65. Now
SIXTY-FIVE
now
I will always be yours.
The words sink into my center. To the very heart of me. Slicing deep. Cutting open old wounds, inflicting new ones. But healing me, too, somehow. Filling dead places with searing light.
She looks so beautiful, tear-stained and fervent. Her sapphire eyes beg me to believe her. To believe in her.
And, God help me, I do.
A desperate sound sloughs out of my lungs. I rip her off the counter and turn back for the bedroom. “I need you,” I grit, unable to form any other coherent thought. “Please.”
She hugs her arms around my neck. “Like I said,” she whispers. “I’m yours.”
I lower her onto my mattress, not willing to part from her long enough to turn on a light. We strip each other’s clothes off with quick, graceless movements, both too eager to slow down.
Once we’re naked, she reaches, stretching both hands up toward me. “I love you, Grayson,” she murmurs in the twilight, cupping my jaw. “I’ll never stop.”
I feel my features crack. My lips pull into a pained grimace. “Ellie. God. Don’t say that.”
“It’s true,” she replies, her smile sad and soft. “I knew it then, and I know it now.”
“Then, why?—”
She halts me, brushing her fingertips over my mouth in a caress that makes my throbbing cock twitch. “I know this is an impossible thing for me to ask,” she rasps, her dark blue depths glowing urgently. “But trust me? Please. I can’t tell you why I left. But you have to believe me when I say that it wasn’t because I don’t love you, Gray.”
All too easily, I give in. Let myself have her, her love, her promises. Everything I lost, laid out for me to take back.
I take it, knowing it isn’t real. Knowing it’s dust, slipping through my fingers with every passing second.
It doesn’t matter.
Falling into her arms is like finally deciding to set a boulder down. The relief is instant. Heady. And the feel of her underneath me is so exquisite that I forget to hold myself up for a moment.
Instead of freezing in fear, though, Ella holds me. Her hands smooth down my spine while she nuzzles sweetly against my temple. More relief breaks over me, along with a rush of gratitude.
My throat knots, thickening my voice. “I don’t have to be on top.”
“I want you just like this,” she assures me, rearing back to lock gazes with me. “I want you every way. ”
Emotion floods my eyes for the first time in as long as I can remember. Lost, I drop my forehead to hers, surrendering to the riot inside me. She cries, too, the tears soaking into her golden hair.
Bracing on my forearms, I run my hands over the sides of her head, holding her still as I seal my mouth over hers. Without words, I tell her the things I never got to say. I make amends for last night, gently bringing her to climax twice before carefully pushing into her.
We move together, making love; so slow and sweet, I think it will kill me to stop.
I wake around dawn, wrapped tightly into Grayson’s side.
He continues his deep sleep, the chiseled planes of his chest barely rising and falling under my cheek, even when I shimmy up to go to the bathroom.
While I’m up, I realize I never answered Maggie. Even though I’m angry with her for what Gray told me, I need to at least tell her I’m okay. Grumbling internally, I put my borrowed hoodie and joggers back on to go in search of my phone.
When I find it on the island, there’s only one message waiting for me. And it isn’t from my roommate. Or any other number I have saved .
But, somehow, I know.
A dizzy wave of terror rushes over me as I swipe it open.
unknown
Stupid bitch. Are you going to make me come up there ?