Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
Riley
I make it into the hallway and take a calming, centering breath while preparing to make my way out of the clubhouse. I want to believe Steel when he says that all the members will be gone, however, I can’t count how many times I was told that before only to walk out into a sea of brothers. To only be hurt over and over again. When I feel as if I have myself under control, even if only a small amount, I start making my way down the hall into the main room, shocked by the fact that there is actually no one in the room.
Relaxing, I lean back against the wall when the door to the kitchen opens. I take a small step back getting ready to run for the front door when Edge comes strolling through the threshold. She sees me standing there and cocks her head to the side, watching me. I give her a small wave and a weak, trembling smile.
A small grin spreads across her face before she speaks, saying, “Oh sweetie. I know that look. Come here and sit.”
I open my mouth to say what, I’ve got no idea.
“Before you say no, let's just start with one drink,” she fiercely says, enough so, that it leaves no room for argument.
“It’s staying here that makes me want to say no. The guys said they are getting ready to call church, which means, there’ll be a lot of men in here soon,” I whisper, looking at my feet.
Edge winks at me before grabbing a bottle of Whiskey and a bottle of Fireball. “Drinks acquired. This place has the most amazing pool and patio area. Let’s go out back and I’ll let Razor know that no one is allowed to come out there and disturb us. What do you say?”
I roll her words around in my head. I’m detecting no traces of any lies coming from her. I watch as she pulls her phone out and sends off a message. She looks back up at me, raising an eyebrow; and shaking the bottles she holds her fists. I don’t even try and hide the smile that stretches across my face at her antics.
“Yeah. A drink sounds good! I’ll follow you,” I say with more confidence than I feel.
“Hell, yeah! I’ve run out of drinking buddies around here. So, don’t you go getting yourself knocked up.” Edge laughs, leading me down the long hallway.
“You don’t have to worry about that. There is no one getting near this anytime soon, and even if they could, there’s no way for me to have a baby,” I tell her, stopping when the words leave my mouth, not understanding why I just blurted that out to her.
Edge snorts, before stating, “Woman, the men in the building have super sperm and will knock up a woman with the heat in their eyes alone.”
We make it down the hall and through the door that leads out to the bright, summer light of the yard. When my eyes finally adjust, I take in what can only be described as a small oasis. There is a large swimming pool straight ahead, to my left is a huge outdoor kitchen with a ginormous T.V, and to my right, there are a few loungers and tables set up.
“Holy shit, this place is amazing. I would never leave if I had access to this all the time,” I say in awe.
“I fucking know, right? It’s the best thing. What makes it even better is that every new Ol’ lady adds their own little touches, making it more and more amazing!” Edge smiles over her shoulder at me as she takes a seat on one of the loungers just under the shade.
“What did you add?” I wonder, following her to sit on the lounger to her right.
“All of the lounge chairs and tables. I also had them build this massive patio cover to provide shade. I needed somewhere for Starla to play but not be in the direct path of the sunlight.” Edge takes a sip of the Fireball before trying to hand it over to me.
“Whiskey, please. Fireball tends to make me feel invincible, like I have enough strength to fight grown men,” I chuckle, grabbing the bottle and taking a long pull of it.
“I want to see fighter Riley. Maybe you and Vixen can get in the ring and do some sparring.” Edge’s eyes light up at the idea.
I want to hide and pretend that this could indeed be my life. It’s not going to be, and I must make sure that Edge understands that. There’s no way in hell that a smart Prez will go to war for some random woman. I fight back the demons deciding to invade my life during this moment.
“Edge, as much as I’d love that, we both know that after church, I’m going to be kicked flat on my ass to the other side of the gate. So, let's drink so that I can forget the hell yet to come.” I laugh, and even to my ears, it sounds slightly unhinged.
Edge looks over at me with eyes full of pity, telling me that she understands how I’m feeling. “Let me ask, what are we running away from and who are we hiding from?”
I choke on the swig of the whiskey I’d just swallowed, not expecting her to be so up front. I turn looking out over the oasis in front of me, trying to think through my answer.
“To be honest, at this point in my life, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I came here to finish my clinical hours before moving on. Then, I met some of the most amazing people in the world. This caused me to lose track of time. Now, here I am, waiting for another MC to turn me out to the wolves so they can save their own asses,” I ramble, once again, not understanding why I’m telling her all of this.
“So, you're running and hiding. You’ve decided that you're not going to let the club help?” she hisses out the accusation after taking a long pull from the bottle in her hand.
Her words are like a punch to the gut. Have I decided that I’m not going to let the club help me?
“What other option do I have? I cannot bring my shit into your lives,” I say, flopping back onto the lounge chair I’m sitting on, taking a long pull of the bottle in my hand.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I jump at the sound of Vixen’s voice.
I turn, watching her and Candy make their way over to us. I swallow hard, not ready for what I know is about to come. They’re about to spend, who knows how long, trying to convince me that my idea of what's going on isn’t true. I take another long pull off the bottle in my hand in the hopes that I won't buckle under the pressure of their glares and demands.
I tilt my head in Vixen and Candy’s direction, looking Vixen in the eye before I speak, again. “No, I’m not fucking kidding you. Everyone in this building knows it’s a motherfucking bad idea for me to stay here, bringing all of my crazy with me!”
I’m completely gobsmacked when Vixen and Edge both burst out laughing like a bunch of hyenas.
“Riles, my dear, are you sure that you know these men at all?” Vixen chuckles, wiping tears from her eyes.
Narrowing my eyes, I snap, “That’s just it! I don’t know these guys any better than I would a stranger. You guys don’t know my history, or even understand what I’ve been through.”
The ladies stop laughing, looking at me with looks of recognition and connectedness that it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to let them see anger and sadness that hides behind my well-constructed walls.
“You do know them! You spent months around them at the hospital. Did they ever show you any signs of aggression? Did they give you the idea that they would hurt you?” Vixen queries as she takes the bottle Edge is holding.
“That’s just it. What you see out in public isn’t always the truth behind closed doors. I mean fuck, my dad’s club were the best guys in the world until they got themselves wrapped up in drugs and all the other bullshit. Then, nothing else mattered, everyone and everything was free game,” I hiss, the ire from years of torment and torture leaking through.
“Do you know any of our backstories, or how we came to be here?” Edge retorts, sharing a look with both Candy and Vixen.
I search their faces, trying to understand what they’re attempting to tell me without speaking the words. After what seems like an eternity, I give up, and go back to my bottle of whiskey.
“What is your guy's story? Edge you never did tell me when we were living together,” Candy says, speaking more than I’ve heard her voice in a singular sentence since I showed up here.
Vixen and Edge share a meaningful look, silently conversing, as only two people who have gone through some traumatic shit can. Eventually, they both turn back to me; a decision being made between them.
“Edge and I are cousins. Our parents were best friends and siblings. They died when we were barely teenagers. While we were in foster care, I met a man on a motorcycle that I thought was going to save us. Only, it turns out that this man didn’t save us, he took us from a bad situation and into circumstances that were fucking hell.” She stops talking long enough to take a long pull off the Fireball in her hand. “At first, everything was okay and fun. Slowly, the old men started stepping down and the parties and drugs started showing up in larger and more potent quantities.”
I hold my breath not believing what I’m hearing them say. These women’s stories are nearly identical to mine.
“After years of being drugged, beat, traded and treated like fucking nothing, one day this club walked in the door, and decide they wanted us. You want to talk about a war to end all wars? The guys are still cleaning up that mess.”
“Wait. You're saying that the club went to war because of you two?” Candy’s sarcastic tone does nothing to lessen my worries.
“That’s exactly what they did, and when the same cartel that used and abused you beat the shit out of me, this club wiped out the entire circle that was here,” Edge says as she sighs, twisting her hands in her lap.
“You really think that a motorcycle club , of this caliber, would risk it all against another club and the cartel for a piece of ass? There isn’t a man alive that would do that for anyone,” Candy sneers, glaring at the cup in her hand.
Vixen stands so fast that it causes her chair to tip over sideways, leaning close to Candy, she hisses, “I’ve about had it with your shit. We get it that you’ve had a hard life and that men haven’t been good to you in the past, but just like Riley, you need to fucking stop judging these men and comparing them against everyone else.”
Shivering at the venom and ice coming from Vixen, I feel sorry for Candy at this moment. Yes, these men take no shit and will fight for their own; women and children included, until death stares them in the face. These Ol’ ladies though, will make sure that you suffer in this life, as well as the next, to protect who they consider theirs. Candy opens her mouth to speak, being cut off by Edge who stood while I was focused solely on Vixen.
Edge puts a hand on Vixen’s shoulders, speaking quietly in her ear. Vixen stands, taking a step back but never stopping the glare focused on Candy.
“The men in the club have been nothing but good to you, Candy. They’ve taken care of you, stayed out of your way, and even taken on some fights that weren't theirs. Hear me when I say, your continued disdain will end now, or we may need to find somewhere else for you to stay while you get yourself together.” Edge sounds completely broken while saying that to her.
Candy looks at all of us with tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry! You’re right, I’m being a complete bitch. I just don’t know how to be different. Please, I’m so sorry.”
She sobs, and Edge pulls her into a hug, sighing. Vixen throws her hands up before turning to leave, anger coming off her like an inferno. Edge looks back over at me, the look in her eyes a pleading one.
I give her a sad smile because I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to do it. What I do know is that I do not want to be like Candy, bitter and angry at all men because of what a few fucking jackasses have done to me in the past.
Setting my bottle on the ground beside me, I close my eyes, giving the two women a small amount of privacy. While laying there taking in the sun, I must doze off because the next thing I know, the slamming of the back door jerks me awake. I bolt upright, my head getting dizzy from all the alcohol. Looking around wildly, until I remember I’m on the back patio of the clubhouse, my heartrate settles back into its normal rhythm. A shadow falls over me, bringing my attention up a long pair of jean clad legs, with a white tee shirt under a leather cut to a pair of bright green eyes, filled with humor and an underlying look of danger deep within them.
“If it wasn’t for Vixen sitting at the bar, fuming mad, then I would’ve been worried you ran off.” Flyboy looks out over the pool, shoving his hands in his pocket.
“I told you guys I wouldn’t,” I reply. What else is there to say? I may have wanted to run like the hounds of hell were nipping at me, but I try to honor my promises.
“Oh, we’ve heard that before, and then like a flash of fucking lightning, the hardheaded women in this place think they know better than us and run anyway,” Duck grumbles, grabbing Edge’s lounge chair and pulling it close to me.
It takes every fiber of my being not to pull away at his closeness. “As much as I want to say that I’m as strong as they are, I’m not. I’ll stay as long as you need me to so that you guys can get the answers you need to protect yourself. Then I won’t run. I’ll leave to find my next stop along the way.”
“Riley, can I ask you a question?” Duck asks, almost as if he is lost in thought.
“You know that you can.” I shrug. “But it doesn’t mean that I’m going to answer your question.”
Duck throws his head back, laughing. “I swear, you’re too fucking good for that asshole.” He sobers up, turning to lock eyes with me.
The playful side of Duck is gone and sitting in front of me, is a brother. “After all the time that we’ve spent together at the hospital waiting for that fuck head to wake up. Every time you’ve watched one of the Ol’ ladies get mouthy. Have you ever seen one of us strike out in a malicious or harmful way? Do you notice any of the women in this club flinch or act scared when we’re around?”
I sit forward, finally pissed off. They’ve got no fucking idea. “What do you want me to fucking say, Duck? I can’t just turn off nearly ten years of fucking abuse at the hands of “Brothers”. I know individually that ninety percent of the men in this club would never hurt me. But a brother alone, and a brother together, are completely different men.” Standing, I start to pace as I continue my round of pouring out the word vomit that I can’t seem to contain.
“I am not asking to stay here. I am not asking for you and your club to get involved with my bullshit,” I spew, throwing my hands in the air, letting my annoyance show. “Tell me exactly how I am supposed to get over it all? I want to be the confident woman that you all believe I am, but I’m not, and don’t know how to fucking be that person. Please understand when I say that I once ‘knew’ the men who eventually hurt me. I fucking grew up around most of them, so their betrayal and abuse is ingrained deep inside. I can’t help my reactions, and it took everything in me not to run away every time I was at the hospital and all of you descended!”
“Well, it looks like you do have a fire burning deep inside, Riley girl.” Duck stands, walking toward me and placing his hands on my shoulders. I normally would be scared, yet at this very second, I’m just fucking pissed off. “We just have to find a way to keep you from hiding it behind the wall you’ve built around yourself.”
“You better have a damn good reason to have your hands on my fucking woman,” Flyboy challenges, a pissed off look marring his face.
Duck smirks at me before turning to face Flyboy, egging him on. “So, you’ve decided to stop being a complete fucking dick and claim your woman?”
“What I decide about Riley and me is none of your fucking business, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave it the fuck be.” If he could put Duck six feet under with the menacing look in his eyes, he would.
Duck’s shoulders square as he walks over to Flyboy. “Your tallies are starting to add up, brother. Just know that the day is coming that we’ll all be cashing them in.”
Duck lightly shoulder checks Flyboy, being sure not to knock him off his crutches. Flyboy hangs his head for just a moment before looking up at me.
“Come on, Sunshine. Prez wants to talk to you about what’s about to go down,” Flyboy says, his voice sounding tired.
“You need to take a break from the crutches and rest. Let me go talk to him and you go rest,” I tell him, not liking the strain I see on his brow.
“When we have you sorted I’ll take a break.” The look in his eyes makes me want to wrap him in a hug. “Sunshine, please don’t fight me on this. Let’s go hear Prez out and then we’ll both take a break.”
Dropping my shoulders I decide not to fight him on the fact that once I’m done with Prez, it’ll be the last time I see Flyboy. I make the choice to act on the fire still burning hot; I strut to Flyboy reaching up to grab his face as I step into his personal space and place my lips on his.
It doesn’t take Flyboy but a half a second to fist his hand in my hair and deepen the kiss. I want more knowing this is all we’ll ever have. Flyboy pulls back before I’m ready for him to and presses his forehead to mine, sighing contently.
“Fuck, that’s the best thing in the fucking world.”
“Let’s go get this done,” I whisper, pulling away, and moving around him toward the door.