7. “If you like nerds, raise your hand. If you dont, raise your standards.” - Violet Haberdasher.
Chapter 7
“If you like nerds, raise your hand. If you don't, raise your standards.” - Violet Haberdasher.
Dylan
“ H ey Dancing Queen, I know you’re going for Bruce Wayne,” my sister’s dulcet tones came from behind me on the stairs as I looked at myself in the mirror, “but I think you look more like Alfred. Be careful in case they try to put a tray of canapes in your hands tonight.”
I didn’t think I looked too bad at all. If the Muscle Mary from the tux shop had seen me in this get-up, then I might have even gotten asked out on that date. I mean, I would have said no, because my stupid boy heart was all tied up with a certain football jock. I was such a sap.
I inspected myself in the mirror once more, my hair parted and combed to the left. I normally combed it to the right, Rebel right here . I fit this double-breasted black tux with black silk lapels and collar really well. I had on the pleated white dress shirt that Hailey said I had to wear, as it ‘hugged me in all the right and wrong places’.
A black bow tie sat crooked at my neck; I had tried to fix it for ten minutes before giving up and embracing the mess. I pulled open the front door, looking down the street to see if the cab I ordered half an hour ago was willing to deign us with its presence. The cold wind whistled between the branches of the black willow trees that crowded the sidewalk. When all I see was the tree-lined street with parked cars lining it, I pulled my head back in the house. Slightly annoyed, I decided to turn a bit of that irritation on the pain the ass behind me.
“Be careful that no one mistakes you for a stray cat and tries to send you to that great big litter box in the sky.” I smiled sweetly at her reflection while pointing towards the rats’ nest she called the top of her head.
The sounds from dad’s TV in the lounge suddenly disappeared. Both me and my sister looked at each other shocked, an almost horrified look dawning on both of our faces. The only time Dad had ever turned the TV off was anytime the Dallas Cowboys won the Superbowl, which come on… happened frequently , and to tell us Grandpa had passed away at the nursing home in Tennessee. It wasn’t football season, and we were all out of grandparents, so I guess we were both at a loss.
My dad pulled himself up from his armchair and strolled out into the hallway. “I have two amazing and beautiful children, your mother would be so proud of you both.” He straightened my black bow tie before patting some imaginary lint of my shoulder. “And you are looking extra handsome tonight, son.”
I was stumped for words, my monosyllabic dad who normally grunted approval or pointed at the things he wanted and expected us to understand his wild gesturing had just blown the last vestiges of calm I had left holding back the wall of panic and emotion that pressed against the wall of my psyche. A single tear fell from my eye.
“Hey none of that,” my dad lightly scolded. “Don’t you have a prom to get to?” The bell rang at the front door. “Wow, cabs are seriously more professional than in my day, they just used to beep at the curb,” he mused, reaching for the door and pulling it open.
“Austin?” I squeaked, as on the other side of the front door was every prom queen’s wet dream. I gave him a long appreciative look up and down, a happy smile spreading across my face. “Is that….?”
“I’m so happy you picked up the reference,” he laughed, looking down at his suit which was made up of a black morning coat with a short tail, a white waist coat with matching white bow tie and handkerchief, and dark grey trousers with shiny black winklepicker shoes. His muscles filled out the suit a lot differently than the reference he was trying to put across though.
“That’s the same type of suit Rex Harrison wears in My Fair Lady , right?” I allowed my eyes to traverse his frame once more. His face heated at me obvious perusal of him. “Very nice,” I managed to stutter out.
“You have homework!” my dad shouted towards my sister, pointing toward her bedroom. She huffed out some choice words about my apparent lack of style before stomping up the stairs. “I hope you boys have a great time tonight. Look after my boy, Austin.”
“Dad!” I hissed at his back as he retreated into the living room, the TV turned up to its ridiculous volume once more. I winced, turning back around to face Austin, “Sorry about him.”
“It’s really okay,” Austin smiled at where my dad sat focused on some random gameshow with a bleached and tanned host and a bejeweled lovely assistant. “It’s cool that he worries about you.”
“Austin, don’t take this the wrong way.” I leaned forward, whispering the next part, “What are you doing here?”
He looked around the hallway sheepishly before his nervous smile settled on me. “Okay, well, I told the boys to go ahead without me as I had to help my mom out with a few bits at home first. I got done early though and honestly, I really wanted to see you in your suit before prom, and I wanted you to see me in mine.” His blush deepened.
“You wanted me to see you?”
“Yeah I mean,” he flourished his hand down his suit and chuckled, “I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb at prom wearing this, but I thought you would get a kick out of it, so I rented it.”
“You mean you did this for me?” Even I was surprised by how incredulous my voice sounded. His gaze snapped up to meet mine, stepping forward so that we were mere inches apart. I needed to look up slightly to meet his stare.
“Of course I did.” He reached up to push a loose strand of hair away from my face. “You know how much you mean to me right?” I was surprised by the confusion on his features. He looked so fucking adorable, all it would take was for me to surge forward only a little and my mouth would be on his. I could almost taste him, he was so close.
I didn’t answer as I was really not sure what answer he wanted from me. Sure, we were friends. Maybe more than regular friends, but this closeness was all we had. This and no further. “Well, I have a cab coming, so I guess I can meet you at prom if you drove here.”
He looked around the room, my mother’s tchotchkes on the small white cabinet on the wall all of a sudden catching his enthralled interest. A sheepish look on his face alerted me to mischief afoot. “What have you done?”
“Well that’s the thing you see.” He turned back to face me and shrugged. “I saw a cab waiting outside and I thought it might be for you, so I went and gave the guy ten bucks to get out of here.”
“You what?” Deep frown lines furrowed my brow. “Why on earth would you do that?”
His hands linked with mine. “Because I want you to come to prom with me.” A hopeful smile filled me with hope. “I want to be the one that takes you to prom, if you will let me?”
“What about everyone there?” I pulled my hands back. “If you walk in with me, at prom, they are going to know something is up and start asking questions.”
“So?”
“What do you mean so?” I stammered. This motherfucker is crazy .
“So what if people talk?” His hands snagged mine again. “Also, if you are worried about gossip, people will be all wrapped up in their own thing that they won’t even notice anyone else arriving.”
“I think you are imagining that you are like everyone else.” Bless him and his privilege.
“What do you mean? I am like everyone else!” His indignant argument held no weight under his own clear skepticism of his statement.
“No one would care if I showed up Austin, but you are captain of the football team. People will know when you show up.”
“Babe, I would care.” He pulled me against his chest, my arms automatically going around his waist. He rested his chin gently on top of my head. My heart pounded in my chest partly due to his overwhelming proximity, but also due to the way babe had slipped so easily off his tongue.
He didn’t even battle to catch the word out of the air and stuff it back in his mouth and justify it as temporary insanity or anything. “I don’t like the way you think of yourself,” he murmured against my hair.
“Austin I…”
“Shhhh, let’s get you to the prom.”
The whole drive to the hotel where the prom committee had finally decided to hold the infernal event was laced with awkward silence and an air of apprehension for something that seemed just out of my reach. I was still so confused about what was supposed to happen when we got there. He’d told me that no one would pay us much attention, but I knew he was wrong. He’d just had the luxury of only being noticed under a positive light. Arriving at the senior prom with the biggest nerd at school would only draw the type of attention I had spent the past few years desperately trying to avoid.
There was also the flip side of this however, the side of the prom which I’d once described as a patriarchal display of power, beauty and shallowness, much like when farmers paraded their prize cattle around the livestock market trying to entice the butcher to buy and to shame the farmers with inferior stock. Hailey would knock out a few teeth if she knew I was unintentionally comparing her to a prize cow.
I was now getting slightly giddy at the prospect of showing up with the most popular boy in school on my arm and a ‘fuck you all’ expression on my face. I quickly reminded myself, however, that I was not Molly Ringwald, Drew Barrymore or Rachel Leigh Cook.
“Listen Austin.” He eyed me warily out the corner of his eye as he pulled down the ramp into the underground car park of the hotel. “I am so grateful for the ride, but I think it might be better if we go in separately.”
“What?” His foot stepped down on the brake a little harder than he probably meant to.
“I want you to have a good night and I don’t think you can do that by showing up with me.” I kept my eyes trained on the clasped hands on my lap.
“Dylan but I want…”
“Please?” I sneaked a look at him, my heart crushed at the sad expression on his face. “I don’t want to be worrying all night about what being with me is doing to you and I don’t want to spend the whole night trying to ignore the whispers and stuff that will happen if we walk in there together.”
Austin turned off the ignition of his car, turning sharply in his seat. Anger burned in his eyes, he opened his mouth as if a whole speech was waiting to emerge, his hands clenched into fists on his lap. In an instant, I watched as the fight leaves him as he passed me the car keys. He reached behind him and opened the door, stepping out of the car and slammed the door closed. Fuck no, I’m not letting him walk away like this . I quickly unbuckled my belt and stepped out of the car, being careful to lock it as I left across the lot in pursuit.
“Austin, wait!”
I shouted as the space between us grew. I noticed another couple at the bank of lifts. He stopped between two parked cars and turned on me.
“What?” He sighed, his fingertips rubbing at his temples. “I’m going in alone, like you wanted remember.”
“You know it’s not like that.” I approached him slowly, my hands coming up in surrender. “You know I would walk in there with you in a heartbeat if it was easy.”
“It is, you just walk in with me,” he pleaded and my heart shattered more.
He just doesn’t understand. He will thank me one day. “Please, I don’t want you to hate me. But I know I’m right. Can you please just trust me on this?”
“But…”
“No buts.” I closed the distance between us, my hand sneaking down to grab his own. “You know how much shit I have had to take from Garrett over the past few years; are you seriously telling me you would be okay with him ruining your one and only senior prom night with the constant shit he would give both of us just to make some statement?”
I saw a dawning realization settle within him. Being the selfish prick I am, I wanted him to continue to fight me on this. Seeing the slow development of approval stung a bit, but I knew that I was right in my actions.
“Do I have to ignore you all night?” He looked over his shoulder as the elevator dinged and the young couple got in.
“I mean,” I shrugged lightly, “I don’t know, maybe come hang out with me for a little bit. It would be nice to see you at prom I guess.” Therefore defeating my actions, but it’s not as noteworthy as walking in together.
“I hate this,” he bit out. Me too buddy. He started to turn to walk to the lift before stopping in his tracks. “I forgot.” He reached into the inside pocket of his morning coat and pulled out a small delicate handkerchief. Opening it up he pulled out three very small stems with purple flowers that seemed to shine in the gloomy car lot. I moved forward to take a closer look. Tears pricked my eyes so quickly I didn’t get chance to dash them away.
“Is that?” I gestured.
“I remember you saying you wished you would have gotten to see Julie Andrews as Eliza Doolittle and that you loved the pictures of her on stage with the basket full of bright violets. I thought it might be cool for you to wear these on your jacket. I mean it’s no corsage or anything, but it’s something you know?” He pulled a pin from his own jacket and attached the flowers to my own. It was a bit wonky and the flowers were slightly crushed from his pocket, but it was possibly the best thing that had ever been given to me.
“I just…” I tried and failed, “I want you to know what this means to me.”
“I know.” He smiled down at me, his fingers coming up to trail across my cheek and along my jaw. “I know.” Leaning down he placed a small kiss on my cheek and then to the side of my mouth. I wanted to groan. I wanted to demand his tongue in my mouth.
However, like a hungry little bird begging for scraps of bread, I was willing to take whatever he was willing to give me. Smiling at me one last time, Austin walked away and disappeared into the elevator.
I didn’t know what I was expecting. I think I’d been expecting some streamers hanging from the ceiling and maybe some trios of balloons in the middle of the tables, like a wedding planned on the back of a cigarette packet. What I was not expecting was for two big burly security guards to be standing in front of a huge set of tall old wooden doors. I gave my name and showed my student ID. is the doors were pulled wide open, revealing what seemed to be a portal transporting us into eighteenth century Paris.
Right away you noticed the tall marble sculpture of Venus and Mars standing in the mezzanine of the large sprawling split-level ballroom. The statue showed Mars in his armored helmet and clutching a spear, but oddly nothing else. His cock and balls dangled in the breeze, unguarded from enemy invaders. In his arms was a swooning Venus who looked up adoringly at her lover. While I didn’t think the prom committee had commissioned a statue, I wouldn’t have put it past them to get the hotel to move the statue to its present location for the picture-perfect appeal. On either side of the giant statue was a wide imperial staircase, handrails festooned with gold ribbon and hunter green vine leaves, interspersed with soft yellow lights giving the descent an almost ethereal feel. Heavy gold and eggshell blue drapes hung along the wall across the expanse of the room, bright golden wall sconces peeking out every thirty feet or so to light up the detailed jacquard pattern in the fabric. I looked up to see the ceiling covered with white, gold and yellow balloons that crowded each other to cover every available surface.
Downstairs, large round tables were set up with tall silver and gold candelabras in their centers with blue, red and purple bougainvillea hanging from each of its arms, trailing down to the surface of the table below. Small tealights with electronic flicker flames were placed here and there on the table surfaces. I held back a shocked laugh as in the crowds of people below I spotted circus performers and magicians moving amongst my classmates, contorting themselves into odd shapes, swallowing fire and dazzling with close-up magic. On the stage, a local band which I had heard playing at a number of the better house parties played covers of songs that would get my dad’s feet tapping. Currently they sang a toned-down version of Alice Cooper’s Poison .
“Son, do you want your picture taken?” I craned my neck to see a photographer standing off to the side of the top of the stairway.
“Oh no I don’t think…” I tried.
“Yes he bloody well will.” My face split into a smile as Hailey’s sharp voice pierced the calm. “He will be having a picture taken with me.”
“Is this your date son?” The photographer grinned. “Well done.”
Hailey came to stand next to me and blushed before punching me lightly in the arm. “Unfortunately I don’t have the correct equipment for this one and I’m not really into pegging.”
The lights from the chandeliers hanging from the tall ceilings and the candles flickering inside the small tealight holders on the table cast a cool warm glow on Hailey’s tan skin and somehow made her dress seem to glow from within. “You look unreal,” I whispered in her ear and gave her cheek a small peck.
We stood underneath the golden balloon arch set up off to the side of the staircase, the expanse of prom laid out beneath us. Hailey lifted my arm over her shoulder and wrapped her own around my waist. “Smile for god’s sake,” she laughed, digging her fingers into my side, the photographer snapping the picture as my face creased into laughter.
We moved along for the next happy couple, Hailey dragging me towards the stairway. “Don’t you want to get your picture taken with Todd?”
“Oh sweetie we did that a while ago.” She waved her hand at me. “I saw you standing up here looking all vulnerable like a gazelle that wandered away from the herd, and I wanted to get a picture with you.”
I frowned as I saw the fleeting look of sadness crossing her face.
“What’s wrong?” I tugged her hand.
“It’s nothing.”
“Hailey.” I tugged gently once more.
“Oh fine,” she sniffed, “I’m just sad that this time next year you will have forgotten me and there will be another Hailey in your life, and I will be god-knows-where While you’re off in New York with a cooler more stylish Hailey.” I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing, which she immediately picked up on and narrowed her gaze at me in a sort of I dare you to make fun of me right now fucker kind of way.
“Hailey, firstly there will only ever be one Hailey for me. You know that. You’re my person.” I pulled her towards me, wrapping an arm over her shoulder. “Second, you won’t be god- knows-where, you will be in Harvard for fuck’s sake and lastly I will never ever forget what you have done for me. You saved me Hailey.”
“Dylan… I…” she stammered.
“No, I’m being serious. I think without you and your friendship I wouldn’t have been able to go on. I think having you in my corner honestly kept me alive.” I clucked against the inside of my cheek. “Now if you have stopped imagining future New York-based Haileys, I would like to get down there and drink some of that obviously spiked punch.” I gestured towards the giant glass bowl in the center of a row of trestle tables set up with trays of food that the PTA imagined that a high school student might crave.
“I know, right,” she smirked. “It’s supposed to be Hawaiian punch but there is so much vodka and rum in that thing that its almost clear again.”
“See no evil.” I shrugged, nodding towards a group of chaperones and teachers standing in a tight huddle off to the side of the dance floor at the top of the room.
I stared in awe at the absolute decadence and potential hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on prom dresses and tux hire, decorations, food, DJs, entertainers and photographers. We moved between the tables to the center of the room. I saw, out the corner of my eye, a shy-looking Todd, waiting for Hailey to finally notice him again. He stood at the edge of the dance floor, bouncing on his toes.
“I think Todd wants to dance.” I nudged her, pointing to her date.
“Todd can wait,” she winked. “I’m here with my best friend and I want to dance with you.”
I pulled away from her slightly. “No Hailey,” I smiled. “We can dance anytime, and I will be stealing a dance from you at some point tonight. Right now however you are going to dance with that muscle bound puppy who has such sad dog eyes that I think I might cry.”
“Are you sure?” she winced as she was already moving away.
“Go,” I laughed, swiping playfully at her with my foot. Hailey squeaked before turning on her heel and making her way towards her date. I smiled wistfully as he held out his hand to her, taking it gently and moving out into the sea of students trying to make this night one that they would never forget. I truly hoped that this night was something Hailey would treasure forever.
I found an empty spot at a table just off the dance floor. I swiped a glass of ‘punch’ from the table on my way there, hoping that within the next half hour I could get at least a little buzz going. I slid into my seat and took a large gulp of what should have been school-friendly punch, as the alcohol seared its way down my throat leaving a pleasant warm feeling.
I watched happily as my mind took on a kind of smooth honey glow as I watched my friend twirl around the floor to the sound of some sixties retro crooner singing about the way someone looked tonight. It surprised me that I was somewhat enjoying myself, and I hadn’t even tried to look around to see where Austin was. The room was so crowded that I wouldn’t have been able to spot him on ground level even if I wanted to, and by god did I want to.
Why was I dreading coming here tonight again?
“Hey there Dorothy!” Garrett’s happy but sneering voice sounded from directly behind me.
Oh yeah, that’s why.