Chapter Twenty-Three
B ebe was practically lying on my feet as I stood outside Seth’s house with Seth. The cold had settled in fully, our breaths curling into the air as soft wisps of smoke. Janice was already inside, not comfortable staying at my place by herself.
Seth’s fingers were tight around his phone, the light from the screen casting a soft glow against his face. His frown deepened as he scrolled through whatever he was looking at.
“How long was the delay?” I asked, shifting my weight from foot to foot, keeping myself warm.
“Two hours. They’re already on their way. Might even be here by the time you come back.”
“Then why are you glowering at your phone?”
“I’m just keeping an eye on their flight.”
I crossed my arms, smirking as I tilted my head. “Didn’t you mention once that your mom worries about you when you’re traveling. I can see that you got that from her.”
“What are you talking about?” He finally tore his eyes away from the screen of his phone to look at me.
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re fretting. Hovering. Worrying. I’m almost afraid you’re about to camp out here all night in case their plane needs a personal escort.”
His mouth opened in protest, then closed as his eyes narrowed slightly. “I wouldn’t do that. My mom would kill me if she showed up and I was an icicle.”
“Sure.” I grinned. “Well, tell them I said hi when they get here.”
“They’ll be excited to meet you tomorrow,” Seth said, the darkness around us somehow making it feel more intimate.
I smiled as silence settled, not awkward, just lingering. The kind where words weren’t needed. His eyes dropped to my lips and I felt the chill of the air a little less. The tension hung there for a heartbeat before he leaned in, capturing my lips with his. It was gentle but sure. Confident.
I kissed him back, my hands resting on his coat, using him as an anchor as I leaned into him. His warmth, the taste of peppermint from the candy cane he had been sucking on, the way he angled his head just right to allow us to deepen the kiss—it was perfect. I wanted more. Moaning softly, I pressed into him, craving more of the connection, more of his playfulness as he nipped at my bottom lip.
Only the sounds of tires crunching on the little bit of snow on the ground broke our contact. We pulled back at the same time, breaths mingling in the frosty air. Paxon’s car rolled to a stop in the driveway, headlights dimming, but his car remained there idling as he waited for me.
“Well, time for me to go,” I whispered, trying to hide the fact that he made me feel a bit weak at the knees if that were possible.
“Have fun tonight.” Seth leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I better warm up before my mom catches me becoming an icicle when she gets here.”
I smiled after him as he went inside and then headed to the car. Paxon got out, bundled in his coat as he went around and opened the door.
“Hi,” I said, nervousness about our date finally hitting me.
“Hey.” He gave me a smile but something about it was off.
As I settled in the super warm car, he got back in.
I let out a quiet breath as I snuck a glance at Paxon while he put his seatbelt on. There was a heaviness in the car that I couldn’t quite place. He wore one of the black coats with buttons instead of a zipper. Made him look stylish, even in his dark blue jeans and black beanie. He looked great except he seemed tense, his jaw tight as he backed out of the driveway.
“You okay?” I asked gently.
“Yeah.” His answer was too fast and clipped. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
I shifted in my seat to better face him. “You sure? You seem kind of quiet. Tense.”
He let out a slow breath, his shoulders lowering slightly as he kept clenching and unclenching the steering wheel. “Just a long day. The holiday is driving my family crazy.”
“Has Calvin taken to using the candy canes as reindeer antlers?”
“What?” Paxon released a chuckle. “Where did that come from?”
“An idea he told me about,” I said. “I’m not sure how he plans to pull it off, but I think he might be determined.”
“We definitely have enough extra candy canes that will just get tossed,” Paxon mumbled.
Silence fell between the two of us again. I wasn’t sure what to do with it. It wasn’t as comfortable as I was used to. It was like there was something hovering there. I glanced out the window at the twinkling Christmas lights lining the streets. With all the tension, the holiday cheer felt a little more distant than usual.
“So what exactly are we doing on Christmas Eve? A lot of places close early for tomorrow.”
“Ice skating.”
“Ha ha. Seriously, what are we doing?”
“I have skates for both of us and there’s an outdoor pond that’s frozen over and we’re going to go skating.”
“I’m going to break my ankles.”
He chuckled, finally glancing at me. “You won’t, I won’t let you.”
“Uh huh, until I do.”
“I’ll catch you. That’s what I’m here for.”
His words hung in the air longer than they probably should have, and I felt my pulse skip a beat. But the tension I felt when I got in the car was still lingering, not as bad, but it was still persistent.
Eventually, we reached the pond. It was nestled behind a line of pine trees dusted with snow. Light poles lit the area for us and the skating area itself had massive spotlights lighting up the shimmering ice. Twinkling lights also decorated the area, making it feel more intimate than expected. A few other couples and families were already on the ice, laughing and having fun. Or falling.
I was going to be joining some of them with my ass on the ice.
Paxon grabbed ice skates from the trunk of his car and handed me my pair. He also grabbed a bag.
“You really did plan for this.”
His smile was off, not quite reaching his eyes like I expected. “I’m full of surprises. I was worried it wouldn’t freeze over in time, but they opened it up last week. I wanted to bring you here since.”
We sat on a wooden bench near the ice and swapped our boots for the skates. The boots went under the bench.
“Here.” He opened the bag and pulled out extra scarves, hats, and gloves. “This is a gift.” He glanced away a little shyly. “I don’t want you getting cold.”
I smiled appreciatively at him as I grabbed the extra winter pieces. They were soft and warm, made out of good materials. He helped me put mine on before he put on his. By the time we were finished bundled, I felt warmer, and while nervous about the whole ice-skating thing, also excited.
As soon as I stood, I was a wobbling mess and instinctively grabbed Paxon’s arm to steady myself. “See? Told you. I’m a disaster waiting to happen.”
Paxon steadied me, his grip firm, arm solid against my wobbling self. “You’re fine. Trust me. I have no intention of letting you fall.”
“Sure.”
I was reluctant, but let him carefully lead me onto the ice, and for the first few minutes, I clung to his arm like it was my life line against instant death. My steps were awkward and shaky. When was the last time I even went ice skating. I couldn’t remember. Most likely before Dad left.
Paxon was patient, guiding me, his hand never leaving me. He was always in reach and ready for me. Slowly, I found my balance, laughing as I wobbled, but managed to stay upright.
“See, you’re getting it.” His smile finally reached his eyes, feeling more like the Paxon I was used to. The tightness in my chest unraveled, just a little.
We skated for a while, the cold nipping at our cheeks, but the mood got lighter and lighter with each loop around the pond. When I finally felt more confident, I released his arm and spun carefully in a small circle all on my own, only to nearly topple over.
Thankfully, Paxon glided up behind me and caught me, his arm a steel band around my waist.
“Show off,” I teased a little breathlessly, my pulse having spiked from the near fall.
“Maybe,” he replied in a teasing voice.
After a while, he led me off the ice and to a little wooden booth, where we were able to get steaming hot cocoa. The steam from the opened lid distracted me as we headed back to the bench that held our stuff.
“Thanks for this,” I murmured once we sat down. “It’s been an intense week, but tonight’s been perfect.”
Paxon nodded, though his expression turned pensive again, gaze lingering on the pond.
“Okay,” I said. “What are you thinking?”
“Huh?” He blinked and looked at me.
“Why has there been...” I pointed between us. “Why has there been this weird uncomfortable tension between us? What’s going on?”
He tried to laugh it off but it fell flat and he knew it. That was why he grimaced and leaned forward on the bench so his elbows rested on his thighs. He grabbed his beanie and ran his hand through his hair. “There’s just a lot going on, that’s all. Holidays are always a lot.”
“Paxon,” I warned, starting to feel frustrated now. There was something else. There was definitely something else and it was making me feel off not knowing what it was.
“I saw you two.”
“Us two?”
“You and Seth. Kissing. When I pulled into the driveway.”
“Oh.”
His jaw tightened and he sat straight again. “This is why I didn’t say anything. It’s just me figuring out where I stand with everything. I hadn’t seen it yet, you being intimate with others like that. It threw me off and I need to think about that.”
Dread filled me. “You’re rethinking us?”
He blew out a breath. “I wanted to have fun tonight, Cadence. Not think about that stuff. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I do know I like you a lot. And the others are extremely important to me. We’ve helped each other through a lot growing up and I have no intention of throwing that away.”
I nodded, not sure what to say that wouldn’t make things more complicated. I was also afraid I’d say the wrong things and this relationship teetering between us would finally tip in a direction I didn’t want.
This was a lot, me dating the five of them. I knew that. And we were just beginning. Well, not much was happening. We went out on dates and kissed, but it felt like we were only just starting.
But with Paxon, with what he told me, it was starting to feel like it was going to end before we got anywhere or figured anything out. That scared me.
Paxon reached over and gently took my hand, lacing our fingers together. His quiet way to let me know things were still fine between us. That he was still there. I squeezed his hand hard, needing to hold on to that because it was beginning to feel like I’d go around a corner and find that I was all alone again.