Chapter 10 - Bridget
The next Monday came much too quickly.
I spent the intervening weekend in alternating states of sickening shame and even more sickening anticipation.
I dreaded seeing Nathan again, while my treacherous body was clamoring for more of his scent.
Even movies weren’t enough to distract me completely.
If Rear Window wasn’t able to banish thoughts of Nathan’s arms around me, I was in trouble.
The worst part was wondering what he was thinking. Was he angry with me for throwing myself at him? Was he also having trouble sleeping because he couldn’t stop picturing what might have happened if he hadn’t stepped away?
Was he also touching himself guiltily in the shower?
I wore my oldest, baggiest sweatshirt, threw my hair in a careless bun, and forced myself to leave the Center without putting on makeup. I would not make Nathan think I was dressing up for him.
I tried not to think about him on the train. But the other option was reliving my dance with Gabriel, and how he’d made me feel like Ginger Rogers in Top Hat. Not to mention that exhilarating moment when I’d thought Andrew had been looking at me with naked hunger.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew what happened when an Omega found a scent match.
Their hormones went haywire, creating neurological pathways that convinced them the Alpha was their ideal mate and they should do anything to secure a bond.
Even if I hadn’t learned all about the phenomenon in my many biology courses, Maggie’s highly detailed descriptions of her reaction to her pack would be enough to put the nail in the coffin.
Something about Andrew’s pheromones was stirring up that dormant part of me.
None of this is what I wanted. I wanted good research experience for my Ph.D. application, not the heart-pumping adrenaline rush of attraction to three supremely unavailable men. It was terrifying and embarrassing to not be able to control my reaction to them.
But the fear and shame didn’t stop me from imagining Andrew’s hands on me, finding all the hidden spots I hardly let myself touch.
I could almost conjure up his scent in the middle of the train car, even surrounded by strangers.
What would that rich, husky voice sound like in my ear if he whispered filthy things to me?
And what if Gabriel were watching?
I crossed my arms tightly across my chest before I could fish out my phone and do something insane like Google pictures of them together. The train ride seemed to take twice as long as usual.
It was way too early to get to the lab, but I wanted to beat Nathan there and claim the metaphorical high ground.
I held my breath and opened the lab door, but there was no one there. Which made sense, since the sun had barely risen by the time I got off the train.
Relief and disappointment coursed through me in equal measure. I made a cup of tea, intending to relax for a few minutes before I started feeding the cells. But as soon as I entered the prep lab, I yelped and ran towards the clean area, my tea forgotten.
Through the glass, I could see one of the incubator doors — the one holding the raw Omega MSC samples — hanging wide open.
I frantically washed my hands and donned my PPE, but didn’t skip any steps.
It wouldn’t do any good to contaminate any of the other samples.
As soon as I stepped into the clean room, my heart sank even further.
The temperature gauge read thirty degrees celsius, when it should have been at thirty-seven.
Who’d left the door open? It had been Anvi’s rotation for the weekend shift, but I couldn’t believe she would be so careless.
“Fuck.” I surveyed the damage. I could worry about how it happened later.
I started by checking the cultures’ morphology under the microscope. About half of them, the ones closest to the door, were already past salvaging. The door had clearly been open for at least a day. I felt a brief pang for each culture as I placed it in the biohazard disposal.
The other half of the cultures were less straightforward. I decided to run a trypan blue count to see if there were any that weren’t stressed beyond repair.
Before I could really get stuck into the work, Nathan arrived. It spoke to how big of a disaster this was that I felt only a twinge of anxiety.
“I got here about—” I checked my watch, “—an hour ago and the incubator door was open. The temp gauge was at thirty degrees.” It had gone back up to thirty-five with the door properly closed. “The humidity was way off, too, but I don’t remember the exact number. I just started doing checks.”
“Trypan blue?” Nathan asked, immediately clocking the seriousness of the situation.
We worked quietly, one of us at each biosafety cabinet. At the end of about thirty minutes, we’d finished our counts and had just two salvageable samples out of the thirty we’d gotten up to. The other incubator with the differentiated stem cells was thankfully unaffected.
“This is not good,” Nathan said when we’d placed the cultures back in the incubator.
“That is an understatement,” I said. “How are we going to expand the cohort now?”
I hadn’t been happy about Lisbeth’s idea, mostly because we were still waiting on giving the subjects their second round of injections. But I’d dutifully worked on the protocol change request documentation with Nathan, and the IRB had approved the change the morning of the gala.
“You said the door was open?” Nathan asked.
“Yes. And I know what you’re thinking, but Anvi wouldn’t leave the door open like that. There has to be something wrong with the latch.” I glared at the perfectly functioning door. Nathan raised his eyebrows. “You can’t just accuse her. Someone could have come in. We should check the keycard logs.”
“I’m sure Lisbeth will want to. She’s going to kill us.” Nathan went to run his hands through his hair, remembered he was wearing PPE, and stopped himself. “Take a break. I’ll clean up.”
I gratefully made my way to the office for a fresh cup of tea. The day was already an enormous mess, but at least the catastrophe had made my first encounter with Nathan less awkward.
Anvi breezed in a few minutes later, right on time. “Good morning! How was the gala? I’m still so pissed I couldn’t go.” Anvi had been babysitting her niece, thank god. I couldn’t imagine if she’d been a witness to me dancing with Gabriel. I would never have heard the end of it.
“Listen, there was a problem over the weekend. Did you see anything strange when you came to check on the cells?”
Anvi’s cheeks colored and her jaw dropped in horror. “Oh my god. Please don’t kill me, but I totally forgot to come. Oh no, did they all die?! I can’t believe I was so stupid!”
I placed a hand on her arm. “Wait. You didn’t come at all?”
“No,” she wailed. “And now the study is ruined, and it’s all my fault.”
I shushed her. “The door was left open on one of the incubators, and I know it was closed when we left on Friday night. So if you didn’t come over the weekend, it has to be a mechanical issue.”
Anvi blanched. “I totally did not leave a door open, I swear. Dr. Manalo scared the shit out of me about that.”
“Okay, we need to tell him you didn’t come this weekend.” When she looked panicked, I patted her shoulder. I pulled her down the hallway to the prep lab. “Trust me, missing the weekend shift is way better than leaving the door open. Still careless, but better.”
Nathan emerged from the cleanroom looking severe. I nudged Anvi to start talking.
She launched into an apology and explained that she’d forgotten to come. “But only because my niece has hand, foot and mouth disease and my sister is pregnant so she didn’t want to get it too.”
He frowned, then looked over his shoulder at the incubator. He turned back to Anvi. “Don’t miss another weekend shift. I’m going to have to record this in the log.”
She nodded meekly. “It won’t happen again.”
“Now that I know they went two days without feeding, go feed them now. We’ll also need to do visual checks. Mark any with unusual morphology for me to review. But we’ll run a fluorescent live/dead assay, too,” Nathan said. Anvi ducked her head and scampered towards the cleanroom.
He leaned against the center island, his arms crossed. “You don’t think she’s lying?”
“No. She told me she hadn’t come in before I said anything about the door being left open.”
“That latch is functioning perfectly,” he said.
I sighed. “Yes. It is.”
“I need to call Lisbeth.” He left me standing in the prep lab. I couldn’t catch even a hint of his scent.
As expected, Lisbeth was furious at the mistake. When Nathan suggested we look at the lab logs to see who could have been responsible, she exploded. We were all in her office. Anvi was actually cowering behind me.
“I don’t fucking care who did it,” she growled. The pepper notes of her scent were stronger than ever. “You need to produce the documentation that allows me to get a new batch with fast-tracked approval for additional funding. Do it. Now.”
“Absolutely,” Nathan said, his back straight. He never flinched at her temper. “We’ll get it done.”
We turned to leave.
“Bridget. Stay for a moment,” she called out.
Nathan stopped too and met my eye with a concerned expression. I shook my head slightly. I didn’t need him to be my rescuer again.
“And close the door please, Nathan,” Lisbeth said. He kept eye contact with me until the door clicked shut.
I turned reluctantly back to face Lisbeth, my stomach lurching with anxiety.
“So. You had a nice time at the gala.” It wasn’t a question. She was sitting back in her chair, appraising me.
I lifted my chin slightly. “I did.”
“Bridget… My dear… How do I put this…” She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Did you know that Dr. Davis is the one who asked for you to be part of the research team?”
“What? No. I thought you had—”
“Oh, I was all for it. But he was the one who first brought up your name. He was quite insistent about it, actually.”
None of this made any sense. “How did he even… know who I am?”
“The paper, silly. The one in which I kindly named you as an author.” There was an edge to Lisbeth’s indulgent smile now. “So how do you imagine he feels about watching you gallivant around with one of the study’s participants?”
“I didn’t—”
“Bridget. I understand. Your biological urges can be hard to control. But I thought you valued your role here more than chasing an Alpha.”
I was a child all over again, being punished for something I hadn’t even done. Indignation boiled up in me. But I didn’t have the luxury of correcting her.
“I’m sorry if my behavior reflected poorly on the team,” I said instead, and I was surprised I didn’t choke on the words as they came out.
Lisbeth’s smile cleared and my friendly mentor was back. “Good girl.”
At the end of the long, exhausting day, my brain felt wrung out.
We’d prepared the next round of stem cell solutions for injection into each of the subjects, and our stock was worryingly low.
If Lisbeth wasn’t able to secure a new batch of Omega MSCs, it would completely derail the study.
And it’s not like those samples were growing on trees.
The small seed of excitement that had been growing inside me at the thought of seeing Andrew, and possibly Gabriel, again had almost been strangled by Lisbeth’s comments. If I was already being scrutinized, I needed to keep my distance as much as possible.
But the seed was still there, growing away.
You’re a masochist, I thought. Which was probably true, but I didn’t seem able to stop myself.