54. Groveling Again
Groveling Again
Vandal
The grin on my face threatens to split it in two.
Everything is perfect. I have a stunning bouquet of roses and orchids.
Lola’s coffee is in the same hand as the jeweler’s bag.
The diamond and sapphire tennis bracelet might be a little over the top, but I wanted to give her something she’ll wear forever.
There’s a skip in my proverbial step as I walk over to her dorm room for the last time as the evil man who broke her trust.
She won’t understand me smiling now. I need to rein it in. I need to be calm and somber, not jumping for joy because I’m going to get my girl back.
Because there’s every possibility that girl is going to be on the back of my bike when all this is over. I might have found my old lady.
Stop. You’re getting ahead of yourself.
If you walk in like it’s a done deal that Lola’s going to forgive you, it’ll never happen. She will decide I’m an arrogant jerk. I am a little arrogant, but I try not to be a jerk.
Calm. You still need to get her to listen to you after two failed attempts.
That’s not going to be easier, but it’ll be easier than you trying to get her to forgive you based on a smile, and I want us to be together.
At her door, I freeze up. What if she doesn’t listen?
What if she has a three strikes you’re-out policy?
Don’t get in your head.
Just knock.
This could be all over in a few minutes.
“You’re back. They said you kept trying to get her to forgive you.” Maia stops in the hallway before the door.
“I did a bad job of it.”
She nods. “You really did. You hurt her.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
Maia tips her head to the side. “If you didn’t mean to, why did you do it?”
I stand there silently, wishing I could explain to her friends, but they haven’t been cleared. I just can’t risk my brothers’ lives on the hope that they’d be trustworthy.
“You could give me a lie, but you don’t. Why?”
“Because there’s no point in lying to you. I don’t need you to forgive me.”
Maia grins. “Very true. But I think Lola should. I have a good feeling about you. Lola, though, she’s been a good friend, but I don’t know, there’s always something off about her. But that’s neither here nor there. You want to talk to her, not me.”
I want to hold Lola in my arms.
Maia walks up and sets a hand on my arm. “Don’t worry so much. Lola will see what’s in your heart.” Maia plucks the flowers from my hand with a grin on her face. She barely knocks on the door before it opens. “Look what Van got you.”
“Van, you came back.” Lola stares at me in complete shock.
If anything, she looks worse than she did days ago. When did she last sleep? Is she eating? Has she been going to class? “I wanted to talk to you. To explain, if you’ll let me.”
“Explain? Why now? Why wouldn’t you answer my question before?”
Because I couldn’t. “If we could talk in private, I’ll answer all your questions.”
“All of them?”
“No more secrets. No more lies.”
“Then why?” She puts her hand on her hip.
“Not here. Can we talk in private?” Somewhere without prying eyes and listening ears.
LynnLeigh steps out of their room. “There’s nothing you can’t say in front of us. We’re her friends. So tell us. Why did you throw a party with drugs and women and not invite Lola?”
“Because our relationship is no one else’s business. You’re her friends, but I have no plans on dating you. So, no, you’re not entitled to be part of our discussion. Lola, can we talk, please?”
“You’ll answer my questions?”
“Yes.”
“No playing games. Just direct, clear answers.”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Fine, we can talk—” She glances around. There are people everywhere.
“How about outside on a bench?” Somewhere far away from people and the non-insect kind of bugs.
“Okay.” Lola reaches for my hands, taking the cup and bag. She hands the bag to LynnLeigh and keeps the cup of coffee. “I really hope you’re not playing a game with me.”
“No games. I promise.” My heart clenches as I follow her down the stairs and outside.
She walks over to an empty bench under a tree. It’s pretty far from any foot traffic. “So tell me, why did you throw that party?”
“You live on Willow Street.”
“How do you know that? Have you been following me?”
“No.” Though I wouldn’t put it past me. I’d do anything to protect you. “I know because my motorcycle club works with Maddox occasionally.”
“Your what?”
“Lola, I’m not a college student.”
“What?”
“Technically, the man I’m pretending to be is enrolled in college. I graduated several years ago.”
“What? Why? None of this makes sense.”
“It will. I can explain.” Hopefully.
“Is Van even your name?”
“It’s my nickname. I tried not to lie to you, Lola. With all the mistakes I made, I tried not to lie to you.”
She shakes her head. “Is that why you wouldn’t say you’re an addict? Or tell me why you wouldn’t go to classes?”
“Yes. I wasn’t supposed to meet you, Lola. You weren’t part of the plan. I’m here to find a drug dealer so he stops killing kids.”
“What? A drug dealer? I thought you said you’re in a motorcycle club, not a cop.”
“I’m not a cop.” There’s no way a Linckester would ever be a cop.
“That means you’re a vigilante.”
“I prefer to think of myself as a concerned citizen.”
“Does that mean you’ll turn the dealer over to the cops when you find him?”
How do I make her understand the situation? “He killed my brother’s son.”
“You’re not going to.”
“No, I’m not. How do you feel about that?” It’s too soon. I should have given her time to process everything I just said before asking her a question like that.
“A drug dealer?”
“One who targets children.”
She nods. “And the party?”
“I made contact with a dealer, and I’m trying to develop a relationship with him.”
“The girls?”
“They weren’t girls. They were children. Barely teenagers.”
Lola gasps.
“He brought them as a gift to me. To make my party better.” My stomach twists at the memory.
“That’s why you didn’t want me to come.”
I reach up and stroke her cheek. “Lola, I never want you anywhere near any of this. That’s why I kept trying to get you to break up with me. I’m not strong enough to walk away from you.”
She leans into my touch. “Walking away from you hasn’t been easy. I kept hoping you’d come explain it to me.”
“I couldn’t.”
“What changed? Why did you do it now?”
A little puff of wind sends her hair flying towards me. Even in her disheveled state, she smells like coconut and strawberries. “Because I finally found out it was safe to tell you, even though I knew it in my heart from the first second I met you.”
“You did?” Lola reaches out and sets a hand on mine.
“I did, but Lola, this is serious. You need to really think about it before you agree to date me. What I’m doing isn’t safe. We have things set up to protect me, but I went in knowing there was a possibility I could die or worse. You can step back. Wait until everything is finished.”
“Excuse me?” She stands up and glares at me. “You want me to just walk away after everything you just told me?”
“Yes. For right now. I want you safe, and being with me won’t keep you safe.” Just the idea of her being in danger stresses me out. “When this is all over, we can start seeing each other again.”
“No. Absolutely not. I’m not some victim.
Some weak, delicate woman that you need to protect.
If anything, mister scary biker dude, my life has been harder than yours.
I’m not afraid of these idiots. And I’m not running away.
If you want us to be us, it’s all or nothing.
I’m not going to be your sweet little woman at home knitting doilies while my man takes all the risks in life.
We’re either a team, or we’re nothing. You figure it out and get back to me.
” She starts walking away, then spins around and glares at me.
“Skip that. Decide now. Do you love me, or am I out of your life forever? There are no sorta partial commitments. I want all of your love, all of your trust. I want everything or nothing.”
“I want all of you.”
“That means we’re in this together. No secrets. No trying to protect me.”
“I will always protect you.”
She giggles and runs into my arms, carefully holding the coffee to the side. “And I will always protect you. I’ve been training to do just that.”
Biting back a groan is the hardest thing.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me now?”
Um…yes. “No. I still want to make it something special. Somewhere special.”
“Well then, the first time you kiss me can be somewhere memorable. The first time I kiss you is going to be right here and now.” She pushes up on her toes and lands her lips on me.
I guess we’re going to kiss…honesty is definitely the best policy.