Chapter 33
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
Riley
All thought of control snaps. I let the years of anger and frustration just burst free from me.
“Fuck you and your club business. Start talking and tell me what the fuck my waking fucking nightmare is doing in my home!” I scream, done with being managed.
Flyboy slides his hands down my arms, taking my hands in his. “Riley, sweetie, I cannot tell you anything other than after tonight, neither one of these assholes will ever be a problem for you again. Trust me and trust in that.”
I glare from him to the two men on gurneys with heart and pulse ox monitors attached to their bodies, as well as blood pressure cuffs that’re strapped to their forearms. I don’t know what Flyboy is doing, but what I do know, is that they are watching these guys closely.
Done with any bullshit he can tell me I decide to make a plan to take this into my own hands. I just have to get the pertinent information needed to make it happen. I’ve been rebuilding myself since I came to this town and even more with the MC behind me. I know that living in fear was what I was doing. With the two main tormentors tied to tables, it’s time I take back the control of my life and show everyone, including myself, that I’m not a scared mouse anymore.
“Fine, if you can't tell me what the plan is since it’s club business, why don’t you tell me medically what you’re doing here.” I smirk, slowly walking around Flyboy to the table, noticing that there are several syringes measured out and spread out.
Flyboy looks around at everyone, trying to gauge what he’s supposed to say to me. A shadow falls over the table, and I tilt my head up to find Noah. I smile when I see him, knowing that he’ll tell me what he can without giving away club business.
He arches a single eyebrow at my grin. “I don’t know what's spinning around in that brilliant brain of yours, but the answer is, you’ve got to get the info from your Ol’ Man.”
“Well, I wasn’t think anything, and if I was, you’re no fun now that you’ve got your patch.” I pretend pout.
“Yeah, not today, woman. Flyboy, get her!” Mouth Peace yells over his shoulder.
The laugh that haunts my nightmares bursts through the room, asking, “You know how to get her to be a good little girl?”
Anger spikes so hard and fast that I get dizzy. I make a split second decision to grab a syringe before making my way toward the first man who ever put his hands on me.
“No, they don’t. Why don’t you tell them? Tell them how you prefer little girls that can’t fight back. Tell them that you can only get your release once you’ve beat them so bad they can’t say anything. Why don’t you tell them your absolute favorite thing to do,” I hiss, my jaw so tight I can feel my teeth trying to crack.
“Your daddy always did say you were a stupid little girl.” My father’s VP and longest friend grinds out, “I never thought I would see the day you’d put an entire club in danger. We both know your father won't let this stand.”
Leaning close, I pop the lid off the syringe before I speak, “When you see him in hell, you can tell him that his stupid little girl finally bested you. Tell him that you people didn’t win. I’m not fucking broken,” I snap before slamming the needle into his carotid artery, plunging the fluid in it into his bloodstream.
In less than thirty seconds, all hell breaks loose. My walking nightmare jerks, gasping for breath as all his stats fall, and he's in cardiac arrest. Strong arms wrap around me, pulling me away as Flyboy rushes to try and bring him back. I just watch with the knowledge that for every second he doesn’t, the chains on my soul loosen more and more.
“That’s something that leaves a mark on your soul. You should’ve let the ones already marked handle it,” Mouth Peace says, so softly I almost miss it.
Flyboy’s eyes turn to me, and what I see, isn’t at all what I thought I would. Anger, yes. Frustration, absolutely. Even some annoyance, but what I see though, is heartbreak.
“He’s gone,” Flyboy spits before walking towards me. “Mouth Peace, you, and the club brothers finish with her brother and take care of this mess. I’ve got an Ol’ Lady to deal with.”
“Does it matter how we dispose of them when we’re done?” Mouth Peace questions him, looking thoughtful.
“I don’t give two flying fucks what you do with them once they’re dead. Get the information you can from the fuckhead that’s left, and then dispose of them however you see fit,” Flyboy snaps, taking my hand and leading me out of the room.
As we make it over the threshold, I hear Mouth Peace’s words and wonder if that man is stable. “I’ve always wanted to see what would happen if you submerge someone in a drum of Mountain Dew. You know, Pepsi proved that a rat would completely?—”
His words are cut off when the door closes behind me. Slowly, we make it up the stairs, and the reality of what I’d just done takes hold of me. How could I do that? I took a vow to help people. To do no harm. Yet I just took a life. Yes, the man was a monster in every imaginable way. But does that give me the right to be judge and jury? My breath starts to saw in and out as I feel the panic start to claw its way out of my chest. As we make it to the top of the stairs, Flyboy doesn’t say anything, just pushes through the door, pulling me with him. I make it through the doorway, and in a flash, I’m pinned against it with Flyboy’s body pressed close to me.
He runs his nose up my throat to my ear. “Do you have any idea what you just did?”
Raising my hands, I run them up either side of his neck into his hair, fisting it. “According to Noah, I just stained my soul.”
“Why, Riles? Why would you do that? You’re my Nightingale. The one that comes in and saves us all.” He peppers kisses down my throat between every word spoken.
“I needed to be the one to take control of all the fear and frustration fighting in my soul. To prove, not only to myself but to that man, that I’m not broken. Most of all, I’ll never stop fighting to be better than where I came from,” I whisper, trying not to get lost in his kisses.
“You’ve never been broken, Riley. Beautifully tortured? Yes. Never broken. Do you know how fucking gorgeous you were down there, taking charge in that room? I need you, Riley.” Flyboy kisses me hard and demandingly, forcing his tongue into my mouth while fisting my hair.
Using my hold on his hair at the nape of his neck, I guide his mouth where I want it. Getting lost in this man, in this moment, is the only thing I could ever want and dream of.
I pull away from his mouth with a sniffle. “Flyboy, take me to our room. Show me that I’m not broken, that you still want me after that.”
His eyes watch mine for a split second. “There is nothing that you could ever do or say to make me not want you. When the world is crashing down around me, I know that all I have to do is look up and reach out and you’re there, my Nightingale, to save the day and heal all the broken parts of me.”
Once again, I don’t have the words. I need this man in a way that I can’t explain. “Our room, now.”
“Your every wish is my command,” he says before turning, taking my hand and leading me quickly down the hall through the great room then to our room.
We make it to the door, pushing it open. We barely make it through before our mouths are connected. Flyboy slowly backs me to the bed, and when my knees come into contact with the frame, I fall back, laid open for him. Flyboy leans forward, running his hands up my thighs to my waist.
He looks up at me. “This isn’t going to be slow and easy. I need you too much. Can you handle that? Can you take me as I am?” He kisses across my belly as he slides my pants and panties down my legs.
“I’m yours to do with as you need.” I moan when he nips my mound.
“That’s what I needed to hear.” He reaches out, pulling me to my feet. “Turn around and take your shirt and bra off. When you're done, bend over and place your hands on the mattress.”
I pause for a split second; apprehension washes over me. That feeling flees just as fast when Flyboy runs a finger through my slick folds, groaning at how wet I am. I turn, pulling my shirt and sports bra over my head. When my back is to him, Flyboy slides his hands over my hips, up my belly, and cups my breasts. At the same time, he grinds his rock hard erection into the crack of my ass.
“Fucking hell, baby. You’re so fucking soft. These tits are perfect for my hands. Your nipples are so hard, just begging to be loved.” Flyboy pinches my nipples at the same time that he says the words.
I arch back into his erection, needing more of him.
“Take me, baby. I want to feel you deeply. Stretch me to the point of pain.” I lay my head back on his shoulder, trying to take in all the sensations surrounding me.
“Bend over for me, Riles. Show me that perfect ass of yours.” Flyboy lets me go and I do as he says, falling so my hands are propped up on the bed.
“This ass is a dream,” Flyboy says, just before a slap lands on my ass.
I drop my head, moaning at the sensation.
“You’re so fucking perfect. Are you ready, Riley?” Flyboy asks as I feel the head of his cock notched at my entrance.
Unable to wait any more, I push back against him, trying to take him inside of me.
“Patience.”
“I can’t, Flyboy. You said—” All words and thoughts stop when in one stroke, he’s balls deep inside of me.
“So fucking tight! Every fucking time,” Flyboy grits though clenched teeth as he takes ahold of my hips.
His rhythm is relentless and unforgiving. He pounds into me, hitting that perfect spot over and over. The orgasm building inside of me is so big that I know nothing will ever compare to it. My arms start shaking, to the point they give out bringing me to my knees, changing the angle enough to shatter me.
“Flyboy, I can’t hold it,” I nearly scream.
“Don’t hold it, baby. Give it to me,” he grits out. “Fuck, so tight. You’re going to take me with you. Now, Riley! Cum now!”
And I do! I shatter around this man's cock. My world spins on its axis, and then, soft blankets are pulled over me, dragging me into the darkness that only pure exhaustion can bring.
I awaken abruptly, sweaty, and shaky. Flyboy is hovering over me with a look of worry and fear written all over his face.
“Riley, come on, baby. Talk to me. Wake up, please,” Flyboy begs.
“I’m awake,” I squeak out.
“Thank fuck. You were whimpering and shaking,” he murmurs, laying down and pulling me onto his chest.
“I’m sorry! I haven’t had a night terror like that in a long time.” I scratch the tattoo on his chest, trying to figure out what the dream was.
“You want to tell me about it?” Flyboy kisses the top of my head.
“That’s the worst damn part. All I can ever remember is the fear, anguish, and panic. There’s no real dream to remember.” I’m honest with him.
“You want to talk about what you did yesterday? Maybe that’s what's causing them to start back up. It’s the only way I was ever able to deal with mine,” Flyboy tells me.
“I mean, I killed someone. I know the man was scum of the earth, so I did the world a favor by getting rid of him. But I fucking killed someone.” I know I sound hysterical, but I mean, how else is someone supposed to sound?
“I wish you’d have let us handle it. Anytime you need to talk about it, or run it by someone, you do it. It’s technically club business, so a brother is the best one to approach to get it off of your chest. So, tell me everything you can,” Flyboy matter-of-factly states.
“To be honest, I didn’t plan to kill him. I just wanted to say my piece and walk away. Leave it to you and the brothers to handle.” I take a shuddering breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “But when he kept talking and poking at me, I just snapped. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go on without knowing for sure that he was gone.”
“I told you it was all going to be handled. What did you think that meant?” The hurt in Flyboy’s voice shocks me.
“That’s just it, I didn't know what that meant. MCs make deals all the time. Things are done in the dark and it’s club business. I’ve never been a hundred percent sure that he would never return. In that very moment, I needed to know without a doubt that I’d never see that man, ever again,” I tell him, believing every word that I said.
“I only have two questions, answer them honestly and it’ll give you something to always go by when you doubt yourself.” His words give me pause. “First, do you regret what you did? Not the nurse you, or the woman who wants to save the world, but the girl you were and the woman who lived in true fear. Do you regret what you did?”
I think about what he’s asking, searching within myself to find the answer and only mildly shocked to find that I do not regret what I did for a second. If he wasn't hurting me, he was going to be hurting someone. If I can save anyone from that kind of pain, then I’d do it without any quarrels.
“Not a single second, do I regret what I did,” I state, completely certain.
“That’s my girl. Now, the second question is, can you live with what happened? With the stain that it’s going to leave on your soul? Taking a life isn’t something you can just walk away from and forget. But can you live with the fact that you’re capable of it?” This question takes me more time for me to ruminate over.
Can I live with what I did? Can I live with the knowledge that I’m capable of killing another person? Again, I’m back at the fact that this man has hurt so many people that I know hell is the place for him. I take account of my emotions and what I’m feeling, only to find that I still can’t believe that I did it, but less anxious about him finding me one day and dragging me back to that life. Is it going to be easy to live with the fact I can actually do this? No. Yet, I can live with the fact this man and my brother are no longer walking around free to hurt others.
“I can absolutely live with what I did. Will it be a struggle? Yes. What I know though, is that what I did was what needed to happen for myself and anyone else who they may have hurt or could hurt in the future,” I state, confident in what I’m saying.
“That’s my girl. Now, you get some sleep. I’ll be right here with you the entire time.” Flyboy kisses the top of my head as my eyes slide close.
“I love you, Riley. My brave, strong, gorgeous woman. Sleep now, and forever knowing I’ll always be here to fight everything that tries to hurt you during the night.” I swear I hear Flyboy say into my hair.