Chapter Six #2
My cheeks burn. I want to tell her. I want to tell someone. But she knows him, and he’s Declan’s closest friend.
I take a deep breath. Then another. My hands shake.
“You have to promise me not to tell anyone, including Declan.” I whisper and glance at the closed door, half-expecting someone to be listening.
“Autumn, what happened?” There’s worry in her voice, and I let out a stupid, nervous laugh.
“I—” I take another breath between the laugh and the urge to vomit from the panic crawling up my spine. “I’m not a virgin anymore.” I shrug, wave my hand like it means nothing, and turn around to avoid her stare.
“What?!” She grabs my shoulders and spins me around to face her. “Autumn, with whom?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“No?” She crosses her arms again, like a disapproving mother. “How the fuck did you lose your virginity? You barely know anyone, especially men.”
Unable to contain myself, I laugh again, louder this time. “You know, I could get a man on some dating app. I’m not that bad—”
“Sweetie, you’re hot as hell! That’s not what I mean, and you know it. You don’t know any other men besides Declan, Connor, and Kian.” She rests her hand on my shoulder, and I look up at her, seeing the worry in her eyes.
“It was fine, good and fun, Vi. And most importantly, I wanted it. It was my choice.” I give her a smile, but her eyes are still on me, scanning me up and down. Then she stops at my neck, and I freeze.
Shit.
“Is that a bite?” She moves too fast, tugging my sweater down just a bit. “Jesus, Autumn.”
Then she freezes. Her hand drops, and she takes a slow step back.
“That motherfucker,” she mumbles.
“Vi?” I stare at her, my heart beating in my throat. She’s always been protective of me, almost since the day we met, and it’s gotten worse in the last month. I think she had sisters once, and somehow, I’ve filled that hole in her life. The little sister she wants to keep safe.
“It wasn’t Kian or Connor!” I blurt, grabbing her arm, searching her eyes.
“Oh, I know that.” Her laugh turns sharp, almost maniacal. “I’m going to kill him.” She spins toward her desk, yanking open a drawer.
“Viviana! It wasn’t Declan!” I cry out, panic choking me, and that makes her stop. She turns back to me and pulls me into her arms. I let the tears fall.
“Oh, Autumn, sweetie,” she murmurs against my ear, holding me tight.
The door opens. She doesn’t move.
“Firecracker?” Declan’s voice comes from the doorway, and I turn slowly. His jaw is locked, his fists tight. His eyes flick between us. “What the fuck happened?”
He takes a step inside, and I instinctively step back from Viviana.
She glances at me, then at him.
“Did anyone do anything?” he asks her, voice low and lethal.
She goes to him, holding his hand. “Everything’s fine. Just… something I need to take care of.” She leans into him, but his eyes stay on me, darker now, like something I’ve never seen before. Is he upset with me? Does he think I did something to her?
“Are you hurt?” he asks, and it takes me a second to realise he’s talking to me. He’s not angry at me. He’s angry for me. Worried. And I can’t seem to form a single word.
“She’s fine. Your friend, on the other hand…” Viviana says, and Declan finally turns to her.
“Friend? Who?” His hand moves to her face, gentle but demanding. “Tell me who hurt her.” His voice drops an octave, cold and deadly.
“Wait! You both need to chill,” I finally manage to say, and they both turn to look at me. “No one got hurt. I did it because I wanted to.”
Viviana stares at me. “With Flynn?!”
Her laugh is dark, and Declan’s hands drop.
“Flynn? As in Brady?” Declan looks completely lost, and I cover my face with my hands.
Oh my God.
“Yes! That bastard—” Viviana starts, but I step forward fast.
“No! No, no, no!” I wave my hands frantically in front of them. She crosses her arms, unimpressed, while Declan just stands there frozen.
I rush to the door, peek into the hallway to make sure Connor and Kian aren’t about to make a surprise guest appearance in the most awkward conversation of my entire life.
I close the door and take a deep breath.
“I swear you’re blowing this out of proportion,” I say quickly. Viviana’s about to yell, but I cut her off, turning toward Declan, who’s visibly calmer now that he knows it involves Flynn.
“I’m a virgin.”
He freezes, staring at me, and my skin burns with embarrassment. I’m a goddam adult woman, yet I feel fifteen again, like I’m telling my parents a boy spent the night in my room.
“Not anymore,” Viviana chuckles, though there’s no humour in her tone.
“It was my choice, Vi.” I repeat it, hoping she understands.
“Flynn—” Declan murmurs, eyes narrowing. “He—you?”
My hand flies to my forehead. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Fuck,” Declan mutters, then lets out a short, disbelieving laugh. “The fucker actually—” He stops mid-sentence, staring at me again.
“He actually what?” Viviana snaps, stepping closer to him, hands on her waist. Declan might be huge, but right now she looks ready to rip his throat out.
“Nothing.” He stops, then turns to me so fast I flinch. “Did he know?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I can’t answer. My throat closes, my eyes drop to the floor.
“Autumn?” he presses, voice sharper now.
“Oh fuck, Autumn, you didn’t tell him?” Viviana runs her hands through her hair, pacing the room.
“I—” I swallow hard. Well, if I had, he wouldn’t have done it, so… “I didn’t have the chance. It all happened so fast.”
“Fast?” Viviana stops, eyes wide. “Did it happen at the charity last night?”
I just nod.
“Oh my—” She turns to Declan. “You said Flynn wasn’t going.”
Declan opens his mouth, then shuts it again, which only pisses her off more.
“He called me last minute,” he says finally. “Said he was going.” His gaze lands on me, quieter now. “So Flynn has no idea what he did, does he?” His voice is calm, almost gentle.
“No.” My voice comes out small. My hands fidget with the sleeves of my sweater.
“You need to tell him.” Declan steps closer, tilting my chin up with his finger until I meet his eyes. “He needs to know, Autumn. Flynn deserves to know.”
“I can’t.” The words break as a tear slips down my cheek. “I did this for me. If I tell him, it’ll take on another meaning. He’ll feel forced to pretend.”
Declan steps back, and I glance between them.
“Autumn.” Viviana’s voice softens as she comes closer and pulls me into her arms.
“We won’t say anything for now. But please, think about it.” She squeezes me, and I hug her back.
When I look up, Declan just nods.
Viviana tries to keep me talking, asking if I’m okay, if we used protection, if I need anything, but I avoid every answer.
Right now, all I want is to go home.