35. Katerina
CHAPTER 35
Katerina
I can barely get a word in before Roman’s kissing me with so much passion, I’m left reeling. I still have hair shavings on me as he backs me up against the bathroom sink and starts devouring me like only he can.
Passion bursts from every hot kiss. From each squeezing caress his strong hands give.
I close my eyes and sink into the sensations washing over me. Arousal comes so naturally whenever Roman’s touching me that within seconds I’m feeling the familiar ache in my pussy. I clutch at the back of his neck and he grips at my thighs and together we lift me off my feet.
He sets me down on the edge of the sink counter and attacks my throat with ravenous greed. His lips feel so good on such sensitive skin that I shudder against him.
It’s been over two weeks since we’ve enjoyed each other and it shows in how we’re so quickly losing control.
I’ve spread my legs to make room for him in between. He curls an arm under my thigh and drags me even closer to the edge. Even more toward him as he bends forward and licks and sucks at my throat.
He’s feral with need. So turned on by me he can’t wait another second.
When making the decision to shave my head, I had worried that Roman would hate how it looked. He’d always been so mesmerized by my lavender curls that I worried some of his attraction would fall off.
Most men’s ideal woman doesn’t have a buzzcut.
Truthfully, I’ve never had my hair this short either. It’s going to take time for me to adjust from a full head of gorgeous, coily, kinky curls to nothing at all. There’s always wigs, but somehow that feels like it would be worse after what’s happened.
After the people at the marketplace fucked up my hair, they plopped a synthetic wig on my head so they could still sell me to the pakhan.
I would be mimicking what they did to me by putting a wig on.
But Roman’s taken one look at me and he can’t keep his hands to himself.
Another shudder rolls through me as he tugs off my t-shirt and then I tug off his. We’re both shirtless as our hands fumble for other pieces of clothing. He drags my leggings off one leg at a time and then impatiently nudges my panties to the side to make room for his thick fingers.
I gasp at the sudden intrusion.
His fingers on my pussy.
His mouth’s kissed its way up my throat, across my jawline ’til he’s reached my ears.
“Such a slick pussy,” he growls, nipping at my ear. “Fuck, kitty cat. I missed touching you like this.”
Roman circles my clit with expertise, his touch light yet effective. My lips part for a moan, the rest of me caught up in the tingles that spread.
And then the present disappears for moments that have remained stuck in my head for days now…
“I want you to pleasure yourself. Don’t be shy.”
The words echo in my head while Roman rubs my clit and then kisses my jaw. “You’re so wet, kitty cat. This pussy is about to be wrapped around my cock.”
“Now,” the smooth voice says from the darkness of my blindfold.
I’ve gone stiff as a board.
My hand creeps between my thighs after seconds go by and I realize if I don’t do it, he will.
Or he’ll punish me.
Roman slides two thick fingers inside my pussy and returns to my mouth for more kisses. His lips that only seconds ago felt so addictive now leave me feeling numb.
“Mmm…” I fake moan, hoping it sounds real.
But the man who’s purchased me slams down his drink and gets up out of his chair. He comes closer, his shoes thudding on the wooden floorboards.
“You are pretending,” he says, standing over the bed. Then he grabs my wrist to pry my hand from between my thighs. He replaces my hand with his own. “There will be no pretending.”
I’m paralyzed in place as his fingers explore my folds.
His fingers press down on my clit and the tingly sensations build…
No.
No!
NO!
“I SAID NO!” I scream suddenly like a feral cat. I launch my hand at Roman, sharp nails slashing at his face.
He staggers half a step back in total shock.
We’ve gone from passionately kissing and fondling each other to me clawing at him. My nails have left three deep scratch marks on his cheek.
For a startled second, we both heave air into our lungs and gape at each other in echoing silence. I’m speechless from how I’ve lashed out. He’s speechless from being on the receiving end of it.
He slowly touches the cheek I’ve clawed, the expression on his face one I’ve never seen before. He’s truly thrown off by my reaction.
I force my gaze away and blink back the sudden onslaught of tears. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Roman. I just… I was just thinking…”
I can’t even finish my sentence in a way that makes sense.
It doesn’t even make sense in my head.
I mixed up the past with the present and attacked my boyfriend.
“Kitty cat,” Roman says after another excruciating moment of silence. “Were you thinking that I was… you thought I was him?”
“I’m not sure what I was thinking,” I confess, my skin hot from embarrassment. I curl my arms over my chest and stare at the tiled floor. “Everything got jumbled and I lost track of what was happening.”
He takes a step toward me and my body flinches.
Not because I’m afraid of him. Not because I even have control of myself right now.
But because it’s an involuntary reaction in a moment where I’m still fuzzy on past and present.
My eyes squeeze shut and I groan. “I’m so sorry. It’s not you… it’s just… I don’t think… I’m not ready…”
He understands what I mean. He steps toward me anyway and draws me into an embrace where he wraps his arms around me and drops a kiss onto my freshly shaven head.
“That’s okay,” he says. “My kitty cat needs more time. A beast like me can be a lot to handle.”
He’s trying to make me smile. Trying to lighten the moment.
As I look up into his face, I try to let myself play along. The corners of my lips try to spread into a smile, but then I spot the scratch marks I’ve given him and I can’t.
“Zver, I scratched the fuck out of you. I hurt you and not him. I didn’t do anything to him. I didn’t even try to defend myself. I just laid there and… and let him…”
“You were terrified. You had just been sold and were in a vulnerable position. Many people freeze in moments like that.”
He’s so understanding and gentle with me that it only intensifies the guilt. He helps me down from the sink counter and with my clothes. We eat a small dinner instead, the conversation between us more stilted than usual.
My mind’s on earlier while Roman seems determined to take it off what happened.
I wish I could just turn my brain off. I could stop focusing on all of it, but the only thing I can think about is how even my attempt to empower myself fell flat. I thought shaving my hair off would help; it would rid me of the damaged curls I was forced to have after captivity with the Midnight Society.
It worked… until other memories returned.
I’m back to square one. A powerless victim that’s once again been wronged after a lifetime of wrongs.
Roman pulls me close when we get into bed and turn off the lights. He kisses me goodnight and falls asleep within minutes.
But I’m awake for hours. I lay in the dark and try to figure out how to overcome this.
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” Rosita says from the other end of the phone. “I was so worried when I heard you went missing. Then that Russian guy came by looking for you.”
“That Russian guy is the reason I’m alive and well right now.”
“Kat, am I ever going to know what the hell’s going on? Is that your man?”
My face heats up at the blunt question. I glance over my shoulder at Roman, who’s preoccupied by the documents Oleg has just brought him. They’re talking fast in Russian that’s way too complex for a beginner like me to understand.
I’m making my weekly phone call to Rosita in hopes I’ll feel normal again if I talk to someone from my old life.
One thing is true—it’s good to hear Rosita’s voice.
“He is, isn’t he?” she gasps. “He’s your man! He’s huge! And fine.”
“Shhh.”
“Tell him I said thank you for providing security for my apartment. It’s kept those other Russians away.”
I cringe and rub a hand across my face. “Shit, Ros, sorry I’ve gotten you mixed up in this. I really didn’t mean to…”
“All that matters is we make it out of this alive. You and me.”
“Besties for life,” I finish for her, and we both laugh.
“But, seriously, what’s the plan? You can’t just have your Russian boy toy provide security forever. JC or the other Russian guys will return eventually…”
Rosita doesn’t even realize how what she’s said has planted an idea in my head. She carries on talking like she hasn’t just given me what I’ve been looking for—an opportunity to exercise some agency and take back some control.
Some way to feel like less of a victim.
“Ros,” I say softly, “you think JC will come back?”
“If he thinks the coast is clear… and it’s worth it. I told you he came by the apartment a few times looking for you. Why?”
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Something just came up.”
Rosita’s asking follow-up questions when I cut the phone call short. Oleg has finished briefing Roman about whatever is in the documents he’s given him. Roman’s so engrossed in them that he doesn’t notice me sidling up until I’m only a couple feet away.
His dark blue gaze flicks up to meet mine and his jaw sets as if sensing it can’t be good.
But all I can do is stare at the scratch marks on his face and think about how desperate I am to have some role to play in the takedown he’s plotting.
“I have an idea,” I say. “I think I know how we can finally get JC.”