Chapter 6 - Bridget #2
I looked up. He was watching me with that intent gaze. “I don’t apologize that much.”
He considered that. “Maybe not about work. But this is the second time you’ve apologized for an understandable reaction to a stressful situation.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I looked down at my lap. Annoyingly, my first instinct was to apologize again.
“You don’t need to apologize for your emotions,” he said.
A tiny kernel of anger flared. “That’s easy to say when you aren’t judged for even having emotions. Some guys in my freshman year lab started trying to track another student’s period because she got ‘hysterical’ over some poor results.”
That had been my first experience in a university environment. I took all of my classes online, but still had to go in for lab work, and I was surprised the situation hadn’t scared me completely away. But I had just made myself small like I always did, hoping they wouldn’t zero in on me next.
Nathan made a disgusted noise. “I hope someone reported them.”
I scoffed. The rattling of the train intensified as we barreled around a corner. “Why? That wouldn’t change anything. Men like that don’t care. They just want us to be quiet.”
His eyes bored into mine. There was a ring of lighter brown in each iris that I’d never noticed before. I looked at his mouth, his full lips drawn down at the corners, and remembered the brief smile he’d shown me a year before.
A hint of his scent rose between us. I inhaled deeper before I could stop myself. It reminded me of a candle I found in a shop once, smoky and rich, but also citrusy somehow. “Vetiver Blanc” it had been called.
“For what it’s worth, you don’t need to apologize to me for anything. And I don’t want you to be quiet. I value your opinion.”.
Which, honestly, was incredibly unfair because he spent most of his time ignoring me. “Great. But you do think my work is sloppy,” I said before I could stop myself.
“What are you talking about?” Nathan straightened in his seat. “Your work is impeccable.”
I shook my head, looking away. The train slowed to a stop as we reached a station.
Only ten more to go until we reached Brookwood and the Omega Center.
A few other passengers trickled on. “The first email you ever sent to me, you told me people wouldn’t take me seriously.
It didn’t feel great coming from the postdoc on a study I was already anxious about joining. ”
The train doors closed again.
“That’s not at all what I meant,” Nathan murmured. I kept my eyes glued to the window across from me. I regretted even bringing it up.
“Bridget. Let me explain. Please.”
I sighed and turned to look at him. “It’s fine. Sorry for bringing it up.”
“Don’t apologize,” he said, looking stern again. “I’m sorry for being… hard on you. You’re an excellent researcher with solid instincts and an even more solid work ethic. I just want to make sure you’re not selling yourself short.”
It was a surreal experience, watching Nathan Manalo give me an actual compliment. Heat washed over my face, and I had to look away again.
“If I ever made you feel disrespected, I sincerely apologize. That’s the last thing I would ever want.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. He sounded genuine, and his good opinion of me was suddenly very important. “Apology accepted. And I promise I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I thought you hated me.”
Nathan made a strangled sound. “I definitely don’t hate you.”
“Likewise,” I said, and smiled at him. One corner of his mouth hitched up before dropping back into a scowl.
We talked about work for the rest of the ride. Now that I knew he wasn’t secretly judging everything I said, I felt a lot more comfortable sharing my thoughts.
As the train rattled over the bridge to Brookwood, the conversation lulled.
Nathan cleared his throat. “About today. You’re sure he didn’t make you uncomfortable?”
It took me a moment to realize he was asking about Andrew. “No, not at all. He and his partner were very… kind.” I couldn’t help the blush that raced across my skin.
They had been more than kind. Andrew holding me, purring for me, was an experience I would have gladly extended for hours. Gabriel’s swift action and gentle embrace had been equally comforting, if not quite as visceral. Not to mention they were both gorgeous.
“Okay. Good. We’ll talk to security tomorrow to make sure they don’t allow your mother upstairs again.” The winter sun illuminated the inside of the train car and highlighted the purple shadows under his eyes. Was he not sleeping?
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
He raised one eyebrow. “I’m going to worry about it. I want to make sure you feel safe.”
My stomach swooped pleasantly. “Thank you. But I’ll handle it.”
When the train finally pulled into the station nearest the Omega Center, I was mortified all over again.
Nathan had trekked all the way out there for me, and for what?
There were no shadowy figures waiting for me on the platform.
I also didn’t want him to know I lived at the Omega Center.
I knew the perception of women like me. I didn’t think I could handle his pity.
But there was also a tiny part of me that remembered what happened to my friend Maggie, when she’d been attacked right outside the Center gates.
“Thank you for coming with me,” I said as we exited the station.
The wind was more mild outside the city, but it still whistled through the bare trees that lined the street.
“I appreciate it, even if it ended up being unnecessary. And I would normally use this opportunity to apologize, but I won’t. ”
“You’d better not,” Nathan said, then seemed startled at his own joke, which made me laugh more than the joke itself.
The walk was short and before long we were outside the Omega Center gates. Comprehension dawned in Nathan’s eyes, but he had the decency not to comment on my living situation.
“I am sorry I can’t invite you in for coffee or something. The director would get the wrong idea if I brought an Alpha inside.”
Nathan cleared his throat. “We wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression. Thank you for letting me take you home. I’ll sleep better knowing you’re okay.”
I waved over my shoulder as I hurried up to the gate and entered my code to unlock it. I felt Nathan’s eyes on me the whole way. There would be plenty of time to analyze the events of the day, but first I needed to grill Steffi and see if she had any idea how my mother could have found me.
Maybe a shower first, I thought, catching a bit of Andrew and Gabriel’s lingering scents on my hair. An Alpha’s scent on me might actually cause Steffi a heart attack from excitement.