48. Then
FORTY-EIGHT
then
I finished pulling the third pie out of the oven minutes before I heard Gray’s key in the door.
Windswept and gorgeous, he appeared on the threshold in his peacoat, slacks, and my horrible green scarf. The moment our eyes met, he hit me with his Prince Charming grin, but I caught a glimpse of his face before that—all tension and anxious lines.
He wore such expressions far too often. I caught him frowning all the time. While he showered, when he sat at the counter for his morning coffee, pretending to watch the TV. Almost as much a s I caught him doodling his design concepts into notebook margins or on paper towels.
His sketches were gone, but I knew he still thought about them. Most of the drawings he did now were evolutions of previous ideas. I recognized some from the pieces I had secreted away before he tossed the rest.
Hoping to make him laugh, I gestured to the island full of desserts. “Did someone order pie?”
His grin split into a chuckle as he shucked his outerwear and strode over to me. “I think we ordered one , not three,” he retorted, raising his slashing brows at the platters of baked goods. “Is that bread ?”
Oh, right . “Rosemary focaccia, Parker House rolls, and a sourdough loaf,” I replied, shrugging. “I didn’t know which would complement the meal best, so I made them all.”
Gray dropped his forehead to mine, eyeing me with censorious amusement. “You know you’re not a caterer, right? You’re a guest . The most important one, as far as I’m concerned.”
“I’m excited ,” I told him. “And I didn’t have any work or school today, so I was bored. I wanted to make stuff. Besides, whatever we don’t eat, your mom can save. And then they’ll have it for breakfast or whatever.”
I didn’t want to mention that I thought storing away baked goods in the freezer might help his mother out down the line, once his father started treatment and their schedules changed. So far, he had avoided discussing his dad’s cancer treatment as much as possible.
Gray’s gaze softened as it traced my face. “That was thoughtful. Thank you.”
He skimmed his touch down my body, sending tingles to my core. I wanted to slide my hands under his sweater and ask him to take me to bed. But I knew he probably wanted time to decompress first….
And maybe he wouldn’t feel up to it all, considering I wasn’t exactly my most alluring self at the moment .
He didn’t own an apron, so I wound up baking in one of his undershirts. And I had flour all over my leggings… possibly some caramel splattered on my cheek.
Sighing, I settled for kissing his neck.
His stubble tickled my nose when he chuckled again. “Ellie? Was there something you wanted?”
Drat . He knew me too well. “Not until you’re… settled,” I demurred. “Do you want a drink or something? I can wait.”
An odd silence stretched taut between us.
“You know what?” he said. “I can’t.”
Moving all at once, he snatched me straight up. I gasped as he hauled me into his arms and set off for our bed. His lips crushed mine, silencing both of us with the lush slide of his tongue.
Depositing me on the mattress, he toed off his shoes and impatiently tugged at his trousers, his expression full of fervor. I grasped his mood and quickly started to undo his shirt. Gray stripped it off, then peeled his undershirt from my torso with one fluid pull.
He stood over me, his erection bulging against his boxer briefs, and flicked a pointed look at my leggings, silently asking if he could take them off for me. Even after two months, he still remembered my unexplained boundaries. He still cared. The thought put a lump in my throat as I lifted my hips and nodded at him.
He held my gaze the entire time he pulled the bottoms off, along with my panties. His hand reached up to brush over my face as he dropped to his knees between my bare legs.
“Ellie,” he murmured, his face a mask of ardor. “I?—”
I love you .
He had never said the words. I hadn’t, either. But, in certain moments, I felt them. They were as real as his fingertips on my face.
Gray caressed the length of my throat, over to my collarbone, and skirted down along the outside of my breast, furling my nipples. He watched my b ody respond to him with hot, stormy eyes, gliding his other hand up my thigh.
Our gazes clashed when he slipped his thumb into my folds. I sucked in another short breath when he grazed over my clit, finding me wet. His eyes dropped to my pussy.
“You’re so slick and hot.” Lust tightened his features, and he groaned. “I just want to?—”
He couldn’t get any of his thoughts out. It wasn’t like him. But before I contemplated it too much, he made a frustrated sound and bent to seal his lips over me.
His tongue lashed at my swollen bud while his hands held my breasts, pulling at my nipples. I cried out. He growled, licking lower, teasing my slit.
“Ah,” I keened. “Gray, you’re so good at that.”
Grayson didn’t so much as smile. He doubled down, licking back up to my clit, tracing along the edges of it. When I moaned, he hummed his approval and stayed put, focused on the exact right spot, working it until I couldn’t take anymore.
My head fell back while I ground up into his mouth, coming loudly. Deliciously impatient, Gray tore away from me the second the last aftershock rebounded through my core.
Instead of tossing me onto the middle of the bed, he shoved his boxers off and sat beside me before reaching over and flipping me on top of him.
“Like this,” he rasped, positioning us. His green eyes glowed up at me, full of intensity I didn’t understand. “Like the first time.”
I remembered the exact position, the very moment he first pushed inside me—the night he had given my body back to me in a way I didn’t believe anyone ever would.
Truly, I’d loved him ever since.
Gray remembered, too. He moved my legs to straddle his lap and ran his fingers down my arms before guiding them to rest on his shoulders. I sifted my hands through his hair while I hovered over him, absorbing his bright, shifting gaze, and the tense set of his jaw.
He needed this. He needed… me.
My soul fit itself around that small, simple truth, obliterating all fear.
“Gray,” I whispered, brushing my fingers over his cheek. “You know I love you, right?”
A sting slashed through his features. “God, Ella.” He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, bending my face to his and locking our eyes. “Yes,” he murmured, hushed, “I know that.”
Our lips brushed at the same moment the tip of his cock found my opening. He stifled a grunt and swallowed hard, still holding our foreheads together.
“You know that I—” he started, “That I—Ella, you?—”
His brow creased as he struggled to get the words out. I smoothed the lines with my fingertips, hoping to erase the evidence of his stress. He huffed a sigh, exasperated with himself. Compassion pierced my heart.
“It’s okay,” I said softly, “Just… take me now. Please.”
With a pained growl, Gray lunged, pulling me down onto his erection while capturing my mouth with his. He was impossibly hard and burning hot, scorching my depths. Sharp, sweet pleasure trembled through me.
The solid girth satisfied the ache inside me, steadily thrusting bliss into my center. One hand went to my hip, setting our pace, as his other caressed my head.
“ Ella ,” he moaned, the deep sound reverberating inside my chest. “You feel so perfect. This is all I ever want.” His hold on me tightened as his eyes snapped open, snagging mine once more. “This, us. You .”
The pulse in my clit matched the beating of my heart, both so urgent that I felt like they would tear me apart. I sobbed, digging my nails into the firm flesh of his shoulders and grinding myself down onto him harder.
“God, baby, yes .” Gray nestled his face against my breast, drawing my nipple betwee n his lips. He tugged it lightly with his teeth. My head fell back into his hand while I thrust my chest closer to him, crying out for more.
“You’re such a good girl,” he growled, gripping my hip and yanking me forward. “Ride me like this,” he commanded, bossy as ever. “Look at me.”
His tumultuous eyes captivated mine as he adjusted the slide of his cock to hit the secret place he knew by heart. The ridge of his crown slipped over it again and again, tightening my core on every plunge.
Still holding my gaze with his, he licked his thumb and reached between our bodies, adding soft circles over the top of my clit. Incoherent pleas burst out of me while I grabbed the hair at his nape and tugged. As he roared in response, his thumb slipped lower, ghosting along the place his tongue had traced earlier.
My entire center clenched in climax, releasing with a shower of spasms. Grayson snarled. Pinpricks of light exploded across my vision as I rode him, pumping his cock into the trembling echoes of my orgasm until he shuddered.
His hands lost their finesse, clutching at me restlessly. His cock pulsed, releasing a molten flood.
Gray immediately wrapped me up against him, hugging me tightly. His lips grazed the side of my throat, and he said my name hoarsely. I heard the tremor in his breath before I felt his hands shake. Instead of pulling back, he nuzzled deeper into my unbound hair, clasping me closer still.
Hiding . From me? Or what I said?
“Gray?” I stroked the back of his head, the broad, sculpted planes of his back. “It’s okay… It’s fine if you don’t say it. Or if you don’t…”
A painful pang struck my heart. I choked back a chunk of humiliation. “If you don’t love me. That’s okay. We don’t have to feel the same things at the same time.”
He somehow found a way to pull me tighter against him. “Ellie, no . That’s not it. I—I’m sorry. ”
His entire frame vibrated. He made a low, disgusted sound, still concealing his face against the curve of my shoulder. “God. I’m a fucking wreck.”
My hands slowly smoothed the quivers arrowing down his spine. “Did something happen?” I asked.
Gray stayed silent for a long moment before defeat washed through him. His vise grip slackened. “What if I can’t do it, Ellie? What if I can’t handle running the whole company and other people lose everything because of me?”
He had so much on his shoulders. More than I could even fathom.
So I just held him closer, and loved him harder.