Chapter 20 Smile at Me
MY POOR HEART beats as desperately as if I’ve just run a marathon and I silently thank it for not failing me in this moment. I don’t say a word as Kang stares at me, putting a face to the voice he’s been talking to all this time.
I would like to say that his expression reveals some hint of what he thinks, but his dazzling smile doesn’t falter for an instant.
Unable to stand the intensity of his gaze any longer, I look down at his black shirt with the mascot and blue lettering that reads DURHAM COMMUNITY COLLEGE .
I notice his biceps, more defined than I remember from the last time I saw him, however fleetingly.
At first glance he seemed very thin, but now, up close, I see that he has an athletic build, like someone who plays sports, which he does.
“So we finally meet, Klara.” He says my name slowly, as if testing it out.
I swallow but keep my eyes on his shirt. “Um… yeah.” I can’t get out more than two words.
Kang takes his right hand out of his pocket and offers it to me. “Nice to meet you, Klara.”
I stare at his hand like an idiot. I don’t want him to feel how sweaty my palms are. I subtly wipe them off on the inside of my sweatshirt pocket and shake his hand. My stomach tingles instantly at his touch.
He squeezes my hand lightly. “It’s an honor to finally meet the mysterious K.”
I let go of his hand as fast as I can. I don’t know what to do or say. Having him so close is too much.
“Hey, it’s just me,” Kang says.
I look up and try to find calm in his eyes.
“It’s me, Kang, the guy you’ve been talking to nonstop for weeks. I’m not a stranger, there’s no reason to be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid.”
He chuckles. “Really? Because you look terrified. I promise I’m not a serial killer.”
“That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” My lips tremble as I speak. God, I’m so nervous.
Kang purses his lips to suppress a smile. What beautiful lips!
He raises his right hand. “I solemnly swear that I will not murder you and bury your body in the mountains.”
“Wow, that really makes me feel so much safer.”
“I’m glad. So”—he pauses to lean a shoulder against the wall—“you’ve been right here on campus all this time?”
“Um, not exactly, I just started recently.”
I expect him to ask me a thousand questions, but he doesn’t, as if he knows it would make me too uncomfortable.
He peels his shoulder away from the wall and takes off his backpack.
“Well then, I guess a welcome celebration is in order.” He slides to the floor and places his backpack between his knees before patting the spot beside him. “Will you sit with me?”
I don’t budge.
He sighs. “I think I’ve made it clear that I’m not a murderer.”
Uneasy, I sit down next to him, leaving a safe distance between us. I watch out of the corner of my eye as he opens his backpack and takes out a bag of candy and then continues to pull snacks out of his bag.
Somehow, I feel more relaxed now that we’re not standing face-to-face. “Sheesh, why do you have so much food in your backpack? Did you know we were going to get stranded here?” I say, looking at the bags of potato chips, boxes of chocolates, and so on.
“No… they’re gifts.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Gifts?”
“Yeah, listeners send stuff to the show, or bring it to me in person.”
“So, like, you have some sort of fan club?”
“Nah, I wouldn’t call it that.” He blushes and I feel like I’m going to faint. He’s so handsome. “I just have very dedicated listeners.” He winks.
I totally understand; I love his show. And his voice. “I guess you’re super popular around here.”
I’m surprised at how easy it is to make him blush again. “You could say that. So, what’ll it be?” he says, gesturing to the display of sweets and snacks.
I evaluate all the options, overanalyzing as usual: The chips will give me bad breath, but it would be awkward to lick a strawberry lollipop while I talk to him… Urgh, I hate my brain!
Kang waves a hand in front of my face. “Hello, Klara? Take whatever you want. You like chocolate, right?” He offers me a bar of white chocolate. “Didn’t you say this was your favorite?”
“Yes, thank you.” I nod.
He grabs a Snickers and I roll my eyes.
“What? We’ve had this conversation before, white chocolate is no match for milk chocolate. Plus, you love hot chocolate… and I doubt the one you drink is white.”
“What? Those are two entirely different things. Either way, white chocolate is a more elegant and refined chocolate,” I say, feeling slightly more at ease.
“So, you’re fancy and I’m basic.”
I shrug, smiling. “You said it, not me.”
I glance up at him and the look on his face almost makes me choke on the square of white chocolate. Kang is staring at me so intently that I forget to chew. “What?”
“You smiled.”
I swallow. “And that’s noteworthy?”
He shakes his head. “No, I just… I hadn’t seen you smile before. It’s…” He furrows his brow. “Nothing. I guess you’re starting to trust the serial killer.”
“I guess white chocolate is the way to my heart.” I smile again.
He looks away and clears his throat. “Well…” He reaches into his backpack. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Don’t tell me you have drinks in there, too? What kind of backpack is that?”
“I just have a Coke and a Sprite, so fewer choices than with the food.”
“Do you come to campus to study, too, or just eat?”
“I told you already, I got all this for free. Besides, who says I can’t do both?”
“You don’t look like the kind of guy who sits around eating and studying all day.”
Kang turns to face me, a twinkle in his eye. “What kind of guy do I look like?”
“Ummm…” Think, Klara, keep the banter going . “You look… very…” Handsome, hot, ripped, sexy . “Uh… healthy.”
A mischievous grin forms on his lips. “Healthy?”
I nod.
“That’s a new one.”
“You know me, very innovative.” Shut up, Klara, shut up.
“I’ll take healthy,” he says. Then he raises a hand to my hood and the movement is so sudden that I don’t have time to pull away. Kang pushes it back to reveal my fake black hair. His fingers lightly brush my cheek as he lowers his hand. “You don’t have to hide, Klara—you’re very… hot.”
I stop breathing and I feel heat rise in my face.
I must be bright red. “Thank you,” I whisper, looking away.
Is he… flirting with me? No, Klara, you’re imagining things.
You’ve only just met. I’m hyperaware of his presence so close beside me, and I can’t help but chance a glance at him.
His hair looks so soft as it gently falls over his forehead; his eyes are the deepest black; his lower lip is so full, and those dimples… God, those dimples when he laughs!
Silence falls between us. I can feel his eyes on me, so I keep my gaze fixed on the doors at the end of the hallway, where rain is sliding down the glass.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” says Kang, seeming to read my mind.
I say nothing and continue to watch the rain fall.
Kang sighs loudly. “I don’t know if we’ll be able to get out of here today.”
“Caught in a storm—sounds like the premise of some bad romance movie.”
“Romance, huh?”
I cough and clear my throat. “Well, yeah, because… you know… I just meant… Not because of you and me… I mean, well, nobody can leave… a bunch of college kids, stranded, and, you know, the hormones…”— Shut up, Klara —“stuck here all together, it’s…”
Kang sounds amused. “I understood you, Klara.”
We look at each other for a second before we both burst out laughing. This isn’t so bad; I feel much more comfortable than I expected. Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve talked on the phone so many times before.
“There you are,” Erick says, turning the corner and stopping in front of us.
I’m surprised I don’t immediately retreat back into hiding behind my hoodie, or avoiding Erick’s gaze, and I conclude it has to do with the fact that I have Kang sitting next me and how safe he makes me feel.
Erick looks exactly like I imagined he would from hearing him on the radio. I can only hope he’s not as annoying as he sounds; I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt since he’s Kang’s friend.
“What’s up?” Kang asks.
Erick shamelessly looks me up and down. “Is this the famous K?” He crosses his arms.
“And you must be Erick.”
“Yeah, the one you kicked off Kang’s show because ‘Kang’s show is perfect on its own.’?”
I feel like dying of embarrassment as he quotes my text message. “I was only telling the truth.”
“Ooh, she got you there, didn’t she? To be fair, she’s only spitting facts,” Kang says.
“For your information, my show is just as popular as Kang’s.”
“Oh, really? Then I guess your backpack must be full of gifts from listeners, too. Are you going to share?”
Erick narrows his eyes. “I don’t need snacks to prove my worth.”
Kang applauds. “Wow, Klara, I didn’t know you had this side to you.”
Erick sighs and sits down across from us. “I’m so over this; it’s so boring being stuck here. I tried to sneak out but that counselor lady says no one’s allowed to leave until the tornado warning is lifted.”
Erick picks up the other white chocolate bar and, instinctively, I reach out and grab it from him.
“Hey,” he objects.
“Sorry, that’s mine. It’s my favorite.”
“Mine, too.”
“I was here first,” I argue.
“And I picked it up first.”
“But I took it away from you, so… too bad.”
Kang laughs and Erick shoots him a murderous look. “Thanks for your support, bro. So quick to screw me over for a girl!”
Kang holds up his hands. “She took it from you fair and square.”
Erick gives us the middle finger and I laugh. He looks like a kid who just had a piece of candy taken away. Well, that’s literally what happened.
And so the afternoon flies by over candy, playful arguments with Erick, and witty banter with Kang. For the first time in a long time, I’m hanging out with people my own age and I don’t feel at all out of place. My eyes meet Kang’s as he laughs at something I’ve just said.
I feel… normal.