Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
One in five men are abused in Raza. Which is a shame. Back in my day, it used to be one in four.
Not all progress is quick. I have to remember that.
- King Richard
When we step out of the bathroom, Fabia is there to meet us.
She’s sitting beside the coffee table, setting up some sort of board game, with a bottle of wine already uncorked and waiting.
My queen runs to her, and Fabia jumps to her feet to embrace her.
Knowing that she’ll be in good care, I step up to the two of them and lay a hand on Arienna’s shoulder.
“I need to see Nicholas,” I say softly. “I’ll be back soon.”
She starts to untangle herself, but I shake my head. “You stay here and –” My eyes flick to the colourful forest of mini monster dildos set up on the board. “Play whatever that is.”
“It’s called Come Kill Karl,” she says with a small grin. “We designed it after Karl dumped me. Do you want to play with us?”
I grin for two reasons. First, because fuck Karl. Second… “You mean Cum Kill Karl, like jizz, right?” I ask dryly.
She nods vigorously, and I press a kiss on her forehead. Of course it’s called that.
“Some other time,” I say, meaning it. I wasn’t able to kill Karl in real life; this might scratch that itch. But even if not, simply spending time with my queen is something I won’t pass up. Especially if it chases those shadows from her eyes.
The scar on my hand burning, I turn from them. Jace is watching me, knowing damn well where my mind is.
And where I’m heading.
And how I’m most likely going to fuck this up.
“Stay with them,” I say.
“Richard.” He lowers his voice as he steps up to me. We head for the door as the two women start to play. “She told the entire Court that Nicholas is next. If anyone in the coup took that as permission –”
“It’s why I’m taking Echo.”
“She won’t be enough –”
“And Evangeline will most likely be there.” Somewhere in the shadows.
“You stole her leg. If she’s there, it’s to kill you herself.”
“I won it.”
That draws him up short. She’s too damn competitive to kill me in order to take it back. She’ll need to beat me.
Reaching the door, I pull it open. “Keep her safe.”
His jaw tight, he nods. “Don’t –”
I shut the door in his face, knowing damn well what he’s going to say. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to do what I’m about to do. I know exactly how to not fuck it up.
But knowledge doesn’t always stop one from being an idiot.
In that, Nicholas, we are the same.
Tension building inside me, I head for his room. When I find it empty, my heart plummets into my feet. Part of me wants to believe that he might be dead. That he never made it back. Because that’ll be better than the alternative.
Guilt slamming into me, I pivot and storm down the hall, then spread my wings and fly to the healing quarters. Echo trails behind me, as silent as any shadow.
Everything in me is trying to convince myself that my brother isn’t here. That he isn’t just behind the wooden door now in front of me. But I don’t need to hear his voice to know he is.
He always goes running back to her whenever she’s hurt.
I shove open the door, trying to control my fury. I don’t want him to see it and mistake it for judgement.
I’ll be behind him whatever he chooses. Whatever stupid mistake he makes, I will be there to pick up the pieces.
It’s her I hate.
“Stephanie –” Nicholas murmurs as he holds her hand. He spins in his seat to face me, guilt flashing in his eyes. But he doesn’t release her hand.
She’s lying in bed with a healer standing over her. White light glows from the witch’s palms as they hover over her bared and bleeding stomach.
“Will she live?” I demand.
“Yes, Your –”
“Then get out.”
“I’ve not fi–” She cuts off at the glare I give her. Her magic fades. Her face pales.
“Richard!” Nicholas protests as he stands.
“She can stay if you leave,” I say, turning my attention to him and letting him see that honesty.
“I can’t leave her,” he replies, his voice twisted with a love she does not fucking deserve.
I look back at the healer. She hurries for the door, her head bowed.
“Stop!” Nicholas begs of her. But she doesn’t, stepping out into the hall, so he turns to me. “Please! She needs help.”
“She needs to die.”
“She’s my wife!”
“Ex-wife.”
“Because you forced –”
“Look in the mirror, Nicholas!” I roar, staring at the twisted half of his face. He flinches, the scars she gave him twisting in agony and shame.
I close my eyes briefly as I inhale. Opening them again, I force myself under control. “She does not deserve your loyalty, brother.”
“And you do?” he bites out bitterly, his words cutting deep into a guilt that’s never left. My scarred hand burning with all the ways I’ve failed my siblings, I press it against my thigh.
“I didn’t mean –”
I shake my head, not wanting to discuss Aurelia here. Not in front of Stephanie. Even if she’s unconscious, her mere presence is a disease.
“I know I haven’t been there for you like I should’ve, but my duties as king –”
“I know,” he says. There’s no hate in his words. Just a tiredness, a regret, a lifetime of accepting that he will never come first while I wear the crown.
While I went off to war with our two sisters, he was left behind. When I became king, the distance between us grew because it’s too risky for us to be in the same place for long. I went to war and became a hero. He was forced to stay behind and became a victim.
“But Stephanie was there for me when you weren’t,” he says, words he’s said a thousand times in an attempt to get me to understand.
Schooling my voice, trying to keep the desperation out so it doesn’t sound like judgement, I say flatly, “Like she was there for you at dinner tonight?”
He flinches.
I don’t know exactly what happened, but it was harsh enough for even my queen to realise he was being insulted.
And she can’t even tell when the Court is threatening me.
I take a step towards him, trying to bridge this gap.
I might not understand what drives him back into her arms, but I know attacking him for it isn’t going to make him want to leave with me.
“Come with me,” I say, “and I’ll let the healer back in.”
I can see him playing with the idea of only stepping out temporarily, but if it gets him away from her even for a moment, I’ll take it.
He doesn’t say anything as he files out of the room. I toy with a knife, my eyes on his ex as I follow him. But I gave him my word I would not hurt her, and I will not take away his choices like she did.
The healer looks at me as we step into the hall. I nod at the door as I move out of her way. She heads back inside, but I’m pleased to see she doesn’t rush in. It seems she isn’t a fan of Stephanie either; she’s just a healer with a duty of care.
“The girls are playing some game,” I say. “We’re going to join them.”
“I need to –”
“Arienna is fucking traumatised,” I snap, using whatever I can to get him to listen. “She did that for you. I might not be worthy of your loyalty, but she is. So you will do this for her. She asked to see you.” The lie comes out so smoothly. “But I didn’t want her to see you here.”
He looks away in shame, and I work on making my voice less harsh.
It isn’t easy when I’m so angry with the bitch on the other side of the door.
And with myself. I should have remembered she would be at dinner tonight, but I was so pissed at Evangeline for having attacked my wife that it slipped my mind.
“One game,” I say softly. “It’s a short one. And Fabia and Arienna have already started, so we’ll be joining half-way through.”
He glances back at me. “Can we join partway?”
I nod, more lies just falling out of my mouth. “We’ll have to team up though. Me and Arienna, you and Fabia.”
He nods, and with an outpouring of relief, I lead him back to my room. But I don’t miss the lingering look he casts at the door.
If only I could kill all my enemies…