68. Then
SIXTY-EIGHT
then
I spent most of Sunday vying for Ella’s attention. My competition—our three-hundred-square foot cottage-style kitchen and one powder-blue Kitchenaid mixer, in particular—won most of those stand-offs.
Though, after insisting on preparing cinnamon buns and coffee for the whole house, she did let me take her down to the beach. Turned out, she loved the water, even in the thirty-degree weather. I sat in the sand and watched her twirl along the shore, laughing in the weak winter sunshine.
She splashed and squealed about the cold but kept going back for more, rol ling her jeans up and wading up to her ankles until her feet took on a bluish cast. I wound up carrying her back up to the house, then warming both of us in front of the fireplace until lunchtime.
Once again, I lost her to the lure of the kitchen. She and Mom giggled and clucked while they assembled trays of sandwiches. I awkwardly watched while my father and Ted attempted not to antagonize one another.
By the middle of the afternoon, I gave up on trying to get Ellie to relax and gave in to her chaos. She was determined to make Christmas cookies—“For Santa,” she claimed—and I couldn’t resist the genuine joy the whole thing gave her.
Ted ducked out to do some last-minute errands, and my parents disappeared, leaving Ellie and me on our own when the cookies finished baking. We took a plate of them into the TV room on the second floor and watched both of our favorite holiday films— Home Alone for me and The Family Stone for her.
An entire movie about a family engagement ring and a Christmas proposal—I had to concentrate on the feel of her hand in mine to keep from breaking into a nervous sweat.
Mom managed to head Ellie off at the pass and ordered in from Serafina’s. During dinner, the ladies once again proved themselves the superior gender by keeping the conversation afloat, flitting from one easy topic to the next without ever touching on anything to do with the company or old grudges.
Everything was going perfectly to plan, until…
“Grayson.”
My mother’s whispered voice caught me as I passed the east wing. She waved her arms, beckoning me over to her shadowy stretch of hallway.
“Thank goodness I caught you,” she mumbled, eyes wide. “It’s about the proposal. While Ella and I were in the kitchen after dinner, I caught her eyeing this.”
Mom flashed the aquamarine ring on her right hand. “So, I let her try it on, of course—and it’s too small! ”
Fuck . We used my mother’s fingers to choose the right ring size for Ellie. If Mom’s ring didn’t fit…. “I need to get it resized right away,” I muttered, reaching for my phone. “Is there a jeweler in town?”
My mother quirked a sardonic brow. “This is the Hamptons, mi amor . Of course there is. I’ve been a customer at Marinelli’s on Main for years. They know me. We’ll head down there first thing tomorrow.”
Reeling, I tried to think through a plan. “I suppose we can slip out while Ella’s in the kitchen. God knows what she’s planning on making tomorrow.”
The thought had both of us smiling. “She’s so lovely,” Mom whispered. “You chose very well, Grayson.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Sometime just before dawn, I felt Ellie’s cool hands against my face.
“Gray?”
I didn’t know if I was awake or dreaming. “Mmm?”
She traced my eyebrow. “ Grayson ?”
Gradually, reality sank in. I felt the chill creeping in from the windows across the room, the slight dampness of being near the sea, her heart thrumming against my chest. Quick, staccato beats. Unusually so…
My eyes flew open. I searched for her face. “Ellie? Another nightmare? ”
Peering at her through the darkness, I realized she wasn’t upset at all. She looked elated . A dazzling smile filled her sweet features.
“No. Gray, it’s snowing .”
Still drowsy, I let my eyes slip closed as I groaned and tried to pull her back on top of me. “It’s also the middle of the night.”
“No, Gray,” she said again, shaking me lightly. “ It’s snowing . At the beach. The day before Christmas Eve!” She bounced on her knees, vibrating with excitement. “We have to go outside, come on!”
Grumbling, I scrubbed at my face. “Outside? In the dark? In the cold ?”
Luminous sapphire eyes glowed down at me, beseeching. “Please?”
She looked so hopeful and happy. A fresh swell of love surged through me, pushing me up onto my elbows. I pressed a soft kiss between her brows. “Only for you, Ellie.”
We wandered outside, dressed haphazardly in sweats, unlaced shoes, and open coats. Bracing blusters rolled up from the ocean, banishing my grogginess. By the time we made it to the sand, I was wide awake. But I could have sworn I was still in a dream.
With snowflakes studding her eyelashes and melting on her peachy cheeks, Ella looked like an angel. She held her palms up to the sky as she turned in fluid circles along the shore. Her laugh floated through the wind.
“See?” she called. “It’s like magic!”
And it was. She was.
Every bright, beautiful thing about the world.
Everything right about my world.
I did see. I saw that I was the single most fortunate man on the whole damn planet, to have this woman love me. I saw that my entire life would be worth more than I ever imagined. Because of her.
God. I didn’t know I could love anything so much that it would become a physical ache inside of me. Covering the place where my heart threatened to pound out of my chest, I rubbed at it while I watched her dance in the snowy sand.
Her delighted hums and giggles put a wide grin on my face. When she caught me staring, she charged right at me, leaping into my arms. I caught her with a grunt, holding her body with one arm while my palm cupped her face.
Our gazes connected, sending me back to the very first time she ever looked at me. Just like that day on the subway, something in my soul simply clicked.
Ella felt it, too. Her delight softened into adoration.
“Gray,” she whispered, leaning her forehead into mine. “I love you so much.”
Fuck . My throat burned, longing to give her precious words back to her. I’d already made her wait for weeks, saving them for my proposal, determined to plan the romantic moment she deserved. I couldn’t give it all up mere hours before I popped the question.
Disappointing her was hell. Like an oil spill suffocating an ocean, hurt bled into her irises. I clutched her tighter, praying she wouldn’t try to pull away from me.
She didn’t at all. Instead of retreating to protect herself, she surrendered even more, brushing a tender kiss over my cheek.
Sometimes, in my darker moments, I almost hated how much she loved me. How could I ever deserve it? I didn’t know. But, in that second, I felt like a failure.
“Ella—”
She pressed her frozen fingers against my mouth, hushing me. “No. Don’t. This is all too beautiful. We should just… enjoy it.”
I nestled her closer, hiding my face in her damp hair. “Ellie?—”
Wrapping her arms around my neck, she hugged me. “Can we sit?”
Without any other recourse, I sighed and lowered us to the ground. Ella rearranged herself, turning to drape her legs across my lap and lean her head back into my shoulder.
She gazed up at the swirling sky, her expression taking on a wistful note that matche d her voice. “I only wish we could see the stars.”
I thought of my gifts for her—the telescope, the ring—and folded her closer. Soon, baby , I vowed silently. I’m going to give you everything .