7. Now
SEVEN
now
I war with myself through four meetings and eight phone calls.
Once I clear the decks and turn my attention to my creative projects, I think I’ll be able to focus. Normally, the time I spend sketching out new builds each afternoon is the highlight of my day. But I can’t seem to get that damn Google alert out of my mind.
I should have just deleted it. After all, the woman clearly wants nothing to do with me. Why bother reading whatever the internet has to say about her?
That’s a stupid notion, of course.
Did I actually think I had a prayer of ignoring Ella?
I’ve never been able to ignore her. Not from the minute I saw her.
At five minutes to five, I relent and click the email. The Google alert springs open. My mouth dries while I read the one item listed.
For Always, a novel by Ella J. Callahan.
It is an Amazon link to a Kindle book. Her book. Brand new, available to purchase for just $1.99. The low price unearths a long-forgotten feeling of fond exasperation—she never knew just her worth. And it always bothered and endeared me in equal measures.
No reviews—yet .
That doesn’t matter. I know it’s inspired because I know her. Still, I hesitate, my mouse hovering over the word “purchase.”
I have to buy it, right ? I mean, how can I not ? But also… how can I ?
The title alone almost kills me. My chest throbs so hard that for a second, I think there might actually be a knife twisting into it.
After ten minutes of deliberation, I decide that reality can’t possibly be worse than what I’m imagining. I click the button and watch the e-book materialize in my online library.
The cover looks simple enough. Yellow. Of course .
I click past it, forcing confidence.
It’s been three years, for God’s sake. I can be happy for her.
Then, two pages in, I see it.
The dedication.
For Gray, for always.