Chapter 33 Defend Me
I DON’T WANT to open my eyes.
Kang’s lips find mine again, from first kiss to second, so soft and gentle.
My heart’s on the verge of collapse. I want this magical moment to last forever.
Everyone talks about how special a person’s first kiss is, but no one discusses what to do when it’s over.
Do I smile? Do I thank him? No, of course not.
When the kiss ends, I pause for a second to open my eyes and look at the guy whose voice has guided my way for so long, whose show was my window to the world when I lived locked inside my room. My first crush, my first friend after everything I went through, and now my first kiss.
My eyes meet his, and my nervousness and fear fade as I lose myself in his hungry gaze. His lips are red and chapped from the kiss.
And then I understand why nobody talks about what happens after a kiss. It’s a moment of deep intimacy, of shared complicity. It’s a moment in which you see the other person’s expression soften, their eyes sparkle with emotion.
Kang gently cradles my cheek. “What have you done to me, Klara?” he asks, grinning. “My heart is about to burst.”
Mine too.
I open my mouth to say this when the balcony doors swing open and Kang and I pull apart. From the look on Diego’s face, I can tell we weren’t quick enough. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”—my redheaded friend tries to hide a smile—“interrupt, but we have a situation.”
“What happened?”
“Perla got into it with Yana.”
I tense up when I hear that name and they both notice. “Where is she?” I ask, following Diego back inside, Kang silently trailing us.
“She’s in one of the bedrooms. Ellie is with her, but they wouldn’t let me in. I think we should take her home.”
I try to remember who Ellie is before realizing she’s the quiet girl in class who never takes her eyes off Diego. I think I’ve seen a certain sadness in her face when she looks at me, as if she imagines I’m interested in him. If she only knew the reality…
We enter the house and immediately feel the booming music coming from downstairs. I’d almost completely forgotten about the party.
“Why did she get into a fight with Yana?” I ask, concerned.
Diego shrugs. “She wouldn’t tell me.”
I don’t like the sound of this at all. And it doesn’t help that something is up with Diego, who’s tense and serious as soon as I mention Yana. I hope he doesn’t still have feelings for her. I know Yana is his ex, and while he hasn’t shared the story, I have a hunch that she broke his heart.
When I get to the room, Ellie opens the door a crack so that all I can see is the brown scarf she’s wearing. She looks at Kang and then Diego. “Perla wants the guys to stay outside.”
I glance over my shoulder and smile at them.
“We’ll wait here,” Kang says, gesturing for me to go in.
Diego nods.
I enter the room to find Perla sitting on the side of a bed, gripping the edge of the mattress. “Perla?”
She looks up and gives me a tense smile. And then I see that her neck is covered in scratches.
“What happened?”
I walk over to get a better look at her neck. The scratches aren’t deep, but many of them are swollen and there are a couple faint trails of blood.
“For God’s sake, are you all right?”
Perla maintains her calm, trying to convince me that everything’s fine. “It’s just a few scratches—she got it worse, believe me.”
“What happened?” I sit next to her on the bed.
“What happened…?” Perla lets out a long sigh. “Well, I’m sick of it. I’ve recently come to the realization that the world won’t fix itself. Nothing is ever going to change if we don’t stand up to people like Yana.”
I know what she means; I’ve had the same thought many times.
If we want to see positive change in the world, we have to start with ourselves, with the people around us.
More often than not, we don’t act, thinking, What difference can I make in a world with billions of people?
But one change, no matter how small, can mean everything to one person, and that makes it worth it.
I look at Ellie and she averts her eyes.
“What did she do?”
“She was harassing Adrian and Ben,” Perla says. “Calling them names. And then”—her eyes flick to Ellie—“she started picking on Ellie for standing in a corner all by herself. What does she think this is? High school? She wasn’t gonna get away with it.”
I don’t dare look at Ellie, because I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.
“Anyway, I saw red,” Perla goes on. “I couldn’t control myself; I’ve never felt such a strong urge to hurt another human being until tonight, Klara. I’ve never even had a serious disagreement with anyone, but apparently, I hold a previously unknown capacity for violence.”
“Anyone can become violent, Perla. Some of us are able to control ourselves better than others, but, honestly, I’m glad you stood up to that girl. Even if that maybe wasn’t the best way to do it.”
“I enjoyed every single slap I gave her, Klara. It’s scary how much I enjoyed it.”
“How are Adrian and Ben?”
“They’re fine. They left right after the fight. The truth is that hardly anyone was paying attention to Yana when she was messing with them, but, unfortunately, she had an audience by the time she started in on Ellie.”
This time I can’t help but look at Ellie. “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what I’m apologizing for—maybe for the world, for the existence of people like Yana.
“I’m fine,” she assures me.
“Ellie…”
“It’s okay, it was never going to be a perfect night. I was an overachiever, trying too many things at once for my first attempt at socialization.”
And that makes me even sadder, because Ellie came out of her shell to go to the game and then come to this party. She was making an effort to improve her social life, to step out of her world of books, and for someone like Yana to sabotage all her efforts just seems so shitty to me.
Perla stands up. “I’m so ready to get out of here, but I don’t want everyone to see these scratches.”
Ellie removes her scarf, and Perla, understanding her intention, lifts up her hands in protest. “No, no; you don’t have to do that.”
“Come on,” Ellie insists, wrapping the scarf around Perla’s neck.
Then, still holding the ends of the scarf, she smiles sweetly, and says, “Thank you, Perla. I know I’m socially awkward, shy, too quiet, and reserved.
It’s something I’ve been trying so hard to change.
I don’t want to be the girl who blends into the background, even though it feels like that’s all I am.
Tonight, though, you made me feel like I matter, like I’m not invisible. Truly, thank you.”
One small action can mean everything.
Perla smiles back and places her hands over Ellie’s. “You don’t need to thank me for anything. It was a pleasure to put Yana in her place. Besides”—she pats Ellie’s hand—“we got something good out of it.”
“What?” Ellie asks.
“You took your nose out of your books for once and spoke to us.”
“That’s right,” I agree.
Ellie laughs shyly.
Looking at Ellie, noticing how much I see myself in her, I can’t help but extend an offer. “Would you care to join our group on campus from now on?”
Ellie puts her hand to her chest dramatically. “I’d love to.”
Perla and I imitate her, bringing our hands to our chests.
Then we all burst out laughing.
“By the way.” I look at Perla. “What happened to you not leaving me alone?” I smirk at her.
“I’m sorry, Klara! That wasn’t my intention. Diego just kinda tugged me along, and Kang was there, so I knew you’d at least be in good hands. Please forgive me.” Perla pouts and gives me puppy eyes.
“Stop that. Fine. I forgive you.” I laugh.
A knock on the door brings us back to reality.
“Hey, everything all right in there?” comes Diego’s concerned voice from the other side of the door.
“Ready to go?” I ask Perla.
She nods and I see Ellie adjusting her hair. I’d forgotten about my suspicion that she likes Diego. And, when we open the door, I realize I’d also forgotten about the tall guy who kissed me a few minutes ago. When I see him, his lips chapped, my cheeks immediately go red.
“Ready to go?” Diego asks, looking at me, Perla, and then at Ellie, whose eyes dart away to avoid his gaze.
Perla smiles in an attempt to ease the tension. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Suddenly, I have an idea. “Ellie?”
“Yes?”
“Do you need a ride home?”
“Oh, no, I’ll take an Uber, don’t worry.”
“No way, you can ride with us. Kang has to take Diego to pick up his car from the soccer field. I’m sure Diego can drive you home after.”
My redheaded friend looks at me quizzically.
“Yeah,” Kang says to Ellie. “You can ride with us.”