Chapter 46
Forty-Six
At the Battle of Black Sun, King Morningstar was nearly quartered by the Jokeni.
And it still felt better than this.
- King Richard
“Arienna’s daily update,” Jace says as he kicks his feet up on my desk.
It’s been two days since Hyatt dropped off our grandkids.
I haven’t slept or eaten at all. A map of the city is spread out in front of me again, and I’m slowly colouring it in.
I’m no longer looking where I think she might be.
I’ve simply reverted to kicking in every fucking door.
“She’s alive, well, eating, and not as sad.”
My pen stills as my head jerks up. Is she healing because she’s found someone else? Or is being alone still better than being with me?
Lunging over the desk, I grab him by the collar. “Enough with your fucking games, Jace. Tell me where she is.”
Leaning forwards, he kisses me on the lips. “I do love it when you’re rough.”
I shove him away hard enough to make him trip over his chair. As he topples to the ground with it, I fly up to the ceiling. Pulling out a knife, I hold it to my arm. I’m the only thing he cares about. “Tell me where she is.”
His eyes narrow as he stares up at me. “What are you –”
I cut the knife deep into my skin, my jaw clenching from the pain.
“Fuck, Richard. She’s fine.”
I slide the blade across me again, same place, cutting deeper. My blood pours down on Jace. I lose the feeling in my fingers. “Tell me where she is.”
“Richard.”
I slice my arm again. A cold sweet pours off me. My wings flap in a rhythm that has me dropping every few beats.
Jace slowly rises to his feet, his hands raised. I cut my arm without hesitation. The knife digs deep into bone, then gets stuck. Releasing it, I pull out another one as he shoots up towards me, his wings flapping much harder than mine.
I point the blade against my chest.
He stops instantly, still too far away from me.
“Where is she?” I ask, pushing the tip past the skin over my heart.
“She needs her space.”
“I won’t talk to her. I just want to see her.”
When he hesitates, I push it in farther. My eyes flicker shut, and by the time, I open them, Jace is on me, the knife in my chest wrenched away. I grab another one of my blades and –
“Barracks,” he shouts as he presses one hand to my chest, trying to stop the bleeding. His other arm is around my waist. “She’s in the fucking barracks, you crazy lunatic. Now drop the knife.”
It slips from my fingers. Clatters to the floor a second before Jace lands with me.
“You need a healer,” he snaps as he shifts me in his arms and runs for the door. “Fucking idiot.”
But I don’t care.
I’m going to see my queen.
“She doesn’t want to see him.” Fabia’s voice drifts through the darkness cloaking me.
“I’m not giving her a choice. Look at him, Fabia. He did that to him-fucking-self.”
“It’s not her fault he’s an idiot.”
“Jace,” I rasp, knowing he’s seconds away from knocking her out and getting Arienna himself. My eyes closed, I fight to open them.
“Morning, shithead. Can you feel this?” Grabbing my hand, he snaps my finger back.
I jerk. “Shit.”
“Good. You’ve got the feeling in your hand back. Kioshi said you did, but I wanted to check.”
“It was the other –” Fabia starts.
“Oh, yeah.”
I try to move my other hand out of range, but he grabs it easily and snaps another finger.
I jerk up as I hiss through the pain.
“Gods, Richard, what the fuck were you thinking?”
As warmth flows through my broken fingers, I know the healer is still in the room. Shit. If Kioshi is here that means he’s planning to break more bones.
“Get out,” I tell her as soon as I open my eyes.
Jace grabs my newly healed finger. “Are you sure you don’t want her to stay?” He breaks it again.
“Father fucker!”
“Oh, stop being such a baby. We need to make sure all your fingers have been healed properly since you severed your fucking tendon.”
“They’re fine –” Kioshi starts, then shuts up.
I jerk my hand away from Jace. Fabia shoves him aside as she takes his place. I don’t even care if she wants to break one of my fingers too though. All I want is one thing: “Is she okay?”
“She’s doing better than you,” Fabia says as she gestures for Kioshi to heal me. As soon as she does, the healer looks at me. Then Jace. Then back at me.
“Get out,” I growl.
Nodding, she leaves.
Fabia shakes her head. “No, that’s a lie. Arienna’s hiding her broken heart under more pain too; it’s just being mete out by the other recruits rather than herself.”
I swing my legs over the side of the bed. “Give me the names of everyone who’s laid a hand on her.” Our army is about to have a massive loss of soldiers.
“Richard Dickwad Morningstar,” she answers flatly.
I glare at her, but it lacks any heat. “I know I fucked up, but I did it to protect her.” I hold her gaze, noticing that it looks infinitely more sympathetic than the last time I saw it. “And you know you would’ve done the same in my place.”
She glances away before looking back at me. “I would have talked to her first.”
I scoff. “You tried to kill me even though she begged you not to.”
“Yeah, but I still talked to her about it. I just didn’t listen. That’s different.”
“Seems to be,” I say sourly. Arienna forgave her fucking quickly. Looking down at the floor, I clear my throat. “Is she… seeing someone?”
“What? No.”
I close my eyes as a ragged breath leaves me.
“For some stupid reason, she loves you, and if she found out you’re acting this sort of crazy, she’d probably yell at me for keeping the secret and then at Jace for not protecting you.”
My head jerks up. I search her eyes for a lie. Not seeing one, the panic inside me calms. She still loves me.
Shaking her head, Fabia turns for the door. “I’m heading back. Echo only gave me an hour, and I’ve wasted half of it.”
“Wait.” I push to my feet and instantly grow dizzy. Jace grabs me before I even start to fall. “I thought Kioshi healed me?” I say to him.
“She did, but your dumbass nicked your heart. If you went much farther, I would’ve had to call Deirdre.”
“You wouldn’t have just put cum in my mouth to bring me back?” I ask dryly.
“Oh, I would have done that too and not just yours this time.”
Shoving him away from me, I head for the desk in the sitting area. A bang sounds from my ensuite, but I ignore it. Opening a drawer, I pull out a pen and piece of paper. After scrawling a quick note, I fold it over and press my seal into the wax.
Fabia comes up behind me. “Who’s in the bathroom?”
“Someone Evangeline’s dealing with. Not important.” I hand her the note. “Give this to Echo.”
“Not Arienna?”
I shake my head. “I need to clear any gift deliveries to the barracks with Echo.”
She grabs the note. Pocketing it, she heads for the door. “Fine, but maybe don’t kill yourself before then, yeah?”
A slow smile curls my lips. “Worried about me?”
Stepping out, she scoffs, “No. I’d just never hear the fucking end of it.”
As soon as she’s gone, Jace turns to me.
“I’m not in the mood,” I say as I head for the kitchenette to grab a bottle of helfire. Ambrosia is for the nice days; helfire is for when you want to suffer.
“Tough shit.” Taking the bottle off me, he shoves me onto a stool. I only sit because my damn legs give out. Then he pops the cork and drinks straight from the bottle. I wince, listening to it sizzle down his throat.
“And you’re worried I’m suicidal,” I mutter.
He slams the bottle down, glaring at me. “You ever do anything like that again, and I’ll kill her myself.”
The world stills, holding its breath; a chill settles between us.
He’s most likely playing free fall, just like I was when I cut and stabbed myself, but I don’t care. If he wants to bluff on this, with her life, he will lose.
“Careful, Jace,” I say softly, calculating an attack.
Pulling one of my knives is the obvious choice, but he’ll expect it.
Kicking the stool next to me into him will be slightly better, especially if I go for a knife at the same time.
He’ll lunge for me, off-balance. And with him nervous about my health, he will hold back enough for me to snap his neck.
His eyes unwavering, he leans forwards. “This is me being careful. You are the only friend I have in this fucking place. I sacrificed Aurelia for you, so if you think I will let you turn her death into something meaningless, you’re fucking delusional.
I protect what’s mine, Dickie. I’m not losing you too. ”
The air turns heavy.
My body itches to move, but the damn thing wants to embrace him, not kill him.
Looking away, I mutter, “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” Straightening, he slides the bottle to me. “You get one gulp. Then I’m taking your ass to bed.”