sleep lately.” Avery is smiling wide at this point.
I slink back into my seat and cross my arms over my chest. Knowing that her words aren’t meant to hurt me, she’s only trying to be honest in regard to the depression and despair I’ve been lost inside of over the last ten months.
“Now, about who needs to be buried. There isn’t anyone that needs to be taken care of, not like you think. You know that my mom has some seriously nasty and ugly mental health issues. Well, let’s say about a month ago, she went off the deep end and I walked in during one of her breakdowns, and she took it out on me. I went from her loving and adored daughter to being filled with diabolical demons. Luckily, I was able to get myself out of the house, Ax was coming by and found me.” The sadness that settles in her eyes tells me that things were a lot worse than she would ever acknowledge.
I reach across the table taking her hand in mine, stating, “I will not grill you or tell you how we both know things aren’t okay. You already know that. What I’ll say right now, is that I love you, and that I’m beyond happy that you didn’t have to do it alone. That’s how you’ve always done things, so to know that you allowed someone in and to take care of things that just makes my heart swell with such happiness. I love you!” I finish just as a single tear slides down my cheek.
“You heifer, stop right this second before we both start crying.” Avery grins as our food shows up.
She smiles wide at Nickels, telling him, “You always have the best timing. This looks absolutely amazing!’
“You ladies let me know if you need anything else.” Nickels smirks at me before turning to leave.
Avery and I dig into our food, talking about the little things happening in our lives. Never anything too serious and over-the-top, we’re both over deep, meaningful conversations. Once we are finished and in the best food coma of my life, we pay our bills and head for the door. I’m beyond ready for bed by the time we make it across the parking lot to our cars. I reach for my door handle, clicking the button to unlock it, excited that I’m one step closer to climbing into my bed. The roar of motorcycles paralyzes me to the point that I see dark spots dancing behind my eyelids from holding my breath.
Once the sound has passed, I can finally breathe. I rush, pulling open the door, crawling in, and try to calm my nerves enough to get my hands to stop shaking long enough to get the key into the ignition and the car started. Once it’s running, I squeal the tires in a rush to get home and behind the safety of the walls of my home. When I pull into the driveway, I toss my car in park, barely taking the time to turn it off and pull the keys loose from the ignition before rushing for the front door. I make it up the porch swiftly, my hands trembling so bad that I can’t get the key inserted into the look.
“Son of a fucking bitch,” I hiss when the keys slip from my fingers and hit the white board of my porch.
Reaching down, I pick them up, and once again, I struggle to get the key in the locks. Fear is wrapping around me with its long, cold fingers, pinching off all of my air flow. Once the key is successfully in the lock and the door finally open, I rush into the house slamming it shut behind me. I turn around and bolt the four different styles of locks that run up the side of the solid front door. Once it’s locked, the frigid fingers wrapped around my throat start to ease and loosen their tight hold over me. I lean my forehead on the door as my breathing starts to even out.
I’ve got no idea how long I stand there feeling crazy and ready to break. Taking a breath and finally feeling like I can hold my shit together, I decide to make my way across my living room, stripping my clothes as I go, leaving a trail behind me. Once I reach my bedroom, I peel back the weighted blanket, and dark blue sheets, climbing in and allowing the darkness to pull me into slumber. I’m out before my head ever hits the pillow.