Chapter Thirty-Six Si
Si would have liked to have been as certain as he’d made himself sound that his and Adam’s friendship wasn’t broken, or at least in serious need of repair. Zig had been due at work soon after they’d all met in town, so Si had been left to go back to the flat on his own.
He’d switched on the telly but couldn’t focus on anything. Should he give Adam a call? Build on the brief contact this afternoon? But if Adam still needed time to come to terms with him and Zig being back together, Si didn’t want to ruin things by rushing him.
He just hoped Adam didn’t need too much time, that was all. Cos the longer they stayed out of touch, the easier it’d be for Adam to let it all slide. Decide he didn’t really need Si in his life, like he’d done after Si had left London all them years ago.
Bugger. Si had told himself he wasn’t going to dwell on the past. It was water under the bridge, and didn’t they say you could never cross the same river twice? Si hoped they weren’t wrong about that.
He hadn’t liked that river much.
When the phone rang, he jumped a mile. Too bloody broody by half. It was Sasha.
“All right, Sash, me love?” he asked heartily. “Didn’t see you at the Prince of Wales last night. You missed a good band.”
“Like I wanted to spend the night playing gooseberry to you and your London lover-boy. How’s that going, then?”
“It’s good. Really good.” Si couldn’t help breaking into a smile. Then his mood sobered. “Worried about Adam, though. Not sure how he’s feeling about things right now.”
“Hah. Be grateful. I’ve had him bending my ear all week about you and your bloke.”
“Yeah? What’s he been saying?” Si held his breath.
“He’s worried about you, babe. Scared you’ll get hurt again. That’s fifty percent of the time. The rest of it is all about him feeling guilty for being a terrible mate.” She paused. “Which to be fair, he was a bit, after you broke up with Zig the first time.”
Si frowned. “The first time? When do you reckon the second time I break up with him’s gonna be?”
“I meant, the first time you went out with him! Jeez, don’t put words in my mouth. I hope you’ll be disgustingly happy with him and die old and wrinkly in each other’s hairy arms, okay?”
“Sorry, Sash. You’re the best. How’s things with you, anyway? Still in touch with what’s-her-face?”
“Gone a bit quiet on her end.” She sighed. “So bloody well sort things out with Adam, yeah? I need some good news in my life.”
“I’ll do me best. Promise. Maybe I’ll give him a call tonight.”
“You do that.”
When Si hung up, he noticed he’d missed a call while he’d been talking to Sasha.
It had been from Adam. Si swallowed, and hit Call.
Adam’s voice was breathless when he answered. “Si. Thanks for calling me back.”
That sounded a bit formal and had the added disadvantage of not giving Si clue one as to what Adam had been calling to say. “All right, mate?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Zig at work now?”
“Yep.” Did that mean Adam wanted to say stuff he didn’t want Zig to have any chance of hearing? Si’s heart sank.
“Cool. Fancy heading to the Isle of Avalon for a quick pint? Me and you, like the old days, yeah?”
Si scratched his beard. “Uh. Gotta be blunt, if this is gonna be you getting up my arse about Zig, I ain’t exactly in the mood.”
“No, it’s . . . Look, just meet me, will you? Promise I’m not gonna have a go at you.”
Fifteen minutes later, Si took a long draught of his pint of Becket’s, and set it firmly down on the table. “What’s this all about, as if I couldn’t guess?”
Adam sighed and put down the menu he’d been browsing. “Look, I wanna clear the air, okay? I know I’ve been pretty down on Zig, but if he makes you happy, I guess I’m gonna have to live with it.”
“Cheers for the ringing endorsement.” The sarcasm came out on automatic, but inside, Si’s heart lifted in hope. Cautious hope, mind. “So, not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but what’s brought this on? Bit of a change of heart from last week.”
“Yeah . . .” Adam hung his head. “Look, I dunno if he told you, but I had a word with him this afternoon. Before we saw you.”
Si swallowed. “No. He didn’t mention that.”
“And I think maybe—maybe—you might be right, and he’s changed? Like, I’m not saying he has, but it’s possible.” Adam’s cheeks reddened. “Saw the way you and him were together, and all.”
“Okay.” Si’s voice came out hoarse.
“And I had a chat with Corin about it. And Sasha. Mostly Sasha, if I’m honest. Made me see I’m not being supportive. Not being a good mate. Like, I gotta let you make your own decisions, and be there for you when—uh, whatever happens.”
When it all goes tits up, you mean. Si couldn’t help the warmth that flooded through him, regardless. It was more than he’d hoped for, Adam saying all this when he clearly thought it was going to be an epic disaster. “Cheers, mate. And yeah, he does.”
“What?”
“Make me happy.”
“And you’re certain he’s not into anything dodgy?”
“Course I am. Wouldn’t be with him if I weren’t.
” Si rubbed his beard, trying to think how to convince Adam without betraying all of Zig’s secrets.
“Look, he had a . . . an experience with his dad and that cockweasel Trent, about five years ago. It showed him what they were really like, and he knew he didn’t want no part of it.
They ended up in jail, cos of Zig. Cos he stood up for what was right. ”
Adam’s eyes widened, and he put down his pint. “Seriously?”
Si nodded and took an angry swallow of his beer. “And I’ll tell you this, if I ever meet that father of his or see that Trent again, them and me are gonna have words.”
“Sounds like they’d be the ones wanting to have words with Zig,” Adam said grimly. He sat there a moment, then took a draught of his beer. “Okay. I’ll give him a chance. But if he ever . . . If you ever get worried about him or think something’s dodgy, you tell me, okay?”
His heart melting, Si reached over the table and grasped Adam’s arm. “I won’t have to. But yeah, I will. Cross my heart.”
“Cheers, Si. Makes me feel a lot better.” Adam ducked his head. “I’ve been feeling like I failed you, the first time round, you know? I should have been a better mate.”
“What? That’s bollocks, that is. You’ve always been my best mate.”
Adam laughed. “Don’t let Sasha hear you say that.”
“What? She knows. I love her to bits and then some, but you and me, we go way back, don’t we?”
“Yeah. Yeah, we do, and I never should’ve let you come back here on your own without making sure you were okay.”
“I survived, didn’t I? And you had a lot going on, what with uni and that. And gods know, with your mum.”
“Still should’ve kept in touch better.”
“You’re here now, ain’t you?” Si found himself examining the rings on the table, a memento mori of pints long passed through drinkers’ bodies and out the other side.
“And it means a lot, you looking out for me. Even if it pissed me off, you being so hostile to Zig. I know it came from a good place.” He frowned. “But, you know, don’t do it again.”
Adam laughed. “I won’t. Well, I’ll try not to.” He sighed. “You’re a good bloke, you know that? Not sure I could be so forgiving, if it was me.”
“Oi. Thought you weren’t gonna slag Zig off no more?”
“I wasn’t!” Adam hung his head. “Well, okay, maybe I was a bit. But the rest of it was about me.”
Si smiled softly. “Give it a rest, you daft bastard. We were all kids back then, weren’t we?”
“Yeah. Look at us now, all grown up.” Adam laughed. “Dunno about you, but I still don’t feel like I’ve got a clue what I’m doing half the time.”
“Mate,” Si said seriously. “You honestly think anyone does?”