Chapter Fifteen
I had never expected that our night together would seal something so permanent. I’ve been in love with him since our first date. But I saw a side of him that not only took me by complete surprise but also reached deep inside me and cemented us being together.
I don’t know how I’m going to let him go.
I know that the guilt his mum feels over him having to move back home is filling her. The brief telephone conversations we have had since meeting her have proved how she wants him to have his life the way it would be without her illness. But he’s so stubborn he refuses to listen to her reasoning that she’s capable of living alone, that him being a phone call away is good enough. During our phone calls, I’ve told her how important Noah is to me. “You have to persuade him, Everett. Make him an offer he can’t refuse. It will be impossible for me to leave if he doesn’t have you.”
But should I be telling him this right now?
“Noah, sweetheart, don’t cry. We can sort this out, I promise.”
I pull him into my arms and hold him as he cries into my collarbone.
“I don’t know how. She struggles every day.”
“I know she does, but you can’t change that. You’re not with her twenty-four hours a day. You have to work. Do you think your mum wants you to give up your life for her? She feels guilty enough about you giving up your flat.”
Noah looks up. “You seem to know a lot about her and what she thinks.”
And narrows his eyes. “How is that?”
he asks in a cold voice.
Anger flashes over his face, and he moves off my body and stands. He opens his bag and pulls out some clothes. “Well?”
He steps into a pair of black briefs and tugs them up.
“We’ve spoken on the phone a couple of times. She’s worried about you, about what she’s taking from you.”
I dress in the jeans I had on yesterday, not wanting this argument to continue naked.
“Yet neither of you have told me about these ‘chats’.”
He adds speech marks around the word. “I’m not a child you need to discuss or to decide what’s best for me.”
He yanks his T-shirt over his head, steps into his jeans, and buttons them carefully. “You’ve just made the decision of what to do and how I feel very easily. Don’t call me again, Everett.” He storms out of the bedroom and stomps down the stairs.
I follow him, almost tripping over my feet on the bottom step. “Noah, stop. Wait, please, you’ve got this wrong. I know you’re not a child or need to tell you what to do, but both your mother and I love you, and we want to make sure you get to be happy in both your world with her and in ours.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
He’s out the door, not bothering to close it, let alone slam it, and gets into his car. Without looking back at me, he drives away. What the fuck just happened? I stand in the doorway until his car has gone from view.
I should leave him alone and let him calm down, but I’m too in love with him to let him go. He can have his anger fit, his stomping away, but he doesn’t get to end things with me. I finish dressing and call Julia while I grab my keys and get into my car.
“Good morning, Julia, it’s Everett. Noah is on his way home. He’s so, so angry about us talking. I’m just getting in my car to come to him.”
I have the phone trapped between my ear and my shoulder as I slam the car door and press the start button. “I’ll be with you in fifteen minutes.”
“Oh, Everett, I’m sorry. If he gets home, I’ll try to talk to him.”
“I think it would be best to let him get his shouting over with. I won’t be long.”
I end the call and follow the route Noah has taken to his home.
When I get there, Julia is standing on the doorstep, leaning heavily on her cane. Hopefully, I haven’t caused a trigger that could start a relapse.
“He hasn’t come home,”
she says. Tight lines around her eyes give away her concern. “He’s not answering his phone either.”
I follow her into the house. “Do you have any idea where he would go?”
How could the morning have gone from a glorious high to a devastating low? Thankfully, she nods.
“He’ll go to see Leo.”
“Leo from the bar? Will they even be open yet?”
I check my watch. It’s only eleven thirty.
She smiles. “Even if it isn’t, Noah knows where Leo lives. They were neighbours before Noah moved back home. But my money will be on him being at the bar.”
“Okay, I’ll go there.”
“Hold on, not so fast. Tell me what happened. What went on between the two of you?”
I raise an eyebrow, and she has the decency to blush a little, just like Noah does. “Not everything. For goodness’ sake, he’s my son. I meant what did you do to make him leave.”
I tell her about our conversation, all of it. How he feels about me, about having to leave me to care for his mum. “He misunderstood it all. Everything was misconstrued, and he behaved like a petulant child, overreacting and storming off without accepting any explanation. I’m as angry with him as I am with myself.”
“Maybe you both need some time to cool down.”
“You should speak to him too, Julia. You’ve been planning your future behind his back. When are you going to tell him you’re leaving? That’s something you should’ve told him before me.”
“What do you mean you’re leaving?”
I spin on my heels. Noah stands in the doorway, his face pale and his eyes wide.
Julia swears quietly under her breath.
“Why are you here, Everett? I told you to leave me alone.”
Noah pushes past me. “What the fuck is going on?”
“I think we all need to sit down and talk this out,”
Julia says, her voice shaky and her eyes filling with tears. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Noah.”
“I should let you have this conversation by yourselves,”
I say. Noah flinches, but he needs to know this and the consequences of him rushing out. “You know where to find me, kitten.”
I kiss the top of his head and leave them to talk.
Julia’s decision to move away to live with her parents is a good idea but not one she should’ve made by herself. The fact that she’s doing it to give Noah his life back is kind, but I warned her that it could also leave him feeling angry. He might argue—and rightfully so—that she could’ve done this before he gave up his flat and his life. We were supposed to talk it all through once Noah decided where he wanted to be and with who, meaning me.
I get back in my car and drive home. Now I have an empty day, which is not how I expected to spend my first weekend with Noah to go. We didn’t even get to have breakfast. Hell, we hadn’t even made coffee. I start the coffee brewing and strip the bed. Changing the sheets after the amount of sex we’ve had is not a bad idea. Even if Noah chooses me, we will need a clean bed.
The day goes slowly, with no word from either Noah or Julia. After dinner, I open a bottle of wine, take it into the living room, and turn on the telly. Hopefully, he’ll be back before the end of the action movie I watch with half an eye. By nine o’clock, I have to admit it’s not going to happen. But we still could be okay. We need to be okay. It’s not like I gave him an ultimatum. He can come back at any time, on any day.
At eleven, the wine bottle is empty, and I’m buzzed enough to ensure sleep without missing Noah in my arms.
The days drag on. I hardly leave the house in case Noah comes back and tell Phil to deal with everything. When I walk to the front door to make sure it’s locked, a shadow stands behind the opaque glass. I can’t get the door open fast enough, and there, in the dark summer night is Noah.
I let go of a breath that feels as if I’ve been holding on to it since this all started a week ago.