Chapter Eighteen
A fter the brunch, we went directly to Seth’s, where Toby was already waiting. He barely gave me time to go to the bathroom before we were out the door again to head to the hospital for some holiday fun with the kid patients there.
When we walked to the entrance of the hospital, Toby’s parents were there with a younger boy in a power wheelchair. The little boy was cute. His hair was a couple shades darker than Toby’s, his eyes a light brown. He watched us through glasses as we approached.
“Cadence, right?” Toby’s mom asked.
“Yes, it’s nice to see you again. I hope you don’t mind that I’m tagging along today with your sons.”
“No.” She chuckled. “Of course not. I’m sure you guys will have fun. Oh, and this is our youngest, Austin.”
I smiled at the little guy, and a nice blush crushed his cheeks.
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” I said warmly.
“You too,” he replied, his voice low but steady.
“We need to get going,” Toby’s dad spoke up. “Are you sure you’re okay to take him for a couple of hours?”
“Of course.” Toby grinned big and playfully messed up his brother’s hair.
“Hey, don’t do that,” his little brother cried out, shaking his head in a failed attempt to get his brother to stop.
Their parents relaxed a little as they watched their two sons interact. There was an exhaustion to all three of them that made me feel powerless. And helped me realize why Toby felt the way they did. They were all at their wit’s end.
“Okay. We’ll be back, but if you need us sooner, we’ll come straight here.”
“Nope,” Toby said. “Go out, have fun, be safe. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Now who’s the kid and the adult here,” his mom said, laughing lightly. “All right. We’ll get going before your dad freaks out.”
“I started freaking out ten minutes ago. I don’t want to be late.”
“And you won’t be.”
“Right.” Toby interrupted them. “Well, get going. Austin is mine for the rest of the day. And we’re already at the hospital, so if anything happens, we’re in the best place for it.”
“Not that anything will happen,” I added when his parents’ eyes widened with a little panic.
Toby realized his mistake and jumped in, doing his best to reassure his parents. It took a while, but they eventually departed, leaving us there alone.
“All right,” Toby said, let’s get inside. He grabbed the handles on Austin’s chair and began pushing him toward the hospital.
“So what are we doing exactly?”
“You didn’t tell her?” Austin asked.
“I told her we’re volunteering here. I’m going to be Santa.”
Austin slowly turned his head so he could see me. “He didn’t tell you.”
“I guess not,” I said, playing along, now wondering what I’d gotten myself into and what Toby was planning. I should have known better. Toby was the troublemaker of the group.
Austin laughed and for a moment, the exhaustion that seemed to be wrapped around him loosened. I got a glimpse of the kid he was, the real him. His fingers rested limply on the arm rests, but he still held his head high, his smile strong. It reminded me of the kids I’d met during my own hospital stays—brave while facing things beyond their years.
Today was a good day for him, and I wanted to make sure it stayed like that. Good days were never guaranteed.
“Ready to spread holiday cheer?” Toby asked as we got to the elevator.
“Heck yes. Always.” He grinned big.
The nurses were expecting us and had even set aside a room for us to change. As soon as I saw what I’d be wearing, I understood Austin’s reaction when he realized Toby didn’t really tell me the details.
My costume was designed to go all out. Like more than I expected. When I came out in the elf costume—complete with pointy ears and striped stockings—Toby was already in the hallway, decked out as Santa, complete with a fake beard and a padded belly.
“Ho, ho, ho,” Toby said in a deep fake Santa voice.
I laughed and shook my head. “You look ridiculous.”
“And you look like a delicious candy cane,” Toby shot back, winking at me.
“Are you two going to flirt?” Austin asked as he rolled out of the large handicap-accessible bathroom, a male nurse following behind.
“Wait, are you a reindeer on a Santa sleigh?” I asked.
“What else would I be?”
I giggled, admiring the well decorated chair. Crafted cardboard panels, painted a deep red, were attached to the sides, transforming it into Santa’s sleigh. He, meanwhile, wore a pair of reindeer antlers and had been dressed in a one-piece brown reindeer bodysuit—the kind kids wear to pajama parties, soft and fuzzy.
I didn’t even have a chance to feel embarrassed because Toby whipped out his phone and began taking a bunch of photos. A nurse even grabbed the phone and took some group photos.
“Okay, enough with the photoshoot,” Toby said and tucked the phone away in his pocket. “Time to wow some kids with our adorableness.”
“Let’s go,” Austin said. “They’ve been waiting forever.”
Toby chuckled and wheeled his brother toward the pediatric wing. It actually looked almost like he was riding a sleigh being pulled by a reindeer. I slipped out my own phone and quickly snapped a photo before they noticed.
As soon as we entered the shared space, Toby released a massive ho, ho, ho to grab all the children’s attention. When they realized what was going on, their eyes lit up. Toby played the role of Santa to perfection. A nurse gave me a heavy red bag. I lugged it over to Toby and he playfully handed out presents to everyone. He talked with each child as though he had all the time in the world. I followed behind, passing out candy canes and the few random holiday jokes I knew. It at least got me shy smiles and giggles.
“Toby!” one of the kids exclaimed, recognizing Austin. “You brought your brother.”
Austin’s smile widened when he spotted the kid who was about the same age as him. “Of course I came. Couldn’t let you all have fun without me.”
Everyone got pulled into the fun, and I stepped back as they gathered closer to Santa and his reindeer.
That was when a girl caught my attention. She was a couple years younger than me, her hair thin, her body frail. She held on to a guitar, absentmindedly tracing but not playing the strings as she stared out the window.
I walked over and crouched down to her level, keeping my distance. “Do you play?” I asked gently.
She startled and it took her a moment to focus on me as she broke away from whatever deep thoughts had occupied her mind.
“A little,” she said shyly. “But my hands hurt sometimes, so I don’t do it much anymore.”
Toby overheard as he came over with all the other kids in tow.
“Would you like me to play you something?” Toby asked kindly, gesturing to the guitar.
She handed it over. “Be careful, it’s from my older brother.”
“All guitars should be treated like they’re precious glass. With my life on the line, I will protect your guitar.”
The girl’s cheeks grew really red and she looked down. “Okay.”
Toby sat down and really did handle the guitar with great care. He strummed a few strings. “You’ve been taking good care of it,” he remarked, drawing a shy smile out of her.
Toby strummed some more and the kids all settled around. He wasn’t playing any particular song, just a simple melody. But once the last kid got settled and Austin moved to a comfortable spot, the melody changed. It became a soft, heartfelt version of “Silent Night.”
The room grew still as the music filled the space, warmth spreading through the air that had nothing to do with the holiday decorations. I glanced at Austin, who was watching his brother with love, but also a hint of sadness.
Toby played as if the guitar was an extension of himself, clearly completely comfortable with the instrument as his fingers moved with practiced ease.
When he finished, Austin spoke up, forgetting that he was in a room full of others, his gaze stuck on his older brother. “I haven’t heard you play in a long time.”
Toby’s smile slipped a little as he met his brother’s gaze. “I didn’t realize that. I’ll play whenever you want me to. Heck, even when you don’t want me to. Don’t regret it.”
That got Austin to laugh. “I think I changed my mind. You don’t need to play for me ever again.”
Toby shook his head. “Nope. Too late. You asked, and you shall receive. Who am I to deny you my musical skills.”
Austin sighed, knowing it was pointless to win against his brother.
Toby strung a few more notes and everyone settled back down. He slipped into a more upbeat familiar tune and then everyone began singing the Christmas song. Time passed and before we all knew it, Toby practically did a whole Christmas concert.
Once it was over, everyone was clapping and excited.
Toby turned back to the girl. “Thank you for letting me use your precious guitar.”
She hugged it to her. “Thank you for playing for us. Do you think you’d be able to teach me sometime?”
“Anytime you want,” Toby promised.
My chest tightened as I watched them. It wasn’t just the music or the way it lifted all the kids’ spirits. It was the connection it created between Toby and his brother, and the joy it had brought to the girl who wasn’t currently able to play because her fingers hurt too much.
My own memories stirred—of me sitting in a hospital bed, playing my guitar for the other kids in the ward. It had been one of the few ways I could forget my pain while helping to take away some of theirs too. Seeing Toby do the same now was like watching a reflection of those moments, and it affirmed something I hadn’t completely grasped. I knew it was powerful, but until now I never really fully computed what that meant. Music had the power to heal.
After that, we went to a few kids who were bed bound before wrapping up. A nurse helped Austin change back to his normal clothes. Before Toby could disappear into his room, I leaned into him and kissed his cheek.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“You’re really good with them, you know,” I said softly.
He gave me a tender smile. “I want to kiss you so hard right now, but I don’t think anyone will appreciate seeing Santa making out with his cute little elf.”
A giggle bubbled out of me and I shoved him toward his door. “Go change.”
We were both laughing as we went into our separate rooms. By the time I changed and came back outside, Toby was waiting with his brother, saying something that had Austin broadly smiling.
“The slowpoke is finally back out,” Toby teased.
I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t that slow.”
“I’m a slow changer and I still beat you,” Austin said.
“Whose side are you on?” I asked.
“My brother’s.” He was proud of his response.
“Of course.” I should have known better.
We headed back to the main floor, where his parents were already waiting for them. On our way down, I got a text from Janice.
“Oh, do you mind waiting a little longer before we head home,” I asked Toby as we watched them load Austin up the ramp and into the van.
“What’s going on?”
“Janice is here. She’s in the cafeteria right now, but she’s about to go meet someone. I want to give her a ride back.”
“Sure, I’m hungry anyway.” Toby wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led the way to the cafeteria. “Thank you, by the way.”
“For what?”
“Coming. Hanging out with Austin and me. He really likes you.”
“He seems like a sweet kid.”
“Yeah.” Toby’s smile dimmed a little. “He always has been. I’m serious though, you coming meant a lot for me. And for him. Austin really needed this.”
“Only Austin?” I asked.
“Not gonna lie. I did too. You helped me more than you think.”
I reached up and grabbed the arm draped over my shoulder. “Everyone is doing the best they can, including you. Austin fricken adores you. Don’t forget that.”
Toby kissed my temple. “Thanks,” he whispered as we went inside the cafeteria.
After we grabbed parfaits, we spotted Janice. She was at a table by the window, stirring a cup of tea with a distant look on her face. Her shoulders were hunched slightly, a telltale sign of her nerves.
She jumped, startled at our appearance. “Oh shit. You can’t sneak up on a girl like that.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Sorry—are you okay? What are you doing here?” I settled across from her, watching her closely. Toby didn’t hesitate to dig into his snack, giving us as much privacy as one could when sitting together at the small table where his knee kept bumping with mine.
“Well, you know I technically lived with some shitty relatives when I was here. But there was an older woman who helped me. A lot. A safe place to sleep when she was able. Food. She was like, I don’t know, a second mother to me? Anyway, she’s here and sick.”
“Have you seen her yet?” I asked.
“I’m scared. I haven’t seen her or contacted her since I left and it wasn’t long after I left that they diagnosed her. I’m sure I’m the last person she wants to deal with right now when she’s so sick.” She blew out a breath. “I’ve been thinking in circles and haven’t been able to move. That’s why I texted you.”
I reached across the table, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Do you want some company?”
Her eyes lit up with relief. “Would you mind? I just...I don’t want to go alone.”
“Of course,” I said, my tone firm.
Toby spoke up. “I’ll stay with the kids. Maybe play some more songs while I wait for you.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Of course.” He leaned over and gave me a peck on the lips before jumping to his feet.
“Thank you for doing this with me,” Janice said.
I held out my hand. “Come on. The longer we wait, the closer we get to visiting hours ending.”