Chapter 31
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
Riley
Watching as Flyboy makes his way out of the room, the events of the last hour come rushing back to me. The tears that never seem to stop falling these days, break free. Making my way over to the bed, I flop down, staring at the ceiling, letting the tears fall, washing away the many years of heartbreak, devastation, and fear that has been my life for so long. My gut tells me that when Flyboy returns, my immediate problems won’t be as severe anymore, and I don’t know where that’ll leave us.
Standing, I start to gather all my stuff. I want to be ready when he gets back and decides this is over now that I’m no longer in danger. I know in my heart and soul that I love this man. There will never be another who can compare to him. I don’t know how he feels. I know he talks pretty and says all the right things. What I don’t know, is how much of it is real or how much is to make sure I stay put. Just as I shove the last of my bathroom stuff in my travel bag, my phone starts vibrating on the bedside table. Rushing, I answer it without looking to see who it is.
“Hello?”
“Hey, girl! I need some girl talk before I kill this insufferable man,” Avery snaps into the phone.
I choke on the part laugh, part sob that gets stuck in my throat. “What has Ax done now?”
“What do you mean what has he done? What hasn’t he done?” Avery huffs.
“Avery, are you okay? You and Ax never go at it like this,” I wonder, her distraction helping to subside the flowing tears.
“He’s being completely crazy! He won’t let me go anywhere or do anything unless one of the guys is with me, and it’s making me crazy!” Avery is hysterical. I can picture her throwing her free hand into the air, pacing the room she’s in.
The already shredded part of my heart turns to dust, knowing I’m causing so much strain and stress in my best friend's life. I can’t give her any information; hell, Ax probably knows more than I do anyway.
“Avery, first, I need you to take a deep breath. Second, we both know that because of my past and family, you’re in danger. Ax would be lost without you. You know I’m right.” I’m sure to be stern but not mean.
Avery sighs, and the sound of her sitting in her office chair makes me smile. “I know you're right. I just miss you, and I’m so worried about everything, that having a man on me twenty-four seven is so hard.”
“It’ll be over soon, and then, we can go back to our normal, everyday lives. Going to brunch at Out of the Pan and Into the Fire, and wine induced sleepovers!” I put as much excitement and emphasis in my voice as I can possibly manage at this point.
“What're you talking about, woman? Your life is going to be different having that sexy as hell biker man all up in your stuff. Once this is all over, you’ll get to see what it’s like to try and be an independent woman with an Alphahole standing right behind you.” Avery chuckles at her own joke.
“I don’t know. What if this is all just an act to keep me here? When the danger is gone, is he still going to feel the same? Am I only in love with him because he is saving me?” The tears are back, causing me to growl in frustration.
“Wait, wait. Did you just say that you’re in love with him? Riley, that’s freaking amazing! Have you told him? What did he say? Give me all the details.” And just like that, my best friend's problems are forgotten and my love life is the center of attention.
I tell her everything that has happened since the last time I talked to her. We spend the time debating whether or not he loves me. She tries her best to convince me that Flyboy does love me and simply hasn’t figured it out.
In her words, “Men are stupid and slow! You have to lead them to the promise land and then shove their faces in it for them to get the job done right!”
I laugh so hard that my sides hurt. I want to believe and trust that she’s right. That this beautifully smart, talented, charismatic man would want me. I know I'm beautiful and smart, that I have things going for me. I just don’t believe that in my heart of hearts, that I’m the caliber of woman that is right for this man. On top of all the things going for me, I also know that I’m broken on the inside, emotionally, mentally, and physically stunted from childhood abuse. He needs a woman who is whole and confident.
“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Avery gasps.
“What? No, I got lost in my own head, what was it you were saying?” Cringing, I apologize, “I’m sorry!”
“Riley, best friend and crazy woman of mine, do something for me, will you?” The tone of Avery’s voice tells me that I need more information first.
“You know I don’t agree to anything until I know what you're asking for,” I state quietly.
“Don’t think about it. Let it happen! Let that man love you! We all see it, even if he doesn’t. Don’t run, Riles. Stay until you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the man doesn’t want you. Promise me, you’ll at least try,” Avery begs.
I let her words soak in, and decide right here and right now, that I’ll do it. I’ll stay and fight. I won’t run, or give up, until this man tells me I have to.
“Deal, I won’t walk away. I’ll stay and let him tell me what’s going on.” I say the words, feeling them take root in my soul.
“Hell, yeah! That’s my girl,” Avery cheers before I hear her sigh.
“Ma’am, that sigh only means one thing and it’s for me to let you go. I love you and will talk to you later,” I hurriedly toss out as her chair squeaks again.
Sitting up, I go over to my stuff and finish packing. I promised I wouldn’t run and that I'd let him tell me how he feels. I never said I wouldn’t be ready to go when my fears are confirmed. A sound I never thought I’d hear in the clubhouse catches my attention. I make my way to the door, pulling it open. I look out, searching for the sound, hearing it once again from the main room.
“Why would they have gurneys in the clubhouse?” I mutter, making my way down the hall.
I make it to the mouth of the hallway in time to see Noah disappear down the path that leads into Steel’s office. I go to follow when the door flies open, letting in Flyboy who’s pushing a second gurney. Instantly, I go into nurse mode.
“Hey, is everyone okay? What’s going on? Do you need me to do anything?” I rapidly fire off the questions.
Flyboy’s head pops up, and his eyes go wide before he plasters the ‘I did it, but I’m going to pretend I’m innocent smile’ on his face. “Hey, baby. Are you okay? Do you need something?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I raise a single eyebrow. “Flyboy, what’s going on?”
He stands to his full height, coming over to me. “There’s nothing going on that you need to worry about.”
I open my mouth to ask questions, but he cuts me off. “No one is hurt, and these are all a part of the plan. Trust me, Riles, don’t stress, and let me take care of everything.”
I stare up at him, searching his face for any signs that I shouldn’t trust and believe in him. Keeping my promise to Avery, I decide to let it go and trust in him.
“Oh, now you choose to just believe,” the snarky bitch in my head snaps.
Nice to see you’ve decided to return , I internally roll my eyes.
“Okay, you say it’s nothing. I'm going to believe that. I guess I’m going to go out to the pool and see if I can find the other girls.” I stretch up, placing a kiss on the underside of his chin and then his mouth.
“Fuck, I don’t deserve this or you,” Flyboy mumbles, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Hey, brother, you coming? What’s taking so long?” Noah yells from down the hall.
Flyboy pulls back, smirking. “I hope I get done in time to see that body in a tiny bikini.”
“Guess you’ll have to get the shit done quickly to find out how tiny the bikini is.” I turn, walking away, ensuring that I don’t fall on my ass or look desperate.
“Damn, baby, that ass is what dreams and fantasies are made of,” Flyboy calls out, talking to my back causing me to smirk.
I shake my head and keep walking. I’m planning to do exactly what I told him. I’m going to get ready for the pool and see if I can get the others to join me. I wonder where everyone disappeared to.
I’m still in the same twenty-four hour time period I was in when I babysat Starla this morning. Meaning, all the other moms must be putting their babies to bed and don’t have time to hang out at the pool. Shrugging, I decide to just do it on my own. Going into the bedroom I get ready, grab my latest book, Ethan’s Sky , by J. L. Quincy, and make my way to the pool.
I’m lying in one of the beach loungers when I hear the back door open, nearly jumping out of my skin because I’m so lost in the book I’ve been reading. Looking over my shoulder, I find Vixen standing there looking a little lost. It takes me a moment to process that it’s the strong, fierce woman that I know.
“You okay, Vixen?” I call to her.
She looks over and finally seems to see me. “Oh, hey, girl. Sorry, I need a few moments. I won't bother you.”
“No, come stay, are you okay? I’m a great listener if you need to just get the words out of your head.” I smile, placing my book beside my leg.
“Oh, is that good?” She points to the book.
“It really is. My Tbr is so long,” I tell her.
“Same! I have so many on my Tbr. The last one I read was Butcher’s Destruction , by Liberty Parker. She is one of my one-click authors, no matter what she writes,” Vixen says excitedly.
“Oh, me too girl!” I pause a beat, then ask, “Do you wanna talk about anything?”
“I don’t want to be whiny. I just have a hard time emotionally at the clubhouse when I’m pregnant. Things between me and MC clubs haven’t always been the best. I had a rough life for a minute, and some days, are just harder than others when it comes to processing everything. Does that make sense?” she rambles.
“That makes total sense. I completely understand having mixed feelings about being in the clubhouse. You know logically that you’re safe and nothing is going to happen, yet there’s something deep inside of you that has you watching and waiting for the other shoe to drop. To show you that they’re just like all the others.” I put into words the constant fight I have all day, every day.
“That’s exactly it. I’ve never been able to put it into words before. Don’t get me wrong, I love these men with my whole heart, and know they would give their life for us. The memories can’t be erased, and when my hormones are all over the place, there’s nothing I can do to keep them away.” I watch this amazing, badass of a woman that’s always larger than life itself, show me that we all have things that go bump in the night no matter how badass we are.
“We all have a Boogie man living in our brain. What matters, is that he never wins, and we fight every day.” I smile, pulling my shades over my eyes.
“Couldn’t have said it better if I tried. Now, tell me about this book of yours.”
I spend the rest of the afternoon with Vixen, laughing and getting to really know the woman that can bring a man like Torch to his knees—willingly. When the sun is long gone, we make our way to the kitchen to see if we can find some food. Not long after we eat, Vixen decides we’re going to have a movie night in the great room. Throwing caution to the wind, I agree.
We gather snacks, pop popcorn, and gather drinks before settling into the large couches and chairs. It only takes about thirty minutes, and the rest of the Ol’ ladies join us. We laugh and talk for hours, doing everything in our power to distract ourselves from the fact our men are doing god knows what and unsure of when they’ll be back.
I smile to myself, realizing that I’ve found my home. Now, if I can just convince Flyboy of this.