Chapter 45
Forty-Five
A queen does not let her personal issues get in the way of ruling the kingdom.
Nicholas can fucking handle it.
- King Richard
A whole day has passed, and I still haven’t found her. A stack of urgent papers lie on my desk, a handspan thick, but I don’t look at a single one of them. Instead, I’m studying a map of the city, trying to figure out where she’s hiding.
“Daily report on Arienna,” Jace says as he walks into my office and makes himself at home in the chair across from me. I glance up at him, my body tight despite his smile. “She is alive.”
“And?” I demand.
“Well.”
I clench my jaw, pissed at how little he’s giving me. “Is she eating?”
“Yes.”
“Is she… happy?” I bite out.
“No.”
Thank gods. I don’t care if that makes me an ass. It’s not going to be long before she comes to her fucking senses and realises she can do a lot better than me.
“Are you going to tell me where she is?”
“No.”
“Then get out.”
Ignoring me, he digs a gosberry out of his tunic. Trying to ignore him, I circle parts of the map I think she might be. With each O, I glance at Jace, looking for some sign that the place I marked is correct.
But the bastard’s face never changes.
And the pen eventually snaps in my hand.
It’s been three days, and no one will tell me where she is.
I have searched every nook and cranny in this fucking castle, including the tunnels.
I have walked the markets and visited Gnox’s bakery, as well as the homes and businesses of all the people she talked to in the Throne Room.
I even forced my way into Warress Fahy’s home, threatening the staff with treason if they didn’t let me in.
But everywhere I go, Jace trails behind me, being the biggest fucking nuisance. Even now, in Aurelia’s Library, the most sacred place in all the Seven Planes, he’s being an utter ass.
“Oh, he definitely won’t torture you if you help hide her,” he says cheerfully as I glare at the librarian, trying to bully her into talking. “Feel free to tell him to shove his nose up his ass – this is the one time you’ll be able to insult the king without consequence.”
She blinks at us, then moves her hands quickly in front of her, signing words I don’t know. I curse as I storm away. She’s fucking deaf. Great. Of course she is. Although I could try writing my questions out to her, I know it won’t be of any use.
I might be Raza’s king, but it’s my damn bodyguard who has everyone wrapped around his finger. The charismatic little shit.
The only reason I haven’t locked him in the dungeons is because he’s assured me he’s working with Evangeline to keep her safe. Now that word’s leaked about how easily I can be swayed if someone threatens her, all my enemies are fucking targeting her.
“Gods fucking dammit,” I seethe as Jace joins me outside.
My skin feels too tight across my bones, and I step farther away from the doors of the library.
I haven’t been in there since I finished building it with Jace and Nicholas.
I want to get away, to find somewhere I can fucking breathe, but I don’t know which direction to go.
My queen has all my air. All my peace. And I’ve fucking lost her. You chased her away, asshole.
You should’ve stopped.
You should’ve fucking stopped when she called her safe word.
I run a hand through my hair. Then spin towards Jace. “Tell me where she is. That’s a fucking order.”
“She’s in Gaera.”
“Jace.”
“No.”
“I’ll ban fucking cake.”
He looks at me in horror. “How many people are having sex with cake for you to need to ban fucking it?”
My jaw tightens.
He grins.
I breathe heavily. Unable to think of anything else to say, I snap, “I’m being serious.”
He grins. Then laughs. “Some things are worth losing. And if I lose cake so you don’t lose her, then so be it.”
Fuck. Now I want to throttle him as much as I want to slug him in the shoulder and pretend that didn’t hit me in the feels. “I’ve already lost her,” I say raggedly.
“No, you haven’t. But if you go all caveman on her and carry her back to the castle, you’ll be doing the exact same thing that chased her off to begin with. You need to trust her, Dickie.”
“She’s a brownie.”
“Remind me who managed to poison you again?”
My jaw tightens, but I don’t bring up my sister and how even she couldn’t handle this life.
Not to him. I know how much he’s fucking suffering beneath that charming smile.
The anniversary of her death is in only a few days, and unlike every year before, I can’t focus on it with him.
Can’t grieve with him. He’s alone because I’m a fucking mess.
Because I made a fucking mess.
“Besides,” he says, “this is a golden opportunity to lure out all your enemies.”
“She’s my wife! I’m not using her as bait!”
“No, she’s not. You got an annulment, remember?”
I lunge for him, but he just kicks me in the balls, and I drop to my hands and knees as the fucker laughs.
Pulling a gosberry out of his tunic, he eats it while I try not to puke all over the ground.
Fuck, if he does that again, I won’t even need to use contraceptives with my wife.
He’ll have kicked all the future kids out of me.
Closing my eyes, I struggle to my feet. I want to kill him and Evangeline – the two people who I know for certain know where she is. But Jace is a masochist waiting to die so he can reunite with Aurelia, and Evangeline pissed herself laughing when I tried to threaten her earlier this morning.
“You need us, Dickie,” she said as she sat on the floor of my room, wiping away her tears as someone banged on the closed door of my ensuite. They screamed for help behind a muffled gag.
Any other time, I would’ve demanded to know who she had locked in my bathroom, but if it doesn’t have anything to do with Arienna, I frankly don’t care anymore.
“I need to see her,” I tell Jace as I open my eyes.
“You need a shower and a shave and some fucking sleep.”
Spreading my wings, I launch into the air. Ignoring his concern for me, I head down to the forest floor. I’ve spent all this time looking in Kholar, but she is a brownie. If she isn’t in our tree, then she could be in the meadow.
As soon as I touch down in Brownston, I grab the nearest brownie by his arm. The mushroom-shaped houses rising up around us are a vivid difference to the wooden elegance of Raza. They look more like her. My heart calms just a little bit. But not enough.
“Has Arienna moved back here?” I demand of the man.
“Nope.”
“Where is her mother?” Perhaps she can give me insight into where her daughter might’ve gone to find solace.
He points at a pink-haired woman coming out of a shop.
“Dab!” I call out as I stride over to her. She turns to me with a smile.
“Yes?”
“Where did Arienna go when she was sad as a kid?”
“A good brownie is never sad.”
“Yes, yes, but where did she go after her granddad…” I grit my teeth together. Realising my hand is already on the blade at my hip, I force myself to let it go. “After he died?”
“She left with Fabia.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“She was your daughter. Six years old and you didn’t watch her?”
She blinks at me, not understanding.
“They’re brainwashed,” Jace says as he removes my hand from my knife.
Shrugging him off, I turn and spread my wings. It was pointless to come here.
“Oh, are you leaving already?” Arienna’s mother asks. “You should come to our orgy. It’s Cara’s sixth –”
I’m on her in an instant. My blade slips into her chest. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t scream. No one around us does either. Her smile doesn’t even falter as she looks at me. Joy still lingers in her eyes.
A chill tightens the grip on my knife.
“If it pleases you, you may stab me again. Uncle Jim was like that. He had to go on… a lot of dates to find someone who liked to be stabbed. My mother went… out with him once, but… their interests didn’t line up… so she hooked him… up with her… sister.”
Her face pales, but there’s not a flicker of pain in her eyes. Not a flicker of fear.
“Richard,” Jace says, his voice low. But I don’t give a shit if she’s fully indoctrinated in this cult. She was willing to let her daughter be raped on her sixth birthday. And despite me having rounded up all the children who lived here, I seem to have missed one.
So I don’t give a shit if she’s a victim herself; I’m more than willing to live with her death on my hands if it means saving Cara and avenging my wife.
“It would please me,” I say softly, “if you died.”
“O…kay.” Stepping back, she pulls herself off my knife. Then she flings herself forwards, impaling her neck on the blood-slicked blade. Her eyes flutter shut as she slides to the ground, but her grin never wavers.
“Shit,” Jace says as he stands beside me, looking down at her. “That’s going to give me nightmares.”
I hand him my knife. “Get rid of this while I find Cara.”
“We should get a witch to bless it first,” he mutters as he pinches it between two fingers and holds it away from him. “What are you going to tell Arienna?”
“Can’t tell her anything if I can’t fucking find her,” I say as I march back to the man that pointed out Dab. “Where’s Cara?”
He points to a group of brownies.
All adults, they walk down the street, groping each other as they move. One of the women sees me and beckons me over. The two men beside her are kissing her neck. One’s groping her tits; the other has his hand down her panties.
“Do you want to come to my wedding?” She turns to kiss the man on her left. “We’re having an orgy!”
She points to a banner I didn’t notice at all.
Cara’s Sixth Wedding: Orgy Ceremony. Dress Optional.
Shit. Still no fucking regrets though.
My skin tight, I head for the meadow surrounding the town. I’m not ready to head back home yet. It feels too empty in her absence.
As I push through the flower stalks, bright colours wave above me. Ants and grasshoppers move through the dense greenery. Something bigger rustles on my left. Jace appears on my right, the knife I used to kill Dab gone.