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Sheridan
What do I do first?
That thought has paralyzed me for a while. I mean, all I need to do is get in my car and go back to Beach Haven. It didn’t move from the airport parking lot where I left it. Maverick’s flight attendant said it would be safe here, and they meant it.
But what do I do then?
My check won’t be deposited for another two weeks. I should have just enough to rent another shack if I can find one and pay—
My phone rings…It’s going to be Fly.
I know it’s Fly.
What am I going to say?
What do I do?
How do I explain?
Figure it out before he hangs up…
I pick up.
“Sheridan, this is Holly. Your grandmother is having a hard day today. She’s screaming for your mother.”
Not again. The only thing I can appreciate is I didn’t get a call like this last week.
“I’ll be right there.” My car might be a classic in the age sense, but it’s never failed to start…
except when I’ve run out of gas. Hopefully, it doesn’t fail me today.
I dig through my bag to find the keys I haven’t touched in two weeks.
Wait, what is this? I pull out a thick envelope with my name on it. Where did that come from? I didn’t put it there.
No time. I need to deal with Grammie’s meltdown, then I’ll open it up. I shove the envelope back into my purse and dig for the keys.
Gotcha…Please work. The engine turns over on the first go.
And you were worried. Explaining the inside of my car to Georgie, the tow truck guy, would be embarrassing. Like everyone doesn’t know I’m living in my car.
***
I walk into the nursing home, greeting every nurse I pass by. Holly lets me into the locked ward. “Your grandmother hasn’t been this agitated in months. We didn’t want to sedate her until we called you.”
“Thanks for calling me. She’s looking for my mother again?”
“Yes.”
“Would you hold my purse for me?”
“Of course, it’ll be at the nurses’ station. Hit the call button if you need any help or if you think it’s time to sedate her.”
You can deal with this. It isn’t Grammie speaking. It’s the disease. Except it isn’t. Grammie was like this before…except with a hair more understanding as to who was in the room.
I step in and find a mess. She’s thrown around everything that isn’t locked down, which isn’t much.
“Finally. I’ve been telling those idiots that I need to speak to you for hours.
You can’t keep leaving me like this. They’re your children.
You brought that trash into the world even after I told you to get rid of them.
If you leave them with me anymore, I’m going to kill them and kill you. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Mom, I hear you.” Loud and clear, as I did when you were aware you were calling your grandchildren trash.
“Wanda, I hate you for what you did. And even worse, I hate that you made that man come every year to make sure they were alive. I had their graves all picked out. No one would have found them. I was going to kill them in their sleep. But you sent him to bribe me. And every year he comes. I want to kill them. I want to kill you. Why did you have to waste your life on that trash? Why did you waste mine?” Grammie runs up and starts hitting me.
I should fight her. I should step away and hit the call button, but I can’t move.
“Kill the trash.”
“Kill the trash!”
“Kill them!”
“Kill them!”
Holly and another nurse come rushing in just as Grammie pulls back her fist and slams it into my cheek.
That wakes me up. “I think it’s time to sedate her.”
The other nurse and I grab Grammie's arm as Holly pulls the syringe out of her pocket.
“Kill them. You have to let me kill them. Kill them. They need to die.”
Holly injects her, and Grammie starts quieting down quickly.
“Kewl wem.” Her body goes limp.
“This was a bad one.” Holly takes her feet as we lift her into the bed.
It was more than bad…it was the truth. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help.”
“You tried. Some days there’s just nothing you can do. The dementia controls them. Thank you for coming. She’s lucky to have such a caring granddaughter. So many of these people don’t have anyone that cares for them but us.”
My brain can’t think of any words to say. “Could I please get my bag?”
“Of course.”
We walk back towards the nursing station.
“Oh, you didn’t hear this from me, but they’re raising prices again. You should get a letter in a few weeks. From what I hear, it’s going to be a significant increase. I think they’re hoping to move a few patients to the state facility.” Holly unlocks a drawer and grabs my bag.
Maybe it’s time I think about moving her. Even as I think the words, I know I won’t do it. “Thank you for everything.”
“It was my pleasure. You know how much we all love you. And not just for your blondies.”
Just barely, but I make it out to the car before my body starts shaking.
Is it true? Did my father bribe my grandmother to keep us alive?
Why would he do that?
Why would a man who beat us up also fight to keep us alive?
What would have happened if he hadn’t?
Would she really have done it?
Would anyone have cared if two trash kids who lived in a shack disappeared?
Probably not. Just like they wouldn’t notice if I never came back from Urbium. Just like Fly didn’t notice I left. He’s probably relieved I disappeared without any fuss.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
You’ve made it through worse. You’ll make it through this.
The envelope…
I reach back in my bag and grab it out. Stacks and stacks of money fall out into my lap, and a letter flutters down on top of them.
Sheridan,
I know you’re probably wondering why this is in your purse.
Simply put, family doesn’t let family suffer.
Not when we can help. Your first instinct is probably going to be to want to give it back.
But please, take the money and use it to make your life a little easier.
I don’t know if it’s enough or not to make a difference, which gives me an excuse to come visit my sister very soon.
How is the beach down there during the winter? Should I pack a bikini? Let me know.
Love isn’t a transaction…
Dahlia
Love isn’t a transaction…