19. Katerina
CHAPTER 19
Katerina
The most nerve-racking seconds of my life pass as I hold Roman’s phone in the palm of my hand and use a cheat code to unlock his phone.
My heart races inside my chest watching the passcode screen clear out for his home screen. I glance up for what feels like the hundredth time in a minute, double checking yet again that no one else is around.
I’m not sure what’s making me do it. What’s made me hack into Roman’s phone other than the fact that I can.
That I’m a thief and doing bad things is like the air that I breathe.
He might think I’m some pet to be played with, but I’m no harmless kitty cat. I survived on the streets all of my life. I can outsmart the best of them when the opportunity presents itself.
I bring up Roman’s texts, scrolling through the list in search of what I don’t know. Some info I could potentially use to my advantage.
Guilt saws away at me as I scroll by Russian text after Russian text, feeling worse as I go. Roman trusted me alone on the rooftop with his phone and what’s the first thing I do the moment he’s gone?
I betray him by hacking into his phone.
The thought to call Rosita occurs to me—and demand that she get help—but then I find I can’t do it. I can’t so much as touch Roman’s phone another second.
Exhaling a shaky breath, I slide it back across the table. As if I never touched it in the first place.
No more than a few seconds go by before the door opens and Roman emerges looking slightly more disgruntled than when he left.
I try to appear natural. But then I remember I don’t know what that means. Should I smile? Pretend I’m more preoccupied with the berry tart we’ve had for dessert? Ask him about what business he tended to? Or would that be too suspicious?
I settle for passing a hand over my curls and glancing up at the sky. “I don’t think I could ever get sick of a view like this.”
“Most feel that way when coming up here, devochka.” He resumes his seat and reaches for the flute of champagne he’d been sipping on.
…he doesn’t suspect a thing.
I sit still, letting that realization settle before I test the waters. “Something important come up?”
“Something always comes up in my world. There is never a dull moment.”
“Maybe that’s why you can’t sleep sometimes. You have too much on your mind.”
Roman grunts in answer, downing the rest of his champagne. “If only you knew. This is a very tenuous time in the family, devochka. Many moving pieces and changing loyalties. The shift happening is… consequential.”
I frown, more guilt whittling away at me. “Does this… um, does this have to do with what your uncle did? How you disfigured him? Because if I’m the reason, then I don’t want?—”
“There is no going back from what I did,” he interjects at once. No remorse can be found in his hoarse tone. Instead, he plucks my flute of champagne and chugs the rest of that too. “I would do it all over again, kitty cat. Except this time I would make sure I finished the job.”
My face flushes with warmth as I’m not even sure how to respond. What do you say to the guy who is proudly proclaiming to you he’d slice the hand of his uncle off for you? Not once but twice? But with regret he didn’t do more damage?
I’m not sure whether to be incredibly flattered or disturbed. It’s almost like a violent bratva boss’s version of ‘I like you a lot’ .
“But, no, it’s not just you,” he goes on with a deep sigh. “The complications existed before you came into the picture. There is a schism happening.”
“Schism?” I murmur. “That… that sounds serious.”
“That’s because it is. But you already know I can’t tell you more. It’s best if you know nothing.”
“Head on a pike?”
He nods. “Head on a pike. The sovietnik has done worse for less. I’m protecting you.”
More warmth washes over me. I find myself unable to meet his gaze as I look bashfully away, though partially from the guilt under the surface.
Roman really has no idea what I was doing and here he is declaring he’ll protect me…
“Come,” he says. “Time to go inside. It’s getting late.”
I’m escorted from the table on the rooftop back inside. Though we move in silence, I can’t help noticing how calm the mood is between us. The moment feels natural in the strangest way, like we’re a real couple enjoying an evening under the stars. I glance up at Roman to find him closely at my side, his presence eclipsing mine.
Whereas I used to find him suffocating and intolerable, I’m feeling different tonight. I’m riddled with even more guilt realizing how he’s done nothing but treat me well and I’ve gone behind his back.
…don’t do it, Kat. Just forget about it. Move on.
I nibble on my bottom lip listening to the two halves of myself war with each other.
But shouldn’t I be honest? It’ll help get rid of this guilt.
The other half offers the most obvious fact of all.
You’re a criminal. Criminals don’t do guilt.
“You’re distracted,” Roman says suddenly. We’ve entered his bedroom and he’s closed the door. The snick of it closing makes me jump as I come back down to earth.
“Hmmm? What?”
“Distracted. You. I know my kitty cat. Something is on your mind. If it’s about what I said concerning the schism?—”
“It’s not about that,” I blurt out, fidgeting. “It’s, um, it’s… something else.”
DON’T! DON’T TELL HIM!
Roman raises a thick brow and regards me in silence, only a few inches separating us. “What is it? Tell me.”
“I… I… you have to promise not to get mad.”
“Katerina…”
“Okay, okay… no need to use my government name.” I sigh, braving a look up at him as if I expect I’ll turn to stone if I make direct eye contact. “While you were… um, while you went inside, I… I looked at your phone. As in hacked into your phone. As in glanced at your text messages. B-but that’s all! I put it right down after that. And I didn’t see anything incriminating—it was all in Russian and I don’t know a word of Russian. But I’m sorry anyway. I never should’ve touched it. Please don’t be mad. I wanted to tell you myself, because even just a few minutes in, I can’t take the guilt!”
My long ramble comes to an end with my shoulders slumping as if I’ve lost the air in my lungs.
Roman has offered no reaction to anything I’ve said. He’s merely remained stoic and unreadable, his thick arms folded over his broad chest.
When several more seconds go by and I’m left to agonize in silence, I beg for a reaction.
“I’m serious. I’m sorry,” I croak. “I’ll never look at your phone again. It wasn’t my place and I betrayed your trust and I know how important trust is in the bratva?—”
“I believe you, kitty cat.”
“You… you do?”
“Da,” he answers. “You are dripping with guilt. You look like a kitten who has been kicked.”
“I’m… I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.”
“The truth is, devochka, I already knew. I knew you had hacked into my phone.”
My heart practically explodes in my chest. I clap a hand to my mouth, eyes rounding. “You knew?!”
“What have I told you about your time with me? Nothing truly goes unseen. There are eyes and ears everywhere . Did you think the rooftop was not being monitored while I was gone?” he asks.
I’m not sure why I didn’t consider that possibility, other than the obvious fact that I wasn’t thinking at all. I was caught up in trying to get one over on Roman for once.
“Oh…” I swallow down my shock. “Err… well, um… I’m still sorry.”
“Yes, I believe you,” he repeats. “You are sorry.”
…why does it sound like there’s more to come?
“But?” I offer feebly.
“But, devochka,” he continues, “being sorry does not undo what you did. You went against what you’ve been told. You misbehaved and you know what happens when you misbehave.”
“N-no, actually, I… I don’t.”
He unfolds his arms, a hint of a smirk on his chiseled face. His blue eyes gleam more than ever, truly like sapphires caught in the light. Slowly, he begins circling me. “Well, kitty cat, you are about to find out. I’ve given you warning. I’ve told you to behave. Now I must teach you a lesson.”
I try to watch him as he circles me. My body turns along with his, trying to keep him within my line of sight. It feels like I’m trapped on some carnival ride I had no business getting on. Any second I’ll spew sick everywhere.
“What lesson? What do I have to?—”
I’m cut off by Roman coming in front of me and collaring his massive hand around my throat. He yanks me toward him and smashes his lips to mine in a hard, borderline feral kiss.
It’s a kiss that immediately makes me dizzy. It makes me feel like I’m falling down a deep, dark hole I never intended to.
Raw hunger comes on so strongly, I’m left breathless from the first second our lips touch.
Roman had proven he’s a good kisser earlier when we showered together; his lips were surprisingly soft and supple and he’d kissed like a man trying to be civilized.
In this moment, as he claims my mouth and squeezes at the base of my throat, civility has left the building.
He claims my mouth, parting my lips and kissing me deep. I have no choice but to let him as a shiver whispers through me and he sucks on my tongue. His other hand reaches around and finds my ass to grope a handful.
I’m pressed up against this hard, brick wall of man without the least bit of control. He’s a savage taking what he wants as his breathing deepens and his need swirls around us.
My own need sparks to life.
A tiny little heartbeat that throbs from between my thighs.
Roman finally draws back, though his hand remains at the base of my throat. He pierces me with a fierce look that tells me any softness has left. Any gentleness he’s treated me with has gone.
“It’s time you learn the hard way, kitty. Take off your clothes.”
My skin runs ice cold. “What…? But Roman?—”
“Now, or I will rip them off. This is punishment. Not negotiation.”
I’m speechless, gaping up at him with rounded eyes. My fingers fumble reaching for the loose-fitted sweater I’m wearing and then the pair of leggings molded to my thighs. Each move slow, each second I’m in wait for him to stop me and say just kidding .
But Roman was serious when he said this was no negotiation.
This is about punishment.
I strip my clothes off ’til I’m in nothing but my panties. My arm bands across my chest to cover my breasts, but he quickly scolds me for hiding.
“No covering yourself, kitty cat. I want to see all of you. Arms down at your sides.”
My ribcage aches as I shudder out a shallow breath. I’m standing in front of him, almost completely nude, forced to endure his wandering gaze.
While it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before—we did shower together earlier—it still feels alarming.
His gaze rakes over various parts of my body, lingering as if in study. Every second that ticks by feels unbearable. My cheeks burn from the humiliation of it all while the tiny heartbeat between my thighs betrays me.
It beats on… and on… and on…
Roman’s blue eyes have darkened with unmistakable lust. His jaw’s clenched as he stands before me, the size of a mountain. He licks his lips when he reaches my panties, and I almost let out a whine when he gives a nod.
“Those too, kitty cat. Take them off.”
I can no longer meet his gaze as I do what I’m told. My fingers hook under the waistband of my panties and I slide them down my hips and thighs ’til they’re nothing more than clingy fabric pooled at my ankles.
Nude.
Completely naked in front of Roman.
He pauses a moment and then says, “Ya nikogda ne ustanu smotret’ na tebya.”? *
He steps around me, disappearing into his huge closet. I remain where I am, fully aware that the last thing I want to do at a moment like this is incur any more of Roman’s wrath.
Seconds later, he returns clutching a small rectangular box. My stomach sinks with dread as I wait for him to show me what’s inside.
Of course.
I shouldn’t even be surprised.
“I told you, kitty cat,” he says. “You would wear this for me. When I want you to wear it. Now is one of those times.”
My eyes squeeze shut, my body stiff and heart racing. He steps forward to snap the diamond collar around my throat.
“Posmotri na menya? * ,” he commands. Then he grips my chin to jerk my face up. “Look at me.”
Heat licks away at me from the inside out, flushing onto my brown skin. I do as I’m told, opening my eyes despite how embarrassed I feel. Roman’s waiting for me, his blue gaze burning with an intensity that’s white-hot.
Heat that only magnifies my own.
“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he says huskily. “What have I told you? I don’t hurt my pets. Punishment is punishment… but you are safe with me.”
I’m not sure what to make of his words, except that my erratic breathing slows. The beat between my thighs pounds harder.
Somehow, I have come to believe him.
This is punishment… but Roman won’t mistreat me.
He won’t do anything to truly hurt me.
Besides, there’s something inexplicably erotic about the situation. Me standing naked and submissive in a collar before a powerful alpha like Roman.
It’s not what I would’ve thought would turn me on, yet my pussy’s aching for more. I’m locked in as he thumbs my bottom lip and then presses a kiss to my mouth.
“Stay still, devochka. There will be some unpleasantness. This is punishment.”
I have no more than five seconds to even question what he means before I find out. Roman produces a pair of nipple clamps made of platinum gold like so many other things in his penthouse. The clamps themselves have teeth that are no joke, connected by a delicate chain in between.
“These will look beautiful on you and these dark nipples,” he says, and my cheeks burn some more. “They get so puffy, did you know that? I enjoy staring at them.”
I’m not sure what to expect as Roman moves to put them on.
My body stills in anticipation, hands balled up at my sides, nails digging into my palms.
“Oh!” I squeak when the first one is attached to my nipple.
A sharp, biting pain radiates through my breast. I tug my bottom lip between my teeth, watching as the second one is clipped on.
More biting pain shoots through me. Sudden and sharp, the teeth bearing down.
“Do you like?” Roman asks, taking my mouth in another kiss. He fills his large palms with my clamped breasts, kneading them in a gentle massage.
When I don’t answer, he gives the left one a twist. More sharp pain erupts from my nipple and makes me gasp aloud.
“Yes… or no?” he prompts.
“Y-yes,” I stammer. “Yes, I like them.”
“Are you lying to me, kitty cat?”
I shake my head side to side.
He kisses me, his hunger so intense it’s almost too much. Between the bite of the nipple clamps and his mouth plundering mine, I’m not sure what to do.
“You are wet for me,” he says suddenly. His hand cups my hot, throbbing pussy. “You do like this. But tonight is not about your gorgeous pussy being pleased. You haven’t been punished. Down on your knees, kitty cat.”
I blink in another wave of shock and then scramble to do what I’m told. I drop to my knees while Roman steps toward the armchair by the window.
He undoes his pants so casually, like he always does, without an ounce of modesty to be found. His pants and boxers drop to reveal his thick, veiny dick, already erect and dripping precum. He beckons me over with a crook of his finger.
I understand immediately.
Holding his lustful gaze, I crawl toward him. He’s sat down like a king on his throne, his erection proud and tall… and delicious looking.
I can’t help licking my lips when I rise up on my knees in front of him and realize I’m finally going to get a taste.
A grin slashes across his chiseled face. “You know what to do, kitty cat. I want my giant cock at the back of that slender fucking throat.”
Propping myself up on his thick thighs, I take in a deep breath and then go for it. Any embarrassment, any reservations or hesitations are checked at the door.
I’ve come this far—I’m naked in only his collar with nipple clamps adorning my breasts. I might as well give him the best damn blowjob I can give.
I hold Roman’s gaze as I come in close and wrap my fingers around his girthy shaft. My tongue pokes out to lick the precum off his head, moving methodically slow, like I’m licking a sweet lollipop.
Already I’m feeding off the reaction he gives.
His jaw clenches, his attention unblinkingly on me.
I go in for another swipe of my tongue, tracing the round, bulbous crown. My hand works him in a stroke that’s just as slow and steady. He’s silk steel in my grasp. Both hard and soft at the same time.
I let my tongue chase a protruding vein that wraps around his wrist-thick dick. The vein throbs against my tongue as I follow it down the length of him. Then I come back up and take him—or as much of him as I can—in my mouth.
He groans at once. A raw, deep sound that comes from his chest.
Saliva pools, slicking his length.
I don’t shy away from getting messy. From making his dick gleam as I coat him with saliva and then return to suck on his head.
“Yes, kitty cat! Suck my cock like a good little kitten,” he grunts. His hand cups the back of my head to keep me where I am.
My hand twists up and down his slick dick, starting at a gradual pace and then going faster. Every move I make is in reaction to him. Every stroke, twist, lick, suck is an intuitive reaction from how he’s affected.
His fingers go from guiding my head to twisted in my curls. He moans as my tongue flicks at his throbbing head and I taste the salt of him.
“Take all of me. Choke on my cock, kitty cat,” he growls, his hips bucking up. He fists my curls ’til pain prickles at my scalp.
I take as many inches as I can. My mouth seals over his dick, the suction intensifying the pressure he feels. He easily reaches the back of my throat, making me almost gag. I fight through the urge, breathing through my nose and trying to relax my throat as if about to literally swallow his dick.
Saliva drips. His balls pulsate. My nails claw at his thighs while the clamps bite at my nipples.
When he can take it no more, Roman grips my head by the curls and fucks my mouth. His dick slides back and forth, pushing at the back of my throat each time. He grunts as his hips buck and thrust, and I choke again and again.
Air comes in limited supply. My pussy aches to be filled. I open my throat and let it be abused, still trying to hold eye contact. However messy and teary-eyed I’ve become.
But Roman loves it.
He fucks my mouth and grips my curls, peering at me with a dark intensity that sends shivers down my spine.
“Fuck, kitty cat… this fucking mouth feels so good,” he moans, tapping at the back of my throat. He jerks a couple more times and then erupts.
His cum spills into my mouth. Down my throat.
I swallow what I can, sucking at his head while the rest of his body clenches up. Veins strain against his skin, his muscles flexing.
He comes so hard, he hangs his head back and releases breaths that are fast and ragged.
Roman letting go makes me let go.
My pussy convulses, so slick and wet that I don’t even need to touch myself to come. Tingles burst free from the little nerve endings in my pussy, traveling like an electric current through the rest of me. I shudder, striking a balance between the tingly pleasure of my orgasm and the sharp, biting pain from the nipple clamps.
When it’s all said and done, Roman and I are struggling to compose ourselves. We’re breathing heavy, gazes linked, lingering on the mess we’ve made.
I have tears down my cheeks and a tangle of curls. His dick still gleams with evidence of my saliva, with some droplets of his cum added.
“Fuck,” he rumbles, then reaches to thumb my bottom lip. “That was better than I imagined, kitty cat. You do so well with being punished.”
Too dazed to know what else to say, I simply part my lips and suck at his thumb. He bites down harder on his jaw.
“You like this kind of play. You like being my pet.”
…maybe. Maybe more than I thought I would.
It’s the only thought I have as Roman helps me up and guides me toward the bathroom for another shower.
* ? Ya nikogda ne ustanu smotret’ na tebya - I will never get tired of looking at you.
* ? Posmotri na menya - look at me