38. Katerina
CHAPTER 38
Katerina
I can’t look at Roman for the duration of our drive back to his base of operations. We’re both covered in blood for different reasons. He’s bathed in JC’s blood from stabbing him dozens of times to death; I’m soaked in Rosita’s blood from sitting beside her as she was shot. One moment she was sobbing beside me. The next moment her eyes were dimming, her expression vacant.
She’d betrayed me in the final moments of her life. She lured me to her apartment knowing JC would be there and that he would use Lucero to force me into trading places.
It was a move I’d never expect out of her, the woman who had been my best friend through thick and thin.
But could I really blame her when her son’s life was on the line? She was a mother first. She had to protect her boy if JC was threatening him.
Still, I’m left reeling from how close I came to being back in his clutches. From the way our friendship so abruptly ended. The last words I ever spoke to her were angry, pained ones over the betrayal.
“I’m so sorry!” she’d cried. “But I… I had to. He had Luc.”
I refused to address her as she begged. I wouldn’t even look at her.
And now she’s gone.
We arrive at Roman’s base in more heavy silence. Only the thud of our boots as we cross the asphalt and head inside echo in the air.
The second we’re inside, I pivot down the corridor that leads to our private quarters. Roman rounds the corner like a shadow five times my size, closing in on me within a couple quick strides.
Furious energy rolls off him in thick, hot waves.
I can feel his temper cracking through his exterior mask. The clenched face he wears only touches the iceberg of how pissed off he is in this moment.
But I’m in no mood to tiptoe around his temper.
I’m caught up in my own mixed feelings about what just happened.
Grief and regret over Rosita’s unexpected demise and some resentment that Roman handled the situation the way he did.
We burst into our room aware of what’s about to go down—we’re about to have a fight. The door slams shut and I kick off my boots, refusing to spare him even a slight glance. He starts toward me, the six-foot-something behemoth he is, so bulging with muscle that he would make grown-ass men cower.
“Devochka.”
I ignore him, plopping down on the bed to strip off my wool socks next.
“Katerina,” he growls, his tone severe.
But I’m still ignoring him, rising up on my feet to pull off the sweatshirt I’m wearing.
He stomps over and grabs me by the elbow before I can. My eyes flick up to meet his, the expression I’m wearing empty but thinly veiled at the same time. Anyone who knows me would know that I’m not as indifferent as I’m pretending to be.
I’m… so full of emotion that I don’t know what to do.
Part of me wants to break things. Another part of me wants to break down in tears and sob over my lost friend.
And then another part of me wants to run off. Throw my hands up and quit everything.
Today was supposed to be a victory. I was supposed to finally empower myself.
Instead, all that happened was Rosita ended up dead and Roman’s angrier than ever.
His grip tightens on my elbow and he glares in my face. I wrench my arm to pull it away but it’s no use. He’s not letting go anytime soon.
“What?!” I snap impatiently, then I tug my arm back, again to no success. “Roman, let me go!”
“Not until we talk about what the fuck just happened.”
“I don’t want to talk about it! What’s there to say? Save your breath! I told you so! I told you it was too dangerous. Blah, blah, blah… I don’t give a fuck!”
“You will give a fuck,” he snarls, reaching for my other arm. He’s got me locked in his grip, forcing me to stare up into his enraged face. “You will give a fuck,” he repeats, “because what happened was real! It was not a fucking game.”
“You think I thought that was a game? I just lost my best friend!”
“Why is she gone now? Whose fault is that?”
“FUCK OFF!” I scream at the top of my lungs. I jerk in his hold, my pulse throbbing hard. “How could you say that to me? How could you? Let go of me right now! I SAID LET GO!”
The tighter he holds on, the harder I fight ’til we’re in an angry dance of Roman restraining me and me struggling and shoving against him. I use whatever I can. My knees. My nails. My mouth as I scream at him and hot, angry tears pour down my cheeks.
“Katerina—”
“Don’t touch me… I don’t want to be here. I want you to let me go. Just let me leave!”
“You’re going nowhere!”
“YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”
My words ring out like a shrill battle cry that almost shatters any glass in the room. I launch my hand at him, the same sharp nails that had scratched his cheek slashing down his neck. It’s as far as I can reach as I claw at him for freedom and he simply squeezes me tighter and then shoves me back.
We both go down. I land first, half-bouncing against the springs in the mattress. Roman on top, causing the entire bed to shake.
The struggle only intensifies, with my thrashing growing more desperate.
“LET… ME… GO…” I scream over and over again.
He grits his teeth and pins me down. He bows his head and growls in my face. “Not until you calm the fuck down and we talk about what happened!”
“UGH! LET GO!”
I jam my knee between his thighs and land a brutal hit on his crotch. He howls in pain, and for a split second the rage that flashes in his eyes stirs fresh fear inside me.
Fear I haven’t felt in a long time when around Roman.
Before I can even consider what will happen next, he grabs me by the throat and traps the rest of my body between his muscled thighs.
The submission maneuver forces me to go still.
For me to peer helplessly, yet stubbornly, up at him.
“Stop this tantrum right now,” he says through clenched teeth.
I want to come up with a sassy rebuttal. Some reply that tells him to go fuck himself or defiant words that show I’ll stand my ground.
But as I peer up at him and the emotional tide crashes inside me, something snaps. The axis I’ve been standing on tilts until I can’t bear it a second longer. It’s like I’m jumping out of my skin, seeking to feel something, anything other than what I do in this moment.
My head pitches forward. It raises up ’til I’m pressing a hard, desperate kiss against Roman’s mouth.
For once, I’m making the first move. For once, Roman’s caught off guard.
He freezes as I kiss him, my tongue tracing the curve of his lips.
I can’t say I blame him. I probably seem crazy as hell to go from clawing at him one second to seeking out his mouth in the next.
Yet it makes sense in my foggy head. It feels right as I revel in the warmth of him. The way his scruff scratches against my softer face the deeper I kiss him.
His shock fades for the same hunger he’s always had for me.
Uncontrolled and unfettered, it bursts free within seconds.
I’m no longer the one consuming him. He squeezes at the side of my throat and holds me down, planting a kiss on me that burns with passion. It runs so hot that it quickly scorches any other feeling I have in the moment.
All the grief, sorrow, and pain is razed to the ground. At least for now.
Roman’s mouth becomes the only thing I know.
A much needed escape at a time where I lost one of the only people I’ve ever cared about. He seems to sense it’s what I need as he kisses me deep and then our hands start tugging and ripping at fabric.
We kiss and roll over and tear at each other’s clothes. My jeans are wrenched away and so are his. The same happens to my bra as my breasts spring free and Roman gropes one in each hand.
Neither of us stop to think for long before I’m straddling him, sinking down on his dick. We groan at the instant sensations that crash over us. Sounds that are throaty and raw and that Roman silences with another deep kiss.
But the other sounds filling the room reveal how desperate we are to feel some kind of pleasure. The bed squeaks under the weight of me riding Roman’s dick and his large mass thrusting up to fill my pussy.
It only makes us go harder.
The undulations of my hips increase, dipping and gyrating.
Meeting the punch of his hips as he squeezes my thighs and impales me with his thick, throbbing member.
I sink nails into his skin and make him growl and snarl at me like an animal. I cry out like one too, sounding more feline than human.
Roman rolls me under him and then slams back into me and makes me see stars. It’s exactly what I need as the room floats around me and pleasure tingles from the inside.
When I do come, it’s not good enough—it’s the first of several as Roman grips my thighs and pins them as far back as they’ll go. He digs deep into me ’til he’s bottoming out and my pussy’s clenching down.
A second orgasm knocks the wind out of me. I’m panting for air, making begging noises. Keening noises.
Whimpers.
It’s too much. Too damn much.
But Roman crushes his lips to mine to shut me up. His hand squeezes at my breasts and his hips drive into me again and again. His thrusts come one after another. His strokes smooth but relentless.
He’s close, nearing his climax.
I wrap my arms and legs around him—or as much of me as I can considering his huge build—and I grind with him. My pussy muscles work his dick in a pull and release motion that has him grunting and groaning like a beast.
He finally comes, flooding me with cum that’s been saved for weeks.
Since the last time we were intimate.
His orgasm—the hot feel of his release and throbbing dick inside me—triggers another orgasm in me.
I shudder as a third, smaller orgasm racks through my body, and then I go limp.
I’m spent, so exhausted I can’t form a thought.
Roman seems to feel the same way as he crashes beside me, huffing air. He wraps a huge arm around my hips and draws me toward him, placing a sloppy kiss on my neck.
Though neither of us says a word, the moment itself speaks volumes. The mood in the air is one we both understand.
Somehow, even through our anger at each other, we’re closer.
We’re united together, no matter what.
I press my face into his chest and mumble, “Zver… I’m… I’m…”
“Shhh,” he hushes, sensing the apology that’s coming. “Don’t be, kitty cat. Mistakes were made. You lost your friend.”
“I can’t believe she’s gone.”
“We’ll avenge her. We’ll avenge you and me and all the fucking wrong things they’ve done. The clock’s run out, devochka. There’s no more waiting left to be done. It’s time.”
My heart aches hearing the finality of his words. I close my eyes and find myself wishing it weren’t possible.
That there wasn’t a chance we could lose everything.